Title: A Wright Anything Christmas
Summary: It's anything goes when it comes to Christmas with the agency! A small Christmas party with our favorite attorneys, prosecutors, and Spirit mediums! Chaos ensues.
Characters: Phoenix W./Nick, Maya F., Miles E.,
It was a calm Christmas Day, with a merriment in the air that enchanted even the most hardened of individuals. Most had just awoken, yet Phoenix Wright had been awake for hours. He sat in his kitchen, working on a project of his own. Since his return to law, him and Miles Edgeworth had been taking turns hosting the annual Christmas party.
He opened his fridge and pulled out several ingredients, before setting them on the counter and whisking them in a large bowl. He slid the concoction in his oven, before leaving it to bake.
Athena Cykes jogged through the morning fog, preparing herself for the day. She sprinted through the cold fog, causing beads of sweat to drip down her arm and shoulders. That Christmas morning, the Christmas lights hung from several apartment complexes were all that was visible through the thick fog.
She looped around the block several times, before entering her apartment. She locked the door, and entered her room. It was then, she receive a phone call.
"Simon?"
Apollo Justice was awoken from his sleep to hear the words...
"Awaken from your stupor, Mr. Justice. For today is Christmas Day." He was faced with Nahyuta Sahdmadhi, who was holding a meditational pose.
"Can you let me sleep in on the one day where we don't have clients," Apollo hissed, grumpy from being awoken at the early hour.
"Satorha!"
Nahyuta's rosary landed around Apollo's forehead, much to his chagrin. He knew what was going to happen a moment before it happened.
"Satorhaimaomandomashidetasenukesonoka!," chanted Nahyuta, as the rosary began to constrict around Apollo's forehead. He cried out in pain.
"I'm up! I'm up!" Apollo rubbed his forehead. Nahyuta returned to his meditational position.
"A very large package arrived from the United States this morning. It's from Mr. Wright. I believe you should come down to the throne room." Nahyuta lead the young attorney through the streets of Khura'in into the Khura'in royal palace. Upon entering the throne room, he found several large, unopened packages sitting beneath the throne.
"Ah. Welcome Horn Head. Barbed Head sent us a large package of goods today. Gifts for you, myself, and Braid Head." Queen Rayfa Padma Khura'in had recently learned Spirit Channeling and had claimed her role as Queen of Khura'in.
"Allow me to see..." Nahyuta opened the package that read 'Nahyuta.' In it, he found a large collection of rosaries as well as a card.
"Hey, Prosecutor Sahdmadhi! I hope you enjoy these rosaries I bought. After having to, ummm, 'bargain', I was able to convince Pearls to charge it with spiritual power. So, enjoy these rosaries of suffering!
Sincerely,
Phoenix Wright" Nahyuta smiled as he picked up a rosary.
"Oh, look there's a footnote. P.S. be sure to test it on Apollo," Nahyuta read. Apollo reeled back at this.
"W-wait! N-nooo!"
"Satorha!"
Three of Nahyuta's new found rosaries landed around Apollo's forehead. Nahyuta chanted his Khura'inese curse and the beads constricted around the overworked attorney's head, much to his chagrin.
"Aaaaagh! Did Mr. Wright make these actually hurt more than the regular beads!" He managed to chuck the rosaries off and back at Nahyuta. They landed squarely in the box.
"Let's move on to the next gift. Please," pleaded Apollo.
It was a mess! It was a catastrophe! It was anarchy!
Phoenix Wright opened the oven after leaving his cake to bake for 4 hours, according to his recipe. When he opened the oven, he was greeted by a small fire within the pan where the cake once sat. He jumped up in shock at the sight of the burnt cake. He quickly found his fire extinguisher and sprayed the liquid onto the flame, quelling it in an instant.
He began to clean up the mess. After he had finished scraping the remains of the cake from the pan and opened several windows to remove the smoke, he opened his laptop to find out what went wrong with his recipe. He read the publish date. April 1st.
"Uuuuuugh." The veteran attorney browsed the internet to find another recipe called 'Piece of Cake Episode 20', posted by 'Master Chef Jeff Master.' He clicked on the link, and it lead him to a YouTube video.
"Ah yes! Finally! Step by step instruction!," he exclaimed. As soon as the 30 minute video had loaded, the young attorney clicked play to be greeted by a man with white hair and an afro singing with a woman with brown hair and a green dress.
"What's for desert today? Chocolate Cake! Caramel Cream! All that you could ever have to dream!" Phoenix clicked off of the video, sighing and continuing his browse of the internet in search of a cake recipe.
"Simon? What is it?" questioned Athena. Simon Blackquill, who was on the other line sighed, before speaking.
