Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo, Super Smash Bros. and any characters or franchises represented/appear in this story. I only own Nathaniel and the story. (When can I stop taking the disclaimer seriously?)
Chapter 7: I have a gun... and a jerk
"Dunno. Your choice," Crazy answered.
I glanced around the pavilion. There were three exits (four if you count the way we entered), north, east, and west. Blocking each exit, a Smasher Statue sat. The statue that had Mario would have blocked the south exit if it was still there.
"Well, I think we should take this one," I said, walking to the statue on the east. Checking the nameplate, I read:
Smasher No. 45
Villager
"Villager? He sounds pretty harmless."
"Nathaniel no. Stop!" Crazy began to run towards me but I already activated the statue. She smacked right into the wall that generated and I switched my Beam Sword with the Steel Diver. In place of the statue, after the light died down, a kid stood there.
He was about 5 and a half feet tall, wearing a red shirt with a blue number one on it. It looked somewhat cartoonish and I wouldn't immediately think of a fighter when I saw him but I would think the same of Mario.
I shot at him, firing a mini torpedo that sped through the air, which Villager somehow caught and put into his pocket. Shocked, I could only say, "Are you kidding me."
"I was trying to warn you," Crazy said from the other side of the wall, "Villager can pocket items or projectiles to use later but he can keep one thing in the pocket at a time."
"Great," I muttered dodging the torpedo that Villager threw back. Villager dashed towards me, pocketing another torpedo and dodging several others as I began to duel wield, the gun in my left hand and the sword in my other.
Shooting a few more times at Villager, I jumped over Villager as he threw what he already pocketed and I got a slash on his back. While he was flying, he pulled a slingshot out of his back pocket and got a shot off, hitting me in the forehead.
"Little brat," I growled, flinching from the hit. Locking eyes with Villager, I saw him pulling out a rocket (I have no idea where he kept that) and firing it at me. Leaping over the rocket, I saw that Villager was watering a small sapling, placed where I was going to land. Within seconds and defying nature itself, the sapling sprouted into a massive tree that struck me in the gut, hard.
"Watch out for Villager's axe! And don't get hit by the tree if he chops it down!" Crazy shouted.
I shot some more at Villager, watching him pocket the first and dodging the rest. Pulling out the rocket again, he began riding it at me. Charging quickly, I swung the Beam Sword at him, knocking Villager off the rocket and making it explode. I ran at Villager, trying to get another hit but I made a mistake. I forgot Crazy's warning.
Before the blade connected, I felt something cut across my stomach. I was sent flying back. Looking back at Villager, he had an axe in his hands and a violent glint in his eyes.
"Oh no."
He charged at me and I swung at him with my sword again, stretching the blade to hit. Villager put his arms up like he was trying to block a blow to the face and a gray bubble appeared around him. The bubble seemed to act as a shield as my sword didn't do any damage but made the bubble shrink a bit. Releasing the bubble, Villager resumed the charge.
"Well," a voice in my head commented, drawing out the well, "He has a shield to block your sword and he can catch your bullets. You're dead in the water."
"You're a donkey," I shot back mentally, quickly formulating a plan. I tossed my sword at Villager. Unfortunately, he pocketed it but he still got hit in the side of the head by a torpedo. I took the opportunity to shoot another one at him. While Villager can only pocket one thing at a time, I overlooked the fact Villager has two hands. He pulled the sword out and pocketed the torpedo.
"Good job," snarked the voice, "You gave him a weapon. Did I miss Christmas?"
"Nathaniel!" Crazy was digging around in her bag and throwing something through the wall, "Eat this!"
"It really is Christmas, isn't it?" the voice commented as I caught the item. I only saw a red and white cap before putting it in my mouth and swallowing. Instantly, I doubled in height.
"A Mushroom?" while my voice was usually a little deep, it now boomed. "All right then."
Villager tried running at me again to use the axe again but I just kicked him like a football, launching him into the wall and breaking apart into smoke. The Villager amiibo, my Beam Sword, and a sack of gold fell to the ground in place of a body.
"That was a bit anticlimactic," I commented, shrinking while I walked to pick up my reward.
