Hurt, resentful and brooding really didn't suit Harry, well not the one that Ruth had come to love, so it came as a great relief and against all her expectations that dinner was turning out to be a much more relaxed and enjoyable affair than it had been the previous evening. Whether it was because Jo was sitting there with them and enjoying what was an extremely tasty casserole that Harry had somehow managed to throw together with what had been left in the fridge, or he was pretending in an attempt to keep their private life just that, which was possible although unlikely given the circumstances, she had absolutely no idea. The looks that he kept giving her had also changed. They were open and relaxed and had lost the dreadful pleading and hurt expression of the last couple of days, and for that she truly was grateful. It didn't seem to be concerning him that Jo was watching them either, so as a result she just went with what was and finally felt herself to be breathing normally for the first time since the kiss. Jo knew virtually everything about them anyway and she was right, they did need to sort this out. They weren't a couple of teenagers she and Harry, they were two bloody repressed adults who weren't getting any younger, and had already wasted too much time.
By the time that they finished eating and Jo had given them the latest news from the grid, which in this case amounted to of a lot of hard work but with very progress, peppered with amusing anecdotes about Ros's visits to see both the Home Secretary and her description of the staircase laundry to recruit Alec White, it was well after midnight.
'I really do need to get going or I'm going to be late in the morning and Ros can be a real stickler when it comes to punctuality,' Ruth suspected was an excuse for Jo to leave, rather than have to continue to watch the obvious lust fuelled atmosphere that was building between herself and Harry, although Jo's summing up of her new boss Ruth could well believe. Even now she couldn't imagine herself working directly under Ros, and she certainly had no current plans to revisit that particular scenario.
'Not at all like I used to be then?' chipped in Harry with a positively light hearted tone to his voice, interrupting her train of thought, which given that it was so late, or early depending which way you wanted to look at it and they were both tired, confused her even further. She'd been imagining that he'd been pining for Thames House and was craving to get back there, but used to be was very much in the past tense. Whatever? she thought, Jo was right, it was late, and after what had been two dreadfully restless nights they both needed to get to bed. Promising herself that she'd talk to Harry in the morning and explain to him why she'd behaved like an idiot, she hugged Jo goodbye with a brief whisper of thank you.
'Well we'll look forward to seeing you again tomorrow evening Miss Portman, but before you go, I think you should be aware, that I was somewhat surprised to hear that you appear to know the innermost feelings of my heart far better than Ruth does,' was said in Harry's grid voice, as he held open the front door for Jo to leave.
Her heart sank, her mind racing as she tried to recall her precise input into the conversation that she'd had with Ruth, which he'd so obviously overheard.
'Having said that I forgive you and in this case you'll be spared a holiday in Azakstan,' he continued, holding up a hand to stop her apologising, before with a real twinkle in his eye and totally out of the blue, he plonked an unexpected kiss on her forehead.
Refraining from calling him a bastard which was Ruth's prerogative, a much relieved and stunned Jo gathered her thoughts and then smiled.
'Good luck,' she dared, and then fled before he changed his mind, trying to wipe away the picture that had popped into her head as to what might be happening for the remainder of the night. Bloody hell, good old Harry, no wonder he'd been so chirpy over dinner.
Ruth knew what was coming or at least she thought she did. Harry wasn't the only one that could eavesdrop, except that in her case she'd been doing it on purpose. As her stomach started to turn summersaults, she tried desperately to look for something to hold onto, but there was nothing except the walls and they were closing in. For what felt like an age but was in fact a few seconds, she heard Harry close and lock the door, she heard what amounted to his silent footsteps along the hall way, but resisting the urge to flee, she somehow managed to stop her legs that were all but giving way beneath her stand firm. This time he wasn't sitting on his bed with her leaning against him, he was walking towards her, his eyes smouldering into hers, strong, steadfast and with the look on his face that she hadn't seen since that night of regret at Havensworth. What was it about corridors and Harry that so overwhelmed her to the point of not being able to breath?
