Episode 7: The Sun Never Sets

"Simon!" the strange woman cried out. "Look – the Siege Perilous – something has gone terribly wrong!"

The rock had changed shape, subdividing into several sections, distinct yet connected, but hard to tell apart. Even as they watched, it grew yet another. Atop it all sat a small lizard, which could be heard reciting, "Sequel. S-E-Q-U-E-L. Sequel."

"A spelling chameleon!" Avon cried in horror. "We're in for it now!" He bolted for the TARDIS, stumbling over a scattering of large screws that had appeared in his path.

"Don't leaf me behind!" wailed Vila, waving an olive branch. They disappeared into the TARDIS with A Stone-ishing Rapidity.

"Weight a minute," Indy said heavily. "This is a catastrophe." The chameleon turned into a large tabby cat.

"Try putting it in a case with the other trophies," Mary Poppins suggested.

"But what if the case doesn't suit it?" asked Simon.

"You'd have to change suits," Varzil replied.

"But I rather like my coat and scarf," the Doctor objected. The cat smirked and disappeared entirely, except for its grin.

"All right, stop this nonsense! This is much too silly!" shouted the Brigadier as he emerged from the TARDIS, red-faced with exertion. His uniform had changed into a combat sweater. "That's enough of this supercilious – aaaugh!" The Brigadier exploded with a bang and a flash.

"Step in the write direction," the Doctor remarked, scribbling frantically on a notebook he'd produced from a pocket. Indy hastily took a step to the right.

"You're supposed to jump to the left first," said Simon. "But if Mary is too right-wing, she'll be left behind." A large bird flapped by, precariously balanced on a single wing as it sang an Ave Maria. Simon groaned at the sight. "Jaelithe, the machinery's gone haywire!"

"You're grasping at straws, Simon," his wife replied as she pulled wisps of dried grass out of a small device she held in her hand.

"All right, that does it! Enough of all this!" the Doctor exclaimed. He glared at the stone and recited, "Stellar, Atomic, Industrial, Reason, Enlightenment, Middle, Dark, Golden, Iron, Bronze, Stone!!" The stone cracked across and collapsed into a pile of sand. "Ah, the sands of time," the Doctor mused. "Dusty death! – Don't worry, the effect should fade directly," he assured everyone.

"What did you do, Doctor? What was that?" Varzil asked.

"The Rock of Ages, of course."

Everyone groaned with relief. The Doctor stooped down and picked up a single grain of sand, which he offered to Indiana Jones.

"A piece of the Rock?" Indy said in surprise. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"You could build a kingdom," the Doctor suggested.

"I wouldn't advise it," Mary Poppins broke in. "That story would never end."

Simon retrieved the grain of sand. "Thank you, Doctor," he said, bowing. "My wife and I will be returning home now."

"Which world is that?" Varzil asked.

"Careful!" Mary Poppins warned. "You might start the whole thing up again."

Jaelithe pressed a switch on the device she held. As she and Simon faded from sight, he suddenly called out, "Oh, Doctor, before I forget – the third task you must accomplish is – " But they had vanished.

"Oh, drat," the Doctor muttered. He turned to Varzil. "You seem to know your way around here. Where do you suggest we go next?"

"There's an oasis beyond that hill, and a settlement nearby," said Varzil.

As they set off, the Doctor murmured to Mary Poppins, "Do you know, I think something very wrong is going on here."

"Ah, then you've noticed . . . ?"

"That the sun was setting when we arrived, and it's still setting? Makes a very pretty panorama, but we're not here for postcards. Something is wrong with Time."

"At least it's convenient for them," Mary remarked, pointing to a pair of horseback riders off in the distance. It looked like a young man with a girl riding behind him, accompanied by a faithful sidekick. The romantic strains of the sidekick's guitar could dimly be heard as they rode away westward.

"Yes, very convenient," the Doctor agreed. "And after all, the sun never sets . . . "

They reached the oasis and Mary Poppins sank down gratefully in the shade. As the others sprawled on the ground to rest, she reached into her carpetbag and produced a teapot and several cups. She dipped the pot into the pool, poured herself a cup of steaming tea, and offered more cups all round.

"Ah, thank you," the Doctor said absently as he accepted his. He took a sip and started, staring wide-eyed into the cup. "Great Scott!"

