Chapter Seven
The Doctor didn't eat dinner that night. It wasn't necessarily that he wasn't hungry as far as she knew, it was more that he couldn't hold a piece of cutlery (or much of anything) properly.
Donna hadn't really known he had broken fingers until her granddad began splinting them to stop them from getting worse. His thumbs were also out of commission. She knew he healed fast, the bruise on his eye from where Ianto had hit him had almost faded completely now, so she wasn't too worried about it.
She was, however, worried that he might leave sometime during the middle of the night, since he was completely sure that she wasn't friends with him anymore. And Jack, Jack was trying his best to get a conversation going, but was failing horribly at it.
They were all in her room now, the Doctor lying on the side of her bed closest to the wall, back facing them, and every now and then a huge sigh would be heard from him. Jack was in the chair by her desk, and she was sitting on the side of her bed closest to her lamp, the book she was in the middle of reading unopened on her lap.
She couldn't stop her eyes from wandering to the Doctor's back.
Well, she had at least heard the conversation from earlier and was happy that he was admitting he needed help now, but why didn't he feel like he could talk to her anymore?
"Well, fine. I'm out guys. I'm reduced to sleeping on a couch I hear. Night Doctor, Donna."
She turned to look at the man retreating from the room and sighed herself. "Night Jack."
The Doctor didn't say anything, but neither of them was really expecting him to.
In his defence, he had been having a bad day. First with the trains, then with the anger. If she was him, she didn't know how she'd be acting. For one thing, she didn't think she would have left the room. She would have taken her anger out on the people around her, because that's what she was used to doing, and by the mess his hands were in, he had gotten to the point where he had to physically release his anger, and not just yell.
Sighing and even though it was still early that night, she turned off her light and turned to face his back. Creeping closer, not knowing how he'd react to being touched, she let her hand gently rest between his shoulder blades and left it there. Apart from tensing up, he didn't shrug out of her grip, so she gently began rubbing in relaxing circles.
"You know I'm still your friend right? I'm not going to leave you, Doctor."
There was silence for a bit, before he shifted slightly and finally, after she had announced her presence to him again after he had fled the house, talked to her. "I don't know what I said. I could say something, not mean it and drive you away forever. I don't know what I'd do without you, but..."
"You afraid?" she asked, because she wanted to hear him say it, even though she knew already that he was. He can't be alone. He was lonely enough as it was, and he had lost Rose and wasn't likely to get her back. Well, she wasn't going to leave. She was going to stay with him forever. Well, her forever anyway, she knew she wouldn't live as long as he or Jack would.
"Yeah. I'm calling Martha tomorrow."
She nodded and rubbed at his back a bit more. She didn't know whether or not to believe him. He had said a similar thing to her once before, the night of the attack on that bus. It was now almost a whole week passed and he had yet to do it.
"Want me to make sure you actually do?" she asked, stopping the movements of her hand as she felt him stiffen under her touch again. After a bit he let himself calm down and he sighed again, a deep mournful sound.
"Yeah. Maybe it would be a good idea if you did..."
She smiled. Yeah. She could do it. She'd even go in with him if he needed someone there for support, though she had a bit of an aversion to therapists herself after she stopped seeing the one after her dad died. The point was, he wasn't chucking a fit because she had brought it up.
Maybe he was really ready for it. Today must have scared him a lot more than she had first thought, if he had actually decided voluntarily that, yes, he needed help.
They fell into silence, all the time Donna rubbing at his back, until she heard the change in his breathing that indicated that he had fallen asleep.
He was doing that an awful lot lately, sleeping. He didn't need as much as she did, but it seemed he couldn't get enough. And the poor man was having terrible nightmares too. Maybe that was why he was sleeping so much. He wasn't getting any actual rest.
She had almost fallen asleep herself when he mumbled something in his sleep, turned over and cuddled up to her side. Her eyes popped open and she looked at the top of his head, which was laying somewhere he shouldn't by rights touch in a friendly matter. But he had quieted after he squirmed around a bit to get comfortable, sighed and then he seemed to sink into a deeper sleep.
She decided just for this night that he could stay where he was. If he was sleeping soundly, then she didn't want to wake him.
Maybe the sound of a heartbeat near his ears helped calm him down?
