Author's Note: Since this one may not be obvious, there's an extended version of "Reindeer(s) are better than people" on the outtakes list. Look that one up as well. Also, if you haven't watched Riders of Berk, that's where I found Trader Johann.


Within an hour, Hiccup and Rapunzel had mounted their horses and rode after Jack. It was difficult getting two giant well-bred stallions through the chaotic panic of the town. Hiccup pushed his chestnut Stoick to the front and led the way, Rapunzel and her white horse Maximus following. They had nearly reached the edge of town when Hiccup saw Astrid running through the streets from the corner of his eye. Her hair was disheveled and she had traded in her heels for some too big boots, but had evidently forgotten a coat. She didn't seem to notice, though. She was sprinting full out as if a wild animal was after her.

"Astrid!" he called.

Either she didn't hear or she didn't care. Hiccup started to turn Stoick to follow her, but Rapunzel stopped him.

"She looked like she was in the middle of something," she pointed out. "Leave her be, I think she can take care of herself. We've wasted enough time as it is."

Sighing, Hiccup resolved to ask her about it later and kept going. The snow was thick, but their horses were strong. They plowed on through the night, their riders sleeping in shifts. Hardly a word was spoken between the two cousins, even when the sun rose and they couldn't sleep in the stiff saddles. Twice they stopped to eat and rest, but all they had been able to take with them was half frozen bread and some carrots, which were quickly devoured by the horses. The deeper into the mountains they got, the tougher the going was. Eventually, even Rapunzel's feet were dragging through the powdered snow, and the horses were struggling.

"What should we do?" Hiccup asked.

"We could turn around," Rapunzel suggested half-heartedly. "We could get more supplies and maybe a more experienced team of mountain men to help us get through."

Hiccup shook his head determinedly. "I'm not going back without my brother."

"Let's go a little farther then," Rapunzel agreed, not wanting to argue.

An hour later, they crested the hill and were greeted by the warm sign of smoke just ahead. Relieved, they made their way toward it. They reached "Johann and Oaken's Trading Post and Sauna" by nightfall and took refuge inside.

"Yoo-hoo!" A large man in a brightly knitted sweater waved at them from behind the counter. "Welcome to Oaken's Sauna. Big summer blowout! Everything is half off!"

"Oaken, we agreed!" a skinny man with dark hair was rearranging the shelves, dressed more simply. "This is MY shop, too, you have to say the full name. It's Johann and Oaken's Trading Post and Sauna."

"Mmm," Oaken mused. "That's no good. It does not roll off the tongue."

Johann sighed and turned to their customers. "We will talk about this later, brother. Welcome anyway! What can we do for you?"

"We just came to get warm," Rapunzel said.

"And have a place for the night," Hiccup added.

"We have a sauna!" Oaken said cheerily.

"And a barn in the back," Johann said. "Perhaps you're interested in these rare artifacts from..."

"Actually," Hiccup interrupted. "We're on a very important royal mission. Has anyone been through here recently, the king perhaps?"

"The king, you say?" Johann asked, scratching his head in disbelief. "I don't think I would recognize him even if he was here."

"The only ones crazy enough to be out in this storm are you two," Oaken added.

Just then the door blew open, and a figure hurried in and slammed the door shut behind them. Between the thick layers wrapped around her body and the snow caked nearly an inch thick, all they could see of the girl were her fierce blue eyes and a mess of frozen, curly hair sticking out in all directions.

"Well, you and this lass," Oaken amended. "Yoo-hoo! Big summer blowout!"

"Where's your winter department?" The girl panted with a slight Scottish accent.

"The very small corner over here," Johann said with a sigh. "I'm afraid we don't have much. We were very unprepared for this season, given that it came six months early."

"Ah'll take whatever you've got," the girl said, picking up a rope and ice pick. "Now, do you have any fish?"

"Fish? Ah, yes. Right over here. How many do you need?"

"A dozen, at least."

Johann nodded and began counting.

"So, where have you come from, my dear?" Oaken asked.

"The North Mountain," she said shortly.

"The North Mountain?" Hiccup asked. "By any chance, did that seem magical to you? I mean, more magical then the rest of the magic snow that's fallen in the middle of summer?"

"Yes," she said, placing her goods on the counter and ignoring him.

"That'll be forty," Oaken said.

"Forty?" she exclaimed, pulling down the scarf that had covered her face. "But I only have ten!"

"Well, you see, we have a bit of supply and demand problem here," Johann said. "And our normal customers can't even make it up here now."

"If yew want to talk aboot supply an' demand, then try running an ice business!" she yelled, glaring at them all. Her eyes met Rapunzel's but she quickly looked away. "Now, what'll get get me?"

"Mmm, two fish and a night in the barn," Johann said.

"And if you're nice, you can visit the Sauna!" Oaken threw in.

"Fine," she growled, throwing her money on the table and taking the two fish.

She left angrily, slamming the door behind her. Rapunzel watched curiously, then stepped up to the counter.

"I'll buy those," she said.

