Chapter 7
Everything was happening so quickly, one minute Gibbs had been by Jenny's side trying to keep her alive, the next he was running after Jenny who lay limp on a gurney with paramedics shouting at one another as they pushed her to the awaiting ambulance.
He'd travelled in the ambulance with her after yelling at the paramedics that he was her husband and would under no circumstance would leave her side for a minute, although it felt slightly strange for him to refer to himself as her husband, it was true, he wouldn't leave her.
"Sir you can't go back there" A Nurse said as she pushed Gibbs back from where Jenny was being taken straight into surgery .
"I'm her husband" Gibbs told her, "She's my wife" he added after a moment.
"Okay Mr Shepard, there is a waiting room through there, a doctor will come for you when they have news" the nurse directed Gibbs to double door of which on the other side sat a fairly large waiting room.
Gibbs gave a little smile when she'd called him 'Mr Shepard', Jenny's words from their honeymoon ringing in his ears, 'I love you Mr Leroy Jethro Shepard….Maybe not taking your wife's last name is why your last three marriages didn't work out'.
"Thank you" He mumbled to the nurse before walking through the double doors and sitting down on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs. He ran a hand down his face, he knew that he was probably covered in bruises and cuts, that he probably looked a state, probably needed food and drink, needed to sleep but he didn't care. He didn't feel the pain and the aches and the weakness from being held hostage for the best part of three or four days, the only thing he was feeling was his gut churning with worry and pain of what was happening to the women he loved.
"GIBBS!" He looked up to find Abby running towards him, her pigtails flying and her make up smudged, before he really had time to prepare himself she'd got him locked in a tight hug. "I'm so glad your okay" she told him "And I know I should be mad at you for not telling me about you and the director sooner but I really don't care anymore all that matters is your both going to be okay, I mean she's gunna be okay right?" She asked looking at Gibbs with watery green eyes.
"I dunno Abs" Gibbs admitted, he didn't, his gut wasn't telling him how he felt for once, it just told him he was feeling something, just couldn't unscramble what it was.
"Positive thoughts, we have to think positive thoughts" Abby mumbled walking around a big closing her eyes and crossing her fingers for good luck.
Soon the rest of the team arrived, even Ducky and Vance. "Have you heard anything?" Vance asked Gibbs, his tone full of serious compassion and worry.
"They took her straight into surgery" Gibbs told Vance, for many years he'd thought this guy was a total prick but right now, he seemed a genuinely decent guy.
"Okay, I need to inform sec-nav then I'm gunna have to call my wife and tell her I won't be home" Vance sighed before running a tried hand down his face before walking off to make the phone calls in peace.
Twenty minutes later Gibbs still hadn't heard anything from the doctors, not hearing anything was always a good thing he thought, it meant she was still alive at least, "I'm going for coffee" he grumbled before getting up out of his chair and walking away from the team.
He reached a narrow hallway where he found a vending machine with coffee and other hot drinks, as his cup began to fill and the strong smell of coffee reached his nostrils he heard a familiar voice.
"Love you too baby girl, I promise I'll read you two stories tomorrow" Gibbs heard Vance promise his daughter down the phone.
It made Gibbs slightly jealous to hear that Vance had kids, that he had a family to go home to, that unlike Jenny he hadn't had to sacrifice everything to get to the top, that Vance wasn't the one with a bullet in his chest because he wanted to save his wife.
Gibbs grumbled before grabbing his coffee and began to walk back to the others when another memory began to fill his mind making him stop in his tracks and lean against the wall beside him.
….
It had been a long day, a long couple of days trying to catch a serial killer who was going after any female marine nurse he could find because his wife who'd had the same job had left him for a fellow marine. It had resulted in Ziva and Tony going undercover as a marine couple, she a nurse then almost being stabbed to death by the serial killer but luckily Gibbs had got there in time to arrest him.
When he'd been waiting for Ziva and Tony to be stitched up at the hospital Gibbs could have sworn he'd seen Jenny there but hadn't wanted to say anything, he just called Cynthia to see if he could talk to his wife only to have her tell him that Jenny was out on a personal matter.
