Title: Like Home

Location: Venice Beach, CA Preach's Home

Date: Jan 1st 2016

P O V: Jaz Khan

"Today is perfection just what the doctor ordered"

Tops passed the water bottle back as he made the comment he wasn't kidding though. The weather was perfect 98 degrees the sun was shining so brightly it hurt to even look at the direction. Breeze blowing in from the ocean thirty-five feet away salty yet sweet filling my lungs with much needed relaxation.

Birds chipped above us perched on power lines closer to our level. Preach's two dogs barked a welsh corgi mixed with a Labrador Retriever named Riser. She was barking like crazy Hallie whistled for her holding a treat which Riser seemed to think about before rushing over tail wagging.

Their other dog Jazzmania is a jackaranian a Pomeranian with a Jack Russell. I love how they named her after me. Makes me feel warm and fussy no one ever thought I was special enough to name anything after. It didn't hurt that Jazzmania was adorable huge caramel eyes floppy ears all which she knew how to work when she leaped up on my legs tongue hanging out giving me a little whine as she tilted her head so her eyes were staring right into my own caramel eyes. Her sandy body was so little I could scoop her up into one arm.

"Heaven" Patricia added handing me a towel to wipe my forehead smiling my thanks to her taking a deep breath enjoying the sweet air. Everyone was taking time to enjoy the much needed break Preach with his girls snapping selfies. Mcg and Hannah grabbing cold beers sitting on the hood of Preach's Shelby Cobra 427 Super Snake. Gia headed over to help TQ who was flipping burgers and hot dogs on the side of the patio.

Noah was fooling around with my ipod currently attached to speakers blasting out music. Preach lives in Venice Beach California. His home is breathtaking a combination of beautiful detailed wood finishes stones and hand troweled plaster all golden hallmarks sitting right on the beach. Rich golden sand stretched out for miles beyond what the eye could see. Each inch nearly covered with Holiday tourists kids playing volleyball running and falling laughing as the sun baked their complexions. Dogs barking chasing balls and freebies, surfers hanging tight to the luscious blue/green waves.

"EJ would of loved this" Leaning back against one of the stone pillars. I let out a long sigh listening to everyone as I closed my eyes. McG's voice filtered through my sun drenched brain. "It's like god himself saw we were suffering for too long, so he decided to dial up mother nature"

My breathing got heavier as I opened my eyes seeing a young boy chase his dog. Laughing throwing a tennis ball the boy's blond hair glistened in the sun as he turned I could see his gorgeous blue eyes.

I wondered if that's how Adam's son would look like one day. I didn't need to hear Preach to know what he meant. Elijah's voice echoed in my head. "He dialed up mother nature and said bitch these soldiers need a break"

The image of Elijah running besides me snapping pictures laughing burned in my memory. He was more coordinated than any of us he wouldn't trip like McG he had grace, style, skills. I would throw my hands up trying to block. Both of us would end up tangled in a fit of laughter.

"Now laughing friends deride / tears I can not hide / Oh, so I smile and say / When a lovely flame dies / smoke gets in your eyes."

Lyrics of a song EJ and I had danced to flickered through my i-pod. Everyone else would already be asleep when we would sneak out of the hut and dance under the moonlight of the Turkish night sky. EJ a trained dancer would hold my waist so delicately it would bring tears to my eyes.

I would kill for five more minutes with EJ throwing my empty beer bottle in the trash I grabbed another one. Heading away from the group it was too close for me my throat was burning from unshed tears logging it.

"We can't stay long sis, we just came to say hello"

My brother's voice skated through my mind was I that dehydrated? Too much beer? The combo of both with no food. Opening my eyes I hear myself gasp. Nope he's still there his custom embroiled basketball gold spinning on his finger. That cocky grin plastered across his young face.

Aaqil Ja'far Saadiq Khan just 13 years old even at 13 he was a handsome little man driven with goals for his future already well on their way to coming true. He knew he was cute he told himself everyday while checking himself out in the mirror.

His soft Caramel eyes those tight cornrows always dressed in the latest fashions even though we couldn't afford them, Aaqil always found a way to buy them he never stole he was honest and hard working from the time he was really young he would find odd jobs to do around the neighborhood.

