Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal alchemist.
A/N: Please leave review and let me know how it is.
Angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone
*~Chapter Seven~*
"Auntie Ri-Ri!
Hawkeye turned to the little girl with a small stern smile on her face but it didn't deter the girl from running to up her and jumping into her arms. Riza almost fell over but quickly regained her balance although Kelsey seemed to think it was funny. She laughed and Riza smiled a real smile finally making Kelsey beam.
"I wuv ou Ri-Ri." She smiled; her little face was so adorable especially when she looked clueless. Her eyes were wide with childlike wonder and Hawkeye found it hard that she was related to Mustang. Whilst he had once been an innocent child much like Kelsey, this girl didn't think about herself at all it seemed until everyone around her were happy. Or maybe she was much more like Mustang than she thought.
"I love you too Kay Kay."
She beamed at her nickname turning back to see Roy with an interesting smirk playing on his lips. Kelsey held out her arms and quickly clambered back to him. He held onto her until she was adjusted and then she threw her arms around his neck and placed a kiss on his lips.
"I kiss dada."
"Yes you did. How old are you Kelsey?"
She looked up with her little eyebrows scrunched together before smiling and holding up one finger and half of a second one.
"I one and half year old."
Hawkeye handed Kelsey her sipper cup and Kelsey was set down on the floor. She smiled before going over to the couch and sitting there to drink her juice. The woman then turned to Mustang with a courteous smile seeing as how Kelsey was now entertained for a little bit before she would go back to what she did best.
"You sure seem busier now that Kelsey has been talking more. Remember when she kept you up at night?"
"Yeah but that was when the only thing she could do was wail to let me know that she needed something. Don't get me wrong, she was a good baby."
Hawkeye just rolled her eyes.
"You act like she has me wrapped around her little finger-"
"She does sir. You just don't know it yet."
He just smiled.
"You act like she doesn't have you nor the others wrapped around her little finger as well."
Hawkeye shook her head but didn't deny it. Kelsey was able to somehow get her to do things she didn't think she would be doing. Looking over, she saw that Kelsey had put the sipper cup on the coffee table and was now laughing and pointing at the puppy outside.
"Doggy. I want."
Hawkeye smiled.
"Maybe someday your dada could get you a dog."
Roy just groaned before finally seeming to see the time for the first time. He really had to go now. Stupid collaterals, he thought before leaning in to give her another kiss.
"Bye bye baby, I love you."
"Bye, I wuv ou too."
Hawkeye smiled at the genuine happiness a little girl had for her own daddy. It made her wish that her own dad had been like that whilst she was growing up. Roy was lucky to have her in his life but she was lucky to him in hers. Not every girl had a father that would love her like Roy had.
She just didn't like it whenever he had to leave for short periods of time.
Hawkeye didn't see the need in remembering stuff from way back then because it always left her sad. She was a silly, mischievous little girl with a good father that loved her to death and Hawkeye had grown up with a father that had pushed her away because of the death of her mother. In the end, it was Kelsey that suffered because she wasn't here anymore. Hawkeye would never see that mischievous smile when she did something and then smiled that smile knowing they wouldn't notice right away. She never did anything bad though. Nor would she hear the fond way she said "Auntie Ri-Ri".
She knew that the others had a few choice memories and the thing was that they always popped up around the anniversary of her death and her birthday. Kelsey represented what they had found when she had come along and this void came to represent what was now missing. She would never come back and it was unfair that she had to die. She wanted to help Mustang but she knew that they were hurt by her death as well. She was almost happy Ed was here although she knew that it wouldn't stop Mustang from breaking down if he remembered this. They were living the best they could when she was no longer a part of their life, whilst Mustang couldn't cope. He hadn't coped well at all. He didn't eat, sleep, nor would he move. That's when they found out about the mental shock.
She supposed that Ed should know but she didn't want the kid to feel like he had to just to owe the man. What would he do? He wouldn't act normal around him either anymore. She knew that Havoc told him a small portion of what went on and found herself partially upset. Of course he was just as upset as well. Everyone who remembered her was. Uncles "Fu" "Bway" "Far" and "Ha Ha" were her favorite uncles. She often would say when they tried to ask her though that she loved saying Ha Ha the best cause it was funny. But when they asked her who her favorite person in the world would be, she would tell them that it was her dada because she loved him and he loved her. She was a smart girl for her age and would say that dada had her when he didn't have to and she loved him until her little heart would break.
