Disclaimer: I neither own Reign, nor profit from this story.
Feeling heat rise to her cheeks Catherine could feel Henry's eyes on her, probably laughing internally.
Knowing that Henry would answer if she didn't, she decided on the simplest answer and hoped that it would go no farther. "Yes my darling, but we kiss in secret so that we don't cause a scandal in the court."
"Well then, there is no one else around, if you kiss him here there will be no one to see…mother please?"
Henry knew she would never refuse her children such an innocent request.
She she turned to him and he tried but failed miserably to hide the grin that threatened.
Her face was conflicted, how she kept managing to get herself into these situations was beyond her understanding, but there was nothing to be done about that now.
She just stood there, looking up at him, frozen under his gaze.
Henry stared into her hazel orbs to find the final permission he needed. She took in a breath as if to say something, but nothing came out. Her lips still parted as if the words had been stolen right from her lips. Slowly, Henry lowered his head down toward her and brought his hand up to frame her face.
It was not a long kiss, nor particularly…involved, but it was one of their most intimate embraces he could remember them ever sharing.
Pulling back Henry kept his gaze locked with hers as the children surrounded them at the surprise of seeing their parents embrace for the first time, at least it was a first for the younger ones.
"Now you have to tell mother that you love her father, or why would you be kissing her like that?"
Catherine closed her eyes as the dissonance of that statement caused her chest to tighten. "Charles my love, there is no one way for two people to embrace, even married people."
Beginning to turn away and out of Henry's grasp, head lowered slightly, Catherine's breath caught when Henry denied her the escape and embraced her shoulders to turn her back to him. Her head snapped back to find his gaze and silently pleaded with him to go no further.
"Henry…"
"How could I possibly be so remiss son, you are of course you are correct." Pulling her close with a hand around her waist and threading the fingers of the other hand through her hair, he drew her in once more and kissed her tenderly. The embrace was again short but Catherine felt like she would melt into a puddle right there. When he pulled back he uttered the requested sentiment as if she was the most precious treasure in the world. "I love you Catherine."
Caught up in the moment, Catherine nearly choked on her own words as they exited her mouth, "You are the love of my life." Her emotions were so close to the surface they were rolling over her in waves.
"Now me mother, tell me how much you love me!"
The children crowded in all the more, each making their own request but to Catherine the world had slowed to a snail's crawl. She couldn't breathe.
She eventually forced herself to respond, kneeling down to greet them all one by one, but it was largely by wrote. Her mind had fled to a far away place where she and her husband were young and in love, where they hadn't inflicted all of the wounds they had over the years. Where she might have even trusted him…
As it was almost time for the children to transition back into their usual schedule, their nannies and governesses began trickling in to take them away to their afternoon activities.
She rose from her place near the floor and stared at the door long after they left finding herself again unable to move.
Placing a hand on her shoulder, Henry grimaced when the gesture caused his wife to jump.
"I never though I was so terrifying to you Catherine."
"Always Henry, you are my greatest weakness…except for maybe the children. But also my greatest teacher, of what it means to survive in such an unforgiving loveless marriage.
"I have always loved you!"
"You have always loved the idea of love, of a wife, of having someone to share your life with who is tied to you and cannot abandon you. But you have never been able to manage the commitment that goes along with that love. Even after I had done my duty as your Queen you…"
"I tried to find you through your self doubt and fear Catherine, but you wouldn't let me!" he finished for her grasping her arm to turn her back to him.
The pain that she saw etched in his eyes surprised her, had she really blinded herself to what her obsession had done to him?
"You may have not left, but for years you were as cold as ice. You were so consumed by what you viewed as your failure, but I didn't care about that. All I wanted was my wife to return to me…body and soul!"
Wrenching herself out of his grip she responded, "I can't do this right now Henry please just leave me be."
"And there you go again, running away."
His words halted her more firmly than his grasp ever could.
"Yes Henry, you have had your pound of flesh for the day, and in front of the children no less. Now I am going to go back to my rooms and lick my wounds. If you will excuse me, unless I am otherwise told I will be sure to to see you later tonight as per your orders."
"Walk out that door Catherine and I will walk you back to the tower myself."
