By the time we all got back to Kai's farm, the sun began to set. I could tell based on the looks on the soul reaper's faces that they were not too fond of being apprehended by a amateur substitute soul reaper and some random locals in an unknown land.

"Don't worry comrades, I am not planning to hurt you or anything. Look, I can tell you don't trust me, but I am not planning to hold you hostage or anything. I just want to ask you a couple questions."

One of the soul reapers looked at me with skepticism and replied, "If you just want to ask a few questions, then why are we walking to this man's home? For all we know, you my be planning to torture answers out of us."

"Fine then, my first question is this: what happened at the Ishida residence that caused you to go on a wild goose chase after Uryu? And two, exactly how did you get here?"

Lieutenant Omaeda replied with, "We were ordered to investigate a strange phenomenon occurring at the Ishida residence as various soul reapers, humans, and even hollows began to 'disappear' within proximity of the residence. Initially, the soul society assumed that it could be activity by the Quincy's due to their unusually quiet presence. What made matters worse was that we sent scouts to investigate the area, and they reported that there was an unknown entity of energy that emerged from a strange individual appearing and disappearing from the area."

"Did the scouts give any description of the individual in question? Most likely whoever they are responsible for the disappearances." If that is the case, then there may be a way to find a way home soon.

It would sure as hell make our job easier, I know how much you want to return home. Neither one of us belongs here in the first place.

"One of scouts reported seeing a high school girl in a blue sailor suit uniform. She proceeded to resist custody by ….. 'Kicking' the scout the nether regions."

"Sounds like something Haruhi Suzumiya would do." I said this remembering the kick to the crotch I received from her. Why does she have to be such a tsundere?

Come on Al, that is how she is. She is the ideal tsundere.

Shut up Tsuwamono.

"Who is this 'Haruhi Suzumiya' you speak of?"

I proceeded to describe her and my brief interaction with her and the rest of the SOS brigade, thus explaining my journey to where they are now. I also admitted that Haruhi has god-like powers, which I have theorized is the most likely cause of entry into this universe and the cause of the appearance of these 'gateways' are created inadvertently.

"It certainly sounds like the individual in question matches the girl you call 'Haruhi.' We can't just assume Haruhi is causing these 'gateways', even though it seems like the most likely cause of it all. It just seems too…..convenient. Also, the scout that saw this woman did not manage to get a better view of her as she immediately disappeared with Uryu in her possession."

"Come to think it, you do make a point. Haruhi would not just kidnap people without a good reason, most likely of her own personal benefit. Also, she is not aware of her powers, so I doubt she could at will open and close gateways and arrive at specific destinations."

"What should we do then? We can't just sit on our asses and hope another gateway opens out of convenience. Hell, we could be stuck here for the rest of our lives."

"Calm down soldier! Now is not time to panic! Here is what we do, we find Uryu, and find out what he knows. Mostly likely the girl causing all of this can be close by and get us back home."

"I was thinking the same idea Lieutenant Omaeda, but how are we going to find him?"

"We have been following his spirit energy for the past day after we lost sight of him back in Karakura town. We believe he is traveling north toward a town referred by the locals as 'Konoha Village' based on the path he is taking, plus the disparity between his track is getting shorter, like he is walking slower or something."

Even though I knew little about the Naruto series, hearing Konoha village was like having a million light bulbs go off as I knew what they were talking about in regards to this world.

"Let us go then to Konoha village."

Kai interrupted and replied, "Hold on, we should wait till morning before we look for Uryu. The village is most likely surrounded by ninjas protecting the area due to the increase in Akatsuki. If we are lucky, they find him and hold him in a safe location for us to find by the morning. Also, I know the guards at the village and they are not really inclined to let strangers in during the night."

"You sure, ok. If that is the case, let prepare some dinner for our new guests. They must be hungry by now." Honestly, I only said that because I was hungry, and Tsuwamono gets cranky when she has to wait for food. I noticed that Kai had some chilies and pork meat he purchased from the market, I proposed to make a special dinner, tamales. It sure as hell would beat eating udon noodles again, which is the only thing Kai had prepared in his home. Kosei and Klonoa seemed pretty excited to eat new food as they mentioned hanging out at Kai's home only to find he only eats udon noodles.

Kai replied, "Fine, but I am not touching the kitchen after having to manhandle that soul reaper."

Where is the food!

Tsuwamono, considering I am making tamales, which takes longer to prep than to actually cook, would you kindly be quiet in my head before I tie you to Omaeda's crotch in defiance!

I have dibs on the first batch.

Like hell you are getting dibs on tamales, now just help me and your hunger will soon cease 'Potato Girl' .

Fine, be that way 'Luffy'.

After that little internal fiasco, we all ate some of my homemade tamales. Personally, they could have been a lot better if we had more ingredients, but no one seemed to be complaining, especially Tsuwamono. She ate those puppies like they were raw potatoes for Sasha Braus on a good harvest. The next morning, we prepared for the journey to Konoha village. On the way there, we heard a large explosion up ahead. I looked up at the sky and realized that the village was being attacked. Don't tell me…..that the Akatsuki are attacking Konoha village. Shit, this is definitely the Pain arc. I am so screwed if had to deal with any of the Akatsuki right now.

Can you sense that Al? Get ready for battle. It seems as though a couple of old combatants have gone and shown up for round two.

Date and Masamune showed up in the middle of the road, this time holding Uryu hostage as Uryu was bound to a chair with rope.