"Athena, I do not really want to go to Wright-Dono's Christmas celebration." Athena gasped.
"What are you talking about! Where else could you possibly spend your holiday?"
"At home, watching anime stories of the samurai of yore." Athena giggled, much to the chagrin of the Twisted Samurai. "What?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm just laughing because you'd rather be a weaboo with your Samurai flicks, then spend time with friends at Mr. Wright's Christmas Party."
"They aren't 'Samurai Flicks', Athena! They are exquisite anime productions! To lower them down to mere flicks is an atrocity!" Simon halted himself after realizing what he said.
"Alright Simon, if you don't come to Mr. Wright's party, I will show them all the recording of you geeking out on anime."
"Y-you wouldn't! I-I'm calling your bluff, you have no recording!" Athena played the recording, causing the Twisted Samurai to recoil in embarrassment. Athena let out a laugh.
"Well?"
"I'll be there," Simon groaned. Athena's laughter rang out as the call ended.
"Alright, Horn Head. Here's the package you received." Rayfa handed Apollo a large, wrapped gift. Apollo tore of the wrapping violently, causing Nahyuta to shake his head in disapproval. Apollo found an unmarked box inside of the gift. He opened the box to find shattered glass and ceramics.
"Well, Apollo? What is it?" questioned Nahyuta. Apollo lifted the contents of the box, before dropping them immediately after cutting his hand on a sharp edge. After several minutes of screaming frustrations from Apollo and a bandaged hand, they had managed to calm him down.
"Here's the letter, Horn Head." Apollo grabbed the letter and read.
"Hey Apollo! I hope you've been enjoying Khura'in. The office has been a little sad without you, yet we hope it's not that bad over there! To help brighten your office, me and Mr. Wright pitched our funds to buy you that lamp! It glows in three colors! Blue, red, and yellow. I thought it might remind you of us! Hope ya like it!
Love,
Athena." Apollo placed the letter to his chest, before wiping his eyes.
"Thank you, Athena."
"Y'know, Horn Head, a broken bowl can be put back together. I suggest we open my gift, and then try and fix Horn Head's lamp."
"Th-thank you, Rayfa."
Phoenix Wright lifted his mediocre pastry, coating it in frosting. Before long, frosting had been smeared over the cake. He wrote in red frosting, 'Merry Christmas.' He added his small finishing touch onto the cake. He drew a golden Magatama, an inaccurate portrayal of Widget, a bracelet, and a pair of glasses. He then covered the cake and carried it down to the Wright Anything Agency.
"Boss! What is this!" exclaimed Athena, staring at the large mass of frosting coated mess. Phoenix sighed in exasperation before speaking.
"My Christmas gift to everyone at the party. Now Athena, I am going to go buy myself a cup of coffee, but if you touch that cake before it's time to unravel it, I will cut your pay in half! Is that clear?" Athena was unfamiliar with this side of her boss.
"S-sure boss, but why do you care so much?" Phoenix turned to face Athena. His face was a convoluted mixture of grief, exasperation, and anger.
"I've spent hours trying to make this cake." It was then that Athena noticed that his eyes were bloodshot. Athena took several steps back, as the veteran attorney walked to the nearest coffee location.
Athena tapped a button on her robotic companion, and her holographic display appeared, allowing her peruse the interwebs. It was then she received a text. Widget chirped as she opened her message, which was a '.png' image from Apollo. She laughed out loud as she saw Apollo holding the lamp she had bought, though the difference was striking, as the expensive piece of pottery now possessed several fractures.
She typed a quick reply as her boss, who was looking less like some form of demon, and more like the Mr. Wright she knew, walked into the room. He tossed a large bag onto the table beside Athena.
"Merry Christmas, Athena." Athena opened the bag to find three cartons of orange juice, to which she squealed.
"Thank you, buh-b-boss." Her void tears began to fall from her eyes, as Phoenix crossed his arms and sat on his chair. He opened his laptop.
"Athena? This thing says I have a virus, and I was wondering what that is. Is it something relating to magic? Did Trucy do it?" At that, Athena's robotic companion burst out.
"Virus? Virus? Burn it I say! Burn that computer! I don't want to get corrupted!" Widget cried.
"Ummm, it's nothing. Don't worry about it, boss." Phoenix sighed, before turning back to his laptop. He clicked the ignore button, and continued on his business. At that moment, a raven haired Spirit Medium entered the room.
"Merry Christmas, Nick!" Maya threw a single dollar at her best friend.
"1 Dollar?" questioned Phoenix.