To say he was worried would be an understatement, his mind was whirling with why she would need to go to the doctors and not tell him about it. He prayed to whoever was up there that it wasn't serious, he didn't think he could stand loosing another wife, a wife that he really loved, his soul mate if you believed in that sort of thing.
His head lifted up from the intricate carving he was doing on the boat when he heard the front door shut behind him and now that he locked the door there was only one other person it could be, he put down his tools and went up the stairs to greet her.
"Hey" Jenny smiled at him when he appeared from the basement, his old NCIS t-shirt covered in sawdust.
"Hi" He mumbled before reaching down and giving her a quick kiss on the lips before he followed her into the kitchen.
"I heard about Tony and Ziva, are they okay?" She asked her husband as she poured herself some coffee.
"Yeah, just needed a few stitches, I called your office earlier to tell you but Cynthia said you were out on a personal matter" Gibbs eyed his wife carefully as he began to fish for information.
Jenny noticed the way he was looking at her and suspected that he had seen her at the hospital, just as she had feared after learning they'd been there at the same time "Yes I had errands to run and didn't have any meetings so didn't see the harm" she smiled at him sweetly, not wanting to tell him why she'd been to the hospital.
"Okay" Gibbs nodded before turning away from her and storming out of the kitchen, obviously annoyed.
"Something the matter Jethro?" the redhead asked as she followed him to the door of the basement where he turned to face her.
"If you don't want to tell me why you were at the hospital then fine, don't " he told her as he turned back around and headed into the basement and she followed, "I mean it's not like were married or anything….oh wait" he laughed coldly.
"Jethro" Jenny sighed as she crossed her arms over her chest in defensiveness. She stood at the top of the stairs while he went back to working on his boat.
"No Jen its fine if you don't want to tell me" Gibbs shrugged his shoulders, his tone telling her how hurt he was.
"It was nothing" she lied "It was just my check up, every director of a federal agency has to have one every six months" she lied again only this time her right eye twitched telling him she was lying.
"Your right eye twitched that's a lie" Gibbs accused.
"My right eye does not twitch when I lie" Jenny scoffed her hand going to touch said eye, Gibbs' only response was to raise an eyebrow as to say 'really', she gave in "I'll tell you" she told him "You are my husband after all" she reminded herself of this, they'd only been married just two months, it still felt new, that coupled with the fact that no one else knew.
Gibbs dropped his tools once more and turned to face her, the worry inside him increased as he saw how nervous she was, he wasn't sure now that he wanted to hear what she had to say, "I was having tests done" she told him after a moment.
"What tests?" Gibbs asked her, his voice hoarse.
"I was having tests done to see if I can have children" she told him after a moment, her gaze not able to meet his.
"What?" Gibbs asked in disbelief, his voice just above a whisper.
"I mean we've been trying for months but I still haven't got pregnant" Jenny mused, it was something she was really worried about.
"What do you mean we've been trying for months, this is the first I've heard of it" Gibbs' voice rose in anger.
"I stopped going on the pill two months after we got together, I know I should have told you…." she began but Gibbs cut her off.
"Your damn right you should have told me….this isn't just about you it's about me too…..did you even think about what I wanted if I wanted kids?" He asked her as he walked around the basement, she still stood on the stairs.
"Are you telling me you don't want to have a baby with me?" she asked him.
"I don't want kids Jen, why do you think I didn't have any with my other wives?" he asked her.
Jenny's eyes began to water "One, your great with kids and I thought you liked kids and two I thought I was different from your other wives" she told him, her voice a little shaky.
"Yeah I like kids, that doesn't mean I want to have them" Gibbs yelled at her "And your are different from them I just…I just…" He couldn't find the words.
"You just don't want to settle down" she told him "having a baby would mean that you're stuck with me, you wouldn't be able to divorce me so easily if we had a child together" she bit her lip and glared at him "I knew this wasn't real, that I was just going to be another number to your collection" she huffed before turning around on her heels and walking out, slamming the front door behind her.
Gibbs turned and punched the wooden shell of his boat, he should have told her about Shannon and Kelly, then she might see it from his perspective and understand, but she would never forgive him for not telling her about his first wife and daughter, there was still a chance though she could forgive him for this.