He never let circumstances stop him even now no longer part of this world he found a way to come to me to look out for me. Even from heaven. "Why can't you stay?" My voice was tight with tears soft from the intensity of the pain. Pain which no matter how much time has passed has never gone away. The fucked up part of it is that no matter how much more time will pass, this pain will never go away.

Looking at him as he was in life full of passion energy, humor. I remembered my days of our youth spent on the hot black asphalt under the hot summer NYC sun. Inside the broken chain link fence shooting balls towards the bullet riding backdrop. Aaqil loved the game so much he was popular among the neighborhood boys. All the little hoomies use to look up to him waiting for him after school so he could teach them all how to play the game he loved so much. Most didn't have fathers or positive roles models in their lives. Aaqil and I weren't any different my dad hated me from the second I was born a girl. He lost Aaqil's love the second he figured out that our dad's hitting me verbals abusing me wasn't normal.

Aaqil never minded being a role model he loved knowing he could make a difference in a kid's life. So he took it seriously never touching drugs or alcohol. He worked hard everyday at perfecting his game at earning money. Everyday we got up at four am and went for a run around Central Park for an hour than we would go into one of the courts and practice for two hours with two of our closets buddies. Hamilton "Ham" Saxton and Kennocha O'Chechen. Rain sleet snow extreme heat nothing stopped us. We would practice till the minute before we had to school Aaqil was the captain of our middle school basketball team.

"I need you Bro' you don't even know"

"I do know sis big bro always knows"

I don't know what to do Aaqil, I want him, I know I shouldn't but I do so bad"

"Jaz you you've always been a wild flaming heart, you've always gone down your own path remember what I told you when you told me you had a crush on Ham?"

Smiling at the memory of the game we use to play back then kids just enjoying the game the nyc sky brightly lit sun slowly rising from behind the buildings. He was 12. I was 11 it was Sunday Morning most of the kids were in Sunday School/ Church or asleep so it was just the four of us.

"This is called Hit or Tell"

The object was that for every shoot we missed we had to tell a secret. "Aw missed can't say I am shocked lil sis that was an impossible shot only the best can make it, ya know like your bro over here haha. Now spill Jaz"

"How was I suppose to get that shot?" I pointed to the fact we were half court I was 11 and too damn short to even throw half court from half court.

"Life ain't fair sis so spill"

"Promise you won't go crazy"

"Sis you know I always got you we're blood it's that thick"

Swoosh he sailed the ball through the net "Oh it's that serious?" "Al'right I think I might like Ham"

I waited expecting him to go crazy like my friend Tanshia's brother Mikal did when she told him she liked his best friend Jai. Mikal is serving 10 years for assault and battery.

Instead he passed me the ball giving me tips on how to hold it close with one arm while blocking with the other.

Go for it Jaz Ham's a good dude smart mature educated culturally diverse. He likes school he's ambitious he respects girls. If he likes you back and he will because he has amazing taste and you my little sis are an amazing person, than go for it, If he hurts you I'll destroy him"

Looking up I saw him wink at me just like he did back then. "Time slips by too fast I had so much to do Jaz. I didn't expect to not get the chance to grow up. You have to do it for the both of us. Live, Laugh Love you deserve it Jaz. Preach is right connection like this it's rare it's beautiful and it shouldn't be ignored"

Gasping I felt my mouth drop open Aaqil grinned his ball spinning on his finger tip. "Told ya big Bro is always watching, By the way EJ told me to tell you that you still owe him, hell ya owe me to Sis, I mean I did die protecting your lame ass" He winked I felt my throat clogging I couldn't catch my breath were they really together?

"He's a funny dude Jaz he loves fashion the two of us are slaying this runway in heaven, that's the term you kids are slinging these days right?"

I could barely nod picturing Aaqil and EJ walking down runaways in heaven both trying to look cuter than the other one. I couldn't stop smiling even as my legs dropped.

"No tears Sis ain't none of us got the time for that. My time here is limited I gotta go back to God's garden soon"

"No please I …

"I can't stay Jaz. I'm only on loan we all are really we're God's children when he calls us home well we are honored. Someday will be together again, not now though it's not your time"

"Than when?"

