Dear Readers-
The time has come, the final chapter. The final countdown. This has been one crazy adventure. An adventure of two years or so! First of all, I'd like to apologize on behalf of the fact that I have a horrible case of writers block which can either last for a couple days or nearly a year. You, lovely readers, don't deserve that. For that, I sincerely apologize once again.
I suppose this is my goodbye to you all. It's been a lovely time reading your comments and thoughts as to what was going to happen next. (Perhaps that may even give me enough passion to write another series of this nature.) Maybe, maybe not. You'll have to keep in touch with me to find out!
I would like to thank the following people for being incredibly dedicated to this story, because it truly means a lot to me:
Firstly, to ImpossibleClara9: Your kind words lit up my day, thank you for standing by me all this time! You've simply always been incredibly interested, and I was very lucky to have a reader like you read my story.
Next, to i-ate-the-biscuit, I am glad that my story made you happy! It's so exciting that a simple story could have possibly lit up someone's day. To make an impact in someone's life... That is truly the best gift of being a writer.
To the lovely, Jammy-Dodgerz, I'm glad you found Sherlock and Amy to be believable. It was quite difficult to write her, seeing as she's so different than myself. I do hope that I end up writing more of her, seeing as you liked it. :)
PartnersInEverythingButCrime: I also mildly ship Molly and The Doctor after this. I think it was unintentional, but hey... One can never know when their OTPs will jump out at them. Perhaps I'll write more of the two of them together. It's a fun dynamic.
Usah: I will never give up on a story, not when I have readers waiting to hear what I have to say! Or... I'll try my best not to. Haha. :)
Sage (sassywriterchick): You are an incredible young woman, and I am always lucky to have you handing me praise in neatly wrapped containers. I don't deserve it, if anything you deserve the praise. Keep up the fantastic work, and thank you for being an amazing friend!
And last, but certainly not least, Nataly SkyPot, you have no idea how much I have laughed at your consistent "Muy Bueno"'s to each chapter of this story. They were what I looked forward to every time I would post a chapter of this madness.
And as well as my dear friend Angie for proof reading this one last time. (You are a true gift to this world, my friend.)
That is not even mentioning my lovely favouriters and followers and Guests that have put so much effort into making me smile after I write a chapter and post it. Without you, there would hardly be a story here at all!
But without further ado, the finale of It Was An Accident, I Swear!
The Doctor POV
My breath caught in my throat.
It felt like I would never breath again.
Did I hear John right? Were my ears deceiving me? Amy and Rory were… I couldn't even think it. I couldn't even comprehend what he had spoken. Out of everyone… All my so called 'companions'. Out of all my friends. The Ponds?
"John…" My voice cracked.
He looked frozen. Shock, horror. His whole face was contorted in shame.
But he needed to say something. He had to. He couldn't just leave it at that. And he wasn't the type of man to lie on the spot. To give hope where there wasn't any. He was John Watson, the author of the Sherlock Holmes books… Err… The Sherlock Holmes blog? He wasn't about to lie about something that he knew to be so incredibly important to me.
Or at least, I hoped he wouldn't.
"Doctor…" He swallowed, his brow furrowed. He couldn't meet my eyes. Well, if I was giving similar information I don't think I would be able to meet someone's eyes either. Then and again, I would probably lie to get out of the situation and take whoever it was to another planet to take their mind off of the fact. It was rule number one, after all. The Doctor always lies. "...I'm so sorry."
I hadn't moved from my place in the doorway. Not wanting anyone to listen to our rather intimate conversation, I stepped out into the cool air and closed the door behind myself. It was so different out here than it was inside.
Inside, it was heated, one could easily forget all of one's problems. It was happy, pure. It was what a wedding should be. The joining of two families. But out here? Problems seemed to come from nowhere. Out of the darkness like nightmares in a child's imagination. Or rather, shoved in your face by a rather tiny doctor.
John clasped his hands together behind his back, his whole posture getting rather stiff and army like. Was this what happened when he actually had to confirm bad news? Was there an option to receive the good news before the bad news? He seriously doubted it.
"Doctor… You asked how I knew who you were… Well, you visited me. I suppose, you will visit me. And you will give me the news of the Pond's... Deaths." He paused, looking at my face carefully to gage if I was going to freak out or not. It must've looked like I felt nothing.