"Welcome, welcome back, substitute soul reaper. Is this who you are looking for, oh we sincerely apologize, but now he is our hostage. You see, we were given new orders to take anyone of 'extraordinary' talents and 'integrate' them into the Akatsuki organization."

"Nice one Date, now we overheard you guys were looking for this Quincy and we got to thinking, 'why bother with one hostage that can help our organization, when we can have an entire squadron of cannon-fodder to do our bidding."

"Good one Masamune, now, surrender now and be our underlings, otherwise we are forced to kick all your asses."

"It's Morphin time!" I changed into my soul reaper form just in time to block a loose kunai from gouging one of my eyes thrown by Masamune. Date charged with his daikatana, using shadow clone jutsu to be able to attack everyone at once.

"Sew, Tsuwamono!" Weapon Form: Kamina's Katana.

Alright, time to bring out the big boy sword!

Time to put the last day of training to good use!

I swung Tsuwamono left and right to keep Date guessing where I was going to attack as I charged the shadow clone closest to me. As I was about to swing, the shadow clone disappeared as the rest of the clones surrounded me. Masamune proceeded to surround everyone else by utilizing shadow clone jutsu. Klonoa anticipated this attack and ran straight for the original Masamune, using Bakudo #1 to subdue him. Lieutenant Omaeda and the rest of squad 2 flash-stepped out the way and headed straight for Uryu.

"We have the target sir, now must head to a safer location to interrogate Mr. Ishida."

"You bastards."

I should have not been caught off-guard by this defiance as Date grabbed Tsuwamono and proceed to bend the blade.

Tsuwamono, no!

Just who the hell do you think I am asshole!

Tsuwamono turned into her human form and began to bite his arm. Date dropped his sword and attempted to stab her with a combat knife he had strapped to his shoulder. Seeing him attacking Tsuwamono, I ran up to him and yelled, "Shadow clone jutsu!"

I ran straight toward Tsuwamono to take her back, while the shadow clone ran in the opposite direction, sewing the knife to himself to give just enough resistance to make Date miss hitting Tsuwamono. Weapon Form: Monkey Wrench. I proceeded to beating the living shit out his face, yelling, "Nobody…..touches….my….zanpakuto….pinche puto!" As I was about to deliver the final blow, Date disappeared. He was a shadow clone this entire time? Where is he?

Lookout!

I turned around, and saw the real Date run past almost instantaneously, punching me in the stomach so hard that I went airborne.

Meanwhile, Kosei, Klonoa, and Kai had to deal with Masamune alone as the soul reapers headed south with Uryu. Uryu, clever as he was, took this opportunity to untie his binds and used Hirenkyaku, the Quincy movement technique to move at rapid speeds away from his kidnappers. He began to shoot a volley of arrows at Masamune, who ran off towards Konoha city as more Akatsuki recruits appeared out of nowhere, ready to pounce on us. Uryu turned around a laid heavy fire on the Akatsuki appearing on us in drove. Kosei, Klonoa and Kosei attempted to charge the real Date, but he simply kicked them aside like they were pieces of trash.

No, no way. We are getting our ass kicked by one guy, one guy who kept us busy with a shadow clone, all just to hit us hard when the time was right.

By the time I was even able to lift my head up, Date and Masamune stood above with the kind of look in their eyes like they were going to enjoy thoroughly beating me up. The next thing I know, I see Uryu shoot a couple of Seele Schneider at Date and Masamune, injuring them with relative ease. As if things could not get any get any crazier, I sensed the emergence of another 'gateway' emerging near us. Blinded by the blood from Date's injuries, I started walking toward the gateway, sensing someone powerful, the one that keeps opening and closing the gateway.

"Wait, get back hear! Bakudo #1, Sai!" Sensing that I grabbed the perp, I began to wipe the blood out of my eyes, seeing that the person responsible for the 'gateways' clothed herself in an Akatsuki uniform, wearing a white mask to cover her face. Her hair was covered in a cloth, so I couldn't figure out who she was. I ran toward her, hoping to get some answers, but first, I need to know who she is. Her energy does not feel like Haruhi, so who is she?

The mysterious woman in black shook off the binds like it were mere cobwebs. She began to run towards the 'gateway'. "Get back hear!" Uryu utilized Hirenkyaku to catch up to the mysterious woman, grabbing her tightly to prevent her from escaping.

Uryu then said, "Tell me woman, why are you doing this?" The mysterious woman said nothing, but instead bear hugged him, and stabbed him in the gut. She walked off toward the 'gateway' she created. Don't you dare run off on me when I am so close to getting some answers. Weapon form: Link's gauntlet.

For the Triforce!

Really Tsuwamono, really!

In just in the nick of time, we managed to get a hold of them using the gauntlet, dragging ourselves through the portal. The thing I know, day turned into night, and summer heat turned into winter blast as we jumped into a world full of snow in the midst of a blizzard.

"Where are you?"

As I said this, I saw Uryu lying on the ground, with no sight of the mysterious woman, then I heard the howls of dozens of wolves. All things considered, this was going to be one hell of a night.

A/N: Alright, chapter 7 is finished! I know things are starting to get a bit repetitive, but it is all to set the stage for major plots coming up ahead. Will Al and Tsuwamono survive a wolf attack after nearly being killed by an Akatsuki? Will Uryu survive his injuries? Who is this mysterious woman? Find out on the next chapter of the Ironic Reality of a Normal College Student.