"When your work here is done you'll know"

"I miss you Aaqil"

"Miss you to sis but can you make me happy settle that score with EJ so he can stop whining like a damn bitch. You just have to do one thing"

"What's that?"

"Follow your heart Jaz"

Aaqil winked at me just like that he was gone. Leaving me gasping hot tears burning my eyes the sudden cold touch on my shoulder caused me to jump. "Jaz" Tops standing there his eyes clouded with worry no judgment. God his eyes were amazing follow your heart that's what they wanted me to do.

"Jaz" His words were cut short by the crashing of my lips against his lips crashing into his. Everyone stood back in shock his lips soft making me feel warm inside. They say a kiss can rocket blast you into another world. I'm not sure I believe that however I can tell you what I will remember is his hands which started off stiff now eased up, roaming slowly up my body his left hand rested on my left butt check, his right hand rested on my lower back.

The smell of his after shave the scratchy bits of his just starting to come in bread rubbing against my check. His lips taking dominance his tongue pressing against my teeth begging to be let in. Pine scented hair mixed with honey brown sugar coated lips. His upper lips sucking on my lower one a slow low moan built up in the base of my throat. Tender lips warm hands pressing my back so my chest was brought closer to his. Our breaths became one his warmth transcended from his body to mine. Filling my cold shivering body.

I have dreamed about this moment even fantasied how it would feel sometimes even orgasmed to my dreams. I never truly thought it would happen. Growing up I was never the popular girl. I didn't have many boyfriends, only two through out my whole teen years. Ham was my first from 11 to 14 we were on and off. My last one was Tennessee Sawyer. I never thought I would have another boyfriend not after I was diagnosed with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia when I was fourteen for three years I battled intense nausea, hair loss bone pain, headaches lonely nights and days in a hospital far away from NYC in Memphis TN, blood transfusions, bone marrow transplants, Chemo Radiation, fear. I lost my hair I swelled up, I lost weight, there were many times I didn't think I would make it through. I had no one to talk to or share my feelings or fears with.

Tennessee was a sweet kid cute and smart I met him when I was sixteen he was also a cancer patient. Still there were no sparks with him, I knew part of the reason he found me pretty was because he also knew what it felt like to be known as "The Sick One" I always wanted a boyfriend who was into me for me who knew the real me.

I never believed it could happen why would any man like Tops a smart motivated ambitious athletic handsome leader want with me? True he had no idea I had cancer no one did here. Nope this wasn't a dream it was as real as the bruise that was forming from where Tops was pressing me against the stone. The whole experience brought me back to what country music videos always talk about. I couldn't breathe because I didn't want to if dying was the price I would have to pay to have Tops hands on my body roaming under my shirt, his lips sucking on my mouth. Bring on the eternal darkness.

For this slice of heaven I would die any day a thousand deaths.

A flash caught my eye did McGuire just take a damn picture? Who cares I couldn't stop the moan escaping filling his warm beer scented mouth, "Sargent Khan you crossed a line" Just like the snap of a finger my dream came crushing down on me like the reflection of a nightmare in the middle of the night when you wake up dripping in sweat nauseated. Hands pushed me away angry sending me flying shock waves coursing through my body. I was left speechless confused he returned the kiss. I felt it! Not just in the way his lips explored every inch of my mouth.

I felt his erratic heartbeat how tender his touch was, his arousal so deep he needed relief that not even his hands could satisfy. So why was he reacting this way?

I couldn't catch my breath everything was spinning it wasn't just from how dizzy his kiss left me. My legs were shaking everything was frozen suspended in time. The change of his face from excitement & pleasure to shock anger disappointment. The air grew colder stiffer less friendly McGuire bite into an apple, Gia hustled the kids away Hannah grabbed the dogs.

"Sargent Khan your crossing a line one that can't be undone I am your C.O what you just did warrants a write up for sexual harassment you're suspended until further notice"

My world stopped growing cold darker he stormed off yelling for Patricia the sky felt like it was closing in. I needed to escape. "Jaz" I heard their voices calling to me I couldn't wouldn't stop or look back.

A/N Thank you to everyone who has favored reviewed or followed. Soon we shall know the fate of our show. Fingers crossed and keep the #RenewTheBrave trending please.