She wondered idly, was Kelsey happy in heaven? For the first time she wondered idly if she should pray for the little girl to come back but shook her head realizing that they had had her for the time they had and just hoped she was happy wherever she was.
Kelsey you brightened our darkest days from Ishbal, we are really sad that you had to go. Be happy please. She lastly wished that she was in a place better than the state she had been in when she had died.
She had to be because she was in a place where love would never end.
Ed quickly pushed him onto the bed before removing his shoes much to Roy's astonishment. He laughed and Ed couldn't really see what was so funny. He glared and Roy stopped long enough to remove his jacket before he was flung backwards onto the bed. He finally had enough of Ed doing that. He was acting weird all day long.
"What the hell! You need to calm the fuck down Ed and stop trying to do things for me!"
Ed sighed and lay on the other side of the bed. Roy quickly jumped at the fact that he would do that still. He didn't need someone to sleep with him, especially when Ed just complained that he was a blanket hog.
"Ed you don't need to-"
"Go to sleep Colonel Bastard, we have work in the morning." Ed seemed in a bad mood so Roy refrained from telling him that he didn't actually work. Besides he actually felt warm knowing that he wasn't alone. He decided to chance it and snuggled his body next to Ed. Ed seemed to stiffen but didn't fight it so Roy placed his head on his shoulder seeing if he would get a reaction. "What happened to us being on opposite sides Roy?"
So he was Roy again, he mused. He didn't know why he wanted to be so close to him but mused that he felt lonely for a while and didn't realize it until Ed came over here. Sure there had been the girls but he never felt like this. He thought at first it was because he didn't find the right person but he knew it wasn't that now. There was a void that he couldn't explain.
"I will love you until my heart breaks." Ed seemed to jump at that and turned, bumping his nose on his shoulder, looking up to glare at him.
"What the fuck are you going on about?"
"I heard that phrase before. I don't remember where but I can't seem to recall it. Oddly enough I know that it must be important."
Ed listened feeling his own heart beat begin to pick up. He didn't know a thing about Kelsey but he knew that she must've meant a lot to the man. Ed meant a lot to his mother and she didn't even tell her kids that she was sick because she didn't want to worry them. She did everything thinking of them and he could only wonder, did he do the same with Kelsey?
Hesitantly, he just responded by pulling Roy to him and let him rest his head on his shoulder. He seemed surprised but Ed had already adjusted so that he wasn't uncomfortable by this position. Roy wondered if he honestly was going to let him lay this way all night. He knew that questioning the irate blonde wouldn't be wise so he just closed his eyes planning on drifting off. He was fine and there was nothing to worry about. He told himself that so why did he not feel it?
"Kelsey is tired right?"
The little girl shook her head, holding her hand up to put a finger to her lips before pointing to her doll which was under her baby blanket.
"Beebee sweeping."
He smiled.
"What do you want for your birthday little girl?" She looked thoughtful for a second before her eyes lit up. She went over and gave him a hug and pecked him on the lips. He laughed hoping that was not all she wanted because she needed to be a little more selfish. He would look bad if not.
"I wanta wuv ou ontil me heart bweaks." Whatever Roy was hoping to hear it hadn't been that. He paused seeing that she looked serious while pulling at her bed head golden brown hair. Her pajamas were rumpled from hours of sleep but she seemed more serious than ever.
"Baby I know that you will love me until your heart breaks. You don't need to have that for your birthday, think you're gonna be two. What about a dog?"
She just leant forward, holding tightly onto him until he stopped questioning her.
"I wanta wuv ou ontil me heart bweaks," she repeated.
He finally nodded. He didn't know why she would want that but smiling, he placed a kiss on her forehead seeing as how she was truly amazing. Her big green eyes were alit with happiness when he said that it was okay. She got up and got her dolly before coming back and laying into him, her thumb in her mouth. He doubted he would have the heart to tell her not to suck her thumb but she hardly did a selfish thing. Maybe she would grow out of it on her own though.
"Kelsey, I love you too." When she looked over he added, "I love you until my heart breaks."