"What are you doing?" Crazy asked.
"Putting my stuff away," I answered, a bit confused. "I can't just hold onto my gun everywhere I go, right?"
"It's sticking out of your pocket," as Crazy pointed out, it really was. Only part of the Steel Diver managed to fit in my pocket so half of it was poking out. "Just out it into your inventory."
"How do I do that?"
"Imagine a really big pocket or something behind you and place it in there," Crazy explained as I did what she said. The moment the gun left my hand, it suddenly vanished.
"Whoa! Wait. How do I get it out now?"
"Just reverse the process. Imagine the pocket with what you want inside and reach in to pull it out." I did as Crazy explained again to my amazement.
"I'm just not going to question the science of this," I said staring at the Steel Diver that I pulled out of thin air.
"It's a kind of magic that most residents of game worlds have. Since you're just starting, you can only carry about 10 items. There's exceptions for certain items like the amiibo and other important stuff called key items," patting her bag, Crazy added, "You can increase the limit of your inventory with certain items like my bag."
"I forgot, video game logic," I muttered, picking up the Villager amiibo and prepared to get my next memory.
Several images flashed through my mind restoring bits of my memory but only one stood out.
It was my first day of high school. Though technically, it was before school started and I was eating breakfast with my siblings. I was a nervous wreck.
"Oh come on Nate! There's nothing to be nervous of," my sister said.
"Easy for you to say, you're still in middle school. It's not as if you have any trouble making friends," I replied, taking a bite of cereal.
My brother tried reassuring me, "High school isn't like the movies Natey. No one's going to bully you. Even if there were bullies, they wouldn't notice you."
"That's not the issue. High school only lasts four years. After that I have to go college. Then, I have to go out into the world by myself and get a job. That might not even happen if I don't pick a major to study and a college to go to. Plus, my choices might not even matter if I don't pass my classes or get a good score on the SAT. Then, after I graduate there's the problem of the jobmarketmyskillsetmightnotbeenoughtosupportmeandI'llenuphomelessandtakingdrugsortherecouldbeanotherworldwarandwealldieinhorriblefirebombingsorwecouldgetdraftedtothefrontlinesa-"
"Nathaniel, it's 7 o'clock. That's too early for an existential crisis," my sister commented while lathering her toast liberally with butter. "Also, aren't you supposed to start having breakdowns after you start high school, not the morning you do?"
"Yep," my brother agreed.
"Ow," was all I could say with my injured pride. We finished breakfast and made last-minute preparations for school before we started to leave. As we made our way out the door, our mother stopped us.
"(static noises)! Nathan! (more static)! First-day-of-school pictures!" She gestured for us to group together in the doorway with a camera as we did every year. With a click, she captured our smiles as we went off to begin a new school year.
"Wait," I thought. "I don't remember their names? What's with that?"
"Is something wrong?" Crazy asked. She was behind me, probably while I was distracted by that memory.
"Nothing," I tossed the amiibo to her. No point in bothering her with my memory. I might remember their names from another smasher anyway. Gesturing at the other statues, "Should we go awaken those smashers?"
The answer to my question was a resounding boom. I spun trying to locate the source, before I heard Crazy cry out, "Brother!"
Glancing over to her, I saw that Crazy was staring at some spot above me. Following her line of sight, I saw a giant, white gloved right hand, floating in the sky.I whispered in awe, "Master Hand."
The giant hand snapped and I shielded myself. Instead of an attack, I heard a light ping and glanced back at Master Hand. He snapped again and vanished, leaving me to wonder, "What was the point of that?"
"To block us," Crazy answered, pointing at the other statues. I walked up to them but before I could touch one, I banged my head against something. "He put up barriers to block us from getting to the statues."
"So we just have to keep following the path we picked?" I asked.
"Unfortunately," she answered, walking off. "Come on!"
I jogged to catch up to her but eventually fell into pace behind her. Within moments of leaving the pavilion, we got attacked again. By more lasers.
