Kurt's Recollection of Saturday morning

What a shit storm Saturday morning turned out to be! The land line phone started ringing off the hook from the moment we got up, since it seemed that everyone read their papers first thing in the morning. Within forty minutes of the first call, Dad yanked the phone cord out and we shut off all our cell phones. There were a few positive people, calling in support, but most people were very angry and abusive. Now, I expected the typical homophobic,"you're son's a fag" calls, but I wasn't expecting the very hurtful "have you no respect for the greiving families" calls. People were suggesting that Dave and I just wanted attention or were using this tragedy for our own selfish means. One person accused me of using my experience in the shooting as a platform to promote my political gay agenda. This seemed such an unfair accusation since it was the police leaking our interviews that got us in this situation in the first place. I also wasn't expecting the death threats either. Those were scarey and even if we didn't believe the stupid jerks to carry out their threats, Dad immediately reported them to the police.

I thought the phone calls were bad but Facebook was even worse, since many people could say what they wanted to in complete anonymity. In the end, I decided to temporarily close my account and wait out the trolls. I did peek at Dan's facebook page and it was even worse than mine. I had expected vitriol but nothing like the cold, callous hatred we were experiencing.

I was worried sick about David. I had a working solution for the phone situation, I was completely ignoring texts and only answering the ring tones of my friends who phoned me. I tried sporatically through the morning to call Dave, but he was not responding. He obviously had his cell phone switched off . I wanted to see him but I didn't dare go outside.

We constantly heard knocks at the front door and back door,and taps on the windows which we ignored. People were actually coming up to our windows and peering in. We could see the shadows through our drawn drapes. Dad got angry and opened the door to yell at the jerks but came face to face with a big group of journalists camped outside our door.

During the morning I read the article featuring Dave and myself. I could understand why people were mad, the article made a big deal about us being gay heroes. It started with the police report (glossing over the fact it was leaked). Either Chad had mashed the two interviews together and edited it in a way to make it like a narrative or it was leaked that way by a creative person on the police force. It was cut to it's bare bones but it was still an exciting read. I had lived it, yet I was racing through it almost wondering what would happen next. After the police report the rest of the article was structured in a question and answer format. Most of the general questions about what happened at the school were my answers. Most likely because I refused to answer any personal questions about Dave and myself during the interview. Most of the personal questions about us were answered by Dave. He held nothing back; he talked about his bullying of me before the shooting why he did it and how grateful he was that I bravely the stepped between him and gunman. He talked about how difficult it was to be an gay teen in conservative Lima and why he was coming out after being in the closet for so long. He described how close we had gotten since the shooting me and how proud he was to be my boyfriend.

The article ended with the reporter opining in very political terms about gay youth and gay rights. I was left feeling uncomfortable about how the article became his soapbox about gay equality rather than about bullying or gun control. It's no wonder we got such angry phone calls. Chad was waving a red flag to a bull and was using our experiences as his material. I threw down the paper in disgust.

"Monday's gonna to be bad." Finn announced gloomily.

"You're worried about Monday? We have to survive today and Sunday first!" I respond.

"Is it really going to be that bad?" Carol askes,"Surely by Monday, everything will have blown over."

"I doubt it, You don't understand the jocks the way I do." Finn answers.

"Why is it going to be so bad?" I ask, genuinely interested since I believe Finn when he says he knows the jocks.

"It's like this. They lost so many of their own. They have been humbled and feel weak right now. Then you guys come along and start bragging about what heroes you are and-" Finn raises his hand against my protests, "I not saying it's true, I'm talking the way they'll be thinking. They see that you braved Robbie and got away scott free, not only that but one of their own decides he's gay and wants to date his previous victim. What does that make them? They bullied kids too, so are their victims going to think they're gay? The only way to get back their control and to avenge their friends is to make your and Dave's life as miserable as they can."

"Finn, you don't think like that do you? You don't think that Dave and I want any of this publicity do you?" I asked, suddenly needing reasurance.

"Of course not. I've been with you every step of the way haven't I? I've seen how both you and Dave have anguished about all this."

"Thanks Finn, I couldn't ask for a better step-brother." I respond warmly, meaning every word.

By the early afternoon, I couldn't stand it any longer, I wanted to see Dave. I determined to brave the press outside so I got dressed up and with my Dad's and Finn's help, I pushed through the group of media people at the door and made it to the car. I couldn't back out of my own driveway because of the journalists and their cars so I drove over my lawn, driving like I care if I hit anybody. Boy, did they scramble out of the way pretty quick.

I headed off to Dave's house followed by a posse of media people. When I finally arrived at Dave's house, I could see it too was under seige with reporters and photographers wanting to get a story. I marched up to the front door and knocked loudly and insistently, hoping that someone inside would come to the door. Of course a deluge of questions were screamed at me as I stood by the door. I was even jostled a bit as the group closed in on me. It was very disconcerting and scary so I pounded on the door more desperately. Finally, there was an brief flutter of a curtain, a pause, and then the door opened to show a very beleaguered and harried Paul Karofsky. He smiled at me briefly and quickly ushered me into the house away from the frenzied media. I had no time to relax though because as soon as I stepped into their livingroom, I came face to face with Mrs. Karofsky. She was an attractive woman but I could see night away which parent Dave got his scary scowl from.

She looked at me like I was something that climbed out from under a rock, and she said,"So you're Kurt, the boy who caused all this trouble! You're an evil, and selfish punk bent on destroying my family!"