She nodded and laid her head onto his shoulder before slowly closing her eyes. He smiled and lifted her up to his bedroom and laid her onto his bed. She remained asleep and checking his watch, he knew that he didn't have to be at work tomorrow since he had taken off for her birthday; he decided to take a nap as well.
"I'll love you until my heart breaks baby. That's a promise."
With that he closed his eyes with a tiny smile knowing she would be there right where she was when he woke up.
Roy woke up in confusion hoping to see the little girl but noticed it was Edward. Scooting back, he let out a loud painful scream before falling back against the headboard and holding his head in his hands. He drew his knees up and let out another painful groan as his headache started to get worse than ever before. Ed woke up in panic and seeing Roy, he tried to talk to him.
"Come on and get back to bed, you're okay."
He mumbled the first thing that came to his mind and Ed was shocked.
"Kelsey."
Ed ran to the phone and decided the best bet would be to call Havoc since he seemed to know what was going on. He quickly explained what was going on all the while hoping that Mustang would snap out of it. To his dismay, Havoc told him to stay there with him and he would be there soon.
"Kelsey." He whispered again, wincing as he felt his body tremble.
Why did such a name bring him so much pain? He couldn't stand it. He started pulling at his hair and rocked back and forth in an effort to get rid of the pain in both his head and chest. What the hell was going on with him? Kelsey was an enigma that he couldn't solve. He had dreams about this little girl and even sometimes he woke up as if expecting her to be right there. Was she supposed to be? He whimpered again feeling that yes, Kelsey should be here. She should be in here and she was not. Maybe she was missing. Kids went missing and he needed to find her. He needed that little girl because she seemed to be the only key to why this kept happening.
"Kelsey."
Ed was happy when Havoc finally knocked and opened the door. To his dismay, Hawkeye was there as well but decided that she knew what was happening too so maybe it was best. He moved to the side and Havoc entered the room. He didn't say anything differently although Ed was shaken up. The man said a few choice words and tried to get him to get out of what he was under. Sighing, he finally turned to Ed.
"I'm giving him something to relax and I want you on the other side so that we could slide him down alright?"
Ed nodded and waited with bated breath while Havoc emptied an injection into the other man's arm. Ed helped once the drug began taking affect to lay the man back, his head against the pillow. Havoc threw the blanket over him before gesturing for the blonde to follow him out of the room. Ed gulped but followed, taking a seat on the couch and wondering if that would happen again. It scared him more than he could possibly say.
"Well there you go. It's the reason I told you he doesn't need to remember her."
Ed surveyed him in shock, nodding in agreement at seeing that.
"But why did he just do that-"
"That was a mild attack Ed. Trust me it gets a lot worse than that." Seeing Ed looking the way he did, Havoc sighed. "That was a tranquilizer left over from a little ways back. It's okay because he should sleep for a little while. I don't think he should work tomorrow though."
Hawkeye nodded in agreement before turning to Ed.
"You didn't tell him anything or leave hints about his daughter, did you?"
Ed shook his head vigorously and she just nodded in understanding. Ed looked over and saw that she wasn't getting enough sleep. Was it because of this little girl? He knew that she died a day before her birthday and Havoc had told him that. It was Thursday according to Hawkeye though. He felt bad for different reasons though. Roy's birthday was fourteen days after his daughter's birthday and ten days after her birthday was Christmas. It had to have been even worse around that time. What more would hurt knowing that she died eleven days before her third Christmas?
"I understand now why he mustn't remember but why hadn't he gotten this way before now? I mean, he was stressed during the whole Homunculi thing and yet he didn't seem to have this problem before-"
"We don't know Ed. During the whole thing with the country, he probably didn't think too much and only wanted the revenge for his friend. When you have something in your mind occupying your thoughts, you don't tend to think about anything else. Of course the fact that he is getting some of his memory back a whole year almost two past the homunculi isn't cause for concern. No the concern is that he is getting something back that caused all types of harm."
"It must have been bad for you guys." Ed looked ahead thinking of how it would be if someone got to forget but he had to remember the face of someone that had been in their lives. It really was bad for Roy but he didn't have to remember her, his mind forced him to forget. These people that had worked for him remembered her every single day and they had memories of her. "I know Mustang is bad but he doesn't remember and you guys do."
Havoc nodded.