…
"Gibbs are you okay?" Vance's voice brought Gibbs back to the present.
"Huh…uh yeah I'm fine" Gibbs assured the assistant director before pushing off of the wall he was leaning against.
Together they walked back to the waiting room, when they arrived Ducky noticed Gibbs' pale face and misty blue eyes "Jethro are you alright?" the ME asked him.
"I'm fine" Gibbs assured them all once again before sitting back down in his seat. They all sat together waiting for something, waiting for the doctor to come into the waiting room and say that Jenny was okay, that she was waiting for him.
Two hours later a doctor in dark blue scrubs walked into the waiting room "Family of Mrs Shepard" he asked making the whole team and Vance stand.
Gibbs stepped forward "I'm her husband" he informed the doctor who then approached him.
"I've got good news, your wife is out of surgery and it went well, the bullet nicked a lung causing her to cough up some blood but we patched her up and she'll make it" the doctor told him with a confident smile.
"Can we see her?" Abby asked, her voice sounding hopeful.
"Yes but only two at a time, she's in room 604 on floor four" he nodded before walking away.
Gibbs then turned around to face his team, asking them if they wanted to see her "What are you waiting for Jethro, go and see your wife" Ducky encouraged making everyone smile, the ex-marine nodded before heading to her room where she was recovering.
When he walked into the room, the smell of antiseptic and the beeping sound of different machines reached his senses, it only cemented the fact in his heart that he had come so close to losing her, to having her leave him but only this time she'd never come back to him, they'd never get another chance to finally get things right.
He took in the sight of her, her skin as pale as the bed sheets she was laying on, the only thing for contrast was her red hair sprayed out beside her. Gibbs took the chair from the window and put it next to her bed before sitting down on it and taking her free hand, "I'm here Jen, I'm not leaving you" he whispered to her as he pressed a kiss to her knuckles.
After a moment he studied her face, she was still as beautiful to him as she'd ever been, there was only a small difference her facial expression looked as if she was in pain, like in her mind she was somewhere she didn't want to be, like she wasn't happy that he sat their beside her for when she woke.
"You'll never be a number Jen" He assured her, thinking back to the memory of their argument from when they'd been together, before he'd forgotten, he wanted to know more, wanted to know if they ever did resolve the issue.
All he knew was that he was ready now, ready to move on from his broken past, move from the shadows to the light. He was ready to really start something with Jenny, even if that meant having a baby, part of him would always worry about parallels to Kelly and Shannon and Jenny and a child but he had to stop thinking these things or he'd never live. Gibbs could have a life with Jenny if she'd just let him.
Meanwhile inside Jenny's head she was reliving a moment in her life that turned her world upside down, that brought them to this very moment, the catalyst for it all.
….
He didn't remember her, her own husband didn't remember who she was. Maybe he would never remember who she was. She wasn't who he wanted, he wanted Shannon. Who she'd just discovered was his first wife with whom he shared a daughter with, both tragically killed and he'd never told her about them.
Jenny sat in the bathroom in the house that they shared, but then she realised the real reason Gibbs wouldn't move into her house, it was because it was the house that he'd lived in with Shannon and Kelly, that's what they were called, the names of the two ghosts she'd felt herself fighting against but had never known what to call them.
She sat in the bathroom, trying to get rid of any trace of her ever living or being in Gibbs' life as she was pretty sure he wouldn't remember what they had ever because he never really wanted her, he just wanted to have fun, not be alone.
Putting her head in her hands she finally let herself cry, something she'd hardly ever done, she should have seen this coming, especially after their fight two weeks ago, he didn't want to have kids, now she knew why.
He didn't want to open his heart to another child, he didn't care that she wanted to be a mother or that she wanted to carry the child that she and the man she loved created, all he'd cared about was Shannon and Kelly. All she ever was to him was a number.
Getting up to her feet, she took her green toothbrush from next to his red one, as she did so she felt her heart breaking in two, this was supposed to be their home, she'd been living here for the best part of three months, she'd been so close to selling the house that had been in her family for generations.