Either way, she was asleep before he moved again.
She woke up to find him still asleep, with the sun now beginning to shine through the cracks in her blind, one of his legs flung over hers, one of his arms around her waist, but his head lying comfortably on the pillow.
Oh god, she was his substitute pillow. How could she have forgotten he'd been sleeping with one of those hugged close to him since that damned planet? She should have given him one before he fell asleep, instead of just the ones to rest their heads on.
Her musings were cut short when he rolled over and yawned loudly. He then went about burying his head in the pillow and when that failed to get him back to sleep he turned to look at her. She recognised that look. He was being overly shy about this.
"Morning Sunshine! Speaking of, sun's up. You slept all night."
He blinked, looked to her window and blinked again. "I did? Oh. Suppose that's good then. Needed that. A bit. Sort of. Probably fell into a light healing sleep to help with my hands."
He held them up, and wiggled his thumbs. His fingers were still splinted, but he could probably use them too. She pointed to them. "Want those off?"
"The splints yes. I like my fingers where they are though, thanks."
She rolled her eyes. "Of course I'm talking of the splints, you dunce. What is it with you thinking I'm going to rip parts off of you? That better be an alien thing."
He grinned at her, and it was the normal cheeky grin that means he's been up to some form of mischief and she knew he hadn't meant it really. He'd been joking around. She punched him lightly on the arm, but smiled back.
How could she not? He was acting so normal right now.
She wondered how long it would last.
His fingers were held out in front of him, and she went about freeing them from each other so they were free to move about. She remembered when she had broken a finger in school once. How annoying it was to have one finger tied to another to keep it from moving.
The look of relieved delight in his eyes made her smirk. "God, sometimes the smallest things can get you excited. Well, at least you'll be able to eat now. Proper breakfast today if I know my mum. And believe me I do."
A green tinge made it over his face, but he managed to shrug it off and nod. "Cooking...don't know how much I'll be able to eat, though I am a bit hungry. Bad experience with breakfast yesterday...I think I managed to lose all of it."
"You'll eat. And you didn't have dinner last night. You haven't been eating right since we got to Torchwood."
She watched as the Doctor grimaced in distaste. "Yeah. I haven't really been that hungry, and even when I am, I can't eat too much without feeling sick."
Seeing him slip out of the good mood he had woken in was rather depressing, and in an effort to perk him back up again, she smiled and dragged him into a hug. "Well, if you don't want any of what mum cooks, you can always have a slice of toast. Or cereal."
That last seemed to lift his mood a bit. "Cereal? Ooh, haven't had any of that in...ages. Hah! Fruit loops, and cocoa puffs, I liked them. Got them?"
"Nah, just muesli, a few kinds of different porridges, and corn flakes."
He blinked. "Porridge and muesli are classed as cereals? Or is it just that you eat them from a bowl?"
Shrugging, Donna let him go. "Dunno. I just go for the corn flakes." Getting out of bed, she grabbed some clean clothes from her dresser and frowned. "Did Jack pack for you? Cause I didn't. And I doubt mum'd be too happy with you wearing the same suit, which by the way, you also slept in, today."
She waited for his answer, but only got a blank look and a shrug. Rolling her eyes, Donna left him alone in her room and went to the bathroom. After a shower, she found she was ready to face the day and hopefully whatever it would bring.
Funny, she could fight off aliens, run a hell of a lot faster than she used to be able to, and could name planets most people hadn't even heard of, but she was getting a bit worried about what kind of moods the Doctor would swing blindly into.
Donna was immensely grateful that he had actually admitted that he wasn't exactly able to cope with this on his own. And that reminded her...she had to tell him to call Martha sometime today, so he would.
He wasn't in her room when she got back in there, but she did hear Jack greeting him quite loudly a good morning, and sniggered at the thought of the Captain rummaging through the bag for a suit the Doctor could wear.
By the time, she was downstairs, she saw that a brown suit was in hand and the Doctor was retreating to the bathroom to shower and change. Jack was picking out his own shirt and a pair of black jeans, throwing a mint in his mouth while doing so.
The shower turned on, and Donna let herself relax. "He seems better today. He didn't wake up in a terrible mood, and he slept all night."