"You know she would be turning six had she not died." Ed snapped his attention to the man who for some reason decided to share that little detail. Nothing could trump that. That was sad especially since she was never going to be three let alone the fact that she should have been able to turn six. "You're right in a way Ed. We do have the memories of her whilst Chief can't remember but I think you are wrong about one thing. His mind forced him to forget her because she's not here anymore and he couldn't cope with that. He won't remember the happier times like we could. You really should've met her. She was so funny."
Ed was surprised when Hawkeye was contributing to the conversation.
"Her favorite color was red and when asked why, she said it was the same color as the magic her dada made happen. She had an extensive vocabulary for her age and a lot like Mustang she thought of others without thinking of what she would get out of it. She really was an angel and the sad thing is none of us really wanted her to go."
"Yeah. The day she died we were at work. Kind of hard to see that we couldn't see back then what we knew now. If we could turn back time, we'd change it. She could have lived, she should've. I could tell you everyone's reactions that day but to this day I think I didn't react enough possibly because it was a shock."
Hawkeye picked up where he left off again.
"Breda dropped whatever he was holding that day when they got the call she was in the hospital. Fuery hid his face but we knew that he was crying even without knowing what was going on. Falman was just plain shocked and chose to turn to seeing how Mustang was so that he wouldn't pay attention to his own feelings. After the initial shock warn off, Havoc took him to the hospital but it was too extensive so they had to transfer her to South Bend Hospital. She died five minutes after she arrived. It wouldn't have made a difference if she had been there earlier either. Mustang at first acted like you just saw a few moments ago but it steadily got worse. He didn't want to go to her funeral claiming that his baby was alright but we knew he was just trying to trick his own mind to believe that. He felt guilty too. He felt it was his fault that his little girl was no longer here. I honestly think it was the best thing that happened when he lost his memory despite the fact that it feels so damn bad."
Ed couldn't believe it. He knew it was bad but the way everyone acted, he knew that it was worse than he could ever imagine. Havoc disposed his cigarette into the ashtray that was handy there and quickly pulled a photo from his pocket. Handing it to Ed, he paused just long enough to light another one. Ed saw the little girl and was in shock at the features. She didn't just look like Mustang; she looked like Hughes as well. How could he explain that? He looked over to Havoc who didn't seem surprised. She was pretty though. Green eyes full of light and golden brown hair pulled up into a bow. What got to him was the big childlike smile. That was Mustang's smile. She looked really cute too. This photo looked like it was done in someone's backyard since she was surrounded by rose bushes, all of which were taller than her.
"That was taken two days before she died. The last photo in fact. I'm sorry we're telling you all of this now because you don't need to feel like you owe him anything-"
"You'd think that I would feel that way knowing that? I don't do pity Havoc and you should know that. If it was purely for pity, I wouldn't be helping you guys. I'm helping him with the fugue state problem because he helped me without asking for anything back. God, a two year old! How could a two year old die from an unknown cause? It had to have been a shock-"
"Trust me, we know what it was that killed her and it's not as unknown as you think. That's for another time though. We need to be going and you wouldn't be able to sleep if you knew." He gave him a sad smile before ruffling his hair. "If we let you know, it would just be cruel. Give Al our congratulations on his baby though okay?"
Ed glared knowing that he was kidding. He knew that Ed made that up and couldn't help but glare. Hawkeye sighed before pulling Havoc with her towards the door, giving a small smile before adding in her own words.
"I know that I haven't been the best lately but after-"
"Say no more Hawkeye. I can understand this. Be okay you guys and don't worry about us. I will make sure Mustang is safe."
Hawkeye nodded, leaving with Havoc not too far behind. Ed was happy that he knew them but for some reason, he knew that they were leaving a key component out on purpose. The little girl had died and it wasn't a shock but they never expected it to happen. What more could cause that? He shook his head before deciding it was best to forget that for now. They were right. He probably wouldn't be able to take the information well if they told him tonight. Not after seeing her picture. He realized then that Havoc had forgot it and sighed, telling himself that he would give it to him tomorrow.
Heading back to the bed, he knew what they saw though when they said all those things. She must've been such a mischievous girl, but she also was so innocent. His one thought before drifting off next to Mustang was, how could she have died if she hadn't been meant to?