"Jennifer" She quickly wiped her eyes and made herself look more presentable in time for Ducky to find her in the bathroom "What on earth are you doing here?" he asked her, anger evident in his voice.
"What does it look like I'm doing, I'm doing what I always do, running" she told Ducky with a shrug of her shoulders.
"You can't do this Jennifer, your husband needs you, you need to be at the hospital with him" He told her with a stern voice.
Jenny laughed as she opened up the bathroom cabinet and put what was left of her ablutions into her duffle bag "That's the thing, he doesn't need me" she told Ducky "He needs Shannon and Kelly and they can never come back" she told him.
"Who are Shannon and Kelly?" Ducky asked her, highly confused.
"Jethro didn't tell you either" she laughed knowing it was a little morbid "Jethro's first wife and daughter" she told him "Yup, I'm his wife and he couldn't even tell me, you wanna know why?" she asked the older man "Because he doesn't love me or want to be with me, he wants them, I'm not them and I'm tired of fighting with ghosts" she told Ducky before making him move aside so she could leave the house.
…
Gibbs blinked and it seemed half an hour had past already, he must have fallen asleep he thought. His hand still held Jenny's gently and so he squeezed it a little before letting go and standing up to stretch his back.
He wondered for a moment what would have happened if he'd never lost his memory, would they have gotten over the fight? Would he have given in and let them try for a baby because after all Jenny still meant the world to him? or would it have all crumbled leading to a nasty divorce and perhaps one of them leaving NCIS?
Part of Gibbs was glad that they might never know, maybe they could grow from this like he'd wanted, this might save their marriage or whatever was left of the tatters it was in. He always believed that a marriage was built on two things, love and trust and he felt those two things very strongly for the women laying in the hospital bed, in the end it was all up to her.
"Je…Jeth" Jenny's croaky voice made Gibbs turn on his heels to face her and then come to her side and grab her hand just as her eyes began to flutter open to reveal the emerald orbs he loved so much.
"Jenny, I'm here" He assured her as best he could.
"Jethro" she looked at him with a confused expression, "Wha..What are y…you doing h..ere?" she asked her voice shaky and then she looked down and saw him holding her hand.
"I remember" he told her softly, I remember everything…." He smiled.
"You mean….Us….that we're….Mari…" she began unsure of herself, in case he wasn't saying he remembered that, that he remembered something else.
"We're married" he told her with a nod and smile "On June 1st 2005" he told her the date to show her how good his memory was.
"Are you okay?" Jenny asked noting the bruises on his face, flecks of dried blood and dark circles under his eyes.
"I'm fine" he assured her with an uncharacteristic smile "It's you I'm worried about" he told her, looking at her with those baby blues that made her go weak at the knees.
"I'm fine" she mimicked his answer making him realise how much he really really did love her, she was perfect, perfect for him.
"I thought I'd lost you" He admitted before reaching down to kiss her but she stopped him by putting her hand on his lips.
"What are you doing?" She asked him.
"Can't a guy kiss his wife after she almost dies in his arms?" he asked her, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion.
"We can't just go right where we left off" she told him "We should be together" she added "You don't want me Jethro, you want Shannon and I can't be her" she said before closing her eyes.
"I don't I just want you Jen" he gripped her hand tighter to show her he meant it "I've always wanted you" he added.
Jenny's green eyes finally met his blue "I…We had so many fights, you don't remember them, we had big fights" she told him.
"Everyone fights Jen and if you want a baby, then we can try for one" he told her, remembering the biggest fight they'd had.
"Jethro" Jenny started warily "Don't say something like that if you don't want it too"
"I want nothing more than to settle down with you, a little girl just like you would be just a bonus to what we already have together" he explained.
Jenny smiled at him, finally she'd got him back,there was a glimmer of hope amidst an ocean of darkness. "Okay, but…." She warned him "We start slow, we communicate more and you tell me about Shannon and Kelly"
"Shannon and Kelly?" Gibbs asked her unsure if she really mean it.
"their part of you, I want know about it" she told him and Gibbs nodded "So Mr Shepard, when are you getting me out of here?" she asked him, his only reply was to chuckle.
TBC…
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