A/N This chapter is divided into two parts. If I get any comments I will post again. In second part there will be lots of Ashley+Spencer. So comment if you want to see Ch 7part 2

It lurks in the darkness with my fears;

It freezes my heart and consumes me with tears.

One by one they trickle down from an angelic surface.

Pouring out the sorrows buried within;

It rushes through the crevices of the skin.

The feeling seeps to the core, as it edges to the floor;

The traces of pain inside relinquishes as it appears as a sore.

Fallen victim, hidden behind allusions;

Installed with perfection, causing only confusion.

A mind gone sick and twisted must stop.

I yearn to grow within and to find the cure;

Maybe I found it, even though it's not pure.

"They say it only takes one time to be fully addicted"

Ch 7 part 1: Beauty through Broken Glass

It was egging me on, pleading with them to join in the fun again. It gently kissed my skin, giving me permission to go ahead.

"It won't hurt, release it." It seductively whispered in my ear.

"I can't do that, I can't" I whispered back.



"One won't hurt, you're a big girl now Ashy." It mocked. I looked down at my body. It stood laughing at me.

"Ashley, what kind of satisfaction do you get when you cut?" The therapist asked. I pondered the question, probing my mind for answers.

I sat there in silence.

"Ashley, what do you wish to do after school?"

"Well, I thought I would become a stripper." I sneered

"Of all the thing to wish to do, why a stripper?" Curiosity peaked in her voice.

"Oh you know what they say about strippers." I smirked towards her.

"I um don't actually." She shifted uncomfortably in her chair.

I grinned before I continued.

My voice shifted seductively "Well, they like the pole between their legs, and it so happens I love the pole rubbing between my legs." I paused before continuing and smiled at her

"I think having Sapphire for a name would be a turn on, don't you think?" I leered towards her.

Her face dropped instantly, her eyes were glued to the floor.

"Hmmm well, it seems I was right." I laughed.

The rest of my hour we sat in silence.

"Okay, we'll sit here until you're ready to talk, do make note of this you will eventually talk. For right now I'm prescribing a few medications to help chemical balance you."

"The first drug is Wellbutrin, it's an anti-depressant which will help with the severe mood swings and manic depression, the other drug is Zoloft which will help with the anxiety attacks."

She wrote me a prescription for each drug.

"Am I free to leave now?" I spewed

"Ye-" I was out the before she could finish.

I ran I didn't know where to go or where I was going; fear overpowered me. The run was surreal; my mind had switched onto autopilot. The next thing I know I'm looking up and I was at the hospital.



The guilt was devouring me, it must have been the reason for me being here. I walked to Spencer's room and heard a man's voice. When she replied she sounded defeated, which perked my interest.

"Spencer, you better not utter a fucking word of this." A man's voice said. I heard Spencer whimper.

I wasn't sure what to do, I debated my two options. One: I could go all Brave heart on his ass and probably get hurt in the process or option stay behind the scenes and figure what was going on. I opted for option two.

"Do you understand," His voice was growing furious. "Do you Spencer; do not make me repeat myself one more time." I peered in the room; he his hand was grabbing her face. She still didn't answer. Spencer just answer the question, please.

He grabbed the back of her head, which caused her to yelp in pain.

"Yes I fully understand." Her voice quivered as she answered.

"I know she got it Cause she lookin' at me like she want it (Want It)
She Drop it low, Make me wanna throw Some d's on it (Hey)
Whatever it is you can't stop it, cause she get low
When she on that pole, and that lets me know
She got it times ten
(psst) Whoa, She Got it, Shawty, She got it."

What the fuck is that. It hit me, fuck. I forgot to turn off my cell phone.

"I know she got it Cause she lookin' at me like she want it (Want It)
She Drop it low, Make me wanna throw Some d's on it (Hey)
Whatever it is you can't stop it, cause she get low
When she on that pole, and that lets me know
She got it times ten
(psst) Whoa, She Got it, Shawty, She got it."

Could things get worse? I felt a gaze. I slowly looked up and brown met brown. Oh god, this could not be good.

"Can I help you?" He asked. His tone underlined a hidden message.

"Yea is this Spencer Carlin's room?" I solemnly said.

"Yep this is it, why do you want to know?"



"Oh well, I'm the one that found her at school, and I heard she was in the hospital again, so I wanted to check on her." It's not like I really lied or anymore, I just merely left out few pieces of vital information.