But it was quite the opposite. I was going to lose them? Out of everyone? Them? It seemed unreal. Amelia Pond had been the first face that my face had ever seen. I owed her so much. Half her lifetime's worth of adventures. All gone because he couldn't operate his TARDIS correctly. She deserved so much more. They all did. All of his past friends. (His companions as River called them.) All of his future friends. Everyone.
We stood in silence for what seemed to be forever.
John kept looking like he wanted to say something. Opening his mouth, freezing, then closing it again. I couldn't blame him. If I had to deliver news like this… I wouldn't exactly know how to put it either.
Part of me wanted to simply lie on the floor and never get up. Another part wanted to go back into the dance hall and dance myself silly. To have a good time with my friends. Kiss Amy's cheeks, spin Rory this way and that… Tell them how much I loved them. How much I cared for them. How much I would remember them forever. Even after they were gone. And another part of me wanted to whisk Mr. and Mrs. Pond away, drop them back off home and never come back. Never deal with the pain and suffering that I knew I would have if I stayed around them.
This was what always happened.
Something always happened to the good ones. And they were all the good ones. They all… Oh it just made my hearts hurt.
I didn't make a sound, I simply stepped backwards and sat down on the concrete. The sidewalk. I clasped my hands together tightly and looked down at my shoes. They were in shadow, the streetlamp wasn't quite bright enough to illuminate everything. Some things just couldn't be seen, couldn't stay in the light forever. Just like the Ponds…
John put his hand on my shoulder. It was careful, gentle. Cautious. He was still waiting for me to answer him, to say how he was feeling. To express something. Anything.
Might as well give him what he was waiting for.
"It's not your fault."
There was a long pause. The air seemed to be suffocating, pressing down on the two of us like some unseen alien force. (It was possible, I had fought plenty of those.) John was picking out his words carefully. The army doctor sat down on the sidewalk beside me and sighed.
I continued, picking out my words carefully. "Everything happens eventually. You humans… You're all so… So…"
"Impermanent?" John offered.
"Yes." The breath hitched in my throat. "...And irreplaceable."
John chuckled, stress filled lines appearing on his face as he smiled. "I am sure you're irreplaceable to them too." He paused, looking up at the sky. "A man sent from space? Please. Sure, I have Sherlock but, there's nothing like a good old fashioned science fiction story come to life, is there?"
"I'm sure Mr. Holmes would disagree."
"He's not really a man for such things." John put on his best Sherlock impression. "Stick to the facts, and the facts alone. Without those facts, we have nothing. Or something like that."
"He sounds like a wonderful detective." I scratched at my chin unconciously. "Perhaps I should come back to this day and age and have another adventure with you two. I'm sure it would prove to be quite exciting."
"Can you do that?"
"It's time travel, John. There is nothing you cannot do. The possibilities are endless. And that's just on Earth alone. There are millions of planets, galaxies… All just waiting to be explored. Waiting to be discovered. Everyone has different customs, different rules, but they're all the same, in a way. They want to live, they enjoy games and such…" My voice faded off as he looked up at the stars. There were so many… So many places… "In a time machine everything is happening all at once. The beginning of time, the end of time…"
But there were certain places… Certain places that I couldn't visit. No matter how much I wanted to, I just wasn't allowed to. I would create a paradox, or a black hole or something that could end in the destruction of humanity. All the future companions that I could have had… Gone. In a flash of one immature, reckless mistake.
"I know what it's like to lose someone you care about." That was John again, cutting into my inner monologue. "One day they're there, and the next you'd do anything in the world to get them back. You realize how much you needed them in the first place. They become your life, everything that you ever think about. You don't think you can move on. You don't…"
John's voice cracked.
He looked over at me, and his eyes seemed to sparkle with tears. He had lost a friend, that much he knew. But that friend had come back from the dead. And John… He must have thought about everything he could have said, everything he could have done. How much he could have appreciated them more. And so on, and so on.
"Just… Doctor…"
His voice broke.
"You still have awhile before… Well, yeah. Before everything happens." He paused, looking out at the dark road. "Take advantage of it. At least, while you can. It's… You'll… You'll regret it otherwise. You really will."
We sat in silence again for what seemed like eternity.
The wind whistled in the leaves of the nearby trees. The night creaked and groaned quietly. The perfectly manicured bushes ruffled softly. There must have been a fountain somewhere nearby because there was the slight sound of water. Vines clung to the sides of the little building, coloured light bouncing from within the place. The heat of the dance hall behind the two of us bristled with happiness, emotion. The swirl of two identically white dresses. A blonde bride, and a red headed one. One groom. A consulting detective. Party guest upon party guest… The thumping of the music. I could feel it in my ribcage.