"What's wrong, Doctor?" asked Mary Poppins as she handed round biscuits and jam. Wordlessly, he handed her the teacup. She took one look into it, shrieked, and fainted.

Indiana Jones caught her as the cup fell to the sand. To everyone's astonishment, the cup vanished with a cute special effect, and a small wizened creature with huge baby blue eyes appeared. It looked with concern at Mary Poppins.

"Ouch," it said, extending a long finger towards her. A light bulb gleamed at the end of the finger. Indy hastily dragged her a few feet farther away.

With a swift movement, the Doctor snatched up the still-steaming teapot. "E.T. go home," he said, pouring the tea over the creature's head. It yelped "Ouch!" and disappeared with another cute special effect.

The relieved silence was shattered by the sudden brash clamour of an alarm clock. Mary Poppins yawned, opened her eyes, stretched, and sat up.

Indy clutched her arm in warning. "Don't move," he whispered. "Get away from the oasis, everybody. I just spotted a crocodile on the far side of the pool."

An ominous ticking filled the air as the crocodile moved leisurely towards the group. Indy reached for his gun, but the Doctor caught and held his wrist before he could aim and fire.

"Put it away, Indy. That won't be necessary." The Doctor exchanged a glance with Mary Poppins. She nodded. "Now!"

The Doctor and Mary Poppins started applauding loudly. Immediately, a group of athletic young men in evening gowns, high heels and rainbow bunting jumped out of the trees and began to sing show tunes and perform an elaborately choreographed dance number. At the sight, the crocodile screamed, turned tail, and dove into the pool. The young men dived in after it. There was a frothy lavender whirlpool for a few minutes, and then the water calmed and cleared.

The Doctor brushed off his hands with a satisfied expression. "Right, then. Shall we be going?"

"This way," Varzil beckoned. "The village isn't far now."

They heard the sound of a quarrel not far ahead, and just over the next rise, two bands of warriors could be seen in hot dispute. The leader of one band, tall humanoids swathed in black robes and veils, was glaring down at a pale-haired, pointed-eared warrior half his height, whose followers had already drawn an assortment of small swords and diminutive daggers.

"What've you got to say for yourself, five-fingers?" demanded the elfin leader. "That was the Wolfriders' quarry, and you scared it away before we could make sure of our kill!"

"Do you presume to challenge me?" the mri leader replied, his voice as cold as the last hell. "It was our hunt, and your tribe's interference merely prevented us from finishing it."

As the staredown continued, a dark-skinned elf woman turned to the Doctor. "All this argument, and the quarry has vanished anyway," she said. "Where is everyone and everything appearing and disappearing to?"

"Time and Space, my dear Leetah," replied the Doctor. "What was the fish that got away?"

"What's a 'fish'?" asked Leetah. "It wasn't a – 'fish' – it was a creature called a Ewing. It wanted to found a dynasty, and Cutter shot it, but it got away."

"I'm not surprised. Would you like a jelly baby?"

As he offered the crumpled bag of sweets, it was snatched out of his hand by a movement faster than the eye could follow. Looking down, the Doctor saw a very fat orange cat with a smug grin on its face. "Really, Garfield," he admonished, "couldn't you have left a few for the others?"

At that moment a loud voice called "Dinner time!" and Garfield vanished in an orange streak through a doorway in the side of a sand dune, nearly bowling over Indiana Jones in the process. Indy walked up to the doorway cautiously and peered in.

He pushed the door open farther and saw a dimly-lit bedroom. A small blond boy was sitting up in bed looking at him. "You're not one of my anxieties," the boy said. "What are you doing in my closet? Can I interview you for the Bloom County Beacon?"

Outside, the Doctor's voice could be heard shouting, "Indy! Indy! Don't go in there!"

"Sorry, kid. Some other time." Indy shut the door and turned to face the Doctor. "What's the problem? What's so dangerous about a little kid's bedroom?"

"You never know – the last time that happened, we had midgets falling through holes in Time," the Doctor replied. "It took us forever to clean up the mess. Besides, that door leads to the Sunday funnies. If you went in there, you might get serialised, and then you'd never get out."

Indy shuddered. "That's a horrible fate!"

"Not as horrible as that!" shouted Varzil. "Look at the settlement!"

-- tbc --