The medical team burst through the open door. The doctor rushed to help Saj, who was holding a towel to her bleeding face. The medical assistant bent over Tricia, still curled up on the floor, and probed her with a tricorder. The nurse spoke to Tasha and Ishanti. "What happened?"

"I don't know," replied Ishanti "I came in here when I heard screams."

"I don't either," said Tasha. "The screams woke me up."

"What do you mean?" groaned Tricia. "You attacked us."

"What?" Tasha looked from Tricia to Saj, whose bleeding was slowing under the doctor's ministrations. "I did not. I was asleep."

"Security to 14-C," the nurse said over the comm.

"This can't be happening," Tasha whispered.

"She's stable," the doctor reported. He tapped his communicator. "Dr. Chen to transporter center. Four to beam directly to infirmary emergency care." He looked over at the nurse. "Stay here until the security team arrives."

"Yes, Doctor."

"Energize." The four disappeared, leaving behind the blood-soaked towel and blanket.

Ishanti was staring at Tasha in horror. "Why would you do that? Why did you hurt them?"

"I didn't hurt anybody, Maynor. You have to believe me," Tasha replied.

Two security officers entered through the open door. The nurse addressed them. "We have a report that this cadet attacked two other students."

"I didn't!" Tasha shouted.

"You must come to the office of judicial affairs with us, Cadet. What's your name?" one of the security officers asked.

"Yar. I'm telling you, I didn't do anything wrong!"

"That's not for us to decide. You must come with us now."

Tasha obeyed, feeling herself go numb. She looked back at Maynor as the officers led her out the door. The younger girl was still staring at her with eyes wide with fear.

Tasha talked to herself under her breath as they walked. "I'm missing class. I must've slept through my alarm. Or I never set it. Can't remember. Can't believe this is happening." To the officers, she asked, "Where are we going?"

"The administrative building. The Superintendent will open an investigation into the incident."

"Will I be able to go to class? I have an astrophysics test today," Tasha explained.

The officers looked at each other and then at her. "Cadet, you're going to the brig. Attacking a classmate is grounds for expulsion."

Tasha felt a chill settle into her body. She walked without feeling anything, breathless and cold, between the officers through the sanded pathways of the quad.


Tasha lay on the narrow bench in the detention cell with her face to the wall. She was still enormously fatigued, and she drifted in and out of a troubled stupor, too upset to fall asleep. At the sound of the outer bulkhead doors opening, she jerked upright. Counselor Lver and a man Tasha didn't recognize entered the room and faced the force field.

"Mr. Yar, this is Captain Carson. He's the Associate Dean of Student Affairs, and a member of the inquiry committee," the counselor said to Tasha.

"Captain," Tasha greeted him.

"Cadet, we have a few questions for you," Dean Carson began. "Can you tell us what happened this morning?"

"I don't know, sir. I was up late studying for my first astrophysics exam. I must've fallen asleep. Next thing I know, my suitemates were in my room, and they were hurt."

"Did you attack them?" the dean asked.

"No, sir."

The counselor and the dean exchanged a look. "Can you tell us anything else that you remember?"

"No, sir. That's all. But I didn't have any reason to hurt them."

Counselor Lver turned to the dean. "I sense no deception from her."

"But you didn't sense deception from Cadet Flores, either. One of them must be lying," he replied.

"Sir? What's going to happen to me?" Tasha asked.

Dean Carson turned back to her. "After we have completed our investigation, there will be a hearing. We expect it to come together very quickly."

"I understand, sir." Tasha looked away. "Are they both okay?"

"Cadet Flores had some internal bruising, but no ruptures or bleeding. Cadet Sajnani is in surgery to repair a broken nose and jaw."

"Oh, my god." Tasha felt stunned. "I'm so sorry. I wish I knew what happened."

"It's my job to find out, Cadet. The hearing is tentatively scheduled for 1500 hours tomorrow. We will see you then." The dean nodded to the counselor, and they left. Tasha lay back down and turned her face to the wall.