"Ow! Ow ow ow! Wait," I said, pausing a moment from my injuries. "These don't hurt as much as R.O.B.'s"
I looked the path that the lasers would have traveled to see that it was another R.O.B. that fired the lasers with several differences. The first is that there were two this time. The second is that these were much smaller, below regular size. The third is that they were accompanied by another smasher, who looked like a yellow turtle with a bow in some floating robot clown face thingy.
Seeing my confused look, Crazy clarified for me, "The turtle is a koopaling named Wendy. You go attack, I'll shoot from here with my staff."
"Sounds like a plan to me," I responded, pulling out my Beam Sword and broke into a run down the hill. I sidestepped lasers from the robots and the occasional cannonball that Wendy fired from the clown's mouth. I saw lasers shoot over my head and hit the R.O.B.'s so I decided to focus on Wendy.
She pulled out a squeaky hammer but I decided to finish this quickly. I threw my sword at her to stun her and caught before it hit the ground, the same trick I pulled before. I swung at her with the blade landing a solid hit and kept my momentum going throwing the sword again before pulling the Steel Diver out to shoot several torpedos to rack up damage. Wendy landed on the ground and I charged up a smash attack, slashing with the Beam Sword's full length and power, causing Wendy to fall apart into smoke.
I heard a couple of explosions behind me, presumably the R.O.B.s. Picking up the gold that Wendy dropped, I commented, "That finished way faster than the previous fights."
"That's because they were all part of the same spirit," Crazy waved her arm at the rainbow orb that was floating about. "That caused them to all be somewhat weaker compared to the other Puppet Fighters."
"What about that Metal Mario which almost killed me?" I questioned as Crazy began to collect the spirit into her Switch. "It seemed too strong to be sharing a spirit but it was with those Yoshis."
"That's because the Mario did have it's own spirit. The Yoshis were sharing one spirit and the Mario had its own. You just don't remember what happened in the end since you fainted."
"Don't shame me over that," I turned to follow the path ahead of us. "Uh, Crazy. A little help with this please?"
In front of us, the path split in two, one running north and the other moving south. Along with the split was a sign post, with arrows following each of the road.
Normally, the signpost would be helpful since I had no idea where the paths led but there was a small problem. I couldn't read what was written on the signs. The signpost was written in something that vaguely reminded me of Japanese but also a bit of English.
My inner voice spoke up, "Here. I'll translate. You….. Are….. Stu-"
"Don't finish that," I interrupted.
"Did you say something?" Crazy asked as she looked over the signpost.
"Um, yeah. I'm just wondering what language this is."
Turning her attention back to the signpost, Crazy answered my question, "It's Hylian. This is a pretty ancient version of the dialect though."
She pointed south, "According to the sign, there's a shop and the shoreline that way." Pointing in the opposite direction, "Then, there's a raceway that way. Which do you feel like going to?"
"There's a shop? What would a shop even sell?" I gasped at a small hope, "Maybe they sell bazookas. I hope they sell bazookas."
"Why would you need a bazooka?" The voice in my head asked. "It would just be overkill."
Ignoring the voice for being a killjoy, I turned to Crazy, "Let's go south. The shop might have useful stuff."
"They would not have bazookas," she promptly stated before taking the path south.
"Next time, don't say stuff that makes you sound like a maniac out loud."
"Hush already," I said, quieting the voice while I jogged to catch up to Crazy.
Save File 2: Saved
Party: Nathaniel, Crazy Hand
Items: Beam Sword (N), Steel Diver (N), Staff (C)
Smashers: Mario, Kirby, Villager
Author's Theater:
MG: Truthfully, this chapter was a bit disappointing after last week's chapter. Plus the last fight was a bit rushed so I might just edit this one at some point in the future.
Nathaniel: Stop making excuses and do it then!
MG: *ignoring the fact Nathaniel is tied up and hanging feet first from the ceiling* On a different note, Happy Holidays again! This is probably going to be the last chapter of the year so, Happy New Year while we're at it!
Crazy: *sipping hot chocolate* Before we end, how about a question for the readers. You guys can put your answer in the reviews but what's a resolution that you're making for 2019? You don't have to answer, I'm asking out of curiosity is all.
