"And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere only we know"
-Somewhere Only We Know by Keane
When Rachel heard Finn's voice, relief coursed through her body since the severe loneliness she was feeling was slowly killing her. Even though she was confused to why he's here, she's glad he was. Rachel quickly wiped her tears and allowed Finn to help her stand up from the ground, "What are you doing here?" she asked.
"I asked you first," Finn grinned.
Rachel rolled her eyes then shrugged, "I don't know, I just really need a break."
"Well it's almost 6 o'clock, do you maybe wanna grab some breakfast with me?" Finn asked.
"Oh, my dads are expecting me to eat breakfast with them. My papa was awake when I left the house, he told me to be back by breakfast," Rachel said, "But you can eat with us if you want to," she quickly added.
"Only if they won't mind…"
Finn didn't really want to have breakfast with Rachel if her dads were going to be there. When Finn and Rachel were together, they used to adore him for making their daughter happy, but Finn is scared of what they think of him now. He was scared of what they think about the man who pushed their daughter away leaving her broken hearted. Finn doesn't want to know.
"I'm sure they won't," Rachel smiled, "Do you think I can ride with you? Since I just jogged all the way here." She said.
"Really?" Finn asked with a raised eyebrow.
Rachel giggled, "Why is it hard to believe?"
"I can barely run up a flight of stairs!" Finn said with exaggeration.
"Shut up," Rachel said playfully as she nudged the side of his stomach.
Finn chuckled then gently grabbed Rachel's hand, "Come on let's go have breakfast."
The car ride back to Rachel's place was full of singing and laughter. Rachel kept trying to make Finn sing along with her to the songs that play on the radio but the way he keeps shaking his head shyly makes Rachel laugh at how adorable he was being. It only took 30 minutes to get to the house, Finn wished it took longer because he didn't want an end to the sound of Rachel's laughter.
"Finn– you okay?" Rachel asked Finn noticing he was fidgeting with his hands under the table.
"Just nervous," He mumbled truthfully.
"There's nothing to be nervous about," Rachel assured Finn.
"But your dads' probably-" Finn stopped talking when one of Rachel's dads' entered the dining room.
Finn immediately stood up when LeRoy greeted him, "Hello sir," he greeted back as he gave him a firm handshake.
"Long time no see," LeRoy said.
Finn nodded, "Yeah I've been busy." It wasn't a complete lie, he's been busy but not necessarily with his teaching job, but with other people and Rachel's dad definitely doesn't need to know that.
"Well I'm glad to see you Finn."
Rachel cleared her throat reminding her dad that she was still in the room, "Seems like you're more excited to see Finn than you were to see me when I arrived last night."
LeRoy chuckled and gave his daughter a kiss on the forehead, "I was excited to see you, but I was just too tired to show it," he said, "Oh and by the way, your papa had to leave early he had an emergency meeting," he informed.
"Oh," Rachel frowned, "will you guys be busy the whole week? I really wanted to spend time with the both of you."
"Most probably, sweetheart. But maybe after your honeymoon with Jesse. I know you want to spend time with us while before you become Mrs. St James," LeRoy managed to hold back his tears when he said that. He still couldn't grasp the thought of his only daughter getting married. "But it won't make any difference if you spend time with us – married or not – you're always going our little girl. I just hope you wont rush to have a baby, that would be too much to sink in right after a wedding."
Finn took a deep breath as he listened to what LeRoy was saying. Was it bad that he hopes the wedding won't push through? Was it too selfish for him to want Rachel all to himself even if he doesn't deserve her?
"Daddy…" Rachel said in a hushed voice. She felt overwhelmed at how fast time was passing by as it gets closer and closer to her wedding day. She didn't feel too excited at the moment considering she still has an issue with Jesse that has yet to be resolved. Sometimes Rachel wonders if it will ever be resolved.
"I'm starving let's eat," Rachel said — once again wanting to ignore everything that has to do with her fiancée.