"What if I want to save myself the heart ache? All the emotion."
"I guarantee you'd regret it." John paused, thinking over his words. "Like a good man once told me: it's better to live through the good times than to not have them at all. You'll regret not experiencing them in the long run." He paused again. "What do dying people always wish they had done? More. Believe me, I hear it all the time. I'm a doctor."
"So am I."
"Different type of doctor."
"In fact, I'm The Doctor."
"Do you have a medical degree for saving lives?"
"No… But I do have one in making them better. Changing their views on life. The usual. Exploring new worlds, saving new worlds. I'm a type of doctor that saves people that way. Take Amy, for example, she… She was lost, parentless-Well, I suppose she doesn't really think that anymore. But I changed her whole life. I brought her parents back. I brought Rory back..."
"See, you've done something good. You've changed both hers and Rory's lives forever. Without you, she wouldn't even have her parents. She wouldn't have met us… We wouldn't have had the strange introduction of meeting backwards."
I glanced at my fellow doctor before lying down with my back on the concrete. "Meeting backwards." I closed my eyes. If we had already met… Then that meant we had to meet. It was already written in the stars. And that meant… That meant that Rory and Amy… They had to…
I had been trying to figure out ways so they could stay alive. My mind running as fast as a bullet, so to speak. As fast as Sherlock Holmes, if I wanted to go that far. (I'm sure the man himself would prefer if I not say such things.) But, there was just no way. There was no possible way I could keep them alive. Keep them with me until the end of time. Sure, we could all jump to the end of time to watch it but, it wouldn't be the same.
They wouldn't really be traveling with me until the end of everything.
They would end up being like all the others. Everyone that I wanted to forget, but I knew I never would. These humans and their abilities to imbed their memories inside of my head… It was hopeless. I could never get rid of anyone out of my head.
I hated it and yet I loved it all the same.
That's why I kept coming back, after all. To be able to protect these beings. Their little lives. They were all the same, but they were all different. Each human had a completely different personality. A different way they walked, talked, acted… It was absolutely fascinating. They were all so similar, yet all so different. And they all treated me differently too.
But in the end, they all loved me. And they all had to go eventually.
John was right. Sure, humans died. Humans always died. But that didn't mean that I couldn't change their lives before then. What good would time travel be if I couldn't go back and meet people or go forwards and meet people?
I didn't know I was crying until John handed me a handkerchief.
I dabbed at my eyes quickly and sat back upright. A look of excitement on my face (or so I hoped). "You know what?" I glanced over at him, like a kid in a candystore. "I'm going to take your advice, Mister Watson. My future-Your past… It cannot be changed." I jumped to my feet, looking down at the other doctor. "I must try to make the best of it."
I am not sure, nor will I ever know, if John believed me. Perhaps he thought I looked like a lunatic who was desperately trying to keep their cool. Hanging on to what little time I had left with my friends. Clinging to my happiness. Or, perhaps he really believed me. Believed the fact that I had gotten over everything. All of my pain, my sorrow. He did not know me well enough to know that I was not entirely 'okay' and I would never truly be.
But it didn't matter.
I could not think of what would come. I had to think in the moment. If I looked too far ahead, too far behind… I would be lost in memories and worries alike.
John looked up at me, offering me a kind, weary smile. It was near to unreadable, what he was thinking.
"Well, you've kept me preoccupied from my own wedding for long enough." Mr. Watson got to his feet, and stretched his limbs, looking out at the night. "Let's go back inside."
I nodded and followed him to the door of the building. John opened the door and walked inside. But, I stopped at the doorway and looked out at the night. It was so empty, so bleak. The stars twinkled in the distance but I knew they were nothing but memories. If I came back to this exact spot a billion years from now… The sky would be different. The stars that were currently up in the sky would be nothing but memories. Fading memories of what was once there.
And so the end has come.
I'm terribly sorry it's taken me so long to get here. I'm a fairly lazy author, and an even lazier updater. But that's alright because it's all done now. I hope you've all enjoyed it. I may be writing some more Wholock fan fiction in the near future (due to the fact that Molly and The Doctor are just fantastic together). So... Stay tuned.
And for the last time: do me one last favour by favouriting, following, and reviewing this final chapter (as well as me, if you'd like to read more of my stories). I promise I'll love you forever.
Until next time,
Matteo
