Ch 7: Timeframes.
AN: OKAY. My computer died. I had a PC. RIP, PC. But now I have a Mac! Names Florence! And it's all good! Because I can write more. I'm back! And the next chapter WILL be up before 2012! I WILL do this. If you're just entering my fun little world for the first time, enjoy, if you've managed to stick with me this long, congrats, you deserve a sticker.
"PATTI ANGRY. PATTI SMASH!"
"NO! NOT THE ICE CREAM!"
"KID TAKE THE DAMN SHOT!"
"I...I can't!" He wailed.
"WHY NOT?"
~ 20 minutes previously ~
"A disaster. Total chaos. I'm never getting my shopping accomplished." Kid was grumpily sitting amongst the wreckege.
"Is THAT what you're concerned about?" Liz put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "My sister's emotionally traumatized and expressing it with violence and you're concerned about SHOPPING?"
"No need to get angry, Liz. We can work this out." He stood up and brushed off his shoulders. "We just need to wait for her to come down."
" Miss Elizabeth!" A voice came from behind an overturned table as a familiar, round face peeped up.
"Rob!" She cheered, rushing over to pull him in to their convoluted fort. "You survived!"
"Yes, Miss Elizabeth, we are trained to handle these situations. Happen every year on something in America called Black Friday." He shuddered. "Those people are craaazy." He shook his bald, shiny head. "But I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to get a grip over that girl. She's destroying the mall!"
"Just wait her out. Sh'll be done soon enough and going on and on about some Happy Fun Sunshine crap." Kid waved his hand dismissivly.
"She's constructed a giant paper dragon out of shoe boxes! I'm sorry, but you've got to get her under control or get her out of here!"
"We'll be glad to get her ou-"
"NO! You cannot ask me to leave!" Symmetrical tears slid down Death the Kid's face in great ribbons of blue moisture. "I'm not done with my list! WE HAVE TO CONTAIN HER."
"Are you serious about this?" Liz asked, shocked.
"Well, we've managed to block her in this one hallway, if you can manage to get her under control again, I might be able to smooth this over. I am head officer here." Rob beamed.
"How are we going to control her? She's... terrifying..." Liz moaned.
"I have a plan!" Kid motioned them closer and whispered, "Now here's what we're going to do..."
~10 minutes previous~
"Patti? You okay?" Liz had finished writing a blurb in her journal and was beginning to notice that her sister was acting... strange. Stranger than normal.
"No." Patti turned and tilted her head alllll the way yo the left.
"Kid." Liz backed up. Patti came closer.
"What's wrong, dear sister? Am I...scaring you?"
"Kid?" Liz looked around. Patti came closer.
"Did you know, that Pluto is no longer a planet? Nor indigo a color? I did not know. I am not happy, Liz. Not. Happy. Now. Where was I?"
"Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid?"
"Yes, mwaha-"
"Ma'am? Excuse me." A pimply, ginger teenage boy in an orange-and-red striped shirt appeared with a clip board and a sign.
"Hm?"
"There's a $10 fee for evil laughter."
"What?"
"If you want to laugh maniaclly or evilly, I'll have to charge you $10."
"But...why?" For a moment, the monster was gone, and normal, cute Patti looked so heartbroken.
"Yeah, it's Copy Right Infringment."
"On a laugh?"
"Yeah, the Death Eaters Copy Righted it fifteen years ago."
"But... they've been gone for so long!"
"It's in effect until June of 2020."
"...!" Patti seized a table and flipped it over, jumping on top of it. She took off like a bullet.
"KID!
"Hmmm?"
"LOOK!"
He looked up, and his jaw dropped. "TAKE COVER!" He dove behind a table. Liz followed, and they spent the next eight minutes creating a perfectly symmetrical fort out of broken odds and ends Patti kept chucking their way. The mini-food court would never be the same. Only the mini one, though. The mall was so large, some people got lost in it. So, to control the starvation death toll, the mall invested in several smaller food and beverage selling areas set up intermittenly along the main pathway. This was one of those areas.
~ 25 minutes later ~
"I got the goods!" Rob shouted, handing the packedge to Kid. He took it.
"Thank you, my good man. Now, Liz, Rob, GO!"
They both ran into the aisle and hollered, waving their arms to distract Patti.
Kid held up the gun and then...
"PATTI ANGRY. PATTI SMASH!"
"NO! NOT THE ICE CREAM!"
"KID TAKE THE DAMN SHOT!"
"I...I can't!" He wailed.
"WHY NOT?"
"It's not symmetrical!"
"HOLD IT IN BOTH HANDS AND SHOOT!"
"Oh. Okay then." He aimed and fired, hitting her squarely in the backside.
She roared in pain, then stumbled forward and fell, fanny in the air, peacefully asleep.
Liz removed the tranquillizer dart from her sister's behind. "Phew. I was beginning to think that we were toast..."
Rob nodded. "Now all you have to do is clean up her mess and you can stay!"
"...WHAT?"
Day: Is it still 472? No, I think it's 473...
Time: ... 2:49 AM
Mood: Exhausted
Thoughts: So tired... cleaned up everything...made it perfect... still have tomorrow...
~KID
Entry 505
I hate my life.
~Liz.
Patti snored peacefully through it all, her dreams of Happy and glitter restored. GLittery fire, that is.