She was pacing the length of the detention cell hours later when another visitor arrived. Jordan nodded to the security officer and stood in front of the force field. "Hey, Yar. They said it was okay for me to visit you."

"How did you find out I was here?" Tasha asked, her voice betraying irritation.

"Your roommate. But I think pretty much everyone in the freshman dorm knows," Jordan replied.

Tasha sighed and resumed pacing. "I didn't do it, you know."

"No one said you did. I just came by to see if you were okay."

Tasha felt torn. She felt ashamed, and hated for Jordan to see her in disgrace, and yet she was grateful that he had come to support her. She didn't know what to say.

"You missed the test," he went on after a few silent moments.

"How'd it go?"

"I think I did alright. But it was tough."

Tasha nodded. There was silence for several minutes.

"I guess I'll go. I thought you might need someone to talk to. Guess I was wrong." Jordan turned away.

"Wait." He turned back at Tasha's request. "Thanks for coming, Charles. I … uh … it was really nice of you."

He smiled. "You're welcome, Yar. Don't let the bastards grind you down."


The investigation went on for another full day before the hearing convened. Tasha sat alone at a table, and watched her suitemates come in and sit down at a second table. Neither one would meet her eyes. It was an open hearing, and Tasha guessed that the people in the front row of the audience section were members of her suitemates' families. She swallowed hard – they were all looking at her, and their expressions were not kind. She waited for the proceedings to begin.

Superintendent Tuvar called the room to order. "This hearing is convened to determine the culpability of Cadet Natasha Yar in the incidence of an attack on two students on Stardate 33718.3. I call Cadet Tillotama Sajnani to testify."

Saj stood up. There were no signs of her injuries; her beautiful face had completely healed.

"Cadet Sajnani, can you describe the events of the day in question?" Tuvar asked.

"Yes, sir. I got up for class. I was in the head when I noticed that Yar's lights were on. I opened the door, and I saw that she was still asleep, so Flores and I went in to wake her up. I reached down and shook her shoulder, and she punched me in the face. Twice, I think. It hurt a lot, and I started yelling. Ishanti came in and called for medical assistance. Then she grabbed a towel and tried to stop the bleeding. The medics came and took me to the infirmary, and told me they were going to put me under right away. That's all I remember."

"Did you do anything to provoke Cadet Yar?"

"No, sir."

"Had you done anything in the recent past that could have provoked her to retaliate?"

"No, sir."

"That is all. You may be seated. Cadet Flores, please stand. Can you describe the events of the day in question?"

Tricia's story was the same, but she testified that Tasha had kicked her in the stomach. "Those boots have steel in the toe, sir. It was no joke. I went down like a senior on prom night." She gritted her teeth. "Sorry, sir. That was inappropriate."

"Please confine your remarks to statements of fact, Cadet," the superintendent admonished her. "Had you done anything to provoke Lt. Yar?"

"Well, I think I rub her the wrong way, sir. She doesn't really have a sense of humor, so we haven't gotten along so well."

Tasha bit her lip to keep silent.

"Had Cadet Yar said or done anything to indicate that she might retaliate against you for provoking her?"

"Well, she did tell me that my big mouth was going to get me in trouble someday. But it's not like I've never heard that before. I just never expected her to beat me up for real. I mean, my brothers are always threatening to shut my mouth for me, and they only beat me up maybe half the times they promise to."

Three burly boys in the front row, one in a yellow Starfleet uniform, snickered and whispered at this. Their father shushed them as the superintendent struck a bell for silence. "Were Cadet Yar's eyes open when she kicked you?" Tuvar asked.

"No way could I know, sir. Saj was in front of me, and I couldn't see Yar's face."

"Thank you, Cadet. You may be seated. I call Cadet Ishanti Maynor to the witness stand."