As soon as they were all done with their meals, LeRoy had to leave early so Rachel asked Finn if he wanted to watch a movie with her since she had nothing to do, but Finn suggested to go to his place so that she could see his mom. Finn saw a look of nervousness flash across Rachel's face. The only time Rachel would see Carole is when she would tag along with Burt to visit Kurt which is rarely. Rachel eventually agreed when Finn told her there's nothing to worry about, and that his mom misses her.
There was always a feeling of comfort for Rachel whenever she spends time with Finn and his mom, she always felt like she was a part of the Hudson-Hummel family because Kurt was like her brother, and Carole and Burt would somehow treat her like their own. Rachel was glad nothing has changed between them even though it's been a long time since she actually spent some personal time with Carole.
"Your engagement ring looks beautiful Rachel," Carole complimented, "I'm happy for you both."
Rachel thought Carole wouldn't like it that she was marrying a man who wasn't her son since she would always tell her that she was the only girl Finn wanted to marry, or how she was looking forward to have her as a daughter-in-law one day — so Rachel was surprised at what Carole
"Really?" Rachel asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"
"Oh," Rachel blushed in embarrassment when she realized how silly it was to doubt her sincerity. "I'm sorry I just thought– I mean– It's just that—" Rachel tried to compose a proper answer but she could find the appropriate words.
"You thought I wouldn't be happy since you're marrying someone else didn't you?"
"Yeah," Rachel answered truthfully, "I'm sorry. I thought you would hate me."
"Oh sweetie, I could never hate you. And it doesn't matter who you're with, I will always care about you." Carole said.
Rachel smiled, "Thank you," she paused then hesitantly spoke up a few seconds after, "Do you have any idea of what Finn thinks about, you know, me and Jesse?" she asked curiously. Rachel doesn't really know what Finn thinks of her and Jesse together. Rachel doesn't really know why, but most of Finn's opinions mean a lot to her.
"Well he was probably just shocked," Carole shrugged, "But I'm sure he's happy for you."
While Rachel and Carole were downstairs in the living room having their conversation, Finn was in his room talking to Kurt on the phone.
"Did you know she was coming here?"
"No. Andrew just told me she was taking a few days off."
"Andrew?"
"Rachel's co-star. How are things developing between you and her anyway?"
"I don't know, Kurt. I don't think I want to screw up a relationship. It's not right."
Finn heard Kurt sigh deeply.
"I agree it's not right. But it's not like you're seducing her to have sex with her, you're just… Well– you know–"
"I'm what?" Finn asked with a roll of his eyes.
"Rachel has been doubting her relationship and running away from her problems from Jesse. Neither her or Jesse are working on their relationship anymore, they just ignore everything that need to be resolved. You're just opening her eyes, Finn."
"Fine. But I'm not gonna rush things."
"Her wedding is in a week."
"Not helping dude," Finn snapped.
"I'm just saying."
"Alright I have to go."
"Good luck."
And with that, the other line on the phone went dead. Finn knew Kurt was right — he had to do something.
Finn went downstairs and saw that Rachel was still having a conversation with his mom. He didn't want to interrupt them because it's been a long time since they actually interacted with each other, but he doesn't know how long Rachel would stay here and he wanted to get her to open up to him about how she really feels.
"Hey mom?" Finn called out causing Rachel to fall silent.
"Yes honey?"
"I was kinda hoping to spend the rest of the day with Rachel."
"What about lunch?"
"We will go to a restaraunt if we get hungry."
"Oh," Carole turned her head to Rachel; "Do you want to spend the rest of the day with him?"
Rachel looked down blushing, "If you don't mind," she said shyly.
"I am a bit bummed," she said truthfully, "But I won't mind as long as you come back for dinner."
"That would be lovely. I would love to have dinner with you guys." Rachel gave Carole a hug before she left with Finn.