"Really, why?" Hiccup asked.

Rapunzel didn't answer and Oaken didn't argue. She smiled her thanks and left, Hiccup following.

"I know that her. Her name is Merida, and I think she could help us," Rapunzel explained quietly when they were out of hearing of the two brothers. "But only if we bring the right impression. Let me do the talking, ok?"

"How do you know her?" Hiccup asked, incredulous. "I thought you spent all your time with other princesses."

"She is a princess. Or at least she was."

"Wait, please tell me she's not a runaway royal, too?"

"It's looking likely. But don't mention it. She's got a bit of a temper as I'm sure you noticed. But she's really nice once you get to know her."

Without arguing, Hiccup led their horses to the barn. It seemed like Merida wasn't very angry anymore, if her loud off key singing was any indication. Rapunzel gestured that they should wait until the song ended, but Hiccup couldn't help peering through the cracks. He gasped, which was fortunately covered by the singing. Inside, curled protectively around Merida, was a large black dragon.

"Oh, dragons are better than people," she was singing.

Toothless don't you think that's true?

"Yeah people will beat you and curse you and cheat you," she sang, dropping her voice to imitate the dragon.

Everyone of them's had except you.

Nananananana nanananananana nananananananana dragons!

Nananananana nanananananana nananananananana dragons!

Nananananana dragons!

"People smell better than dragons.

Toothless, don't you think I'm right?

"That's once again true, for all except you!

"You got me, let's call it a night

"Goodnight!

"Don't let the frostbite...

You may think I'm ragged and rural,

But I don't need a crown or a castle,

Ones a headache, one is a hassle

I only need a sled and my dragon!

Yes, dragons are better than people..."

Rapunzel applauded and entered the barn. Merida sighed and set down her mandola while Toothless looked up curiously.

"Hello, Rapunzel. I hoped you wouldn't recognize me."

"Not even all the snow in the world could hide our hair," she said with a smile. "It's good to see you again. By the way, this is my cousin, Hiccup."

Merida snorted but quickly recovered herself. "Pleased to meet you. If you've come to drag me back to that ancient kingdom of mine, then you might as well know that I intend to fight every step of the way."

"We won't take you back," Rapunzel promised, settling into a hay stack.

"Sorry to interrupt," Hiccup said. "But you have a DRAGON. Where did you get a dragon? Can I see him?"

Merida shifted uncomfortably, looking from Toothless to Hiccup. Happy to get some attention, Toothless stood on his own accord and made his way to Hiccup, who immediately ran his hands over the rough scale.

"This is Toothless," Merida said. "I found him the first time I ran away, when I was forced to take shelter on Berk. We've been together ever since, and he helped me escape for good a few months ago."

"So you came here and started an ice business?" Rapunzel asked politely. "That's nice."

"Until my brother made the winter," Hiccup added.

Merida glared at him. "Oh, so that was your brother that did this?"

"The king, yes," Rapunzel said firmly. "And he's run off. We're trying to find him."

"Ha! Good luck on that suicide mission."

"Well, actually we were hoping you would join us."

"Me?"

"Your sled would get us farther and faster than our two horses," Rapunzel said.

"And what's in it for me other than a potential death sentence?" Merida asked.

"The end of winter, a new sled, and this," Rapunzel said, tossing her the rope.

"Ah don't need a new sled, mine's perfectly fine, thanks," Merida said. "We'll leave in the morning."

"We need to leave tonight," Hiccup said, playing with Toothless and feeding him some of the fish. "We've already lost enough time today."

Merida watched Toothless play with Hiccup, while the boy studied his retracting teeth in awe. Finally, she spoke up again.

"Alright, Ah'll take ye. Just help me get this ice off the sled, Toothless." Toothless quickly melted the ice with a fire ball, and slipped into the harness. "Climb on up, let's get started."

"Really?" Rapunzel asked.

"It's an adventure, yew know Ah can never resist that."


"So, how did you all meet?" Hiccup asked, trying to break the silence.

Toothless had been running across the snow for nearly an hour now, pulling the sled smoothly. The two girls, sitting up front, had barely spoken to each other and completely ignored him, nestled in the back with the supplies..

"It was that time I went to Corona for the week," Rapunzel said.

"Which time?" he asked dryly.

"The one where princesses came from all over to have a sleepover," she said.

"Aye, and me mum forced me to go," Merida said. "So Ah sat in the corner trying not to look interested. 'Course for 'er mah hair was interestin' enough."

"I thought it was magical," Rapunzel confessed. "I was young! Magic ran in the family."

"Except for me, it seems," Hiccup muttered.

"Hey, my parents don't have magic," Rapunzel pointed out. But Hiccup shrugged, still not sure what he thought about this.

"So," Merida cut in. "What made the king go all Ice crazy?"

"Kind of me," Hiccup said, still mellow. Then he perked up. "I had just gotten engaged..."

"Oh, really?" Merida laughed. "To who? You didn't exactly get out much. Did you have a pen pal?"