No camera's this time she thought, as she fought desperately to tear her eyes away from his and at the same time remember what she'd confided in Jo which had completely deserted her. How much of that conversation had he heard? Was he angry, surely not, she'd die if she'd blown it, she truly would.
'What's it going to be Ruth, should we have that chat now, or shall we just go to bed?' was a simple enough question, but it was the last thing that she expected him to say. As relief flooded through her she tried not to smile, but found that she couldn't. In the space of a moment Harry had managed to go from nought to ten without any apparent effort, not that it helped her find a coherent answer to his question. In fact she had no idea what she'd expected him to say, maybe Hi as he always did, which was ridiculous given the circumstances? How could a question that didn't require an answer, well at least not a spoken one, threaten to overwhelm her, by awakening every emotion that she'd ever felt when Harry stood this close to her? Just follow where this takes you she told herself, struggling to contain the overwhelming urge to kiss him again.
'Well?' he asked again, as Ruth opened and closed her mouth adoringly. He was teasing her, seeing how far he could push her, inwardly praying that she knew that and wouldn't run. He was drowning beneath the sheer wonder of the moment and with the expectation of what was to come. This was their once in a lifetime and he was determined to make the most of it.
Leave it to him she concluded, Harry will know what to do, this is the something wonderful that you've both been dreaming about.
Still he made her wait, savouring every glorious second, watching the myriad of emotions that were flying across Ruth's beautiful face. The mischief, the same want in her eyes that was so much more intense tonight. No more teasing or one or other of them might lose their nerve. Move before she does, get this right. You've imagine this moment a thousand of times in your head.
Tentatively almost reverently with his eyes never leaving hers, he took a step closer and ran his hand down one side of her face and then slowly into her hair. The intensity of feeling that such a simple action could bring to her body shocked her. In what had been her previous brief and far from satisfying experiences, acting had played a huge part. But without any preamble and with one single movement she was ready for him, all her fears dispatched. This was Harry who was touching her, it was exquisite and she was melting under his touch. A door flung open that could never be closed.
'I think that we're done with talking,' she finally managed, knowing that it was all the invitation that he needed.
It was close to two in the morning, they would need to start working again in a few hours from now, but for the first time in Harry's life, that ran in a poor second. An obviously nervous Ruth who in not so many words had said yes, had obliterated any thoughts as to why they were really here, the threat that hung over them or the consequences of what they were about to do. If they had something to say to each other then they had to say it, but she was right, not until the morning.
'Bed it is then,' he told her, with his heart hammering so loud in his chest that he felt sure she could hear it, he took her hand in his and walked the few steps and opened her bedroom door.
By the time that the sun started to rise a few hours later, they had lost count of the barriers that had come down, such had been that night. Tears, the most exquisite and fulfilling coming together that both of them up until now had only dreamed about, and an absolute certainty on Harry's part that this had always been their destiny. Soft and welcoming and more beautiful than he'd ever dared to imagine, a naked Ruth had given herself over to him, with an abandon that despite his age had sustained and fulfilled him.
On Ruth's part there had been no acting or holding herself back, resistance would have been futile. She'd been so right about Harry and she loved him all the more for it. Everything that he'd done and said had been gentle and beautiful and so full of love. There would be no going back after this, he was all that she had ever wanted, they had finally stepped over that line.
Harry woke first unable to move such was the way that Ruth was wrapped around him, her left leg between both of his pressing against what was already his growing erection. Her arm slung around his waist and her head buried in his shoulder. It was how they'd fallen asleep and he marvelled as to how they'd managed to stay that way all night. He'd always known how much smaller in stature she was than him, it was one of the many things that had attracted him to her. But here, naked in his arms and minus the armour that had up until now covered her body, he had no words that adequately described how he was feeling.