The slim girl rose from the audience and walked to the front of the hearing room. She sat down in the witness chair, visibly nervous.

"Cadet Maynor, can you describe the events of the day in question?"

"I was asleep for most of it, sir," she answered. "I woke up when I heard screaming. Saj and Flores were hurt, and Yar was sitting up in bed."

"Was Cadet Yar awake or asleep?"

"Awake, sir."

"Can you describe her state as she appeared to you? Was she angry?"

Ishanti pursed her lips. "No, sir. She wasn't angry – she looked scared."

"Had you heard sounds of an altercation?"

"No, sir, but I was sleeping."

"Did Cadet Yar have personal problems with Cadets Sajnani and Flores, problems that could have given her cause to attack them?"

Ishanti considered. "Yar kind of keeps to herself. Flores likes to tease me, and Yar doesn't really like that. Saj and Yar are sorta protective about me. Maybe they got into a fight about it, but I didn't hear anything like that."

"Then your statement is speculative only, not based in fact."

"Yes, sir."

"Very well. You may return to you seat."

Ishanti went back into the audience with a sigh of relief.

"I call Cadet Yar to testify," the superintendent continued.

Tasha stood up and scanned the faces of the audience. All eyes were on her. Her heart beat faster. She took a deep breath and focused on Superintendent Tuvar.

"Cadet Yar, do you suffer from any ailments, conditions, or disorders?"

Tasha grimaced and wiped her hands on the trousers of her uniform. "Yes, sir."

"Would you state it for the record?"

"It's in my personnel file. Do I have to?" Tasha asked.

"Yes, Cadet."

She sighed. "PTSD."

"The acronym stands for?"

"Post-traumatic stress disorder." Tasha looked down at the floor.

"How and when were you diagnosed, Cadet?"

She looked up and scanned the faces of the audience again, and then looked over at her suitemates. Here goes, she thought. "Four years ago, when I was rescued from the colony where I grew up. The medical staff on the USS Galahad recognized the symptoms right away – they expected them. They started treatment almost as soon as I was onboard."

"What is the name of the colony where you grew up, Cadet?"

Tasha narrowed her eyes at the superintendent. Would it be worth it to ask him to have a little consideration for her? Once it was out, she would no longer have a chance at being considered normal. Everyone would know what she was – everyone would know that she didn't belong. But she knew it was pointless to plead with the impassive Vulcan officer. "Turkana IV, sir."

A ripple of astonishment went through the assembled people. Saj and Flores stared at her open-mouthed. Tasha felt her face get hot.

Tuvar showed no reaction. "And what symptoms did the medical staff of the Galahad recognize?"

It was all going to come out, for everyone to hear. "Panic attacks. Flashbacks. Sleep disturbances. Anti-social behavior. Emotional disconnection." Tasha listed them calmly.

"Was PTSD the initial diagnosis?"

"Yes, sir."

"Do you still suffer from the symptoms?"

"I'm in recovery, sir. But, yes, I'm in Counselor Lver's care. It's much better than it was, but it can be triggered by stress or things that remind me of the trauma."

"What can be triggered, Cadet?"

"The symptoms." Tasha wanted to crawl under the table and slink out of the room. She prayed for the questions to end.

"You mentioned sleep disturbances. What can you tell us about your experiences?"

"I've been recorded doing things in my sleep – walking, talking, eating, and other things."

"Have you ever engaged in violent behavior in your sleep?"

Tasha was sure she was going to be ill. "Yes, sir."

"Can you describe it?"

Here it was, the moment of truth, the end of her short-lived Starfleet career. "On the Galahad, I fought with a nurse who was trying to inject me. I don't have any memory of it, but I know it happened. Two people witnessed it – Starfleet officers." She was sure she would die from embarrassment.

"Is this typical for PTSD sufferers?"

"I can't tell you, sir. My doctor from boarding school would know. Dr. B helped everyone in my ward."

"Understood. Cadet, do you hold any malice for your suitemates?"

