Chapter 7: No Longer Secret
-Rana POV-
I had to say something. It didn't matter what. I just decided on the truth. The only thing I had to keep secret was Bill's secret power over me. I didn't have to keep this one a secret. Plus, Ford already knew more about Bill than everyone else in the room, possibly excepting me.
"I somehow have all of the Gravity Falls weirdness inside of me! The supernatural readings aren't just in the room, they're in me! The reason that Dipper went missing was because I accidentally shrunk him. We spent the past day or so trying to bring him back. The only people that know about this are in this room. I'd like to keep it that way, okay?"
I held my breath, hoping that Ford would keep my secret. Dipper was still unconscious. Pacifica and Mabel were darting their eyes between Ford and I, still trying to figure out what was going on. Soon, Ford responded.
"Well, this isn't the weirdest thing I've seen in Gravity Falls, not even close. And it's your secret, unless you want to tell it, it's not mine to tell. I won't say a word, but if you need any help, I'll always be around."
I sighed with relief, and then smiled. I was going to be fine. He wasn't going to tell. Then, I suddenly realized that there were other problems arising. There was one other new person who knew my secret.
Pacifica. She was going to be a bigger problem. Okay, she wasn't a huge problem at all. She pretty much just wanted to be involved in the whole magic thing. So, it was basically blackmail, but really it was just one extra person in the club. As long as that didn't become one hundred or one thousand, it would be totally fine!
A few hours after the events that had started it all, I was sitting on my bed, alone for the first time since I'd gotten to Gravity Falls. I decided that it was time to call the agency and tell Mrs. Matthews how things were going. I hoped so much that she wouldn't be mad.
As the phone rang, I got more and more anxious. What would she say? Would she be disappointed? Would I get sent home? There were so many questions to be answered in this phone call. Soon, the ringing stopped and I heard Mrs. Matthews' voice.
"Hello? Rana? I heard about the incident in the clearing! Is everyone okay?"
I froze. I tried to tell her what happened but I choked on the words. Eventually, though, I found my voice and told her the whole story.
"…but now everything is totally fine, okay? Well, everything except the fact that you were right, and with a little help from the town, I'm channeling Bill's power! What am I supposed to do?"
There was a pause from the other side of the call. She must've been thinking. What if she was thinking about whether to send me home or not? What if she was just thinking of a way to tell me? I had to stay calm. This was professional. This was business. I needed to just get done with all of this. Once I had calmed down a little, as if on cue, she finally answered. Except she answered with a question.
"How many people know about this power?"
She really was good at this, wasn't she? I shouldn't have let all of those people know. This was jeopardizing the mission. She was going to fire me for sure when she found out the truth.
"Well, let's see. There's Dipper, Mabel, Pacifica, and Ford. I think that's it."
I was so worried after I told her this. It was only four people, but that's more than it should've been. It should've been none.
"Okay, fine. As long as it's nobody evil or anything, you should be okay. Just don't let any of them know the truth behind your visit, okay? It will put them all in danger."
I took a deep breath. She was handling this well! Still, I did have to be careful. No one was safe, everyone was dangerous. And if they weren't, they were in danger. They were in danger because they knew me. I was dangerous. I also needed to speak before it was found suspicious.
"I won't let anyone know why I'm here. Nobody hears a word."
I stared up at the wood ceiling, which was covered in lots of things that I could never explain without throwing up. I was just worried that things would get harder, or that someone might be listening. That didn't matter to Mrs. Matthews. She went on.
"And I've already heard about your first night. Nobody hears, Rana, not even Dipper."
I took an even deeper breath than before. Then, with sadness in my heart, but no way of knowing that from an outside viewpoint, I responded.
"Nobody hears. Not even Dipper. I understand."
As we ended the conversation and said our goodbyes and then hung up, I heard a noise outside my door. I put my phone down, and walked over, silent as possible. Then, I put my hand on the doorknob, and turned it. When I opened the door and saw what was outside, I nearly had a panic attack.
Dipper was standing outside, ear pressed against my door. He had been listening. By his expression, I could tell that even if he had not been listening the whole time, he had still heard enough. I still found the need to ask.
"How much did you hear?"
He looked at me. There was shock, terror, confusion, and even betrayal in his eyes. He seemed to struggle just to speak.
"I heard enough. I heard that you were keeping something from me. Keeping something from all of us! What are you hiding, Rana?"