"That's my payment for defending me in Khura'in! I haven't paid you yet, so that's my gift." Phoenix placed his hand on his desk and facepalmed, yet remained silent. Maya placed her hands on her hips, as she walked over to the desk.
"Boss, I wanted to give you my Ch-Christmas gift."
"Yes, Athena?" Phoenix stood up. The younger attorney handed him a coupon. Phoenix read it aloud. "Free 5 dollar meal at the burger shack."
"Ooh, Athena thanks for the Christmas gift!" exclaimed Maya, causing the veteran attorney to lead out an exasperated sigh before leaning over his desk. Maya snatched the coupon from the experienced lawyer, and began to walk out of the office.
"Oh no you don't!" Athena's robotic companion chirped out. Maya turned to face Athena, and was met with an angry glare. Athena lunged at the Spirit Medium, hoping to snatch the coupon she gifted to her boss back. The two young women began duking it out. Phoenix sat by, shaking his head. He sat down and continued his work, attempting to block out the sounds of the ongoing battle beside him. It was at that moment, that Trucy Wright and Pearl Fey walked into the room.
"Wh-what's going on here?" Trucy held her hand above her mouth, as a look of shock was plastered over her face.
"I would tell you, but it's a long story." Phoenix was writing something down on his paper. Pearl was taken aback.
"Why didn't you stop them!"
"I will not be able to hold a candle to Athena when boosted by her Orange Juice and Maya when fueled by a lust for burgers," said Phoenix, nonchalantly. The two teenagers walked over to the veteran attorney's desk.
"I'd rather not get involved in this," said Trucy, lowering her head in exasperation, similar to her father. Trucy took a sip of the coffee from on the desk. As the bitter, caffeinated darkness that is coffee was poured into her mouth, she instantly spit it out, leaving a stain on the wall.
"Daddy! How can you handle black coffee like that! At least add a little milk or creamer!" Trucy exclaimed, as she struggled to purge all traces of the dark liquid from her mouth.
"You should've asked what was in it, then," said Phoenix, laughing ",The cleaning supplies are right here." Phoenix handed her a towel and a bottle of "Insta-Clean!", their preferred brand of cleaning spray. She reluctantly took the towel and began to scrub away the mess. Shortly, Athena walked towards the desk and handed Phoenix the coupon that she had attempted to gift him minutes prior.
"Aw, c'mon Athena!" Maya shouted.
"Hey Truce, can you find someway to hide this?" Phoenix handed his daughter the coupon, which she immediately managed to make disappear with the blink of an eye. Phoenix paused, shocked for a moment, before smirking.
"Well, good luck, Maya. Once Trucy has made something disappear, it's gone until she wills it to be back," observed Athena, causing Maya to let out a short wail. The budding magician tilted her hat to the side and gave a smile.
"Now then, everything is back to normal. Is everyone ready for tonight?" Athena nodded, before speaking.
"I managed to convince Simon to come. Klavier, Mr. Edgeworth, and Ms. von Karma will be coming as well."
"I also invited a few others," said Phoenix, staring fondly at the walls.
"Who?" questioned Maya.
"Mr. and Mrs. Gumshoe, of course," explained Phoenix, causing Maya to jump.
"I haven't seen Detective Gumshoe and his wife in ages!" Maya smiled fondly, as she mused on the days where they would hop around crime scenes, investigating alongside the underpaid detective.
"Oh, umm, I invited someone to New Years!" Athena smirked.
"Who?" questioned Phoenix.
"It's a surprise!" Both Trucy and Maya grumbled in frustration, as Pearl sat back, processing the information. Phoenix placed his finger on his chin, before sighing.
"Maya, entertain Trucy, Athena, and Pearls while I get some work done," said Phoenix.
"Alright then, how about we go ummm... I dunno, actually. Well, let's go do a thing!" Maya heartily exclaimed, as the jovial women left the agency, to let the veteran attorney accomplish some paperwork.
As soon as the clock ticked to 6, signaling the time of arrival Phoenix had asked of his guests, both Franziska von Karma and Miles Edgeworth entered the room. Edgeworth was wearing his maroon jacket, as usual. He was sporting his signature glasses. Phoenix took a second to turn and face Franziska, who had changed quite a bit.
She was wearing different clothing to what she wore in her younger days. She was wearing her white clothing with a vest and jacket over them. She still sported her cravat and her striking silver hair was reaching to her soldiers. Phoenix turned to face the Chief Prosecutor.
"I trust you've been well, Wright," said Edgeworth, greeting his lifelong friend. He placed two fingers on his glasses and adjusted them
"Hey Edgeworth," said Phoenix ",and hello, Franziska. But can I ask why you arrived exactly at 6?"