Jack nodded and smiled at her. "Yeah. Fingers are healed too I spotted. Must have gotten some proper rest for once."
"He used me as a pillow."
She hadn't meant it as a joke, or in a funny way, but Jack laughed and winked at her. "You sure you didn't tire him out before he went to sleep?"
Slapping him on the arm, Donna frowned. "We aren't having sex. We're just friends. We'll always be just friends. How come everyone always assumes we're a couple? Or married. Doctor Noble indeed."
Jack grinned even wider. "Married?"
Before she could do any real bodily harm, the shower turned off and she shut her mouth and lowered her arm. Best not let the Doctor see them fighting. It might upset him. That was not something she wanted to do, since it took a lot to get his mood up.
She sat on the couch next to Jack, hearing her mum in the kitchen muttering to herself about ungrateful children using up all the hot water. Donna couldn't help but laugh as silently as possible at that, because she knew that the Doctor was the oldest being in the house, Jack second and then her gramps.
Being friends with someone almost 1000 years old and another one who will live practically forever, there's no way you can call them children no matter how young they may look.
And speaking of...the Doctor walked in, dressed in his brown suit, drying his hair with a towel. He spotted her and Jack on the couch, smiled and let himself sit down beside her. "Hello. Again."
"Breakfast's being made," she said, as her second greeting that morning, throwing her head to one side, in the direction of the kitchen, where the smells of cooking bacon was coming from. The radio had been turned on, and they listened to her mum, as she sang out of key to some new pop song she hadn't heard.
She'd been too busy running around the universe to bother even knowing what songs were 'in' now. Didn't matter now, what she did was better than sitting at a desk day in, day out, occasionally in a place that allows music.
She wondered vaguely if there were any jobs apart from Torchwood where Defender of the Universe could be used to get into a job, if written on a resume. Ooh, there was always UNIT. That's where Martha had gone.
Still, she'd prefer to stick with the Doctor, keeping him from too much trouble. She was apparently good at it, though god knew why. For a genius, the Doctor could sure be thick.
How boring had her life been before the Doctor? And the awful thing was, she had never complained about it. She'd just gone on and lived her life like a good little human drone. Out of work, she was stuck on the dole and living with her mother. With a job, she managed to scrounge up enough for a one-bedroom small flat until the position was not needed any more, or she was replaced.
She hadn't been replaced too many times, mainly her job was made redundant. Her typing count was way too high for her not to be popular with a temping position.
Still, her boring life, with her boring and numerous amounts of jobs had given her useful skills. She just had never realised that they could be used to such good in doing huge, important things.
Shaking her head, she let herself sigh and forget about mundane things in favour of something much more important: getting the Doctor to eat. He was skinny enough as it is. He'd turn into literal nothingness if he stopped now.
"Do you think I could just have toast?" she heard the Doctor ask, looking at his feet as he said it. When he looked back up and in her direction, she saw that he had turned rather pale. She knew then and there he'd never be able to eat the bacon.
"Yeah, but you better eat it and keep it down today, you hear? You're going to disappear if you lose weight."
Jack chuckled and nodded. "She's right you know, you really don't want to get any skinnier than you already are, Doc."
The Doctor folded his arms roughly about his chest and glared at both of them in turn, before sniffing and holding his head up. "I'm naturally skinny. Not my fault this is how I regenerated. What? You think I've always been a 'stick'?" He made gestures in the air at the stick part.
Donna let her lips thin as she looked at him. She knew what regeneration was. He'd explained it, and in a way so had Martha, when they had been on Messaline and Jenny was dying from the gunshot wound. "I know what regeneration is Doctor, you told me remember. Jenny..."
"Shut up! Don't talk about her," the Doctor said quietly, almost under his breath in a voice that was too calm. He was getting angry.
"Fine. I won't then, but Doctor, not eating isn't good for you, like not eating isn't good for us."
He shifted, decided to lean against her and close his eyes. "I know. Just...please don't mention Jenny again, alright? I'm feeling bad enough as it is without your help."
Jack leant over her and planted a kiss on the Doctor's cheek. The Doctor let him do it. Donna wondered, not for the first time, just how close those two have been in the past. Or the future for that matter. Time travel made the entire concept of time go pear shaped for her.