"No, he met her the other day," Rapunzel said. "Like, the day he proposed."

"You did wha'?" Merida said, shocked. "You don't even know 'er!"

"I know her better than you two do," Hiccup said, outraged. "Rapunzel, you never even talked to her!"

"Yeah, don't you think you should have introduced her to the rest of the family before proposing? Come on, Hiccup, she's a complete stranger!"

"Astrid is no stranger," Hiccup said firmly.

"Oh yeah?" Merida asked. "What's her last name?"

"Hofferson Tribe of Berk."

"What's her favorite food?" Rapunzel asked.

"Sandwhiches."

"Best friend's name?" Merida put in.

"Probably Heather…"

"Eye color," Rapunzel sighed, thinking of Eugene.

"Dreamy crystal blue."

"Foot size!" Merida yelled excitedly.

"Foot size doesn't matter," Hiccup said.

"Ha! Shows what yew know," Merida said. "You've never met any princesses beside your cousin, have yew?"

"Have you even had a meal with her yet?" Rapunzel asked. "What if you don't like the way he eats?"

"She's a princess," Hiccup said.

"So was Ah, and Ah never learned enough manners to impress mah mother."

"It doesn't matter, it's true love!" Hiccup said. He sighed. "Ugh, this is what got this kingdom into this mess in the first place!"

Before the girls could reply, Toothless slowed down and his ears perked up like a dog's. Merida gestured for them to be quiet and looked around. Suddenly, they spotted glowing yellow eyes behind them and Toothless shot out blasts of blue fire. A pack of wolves burst out of the trees and charged.

"Run, Toothless!" Merida yelled.

"What do we do?" Rapunzel asked.

"Don't worry, Ah got this," she said, pulling out a sword. "Don't fall off and don't get eaten."

"But I want to help!"

"Then drive!" she yelled, throwing the reins in her lap and leaping to the back, where Hiccup was riding.

"Do you have another sword?" Hiccup asked.

"Yeah, but Ah wouldn't trust yew with it!" she said, slicing down a wolf that nearly jumped onto the sled.

"Why not?"

"Because Ah don't trust your judgement."

"What?"

"Who marries a girl they just met? Ah don't want to get married period!"

Hiccup picked up the mandola and swung it at a wolf, breaking it. "It's true love!" he screamed.

"Hey, I loved that mandala!"

"You need to get your priorities sorted!"

Merida looked like she was about to fire back another insult when the sled hit a bump and she fell off, grabbing the rope as she went. Hiccup lunged down at the rope to keep it from flying off completely. Merida screamed as she was dragged through the snow; the wolves were gaining and nearly on top of her.

"Hang on!" Hiccup cried, trying to pull in the rope.

It was taking too long and he needed to buy some more time. Quickly, he tied the rope down and grabbed the torch, lighting one of the sleeping bags on fire. One of the wolves grabbed her leg and she screamed.

"Duck!" Hiccup yelled, throwing the flaming bag as hard as he could.

"You almost set me on fire!" Merida screamed at him as she climbed up the rope.

Hiccup pulled her the rest of the way on. "But I didn't!" he said optimistically.

"Guys!" Rapunzel shrieked. "Gorge ahead!"

"Get on the dragon!" Merida ordered, shoving the supplies at Hiccup.

He and Rapunzel jumped onto Toothless' back and Merida held her sword up high, ready to cut him free of the harness. Toothless roared in anguish.

"Don't worry, Toothless," she yelled as calmly as she could. "You can glide across that easy enough."

"Wait, he can't fly?" Hiccup and Rapunzel asked simultaneously.

"He'll be fine," Merida assured them. "Jump, Toothless, jump!"

She sliced through the thick leather ropes a second before Toothless jumped across the chasm, spreading his wings out to catch the wind. Merida crouched on the seat, and kept her eyes locked on the other side. Toothless landed on the slope and scrambled up to safety, but she could already feel the sled dropping. She stood and jumped, arms flailing as she reached out for the snowy cliff. Her hands hit the snow but there was nothing solid to grab onto. As she heard the sled explode beneath her, Merida knew that she was about to die with it. Then a thick lock of golden hair appeared in front of her.

"Grab on!" Rapunzel yelled.

Merida needed no other prompting. Together, Hiccup and Rapunzel hoisted her to safety, where she lay panting in the snow. Toothless nudged her to make sure she was alright.

"How's your foot?" Rapunzel gasped.

"I think it just got the boot," she said, breathing hard.

"You don't have to come with us if you've changed your mind," Rapunzel said quietly. "This may be more than you bargained for."

"Nah, Ah've come too far ta turn back now." Slowly, she sat up and carefully peered into the gorge. "Besides, Ah've got to take yew up on that new sled offer."


AN: I know a lot of people have been asking me for Merricup, and I thought about this a lot, but...I didn't exactly follow the plot of Frozen in terms of character arcs/back stories. Anna's love story was not the point of Frozen, so neither is Hiccup's. I've already come up with an ending that I like, and I think you'll like it too. (Hopefully.)