"Ha! Isn't it obvious. We are the perfect guests who will be exactly on time, not a second too late."
"I merely happened to arrive as Franziska was standing outside the door, staring intensely at her watch, anticipating something." Edgeworth knew what would come, yet felt it was worth it. He earned a crack of the whip from Franziska. The two walked into the room, before sitting on the couch.
"So, where is that understudy and former assistants of yours?" questioned Franziska.
"Now that you mention it, where is your daughter as well?" questioned Edgeworth, staring at the veteran attorney.
"Maya took the girls to do god knows what, and they haven't returned yet," explained Phoenix. Edgeworth nodded, understandingly. At that, a knock was heard at the door. Phoenix went to open the door, and was greeted with the smiling face of Detective Dick Gumshoe, and his wife, Maggey Gumshoe.
"Hey pals!" Gumshoe walked in, holding a large bowl of noodles.
"It's really been too long since I've seen you, Sirs!" exclaimed Maggey ",It's so great to see you again!" The two walked in and placed the bowl of noodles on the counter beside the cake.
"I'm impressed, Scruffy. How on earth did you manage to afford these noodles?" questioned Franziska.
"We've both been working very hard, and we now live in an acceptable apartment," said Maggey.
"You've grown quite a lot, detective. I'm glad I don't need to cut your salary nearly as much as I needed to before," said Edgeworth, smirking.
"I have to thank you for helping the most, Mr. Edgeworth! If it wasn't for that raise you gave me all those years ago, I wouldn't be able to have got my start with Maggey! So thank you, pal!"
"I'm glad your living conditions have improved, Detective. Maya was excited to see you."
"Oh yeah, I forgot she was back from that weird country. So, when are you gonna ask her?" questioned Gumshoe.
"Ask her what?" questioned Phoenix.
"Y'know! Ask her out on a date!" Phoenix reeled back as his face turned bright red, much to his chagrin.
"Detective, I think you have the wrong idea about me and Maya!" The formerly underpaid detective let out a chuckle.
"Mr. Nick, someone who truly understands love is reading you like a book!" Phoenix turned and was met with the four girls who had returned from their little trip. He reeled back as he realized what Pearl had heard. He turned and saw Maya, who was also blushing badly.
"Look, I may not be the brightest bulb in the bunch..." said Gumshoe.
"That's a severe understatement," said Franziska, snidely.
"Yet I can tell love when I see it!" exclaimed Gumshoe, his voice filled with an overwhelming confidence.
"I seriously doubt that, detective," said Edgeworth.
"No offense, Mr. Edgeworth, but I mean you aren't exactly a lady's man."
"And just what is wrong with wishing to remain unwed?" said Edgeworth, crossing his arms, tapping his finger over his right arm.
"I don't think you're the best one to talk about love, Mr. IAttractedAnOldCrazyLady," said Phoenix, causing Edgeworth to lean back, and let out a loud 'NGHOOOOH!'
"Miles, that was wholly sad. If Scruffy and Phoenix Wright can beat you in an argument, then clearly sitting in your office all day has caused you to lose your touch!" Edgeworth leaned over the table placing his fists down in a typical manner for him as he huffed with agony. Phoenix grinned, prompting the prosecutor to lift himself up and smirk.
"Wright, you merely just strengthened the good detective's case. After all, that means that he's correct about you and Ms. Fey." He shook his head, smirking. Phoenix leaned over, as Edgeworth laughed.
"Can we... can we change the subject?"
"Sorry Wright, conversation just tends to flow like a river." Franziska flashed a wide grin at the Chief Prosecutor before turning to face the veteran attorney.
Another loud knock was heard at the door, prompting Phoenix to walk to the door and open it. He was greeted by a group of prosecutors, holding several trays of food. Prosecutor Klavier Gavin, Simon Blackquill, and Winston Payne.
"Former Prosecutor Payne? What are you doing here?" questioned Phoenix, causing the retired prosecutor to wince.
"I apologize for the extra guest, Herr Wright. I just felt sorry for him as his brother is engaged in some work in Khura'in." Phoenix nodded, processing this information.
"Wright-Dono, will you make this allowance?"
"I know what you must think of me, with how I treated you during your rookie days, but I hope you know I've changed for the better," said Payne ",I feel as though my outlook on life has changed since my retirement. My brother hasn't had a change of heart, so for that, I apologize."
"It's no problem, Mr. Payne. Why don't you all come in?" Phoenix welcomed. The group placed their assorted foods on the table, before Klavier pulled out his guitar, which he had been wearing strapped to his back. He played a few notes.
"Ach Tung! Let us begin!" exclaimed Klavier. Phoenix leaned over in exasperation.