"You think you could take gramps to Venus? He seems to love that place," she said, trying to change the subject to something that would make the Doctor smile, or babble on tirelessly. His eyes lit up.
"Ooooh, Venus. Yes I can do that. I like Venus. They have great spearmint in case you wanted to know, and there are quite a few Venusian arts that you should really learn. Some of the greatest artwork in history comes from that planet. Oh! Venusian style karate too. Haven't used that in...ooh, centuries. My personal linear time. "
"What are you three nattering on about in here, then?" came the voice of her mum, as she stepped into the lounge room, pan in hand, ready to dish out breakfast. "Breakfast's ready. Get a move on."
"The Doctor's having toast mum, he's not feeling good."
For a second, it looked like a screaming match would start, but her mum took a good look at the Doctor's pale face, rolled her eyes and tutted. "Fine. Your other friend here, Jack, you like bacon? You're getting the extras. I'm not giving any of this to your grandfather."
Jack grinned at her in as gorgeous a way as possible. "Ma'am, my grandfather isn't born yet. Which is kind of strange and odd and quite distorting the realms of time, but I do that a lot."
"Jack, behave," came the low voice of the Doctor, though Donna could definitely hear humour in the tone he used.
Donna rolled her eyes. "Yes, Jack'll have the extra bacon. And I've done my own bit of running around in the 51st century mister, so don't think I don't know what you're going on about."
"Oh, listen to her, Miss travels through time."
She stared at her mum, turned to look at Jack and the Doctor each in turn, before she and the others started laughing. She had forgotten she hadn't told her mum. Her gramps knew, sure, being the nut about space that he was, but her mum...
"Aww, we should so take you for a small trip," she said, only to have the Doctor wildly shaking his head.
"Oh no! I took Rose's mum for a trip once, and that was accidentally too mind you. Sure it was only to a different part of London, but then that led to the Battle at Canary Wharf. So, yeah, mothers on board equals not a good idea, thanks very much."
Donna frowned. Since travelling with the Doctor, she had heard a lot more about Rose. It was plainly obvious he was still crazy for her too. And she knew that it had been that particular battle that had ended with them being separated.
She hoped that one day they did meet again. Oh, to be around when that happens would be marvellous.
"Still, I think I'm going to stay clear away from the 51st century as much as the Doctor here is going to stay clear of Midnight."
The Doctor grinned and nodded, ignoring her comment about Midnight. "Oh yeah. You didn't sleep without a light on for...oh, at least a month after that. I kept on telling you that nothing would happen, but nope, didn't believe me. The TARDIS would have said if there was a flesh eating shadow on board."
"Ooh, Vashta Nerada? Really? Where was this?" Jack said, leaning on Donna, to get closer to the Doctor.
"The Library," both she and the Doctor said at the same time. While both of them had dealt with some of the issues that their stay at the Library had given them, Donna didn't bother telling the Doctor that occasionally she still slept with the lights on after a bad day of almost getting killed.
Those were the days she longed Lee was by her side so she could cuddle up and forget her troubles. "I still miss Lee. Is that...normal?"
"The three of you are talking nonsense. And whose Lee?" her mother demanded, glaring at her from the kitchen.
She rolled her eyes. "If you must know, he was my husband. We had two children together...a boy and a girl...I can't remember what their names were, if they had names to begin with. They weren't real. But Lee was, I know it."
Sylvia rolled her eyes, and strode back into the kitchen. "Well hurry up and get out here then, breakfast is getting cold now."
They hurried. Nothing else they could do with her mother breathing down their backs. The Doctor went to the toaster and popped in two slices of bread when he had found where the loaves were kept, while the rest of them sat around the table. He nibbled on a banana while he waited. Well, at least he was voluntarily eating. That was good, some days she still had to force him to eat.
He joined them a few minutes later, munching almost happily on his marmalade covered pieces of toast. He'd finished the banana.
Breakfast was usually a horrid time of day for Donna, filled with her mum going on about doing nothing with her life. Because of company here, her mother decided not to today, and Donna was grateful for it, because she hated being let down so much. It made her feel worthless, and she knew that out there with the Doctor was the one time she wasn't.