Whether what had happened and been said was enough to bind her to him, he still didn't know, neither of them had said I love you. Ruth was still young with so much of her life in front of her, whereas he was a battered and worn out old spook that was overloaded with self - recrimination. Had she made friends in the States or more precisely someone she would want to go back to, he had no idea? But he needed to know the answers and he needed to know today, it was a conversation that despite everything they'd shared, he was still dreading.
Ruth had no such uncertainties as she lay there, blissfully recalling the way they had come together and enjoying the feel of Harry's hand that was ghosting it's way across her back with the promise of more to come. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the clock on the bedside table, telling her that it was nearly eight and that they should at least be having breakfast, if not working. Sod it she thought, they were owed this moment, surely another half an hour couldn't hurt could it?
On the other side of town in a house in North East London.
One of the many advantages that having so many different locations available to you in which to meet, was that there was very little chance that whoever was following you would be able to keep up, especially if they were young and inexperienced. On this particular morning having left home early and arrived from three different directions, their latest meeting hadn't been designed to be a falling out or an exercise in apportioning blame as to why Harry had been allowed to escape and then disappear without trace, but more importantly, to come up with a solution as to how and retrieve the situation with the little time available to them.
It had been years in the planning, almost from the moment that she'd been dismissed, without not so much as a thank you for all the years in the service of her country, until sometime later when they'd been unable to cope, they'd crawled back cap in hand and had the gall to try and persuade her to help them. Well now it was her turn to hold the dice, so close to achieving her objective that she could almost taste it. The overriding problem was that the date was set in stone and they were in a now or never situation, unless they waited another however many years or rejigged her entire plan.
Accomplices hadn't been difficult to find. Both the Services and Harry's well rumoured insatiable desire to have and then dump women, both professionally and personally had seen to that, it was going to be the perfect sting to bring him and his blasted section down. But in the short term, if the bastard had gone underground to enable him to work away from prying eyes, which she suspected he had, otherwise why would they have sprung him, she was currently walking a fine line between success and a future that didn't bear thinking about.
'You're at the coal face and in a far better position than we are to find him, that's why I recruited you,' she told an increasingly tired and sceptical looking Connie.
'Yes we're all agreed on that, but you're the genius that suggested that we crash the CCTV at Kettleworth that's landed us in this mess.'
'For our own good for Christ's sake not his, are you sure that it's his disciples that have squirrelled him away?'
Well who else cares enough about him or would have the resources to do it, had been a question that they'd been pondering for some time without a firm answer.
'More importantly who's this wife that he's been rumoured to have acquired and why for Christ's sake, the list of volunteers can't be very long, not at his age? Most of the likely candidates we already know, and why didn't they just take him back to the grid once they've proved him innocent?'
'I hope that you're not suggesting that I was one of his conquests, I've got enough trouble trying to keep up with their keep Connie out of the loop conversations, you've know idea how difficult this is becoming. Ros bloody Myers is a real bitch, she's certainly not the pushover that you suggested, and now that they've brought in some bloke from six, it won't be long before they piece this all together.'
'But there's nothing to piece together yet.'
'Are you totally stupid, they're spies for heavens sake. You had their boss accused of treason, which I said from the beginning was a ridiculous idea and we should have found a way to get him suspended. They're not going to let this go despite the pretence, believe you me we could be in trouble.'
'It sounds to me as you're starting to get cold feet Connie and you know where that will lead?'
Connie did, there was evidence to prove it.
'Well if your goons had kept going before they decided to hang someone he'd have eventually told them and we wouldn't be having to have this conversation, but they didn't and I'm not by the way, so we have to stop arguing and come up with another way to distract them,' Connie countered.
'So what do you suggest, we concentrate on finding the wife and use her for leverage?'
'What the love of a woman verses the service to his country, what a wonderful dilemma. I seem to remember that he had that problem once before, I'll take another look at the records, but I'm pretty sure that particular conquest was found dead.
