Disclaimer: do not own anything! Except the story.

Poor Ivan! Poor Matthew! Poor baby! I feel soo mean for what im going to do! -hides from the gunshots-

Ivan gripped the arms of the chair he was resting in. Tears burned his eyes. "I tried to tell you over the phone Mr. Braginski…For the past five years we've been running tests on Matthew. And every year his chances of survival dropped. This year his results were a mere 15%. " Ivan grit his teeth. "The baby was pressing up to his heart, and we tried to abort it from him." Ivan's voice was below a whisper. "Da…I know." He bit his lip and he felt like someone tugged the strings of his heart. " Unfortunately he had absolutely refused. I'm sorry. But the most we can do is keep him breathing." Ivan's eyes betrayed him and tears streaked his face.

Matvey is in a coma.

"…what are you going to do with the baby…?" his voice was barely audible. "well, we could put her in a home, or…you could take her home with you?" ivan wanted nothing to do with the baby. Why had Matthew been so set on having the baby? Why did he willingly let the child live while it was killing him? Why did he expect Ivan to just accept the loss of his Matvey? He couldn't take care of a baby! He could hardly take care of himself as a child! Matthew knew this. Why did he trust Ivan with the little life so much? He couldn't do it. He wouldn't do it.

"put her in a children's home." Ivan whispered.

The doctor nodded and slid some papers across the desk they were sitting at. "Just sign these, and she will be out of your hands." Ivan nodded shakily and took a pen off the desk. Within seconds, the child was no longer his. A surge of guilt ran through his body as the doctor took the papers back. Matvey had wanted this baby so much…Ivan sighed and shook himself. He stood and held out a hand to the doctor. "ill be going now. Please make sure she has a good home." The doctor stood and shook Ivan's hand slowly. Ivan slowly left the room and walked to Matthews room. He looked at the pale boy with the mask over his mouth. Most likely to keep him breathing. Ivan walked to the bed and tears ran down his face once again. He leaned over the bed and touched Matthews face lightly. " She'll be taken care of… I promise." Ivan's tears rolled down Matthews face. He pulled away and left the hospital. Guilt was heavy on his shoulders. Why am I so upset? He wiped his eyes with his sleeve and took a deep breath. It was cold out. When Ivan breathed out he could see his breath dancing in front of him then fading away. The large Russian walked away from the hospital slowly.

His eyes were dull and he felt like he was sinking. Matthew would never be home again and he had given up his only child. He felt dirty. He hated himself. Matthew had been so keen on having the baby. He would always brighted up hen thay talked about the baby. Matthew laughed when they went through names for the baby. But now…that was gone. He had thrown it away. Why? Why had he thrown away the little bit of Matthew he had left? He felt like running back to the hospital and demanding the baby back. But...something stopped him. What? What was keeping him from having a small slice of happiness? He opened the door to his house and collapsed on the couch. He felt so tired. He wanted vodka. He looked to the kitchen longingly and wished that vodka would just appear in his hands without him getting up. He remembered when Matthew had made him read some book about wizards. Accio vodka! (Harry potter reference btw) The Russian sighed heavily and stood to retrieve his mind numbing vodka.

After an hour or god knows how long Ivan stared sadly at his fifth empty bottle of vodka. "oopsi~ all gone." Ivan looked in the cabinet and sighed when he saw it was empty. He stumbled to the bedroom and slid out of his clothes and on to the bed. "mm…Matvey wants to snuggle, Da?" he felt the empty spot next to him and frowned. oh yeah. He rolled over and stared at Matthews pillow. He reached out and pulled the pillow close. Smells like Matvey…smells good. He hugged the pillow happily and sighed. "I can snuggle with your pillow, Da?" He looked down to the bottom of the bed and saw Matthews stuffed teddy. "Hi Kumajiro!" Ivan smiled and slurred into a conversation with the stuffed toy, eventually pulling it close and falling asleep with his face buried into its back.

His hangover was horrible the next morning.

It was true, Matthew had fallen into a coma. But that didn't mean he couldn't see. He had his eyes half open but every thing was muted. He couldn't see very well, or hear anything. He felt something on his face and a breezes on his lips. He felt…sad. He just felt like he had left something hanging. Like…that person above him earlier had seemed so familiar. Why had he been crying? Did he know him? He remembered something someone had said to him. A man in white coat and a ear piece hanging around his neck. He could just barely hear his voice. " Your going to fall asleep." Something in Matthews head clicked. He was in a coma. And he wouldn't be waking up. He felt like he was asleep, but all his thoughts were working in his head as though he were awake. IVAN! Ivan had been the man above him. The man who had been crying over him. The man who had touched his face. It hit Matthew like a sack of bricks. He wouldn't be waking up. He wouldn't be waking up. He wouldn't be waking up. Matthews heart sank. He had just had a baby! He had just left Ivan alone with the baby. And knowing Ivan…

5 years later….. ( -shot- )

Ivan walked through the loud crowd of people. He hated crowds. He hated people in general. Walking past loud rides, and games. He found the one booth he was looking for. The dart booth. He smiled as he remembered winning a stuffed animal for his young lover a long time ago. He took the darts and threw them to their mark.

The Russian had come to the carnival for the past 5 years as a….anniversary of sorts. His lover was still in the hospital…he visited him now and again. He would bring the prizes he won here to him and lay them to rest next to the comatose patient Maybe…he would wake up and find the nice toys his love had won for him. The Russian had won a new stuffed polar bear again and began to leave. The prize was all he had come for. He felt a little tug on his pant leg as he entered the parking lot. "e-excuse m-me…" Ivan looked down to see a small girl with platinum blonde hair and violet eyes. And…even though it was 80 degrees outside…she wore bunny earmuffs and a pink scarf, but normal summer clothes.

"Da? Can I help you?"

The little girl looked at him with pleading eyes. "I…My…I was left here! I want to go home!" The little girl started to sniff and her eyes were watery. Ivan blinked and kneeled down. " what's your name?" The girl paused. "A-Aurora." she sniffed again. Obviously she wasn't comfortable talking to a stranger. She wiped her eyes. "I..I-I want to go home…!" Her lip quivered and large tears ran down her cheeks. "Shh...its ok…where do you live..?" Ivan smiled at the girl. He must have looked scary because she backed up and emitted a small whimper. She slowly stuttered out an address and Ivan scooped her u in his arms. " alright. Lets get you home, Da? Im sure your parents are worried." unless she was left on propose. Ivan shook the thought from his mind and carried her to his car.

WHOO! 7 CHAPTERS! IM SO HAPPY! Please, please, please tell me what you think! This is getting more difficult to write! I hope I don't kill it with my next chapters. I think its going alright…I guess. Im sorry I kind of stumbled over some parts, so if It doenst make sense in some areas…sorry~!

Oh, and in that roleplay, (still going on) The baby is- -shoved in the closet for opening her big mouth-…ow.

Please review and thank you for the positive comments~ ;)