Nostalgia — That's what Rachel felt when she was walking around the park with Finn. They spent most of the day cloud gazing and telling each other scary stories. During lunchtime, Finn got Chinese food for take out so they could eat by the playground to watch kids as they play. She wishes she could go back in time when she was 16 years old when everything was simple, when she didn't have to worry about so much, and when she was safely hidden from the big bad world. Not that Rachel isn't happy now, she just misses her teenage years.
"I miss living here," Rachel spoke up.
Finn looked at her surprised, "You serious?"
"Yeah," she answered, "I mean don't get me wrong I'm glad that I'm in New York living my dream but.. There are times I miss this place deeply."
Finn gave her a funny look; "Wow I never thought I'd hear you say that," he said.
Rachel giggled, "Don't you miss this place? Your hometown?"
"No," Finn answered.
"I don't believe you."
"Well I don't."
"Well there's gotta be something from your past that you greatly miss," Rachel said.
You. Finn thought to himself.
"Let's go to the swings!" Rachel said without letting Finn give a response to what she said.
Finn chuckled and followed Rachel as she ran to the swing set. He fixed his gaze on her as she pumped her legs making the swing go high.
"Don't you want to join me?" Rachel asked.
Finn shook his head.
Rachel pouted as she stopped pumping her legs. Once the swing was steady, she got off and walked over to Finn. "What do you want to do?" she asked.
"I wanna go back to the lake," He answered.
"It's getting dark. Don't we have to go back before dinner?"
"It will only be for a while. Come on let's walk there since it's near."
"Okay," Rachel obliged.
Rachel looped her arm with Finn's as they started to make their way to the lake. She began to think of Jesse and how she felt when his arms are wrapped around her, or when they would intertwine their fingers together. No one knows exactly what's going on in Rachel's head. She doesn't tell anyone anything anymore, not even Santana or Kurt. She's been comparing both Jesse and Finn with each other. She doesn't know why but it makes her feel like she's being placed on a position where she has to make a choice. Finn or Jesse. Rachel knows she shouldn't compare her fiancée to anyone but she couldn't help it. With Jesse — when there is no conflict between them – she feels safe. But with Finn, she feels a scary feeling that makes her not want to leave his side. Rachel's confusion with everything drove her crazy. She didn't want to be bothered with questions from anyone so she had to show that she was okay when she's actually not.
"You okay?" Finn asked as they sat down in the end of the dock by the lake.
"And what makes you think something's bothering me Mr. Hudson," Rachel said in a playful tone.
"You were quiet the whole time we were going here."
Rachel shrugged, "I'm fine. Don't worry."
"Sure you are," Finn said unconvinced.
"Are you really gonna push me to open up to you?" Rachel whined.
"No, but it's not healthy to keep it bottled up."
"Do you wanna dance?" Rachel asked wanting to drop the topic.
Finn furrowed his eyebrows, "What?"
"Come on!" Rachel grabbed Finn's arm and stood up pulling him with her.
Finn obliged and settled his hands on Rachel's waist as she wrapped her's around his neck and began to sway. It took a bit of time for the awkwardness to go away since the last time Finn and Rachel both danced together was years ago at their senior prom.
"You look very handsome," Rachel complimented as she studied the feautures on Finn's face.
"I'm just wearing a shirt and jeans."
Rachel giggled, "I think it's your eyes."
Finn released a shaky breath. He remembered how it would creep him out at how she would stare at him adoringly when he was still dating Quinn, and how she would get lost into his eyes when he would stare back. It would've been creepy to him then, but if he thinks about it now — he would just laugh at how adorable Rachel actually was when she was crazily obsessed with him. "It's so mesmerizing isn't it?" Finn joked.
"It is," Rachel said seriously causing Finn to stare at her with wide eyes.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Rachel asked not meaning to sound nervous.
"You can't keep everything bottled in."
Rachel rolled her eyes and stopped swaying, "Let it go, Finn," she said as she unwrapped her arms around Finn's neck.