"Oh I'm sorry about earlier, thank you so much, I don't know what I would have done if she had died." He convincingly said.

"Yea no problem, so do you mind if I see Spencer?" The words seem to have rushed out. I was curious to how he would reply.

"Sure, I need to get home anyways, oh by the way I never got your name?" He said to me.

That would be because I never gave it to you, you ass. Should I lie, no I can't do that, what if found out, he would be so pissed. I'll give him my first name. Ashley is a common name.

"It's Ashley." I left before he could get a word in. I walked into the room.

I could hear the quiet sobbing, she was broken. It was clear now, the look I saw at the beach and the hospital was torment and agony. God, what the hell has he done to her? She finally glanced up.

Blue met brown; however there was something different in her eyes. It was a combination of relief and anger. I smiled at her; I think it pissed her off more.

"Ashley what the hell are you doing here again? She bluntly stated.

"Spencer we have already been through this, I want to make sure you're alright." I candidly said to her.

"Is that so, hmmm?" She didn't seem convinced.

"Yeah" I think she was trying to figure out what I had heard in the hall.

"Okay then." She said simply.

"So when do you get out of here?" I casually asked.

"Tomorrow, why?"

For once don't be fucking stupid. This girl can't go back to that house, come up with something.

"Do you think you'll be fine to hangout tomorrow?" I blurted out

"I'm not sure that would be a good idea."

"Why not, it's not like you haven't been lying on your back for a while, what harm can come from it?" I smirked.



She caught the sarcasm in my voice, she smiled.

"Oh my god!" My voice imitated panic.

"Wa-what Ashley, is there something wrong?" Worry quickly gathered in her voice.

"Oh, you know, I thought I saw a smile." I laughed and dodged an arm.

"You're such a fucker." I laughed at her word choice.

"Yea, well I rather be a fucker, then an ass." I sneered at her. She caught the double meaning, She blushed

"Why Miss. Carlin, did I just make you blush." I snickered at her.

"Don't flatter yourself, my face just likes to show different colors." She said with a coy smile.

"Well as much fun has this been I got to go Spencer, I'll you see you tomorrow hope you're a morning person." I smiled and left.

"I know she got it Cause she lookin' at me like she want it (Want It)
She Drop it low, Make me wanna throw Some d's on it (Hey)
Whatever it is you can't stop it, cause she get low
When she on that pole, and that lets me know
She got it times ten
(psst) Whoa, She Got it, Shawty, She got it."

It was Sophie. "Sophie, I should kick your ass for the other night." My voice mocked annoyance.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Miss Davies." She laughed.

"Oh don't play innocent, you ass." I rolled my eyes. Why was she calling me?

"Sophie what do you want?" I asked curiously.

"God, could you be anymore fucking impatient, you know what they say, patience is a virtue."

"Sophie I'm going to ask one more time what you want, before I hang up the phone." I was irritated now.

"Sophie, what do you want, you have ten seconds to answer." 1…2…3…4…5…6

"Okay, okay calm down, do you want to go out tonight. Jaiden and I are going to a party?" She quickly said.

"See, was that really that hard to tell me what you wanted? I call you back with my answer." I hung up the phone and walked home. My mind was dwelling in the past.

"Why are you doing this?" My voice shook. I tried to get up but I couldn't.

"Please, just let me go, I won't tell anyone." He wouldn't let me up, his body lied on top. He slowly pulled up my skirt. Damn it Ashley, of all the days to where a skirt, I had to pick today. My body heaved up at his touch. No, not like this, I can't give in.

"You like this don't you bitch? Don't worry I won't tell it will be just be a secret between you me." Alcohol seeped through his pores producing a sickening fragrance.

I cringed as his rough hands ripped off my panties and his hands roamed over my clit. My whole body shivered. My mind raced, I tried to imagine another place and another time.

My Imagination wandered to the past when I was a child. I was at a beach, I remember it so vividly. The colors in the sky conveyed passion and the ocean was mesmerizing. I ran into the water, it was so clear and refreshing on my skin. I heard my parents yell, but I didn't look up, the water enthralled me. The next thing I know my dad is picking me up. I cried, I the tears flowed down and my dad stopped.

"Honey what's matter? He voice revealed concern.

I didn't say anything to him. He smiled at me knowingly, and in that moment through one simple gesture my tears vanished. I knew he loved me.