Nikki glided through her front door the next day, searching through her handbag, after spending the day shopping with Sally and her sister-in-law, Kylie.

"Josh," she called out.

"Hey you," he greeted "What'cha looking for?" he asked, kissing her as when she looked up at him.

"Nothing important. There's stuff in the car if you could get it out please?"

Josh nodded and headed out, in the meantime, Nikki headed to her bedroom to get into something more comfortable.

'3, 2, 1…' Nikki silently counted down in her head.

"Nikki!" Josh shouted, coming back into the house with too many bags "What is all this?"

"Shopping!" she replied, plastering a sweet smile on her face.

"Did you kill our credit card?"

"May be? But it's all very important. Which reminds me, I need bigger whites,"

"All of it? Do you need all of it?" he asked incredulously.

"Yeah…everything! It's all for Button." Since they didn't know whether the baby was a girl or boy, they didn't want to call her or him it, so Josh came up with the nickname Button.

"All of it," he repeated "Even this?" he asked, pulling out a blue dress.

"Technically…my clothes are starting to feel a bit snug," she whimpered, hand resting lightly on her tummy.

Josh couldn't believe the change in her emotions. Sweet to crying in 0.2 seconds. What to do? How fast everything was going.

"Aww…Nikki, come here, " placing the bags down and pulling her into a hug. "Now you head into the living room and have a rest, I'll put this in the spare room," gently pushing her towards the living room.

Rushing back towards Nikki, Josh smiled hoping his plan would work. Passing the kitchen he grabbed a basket. Sliding along the floor, he found Nikki asleep on the couch. Quickly he drew the curtains, the sun was nearly down, giving the living room a nice glow. After laying a blanket down on the floor, he spread out the food. Taking Swain's advice Josh had kept it simple. Lighting some candles on the mantle, he turned on some music. Michael Bublé came on.

'Perfect,' he thought 'Just like that night.'

"Nikki," he whispered into Nikki's ear, tenderly trying to wake. "Bub?" shaking her softly.

"Mmm…" came Nikki's muffled reply. "Sleep"

Josh was in two minds about waking her, one of she needs her sleep, but the other they needed to talk and he had been postponing this and she would be going back to work in a few days and he too would be back out to sea.

"Nikki," he insisted.

Helping her up into a sitting position, Nikki's mouth dropped at the sight before her.

"Déjà vu," she whispered. "What's this for?" she asked "Proposing again?"

"No, but you need some pampering Bub. And here I am at your service," helping her down into a sitting position on the floor "Comfortable?"

"Very," she replied, snuggling back into Josh. "Perfect, what did I do to deserve you?" she asked tilting her head back up towards him, leaning up for a kiss.

"You mean, what did I do?"

"So what do we have here?"

"Simple foods. Sandwiches with cheese. Cracker biscuits with dip if you can handle it. Ummm…Ginger tea. No coffee! And fruit salad for dessert."

"Mmm," Nikki replied licking her lips.

After finishing their meal, the two sat in a comfortable silence. It had been a while since they had been comfortable, but even still they was a tension that hung in the air. Moving the dishes to one side, Josh pulled Nikki closer. Moondance started to play softly in the background. Nikki turned to Josh, a smile adoring her face, remembering their wedding night.

"Dance?" she asked.

Helping her up, he held her protectively as they swayed to the music. 'This was it,' thought Nikki 'It's now or never.'

"Josh?" looking up at him, gazing into the blue orbs she fell in love with, reaching a hand up to his blond locks. "Josh, we need to talk"

"This can't be good," he joked.

Nikki pulled away from him, Josh went to grab her arms.

"Nikki, I'm sorry. I'm a muppet," turning her around, towards him, trying to make her smile. "Hey, hey, what's wrong bub?" as tears started to well in Nikki's eyes.

"Josh…It's just…it's just," she started sob.

"Hey, hey, hey," he whispered, gently lowering the two of them to the ground. "Take your time, it's just me," he reassured.

"It's just…it's everything Josh…I don't know where to start…" she blubbered.

"At the beginning," he murmured, running a hand through her long hair. "Take your time," placing a kiss on the crown of her head.

"I don't know if I can do this"

"Do what? A baby?"

She nodded, her tears falling faster and harder.

"Nikki," he turned her so she was facing him, wiping away the tears "You're the strongest woman I know Bub and you can do this. I know you can, you just need to believe in yourself."