"No, sir," Tasha said vehemently. "Flores and I have had a hard time getting along, but I would never hurt her, or Saj, not willingly. I left behind violent behavior when I escaped the colony. I joined Starfleet because I believe in its tenets. If I was the one who hurt them, I apologize." She looked at her suitemates, who looked back at her with expressions of confusion and concern. "I'm so sorry if I hurt you. I didn't mean to. I hope you believe me."

"Thank you, Cadet. You may sit down," Tuvar said.

Tasha sank into her chair. She felt as if someone had wrung her out – she was limp and drained. She looked into the audience, and where there had been angry accusatory looks, she now saw glimmers of sympathy. And pity. She didn't know which felt worse.

Superintendent Tuvar nodded to Dean Carson, who rose and went to the door. "I call an expert witness to testify: Dr. Bernard Karasov."

Tasha gasped. The doors opened to admit a heavyset man nearly two meters tall, with shaggy brown hair and a long drooping grey mustache. She clasped her hands under the table and smiled at him. He gave her a wink and sat down in the witness chair.

"Dr. Karasov, will you state your field of expertise for the record?"

"I'm a licensed psychologist and psychotherapist, specializing in anxiety disorders," he replied.

"Are you acquainted with Cadet Yar?"

The doctor smiled at her. "Tasha was in my care for four years. I work with the Southern California New Horizons School, a boarding facility for youths with special needs. Tasha continued to see me when she attended the Bay Area Academy Prep School last year. Over that time, I've watched her make significant strides in her recovery. She's a remarkable young woman."

"Are sleep disorders a common symptom for PTSD sufferers?"

"Yes. Symptoms can range from nightmares and insomnia to bouts of activity during sleep that can last up to 30 minutes. The sleeping person may have her eyes open as she goes for a walk or performs tasks, but she is fully asleep and will retain no memory of the incident."

"Have there been recorded instances of a PTSD patient committing violent acts in his or her sleep?"

"Yes, I have documented such instances in my practice. They're rare, but they do occur."

"What may cause them?"

"If the patient is having a nightmare and is violently awakened, he or she may respond violently."

The superintendent nodded. "Is this possible in the case of Cadet Yar?"

The doctor answered without hesitation. "Natasha Yar is a special young woman. Her survival on the colony depended on her toughness, and that's a hard habit to break. She survived in an environment where her wellbeing and her life could be in danger at any given moment. But the skills that protected her on Turkana IV are out of place on Earth. We helped her to let go of some of that constant anxiety. She's come a long way." He smiled, but with chagrin. "Yes, it's possible."

"And if Cadet Yar caused harm to another person upon being suddenly awakened, in your expert opinion, can she be held culpable for her actions?"

The room was completely silent, and the doctor became serious. "Tasha is capable of doing harm in her sleep, given the proper set of circumstances. She should take precautions to isolate her sleeping area, to protect herself and others. She would not be in control of her actions, and should not be held responsible for what she might do while asleep."

A murmur went through the room. The superintendent spoke. "Thank you, Doctor. That is all." He struck the bell and faced the now-quiet audience. "If there are no objections from the judicial committee, this hearing is concluded. I call a recess to deliberate. One hour." The superintendent rose and left the room, followed by Dean Carson and Counselor Lver.

The doctor crossed over to Tasha's table. She stood up, and he wrapped her in a hug, dwarfing the tall girl. He released her and mussed her short hair. "How are you, Tasha?"

"Oh, Dr. B." She hugged him again and hid her face in his arm.

He patted her head. "Shhh. It's going to be all right."


It was early evening when Tasha and Dr. Karasov walked away from the administrative building together.

"Maybe your life can get back to normal, since they didn't find you at fault," the doctor said. "I'm glad the superintendent was so thorough in his search for the truth. When he called me to campus, he told me he knew from the start that you must have had an episode in your sleep, from the information in your file. He had your whole file memorized – the Vulcan mind is a wonder."