"Actually, I was hoping we could watch some Christmas movies. I downloaded a few from Delgado' ." At that, Franziska reeled back.
"You fool! Delete those files, immediately! It's a virus!" Phoenix opened his computer, without asking questions. He displayed the screen, which was perfectly normal.
"See! Why were you worried?" Phoenix was halted as he heard a familiar sound. He turned and was faced with a bright blue screen. He jumped. The rest of the small group laughed at the veteran attorney's suffering. He closed the laptop, before walking towards the group.
"Because of Wright's... incompetence, we must find another activity to entertain ourselves with," said Edgeworth, snidely.
"How about we play Never Have I Ever?" said Maya.
"Please no," said Phoenix. Franziska smirked, placing her arm over chest and placing her other arm over her arm. She began to shake her finger.
"Why not? I believe it's about time I familiarize myself with some of your foolish American games." After Edgeworth gave the silver haired prosecutor a rundown, and everyone had five fingers up, they began.
"I shall go first," said Edgeworth ",Never have I ever ran across a burning bridge."
"Damn you, Edgeworth," said Phoenix, voicing his thoughts. He silently slid one finger down. Next on the line was Phoenix.
"Never have I ever been kidnapped," said Phoenix, earning a grumble from Maya. Phoenix turned to see Edgeworth lowering a single finger.
"I've been kidnapped before," said Edgeworth, nonchalantly. Next on the lineup was Maya.
"Never have I ever channeled a spirit in the prosecutor's office!"
"No one here besides you and Pearls have ever even tried to channel a spirit," said Phoenix. She looked down, dejected.
"Never have I ever been arrested for murder." At that, many of them groaned as Phoenix, Athena, Blackquill, Edgeworth, and Maya all put a single finger down. Franziska smirked. Next in the lineup was Athena.
"Never have I ever prosecuted a case before," said Athena, crossing her arms as a wide grin spread across her face. All of the prosecutors lowered a single finger.
"Wright, when you were the opposing lawyer in the trial for the founder's orb, you technically prosecuted Mr. Are'bel's case," said Edgeworth, pointing his finger. Phoenix reluctantly lowered a finger. Up next was Simon Blackquill.
"Never have I ever been a defense attorney!" The Twisted Samurai placed his finger on his chin and smirked. Both of the Wright Anything lawyers lowered a finger, yet Edgeworth lowered a finger as well, much to the shock of the Twisted Samurai.
"It's a long story, Prosecutor Blackquill." Next on the line was Prosecutor Gavin. He played a long note on his guitar, before speaking.
"Never have I ever physically assaulted a practicing defense attorney," said Klavier, causing Franziska, Maya, Athena, and Simon to lower a single finger. He played two notes, before being whipped by Franziska.
"Yes, Klavier Gavin," said Franziska, smirking. "I've physically assaulted a defense attorney before." Blackquill swiped his finger, causing the blonde prosecutor to fumble with his guitar as he was swiped at by his infamous finger slash. Maya then punctuated their point with a strong punch to the prosecutor's shoulder, causing him to let out a loud yelp.
"Never have I ever had a hair style that requires an incredible amount of hair gel," said Payne. Athena and Edgeworth lowered a finger, rendering Edgeworth out. Though much to their surprise, Phoenix's final finger remained up.
"Wright, please put your finger down," said Edgeworth. Phoenix shook his head and placed his hand on his hips, forcing his biggest smile.
"Nope. I've never used hair gel in my life. My hair is completely natural!" None of the others in the room had any objections. Since Edgeworth was out, it was Phoenix's turn again.
"Never have I ever been defended by an employee at this office," said Phoenix, causing Athena and Maya to lower a finger. Athena was out. It was Maya's turn.
"Never have I ever been shot in the shoulder!" Franziska muttered a curse on German silently under her breath, before lowering a finger. Now, Franziska was up.
"Never have I ever stood at the defense's bench!" Phoenix, Maya, and Blackquill all lowered a single finger. Both Phoenix and Maya were eliminated.
"Somehow, I feel as though everyone wanted me out that game," said Phoenix.
The evening went on, and the group enjoyed themselves. Their conversations rang through the night, as they enjoyed the cake Phoenix had labored on and the food they had all brought. The group of lawyers, prosecutors, Spirit Mediums, and a magician enjoyed their night. Eventually, Edgeworth made everyone tea, and at one point Larry showed up after his date slapped him, leaving him have no one to enjoy Christmas with. All in all, it was a wonderful Christmas season for them.
A/N: Thank god, I was able to get this done before Christmas. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and a fantastic New Years! Cheers!
-Muhammad Sban