Donna washed up afterwards, feeling even more ready for the day now she had something in her stomach and the Doctor was still in a good mood.
She wondered how long it would last, as she would go tell the Doctor to call Martha as soon as she was done putting the dishes away.
Just because she had something that could spoil the day right in front of her, the everyday chore seemed to go twice as fast, just because she wanted it to go slower.
When the last plate was put away, she frowned, and walked outside, where the Doctor was talking animatedly to Jack and her gramps. The frown loosened and soon became a smile. He was acting so bloody normal, and she was about to ruin that. She didn't know how to act about him, so did the first thing that came into her mind. "Oi, Doctor. Don't forget to call Martha. Now would be better, before she gets too busy."
He froze for a second, looked over at her and smiled. "Yeah. Umm, phone..." He rummaged about in his pockets, before pulling out an old black mobile which she hadn't seen before. She hadn't even known he had one of his own.
He must have seen her staring because he grinned in his cheeky little way. "It was a present from the good Captain here, when we were on...business with a Slitheen in Cardiff a few years back. I was the only one without a phone."
Jack grinned. "Heh, that was with Rose and Mickey. You were all big ears and leather jacket back then too."
He grimaced as he dialled Martha's number. "Don't remind me of that me. I think this regeneration is a little better than that one. I have hair! Martha! Hello!"
With that, Donna smiled, sat down and decided to enjoy the day.
A warm arm circling around her waist woke her up, and the first thing her eyes saw as she blinked them lazily open was Tom grinning at her. They had the day off today, her having called in sick, and Tom being given the day off.
A nice day, a fun day. A day for lazing in bed all morning with the man she was going to marry. Grinning, she wrapped one of her arms around Tom's chest, leaned forward and gave him a kiss in that way which meant that soon they'd be doing much more energetic things. Being busy with UNIT, and Tom having just gotten back from his trip overseas, they hadn't really had time to themselves.
Now they had it and she wasn't going to waste it on work.
Before anything more interesting than a kiss had happened, the phone rang. Her mobile, which was even worse than the home phone. Home phone would mean family or friend, mobile meant work related.
She let her head rest heavily on Tom's chest, and groaned at the unwanted distraction, but got up to check who it was anyway.
If anything, it was giving Tom a good show, as she still hadn't gotten changed since crawling into bed the night before. Picking up the phone, she answered it with an almost growled out "Yes?"
"-ave hair! Martha! Hello!"
Martha blinked, looked at the number and saw that it wasn't her old mobile's number, and shrugged. Maybe the Doctor had a phone of his own. "Doctor? There isn't some kind of alien emergency that UNIT doesn't know of yet, is there?"
"No, don't be silly. Just...just calling an old friend. See how you are, hear all the latest gossip. Ask about the fiancé. Umm, I interrupted something didn't I?"
"Yes, if you must know, you did."
"Oh, oops. Sorry. Still, this is rather important, I think. Well, Donna thinks." A muffled voice on the other end of the phone was heard. "Ow! Donna! Yes, well, it's rather...important."
Sighing, Martha went to her door, pulled on her dressing gown and wandered into the kitchen to see what was for breakfast. "What is it then?"
There was a lengthy silence. Something was happening in the background, but the Doctor wasn't saying anything. Whether or not that was good was yet to be heard. She had gotten the milk out of the fridge, poured herself a glass, and put toast in the toaster before she heard him sigh. "Sorry, just wanted this to be private. Donna told me the two of you talk every now and then. Which is good! It is. It's very, very good. For the both of you. Umm, she told me that you and your family are going to a therapist from UNIT."
Martha rolled her eyes. "Yeah, nothing wrong with that. And don't try to get all guilty about it or anything. It's just sometimes the best thing to do is speak about what troubles you, unlike a certain Time Lord I know who doesn't say a word in lots."
There was another pause, this one smaller and much more uncomfortable than the first. "I didn't call to give you, your family or myself a guilt trip. I called...well, that is, I called for...just... See! This is the reason why I don't speak about the important stuff, because I can never get it out."
Tom came out from the bedroom keen on having his own breakfast now that their time in bed was over and done with for the morning. Well, there was always after breakfast for that and other places too. "Oh? Just tell me what it is you called for." Tom kissed her on the side of the neck and made her giggle. "Sorry Doctor, Tom just got up."