"I'm sorry, I can't. Look, I'm not trying to push you—"
"But you are!" Rachel yelled.
"Do you remember what I promised you?"
Confusion flashed across Rachel's face, "What?"
"Remember we were watching The Notebook, a-and you were asking if we could make it, and I promised you that we will. I promised you that I would find you if we ever lost each other."
Tears were starting to form in the corner of Rachel's eyes. She didn't know why she was in the verge of tears. Maybe it had something to do with the overwhelming feeling that just hit her. "You remember that?" Rachel said with her voice cracking.
"I remember it all too well," Finn responded, "I still have the engagement ring. It's kept in a box full of pictures of you and me. There are times I hold it just to have the feeling of you being with me. I didn't know why I would hold on to it, but now I do."
"Finn..." Rachel was already crying. She wanted to cover her ears. She didn't want to hear anything Finn has to say. She didn't want to know.
"I love you," Finn blurted out. He didn't want to wait to say it any longer. He couldn't keep it in. "I still do," he continued, "And I'm so–" Finn stopped talking when he felt a hand collide with his cheek. He knew he deserved that.
"You can't say stuff like that when I'm getting married with someone else in a week!"
Finn winced at the anger in Rachel's voice. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you away. I didn't know why I did it but I was so stupid back then and I was just so stressed and I'm sorry. I'm just so sorry."
"Do you really think I'd leave Jesse for you?" Rachel spat.
"No. I was thinking you'd leave him for your own good."
"Why would I do that? He treats me right."
"He may treat you right but does your heart really scream for him? You always avoid your issues with him and you keep doubting your relationship. If your relationship with Jesse really means a lot to you, you'd do something about it to keep it from falling apart. But you're always running away from the problem and you can't run forever, Rachel."
"I care about him!"
"I'm not saying that you don't!" Finn yelled back in frustration, "Just try to hear me out Rachel," he begged with pleading eyes.
"I think you've said enough." Rachel said as she turned around to walk away but she felt Finn grab her arm to stop her, "Let me go Finn!"
"Please, hear me out before you walk away."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"I just can't Finn!"
It broke Rachel's heart every time she yelled at Finn, but she couldn't take it anymore. When she was in highschool, she liked the idea of being the girl two boys are trying to fight for. She loved how Finn was trying to win her heart from Jesse when they were dating for the first time. It was all fun and games back then but now, it isn't fun anymore. This wasn't some teenage love triangle where it was mostly just jealousy. This involved serious decisions where you have to really think through, and serious heartbreak that wouldn't go away a week later. Rachel would have to break someone's heart. She wished things didn't turn out this way.
"Do you love me? Please just tell me the truth, tell me if you still in love with me," Finn said with desperation in his voice.
Rachel looked down. She couldn't look him in they eyes. It takes one word to either make him be relieved with happiness, or shatter his heart into a million pieces. Just one simple word. But Rachel couldn't say it.
"I love Jesse. I'm marrying him."
"I know, but that wasn't my question. Look at me Rachel," Finn lifted Rachel's chin, "look me in the eyes and tell me that you're not in love with me then I'll leave you alone for good."
"Stop," Rachel begged, "please just stop. I don't want to hurt Jesse, I love him too much to do that. You had your chance Finn, but you blew it. Don't make me do this, please."
Finn sighed in defeat. Rachel was right. He had his chance but he lost it. When Finn saw Rachel take a few steps back, he wanted to stop her and ask her to answer his question but he couldn't get himself to do it. She was also hurting and she was placed in a position nobody would want to deal with.
"Goodbye Finn," Rachel whispered before she turned around and started to walk away.
Watching Rachel walk away from him was painful. He wanted to scream for her — beg her to stop. Tell her he couldn't stand to see her leave him. Finn knew he had to do something — the right thing — and that was to let her go. And so he did.
I haven't really decided on how many more chapters, but this story is definitely coming to an end. If there are any typos, I apologize. Thank you for reviews, it's very much appreciated.