"I can't Josh…I'm scared…so scared. I can't do this alone. And I just don't know what I'm feeling…I'm scared I'm going to be alone…I don't even know who I am anymore…"

"Nikki, you're not alone. You'll never be alone. I'm here, Sally's here, our family is here and the crew are only a phone call away. It's going to be okay, it might not seem like it now, but it will."

"How do you know that Josh. You're not here every night when I come home, you're still out there," Nikki stated her emotions on a rollercoaster.

Josh tried to stay calm, knowing that her feelings would be all over the place. But he still felt an enormous amount of guilt.

"Nikki, I'll take a shore posting. If that's what it takes, I want to be here for you and our baby. You need me here."

"Josh, you can't do that. There's so much more out there, out on the sea for you. Promotion, learning experiences, everything that you're not going to get if you are here on land."

"I've got my promotion. At the end of the month, I'll officially be Petty Officer Holiday. I'll cope with a shore posting."

At the news, Nikki squealed and flung her arms around his neck, kissing him. The tears were gone.

"I'm so proud of you baby. Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Oh Nikki, there's so much going on, I was waiting for the right time. Things needed to okay with you first. You will always come first in my life."

Nikki smiled, her fears were slowly disappearing. Everything wasn't right yet, but at least Josh and her were talking.

"This doesn't change anything, you can't take a shore posting. We made a decision a while ago, that this situation would work for us. We would make it work."

"Nikki! We could have made things work before, but now things have changed, so if you want me here, you just say the word."

"Josh I can't ask you to give up your life."

"I'd give up everything for you, Nikki Holiday," leaning down to kiss her.

Nikki leant into the kiss, deepening it, remembering why she loved him. He'd move heaven and earth for her.

"This is everything I wanted, Josh. I've got an amazing husband, a baby on the way and may be one day, who knows I might just be back out there at sea…"

Both sat in a contemplative silence.

"Josh? I'm still scared…I'm scared I'm going to ended up a single mother. That something's going to happen to you, and I'm going to be alone. What if that happens? I can't do it," Nikki howled, the tears starting again. "What if I'm a bad mother, what if, what if I lose you?"

"Nikki…Hey listen to me, look at me Bub, I promise you'll never lose me. I'm going to be there for you, for both of you," sliding his hand over her growing stomach.

Nikki sniffled, trying to calm down. Josh grazed his thumb over one of the many tear trails on Nikki's face.

"It's going to be okay, you've got to believe that. We can do anything together," he assured her "You've just got to talk about it."

Josh believed they had only scratched the surface of what was really going on in Nikki's mind. He could tell by the way she was acting, but at least she had started to talk. Not everything was okay yet, but it would be. She would talk when she was ready.

'I'll talk to Swain when we board again,' Josh told himself.

Placing her hand over Josh's bigger one, she giggled slightly, feeling much better. "So what do you think Button is going to look like? I vote for your eyes and hair," she commented

"Hmm," he ummed thoughtfully "No, your eyes, they are the most gorgeous shade of green," he complemented.

"Are you trying to get in my good books Mr. Holiday?" she teased.

"I might be. Is it working?" he replied

"May be," she said, snuggling back into him. "So are you ready to meet our little Button?"

"Tomorrow, wouldn't miss it for the world."

Nikki yawned, trying to hide it.

"Come on you, off to bed," he ordered, standing up.

"But, but it's still early. It's only six o'clock," she protested.

"That doesn't matter, come on off you go. Sleep."

Following her into the bedroom, Josh pulled down the covers as Nikki got ready for bed.

"Hey," Josh commented, turning around to find Nikki in his clothes. "That's my shirt, hands off."

"Comfy!"

"But!"

"Who's fault is it that I'm in need of your clothes," she teased

"Hey, it takes two to tango…and other things," he shot back.

"Comfy…my new clothes aren't here."

"Well…" he sighed. "You do look cute in them," helping her into bed. "Now sleep."

Nikki's eyes had already started to droop, sleep taking over.

"Night baby. I love you," she said sleepily.

"I love you too," he lovingly replied, kissing her temple and smoothing her hair back. "Both of you. Sleep tight Button," placing a kissing on her tummy leaving his hand lingering there for a moment.

Glancing back over his shoulder he sighed. 'Everything would be alright,' he told himself. They were starting to get back on track.

~*~*~

What do we all think? Did I get it right? What people hoped for?
Em