Sighing she took a moment to fully consider her options before turning back into the room and walking around to tidy up the small space.
"Catherine what are you doing."
"Well I still need to collect myself and they children left quite a mess."
"Catherine will you please stop running away!"
"Will you stop dangling my life in front of me like the necklaces you dangle as apologies for Diane? At least when you give her things there aren't any morbidly fatal catches involved."
Turning to face him fully she continued. "Actually Henry, here is a better idea. I will go back to my rooms, under guard of course, you can keep me sequestered in there all you want. I will continue in my duties so that the country does not completely fall apart, and you can continue to enjoy your indulgences. Then everything will go back to the way it was and…"
Striding up to her until he was nearly on top of her he finally asked, "Is that really what you want Catherine? For things to go back to the way they were? Do you really not want to give us another chance?"
"What I want is to not constantly feel the need to curl up in my bed and cry myself to sleep, but that is so rarely an option that I have simply accepted the fact that as Queen it is not to be. As tempting as it is to indulge in such fantasies, I simply haven't the energy or the time."
Frustrated, Henry scrubbed his hand over his face and sighed. "Am I a fantasy? Have these last couple of days been a fantasy? Are you so consumed by your fear and doubt that you cannot even give this a chance?"
"Henry in as far as I can be certain, you are still planning to killing me! In what fantasy might anyone find solace where this is the probable end result!"
Grabbing her hand he marched her right out the door and back to his chambers. Protesting the whole way but stymied by his iron grip, Catherine's frustration grew exponentially.
Finally making it into his rooms and through to his bedchamber Henry swung her around to the side of his bed and lifted her to sit on the mattress.
"Stay," he commanded, which only added fuel to her fire.
As she now had an audience that wasn't moving so fast that she couldn't catch her breath Catherine began to protest in earnest. Henry in response cupped his hand over her mouth and when she still went on he removed his hand and kissed her instead.
When she finally stopped fighting he pulled back and continued, "I can do this all day Catherine."
"You advisors…"
"Will be either amused that I finally decided to act like a true husband and put you in your place, or annoyed at how soft hearted I have become because of what I have to offer you…it is your choice how the tale of the afternoon will play out."
"Fine Henry, tell me of this grand plan of yours, she replied flatly."
Moving over to his nightstand he opened the small drawer and removed a rolled, sealed paper. Returning to her he waited to catch her eye before handing it over.
Curious at his complete silence she unrolled the paper and glanced at the writing inside.
It was a full pardon, no strings attached.
Reading it through several more time to be sure her eyes were not deceiving her, she finally looked up at him and inquired, "When did you have this written?"
"Since the beginning of this whole fiasco."
"But…"
"I never wanted to kill you, I want you…need you by my side. But between Mary's posturing, and your scheming…"
Kneeling before her but keeping is gaze firmly fixed on hers he continued, "While I hope this changes something for you, this changes nothing for me. I still want you back. I want a wife that I can trust and love who will trust and love me back. I want you Catherine, wholly and truly, I want to call you mine."
Removing the document from her hands and placing it on the bed, he held her hands in his and continued, "Not because of some paper that says we are wed. Not because of your duty as my Queen, not because we share the parentage of the heirs of France, but because I love you and I want this to work. I want us!"
Biting her lip as she considered his words, his gesture of the pardon, his actions over the past days. It had certainly been a whirlwind…to go from shackled and condemned to now free with the possibility of new hope. Henry seemed sincere, but could she trust him? Could she truly risk her heart even one more time?
Rising, Henry approached her slowly. Cupping her face like he had while they were with the children, he looked deeply into her eyes and once again entreated her with a kiss.
It wasn't demanding, but it was full of feeling.
It wasn't meant to dominate, but it was sure and full of desire.
She felt cherished and wanted…loved.
Finally slowing and eventually pulling back, he looked into her eyes to try and discern what she was thinking…she looked lost.
Stepping back, to give her room to breathe Henry drew her hands to his lips and kissed them reverently. "I will give you time to consider this my love, but I anxiously wait your decision and hope that this evening you will allow me to be graced by the honor of your presence."
With this he turned to walk out, leaving her speechless.
She certainly had much to consider.