I looked at him. I could see all of the shock and terror and confusion give way to complete betrayal. I then had the best and worst idea I'd ever thought of. I knew what to do. I just didn't want to do it. The first step was to vent. I started by telling him everything, from the agency to the full truth about Bill. When I was done, he took a while to respond.
"I'm so sorry. That's awful. But I guess I need to thank you."
I sighed. At this point, I was almost crying. I knew how this had to end, but I didn't know how to do it.
"No. You don't need to be sorry, I do. And you don't need to thank me, you really don't."
I looked over to the item that had magically appeared on the floor next to me. And when I say magically, I mean literal magic brought it there. I was getting good at making it less noticeable, especially with small things like this. Still, no matter how good I was getting at making a random/not-so-random object appear, this was going to be hard.
I noticed his face become confused again, and I decided it was time to just end this. I picked up the object, and pointed it directly at Dipper. No. It was not a gun. It was a memory eraser. I had to erase his memory of everything that had just happened. He couldn't know.
He was staring at me with that betrayal in his eyes again. I could also see a hint of confusion in his expression. I was in tears. He spoke, in a shaky voice that I'd only ever heard him use when he had found out about Stan's portal for the first time. Back when all that Gravity Falls could be was a TV show.
"What's going on? Rana, you don't have to do this! Why do you even want to?"
Then, as he finished that last sentence, his expression darkened. He had figured it out. Well, he had figured something out. I wasn't sure what he was thinking until he brought it to words.
"Or maybe this was always the plan, maybe you were planning to do something even worse the whole time! You never wanted us to be happy, you only kept all those secrets from us so that you could hurt us!"
His confusion turned into sadness, and then to anger, and then to full-fledged fury. He had it all wrong! But that didn't matter, because soon, he wouldn't even have any idea that I wasn't who he thought I was. I could say whatever I wanted, because he wouldn't remember afterward.
"No! You're wrong! I cared about the both of you immediately! Why do you think I told you all of this? Why do you think that Mrs. Matthews would even be worried that I would tell you on purpose? I just couldn't let you in on anything, for your own safety!"
Once I had finished saying that, I was breathing so incredibly heavily. Dipper's expression was a little bit lighter for a second, but then he seemed to dismiss the thought that I might be telling the truth.
"No! You're lying! You've been lying to me this whole time! I'll never trust another word you say, ever again! I'll tell everyone, and I'll get Bill out of you and defeat him myself. The only thing I will ever do for you is defeat Bill. Nothing more."
I was sobbing so much that I could've sworn that there would be a flood within minutes. It was a wonder that my magic wasn't swirling out of control, yet! Not yet. I would lose control soon, so I needed to just get this finished.
"Listen, I can get rid of Bill alone. Anyways you won't be telling anyone about this, and I am so very sorry. You just can't know yet. You don't know me well enough to trust me. And I will be sent home or worse if Mrs. Matthews finds out that you ever knew. I am so sorry, I really am. I really do love you. And I love Mabel like she's my sister. The problem is, you won't remember me telling you this in a few seconds."
My tears were flowing at a quickening pace. I was getting ready to erase his memory, but instead of pressing the button, I let the object melt into my hand, so that I could use the power myself. I couldn't have evidence afterwards for him to follow. He said a few last words, both of us in tears. My tears of sadness, and his tears of anger.
"I will find a way to get my memory back. I will figure it out again! I won't let you stay in Gravity Falls!"
As I channeled all of the magical energy throughout my body, tears streaming down my face, and got ready to erase his memory, I said one last thing to him, knowing that he wouldn't remember later.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry. But you won't stop me, you won't remember, you won't keep me away."
With that, I closed my eyes and looked away, and took away his memories of the past hour that we had been talking. Then I dropped to the ground, weakened.
Immediately after that, Mabel walked into the room. This family has no manners at all! I only had a few seconds to stand up straight and pretend that everything was fine. Dipper had just recovered too, so I was going to be fine. I sighed with relief that everything was over.
Then, I realized it really wasn't over. It wasn't even nearly over. Mabel and Dipper's eyes went wide, and I saw a blue fire surround me. The uncontrolled magic was simply delayed. I had no idea what was coming next, but as long as both of the twins trusted me again, it was all going to be okay. It was all going to be okay.
A/N: This chapter went way differently than expected, huh? I guess I'm just following in the footsteps of Gravity Falls itself. Do you guys like my new update schedule? I hope so, because it's much easier to do. I can't wait for the next chapter, More Than Expected.
Riddle: A memory gained was lost so soon. Each memory lost will bring one more new. All that's been lost will soon be found. Families, memories, and the horrible past surround.