"I'm glad, too. My life hasn't really settled into anything close to normal, though. I'm afraid it might only get worse, now that everyone knows that I got into the Academy by the skin of my teeth," Tasha replied.

"That's not true, and you know it, young lady. You wouldn't be here unless you were a gifted candidate. But you must take the conditions of the ruling seriously, Tasha. You have to monitor your own stress level, and you have to let someone know if you feel an episode coming on. Was there a trigger this time?"

Tasha nodded. "I saw pictures of the colony during history class. I almost had a panic attack, but I thought I'd gotten it under control."

"You should've let someone know. Don't take any chances from now on. The Academy has a wonderful medical staff, but they can't help you if you don't reach out to them."

"I know. I like Counselor Lver. She's really nice."

"Good." They were walking to the transportation depot, towards the western edge of the campus.

"But it's been hard. My classes are okay, but I feel so out of place with my classmates. It was so much easier to make friends at the boarding school – everyone was in the same boat."

Bernard put his arm around Tasha's shoulders and gave her a sideways hug. "Y'know, Tasha, most of the girls in your graduating class are in their second year of college now, and what I hear from them is that it's a lot easier than the first."

"Really?"

"Freshman year is hard for everyone. You're just trying to find your footing, and the ground is shifting in brand new ways. I remember my freshman year like it was yesterday – hoo boy. I wanted to run home to Mom and Dad and say 'forget you' to my psychology classes. But I stuck it out, and I know you will, too." He gave her another squeeze and let her go.

"But I don't know what to say to anyone," Tasha complained.

"I'm not going to give you a pat answer, my dear. Opening up to others may be a lifelong challenge for you. I won't tell you it will be easy, either. It'll probably be difficult. But difficult things are still worth doing, aren't they?"

"Yeah," Tasha agreed.

"You'll find a way to fit in; I know you will. You're a good person, and you deserve to be here. You deserve to be a success."

"Thanks, Doc," Tasha said. They had reached the depot. "Do you have to go back to LA right away?"

He laughed. "You know my schedule. I have 30 daughters waiting for me back at school. They all need me, too." He surrounded her in a tight hug, picking her up off of her feet and putting her back down again. "Be good, Tasha. And send me a message sometimes – don't be such a stranger."

"I'll try, Dr. B. I'm glad you came up."

"Wouldn't have missed it. Take care." He walked off towards the supersonic trains. Tasha watched him go, and then headed back to campus.

The sun was setting by the time she reached the freshman dorm. She used her key fob to open the door and crossed through the lobby, where she was stopped by the Resident Director. "Cadet Yar."

"Yes, sir?"

The gray-haired woman put a hand on Tasha's shoulder and walked her into the office. The few students in the lobby watched them go, and then went back to whispering to each other.

The RD shut the door behind them. "Cadet, you've been transferred to a single room in Cochrane hall."

Tasha was surprised and at a loss for words.

"You should return your fob to me and report to your new dorm immediately. They're waiting for you," the RD went on.

Tasha found her voice with difficulty. "But I thought I was cleared – that I wasn't going to be punished."

"It's not a punishment; it's an order from the superintendent. You don't have a choice, Mr. Yar. Your belongings have already been moved to your new room."

Tasha took the key fob out of her pocket. "But I won't be able to get into the freshman mess without this."

"There's a mess hall in Cochrane," the RD replied. She put out her hand, and Tasha dropped the fob into her palm.

"But Cochrane is an upperclassmen dorm. I won't know anybody there," Tasha added.

"It's for your own safety. You'll see. Do you know how to get there? I can provide you with a map."

"I know where it is," Tasha answered, resigned.

The RD looked at the forlorn face of the young woman. "It's going to be all right. Head on over there, now."

"Yes, sir." Tasha let herself out of the office.

The RD sighed. She unlocked a large metal cabinet and hung the grey fob on a hook inside.