"Oh! Well tell him I say hi, and that I'll meet him one day soon. Haven't exactly got the TARDIS with me at the moment, but that's alright, except that means more trains, and if they happen to be on the Underground routes I hate them just so you know."
Battering Tom out of the way, watching as he walked to the fridge, wearing nothing but his boxer shorts, she grinned. "You are avoiding the question. And I will. Just...wait a sec. Tom! The Doctor says hello and he wants to meet you!" Tom grinned and nodded back at her. Well, that was informative. "There, happy? Now will you tell me?"
"I want the number."
He said it so fast and so quietly that she almost didn't catch what he had said. Frowning, picking up the toast and undoing the jam lid, she picked up a knife before asking, "The number to what?"
"The therapist..."
Her hand slipped and pasted her fingers with processed strawberries. "Say again? For who?"
"For me..."
She dropped the knife and held the phone in her non sticky hand, while gesturing madly for Tom to turn on the taps so she could rinse her hand under water. "Oh. Wow, and one minute ago you were saying you couldn't...why?"
The Doctor coughed quietly on the other end, and she could hear his embarrassment through the small sound. With the way he was about talking about important things, she knew it must have taken a lot of guts for him to even pick up the phone to ask for such a thing.
"Something bad. I'll tell you later. Since everyone seems so keen to know. First Donna, then Jack and you'll probably be next. But I really can't keep on like I am. It's like the Time War all over again..."
The Time War? She remembered what it had been like travelling with him when he was pretending to be happy and like he had everything, before he had told her about Gallifrey and his people being destroyed. For a bit he had even managed to pull it off. But as soon as he had gotten talking...it was like he was a completely different person.
Now he was willing to call her up for the one therapist who wouldn't lock him up for being crazy because he was going through after effects again? Did something trigger him that badly? Did he go up against that last Dalek again? He had tried to commit suicide last time...
"Was it Daleks?" she asked quietly.
"No, not Daleks. Actually it was humans. Normal, everyday humans like you and Tom, Jack and Donna. Well, apart from, you know, you lot being better than them, by a long shot."
He was differentiating now. Humans were never put into categories like that with him. Sure some made wrong choices and were bad, and others decided not to choose and others were likely to save the world through a series of actions that would make the Doctor proud, but they were all just that. Humans. Good, bad, neutral, crazy, sane, it didn't matter. He loved them all. And now he was putting his companions into a separate category than every other human out there.
That wasn't good.
"What did they do to you? What the hell did they do?!"
He sighed. "I don't want to talk about this over the phone. I'm at Donna's house, visiting her family while the TARDIS is...busy in Cardiff."
"That's in Chiswick right?"
"Yep."
She closed her eyes and sighed, throwing out the pieces of toast she had made. She wasn't hungry anymore. "If you are out the front, I'll be over shortly. I'll get the address from UNIT."
There was another quick pause. "You...you're coming over now? Today? I was pretty sure I was going to go back to Cardiff today, see if the old girl's ready for travel yet."
Martha rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and I'm not giving you the number in any other way than to your face. And it'll be good to see Donna again."
The Doctor cleared his throat a bit on the other end. "Martha...are you mad at me for something?"
That startled her, because she wasn't. Yet again with the way she had worded that last maybe to him it sounded like she wanted to see Donna and not him. "No. Got no reason to be. It'll be good to see you too. I'm just worried that's all. I want to see how you are doing."
He snorted into the phone, which was rather odd, before sighing. "Oh, yeah, you know me, always bouncing back, except when I don't. I'm going through some extremely over the top moods, panic attacks, flashbacks...crying. Other than that, I'm fine."
Other than that? "What did they do to you?" she asked again, this time it was barely a whisper and she was amazed he heard it.
"I'll tell you later. Bye."
Before she had a chance to tell him not to hang up, he had. She had raced into her bedroom, gotten dressed and was rummaging around for her car keys before she remembered Tom. She grimaced at thinking of how her life seemed so divided sometimes. "You want to come with me?" she asked, on the way out the door, and with a small nod, he followed her out.
Well, at least all her home life would now coincide with the Doctor.
At least something good was coming out of this mess.
