Children of the Mirror 3: Acceptance
...Seventh Part: Krad...
I provoked him, but I was also the one to stop whatever it was we were about to do.
Dark guided me back to the bed, unfastening the buttons on my shirt as we made our way over there. I fell back onto it and Dark crawled onto the bed on top of me, moving away from my mouth to exploit other places on my body. His lips trailed across my jaw and back toward my ear, where his teeth and tongue joined in, and he kissed his way down my neck to my collarbone. Discovering a particularly sensitive spot in my nervous system at the base of my throat, Dark lingered, sucking and biting at my skin until my lungs stopped working right and my vision couldn't fully focus anymore. My fingers curled into the sheets, but they couldn't stay in one position for more than a few seconds.
Hands shaking, I pulled the hem of Dark's shirt up to touch his heated skin as he rocked our hips together. Then Dark sat up for a moment to pull his shirt off over his head and tossed it haphazardly to the floor, immediately coming back down to kiss my lips again briefly before attacking my bruised neck some more.
I stroked his sides; caressed his shoulders and arms, while his hands explored my body. I felt Dark's lips press against my chin and then he moved down, lower.
I was beginning to have doubts. Serious doubts. I didn't know exactly what it was that I wanted anymore and it was beginning to scare me. And yet, I thought I did want this to happen. I wanted Dark to touch all of me. I wanted to feel his hands on me and his lips... but it was a war within me.
I was a virgin, and I was nervous.
I was aroused, and I wanted Dark.
Part of me wanted to shove him off of me and cower in a dark corner somewhere where nothing could find me.
Another part of me wanted Dark's hands to not be so light against my skin. I wanted to tell him to touch me harder – bruise me from head to toe.
I wanted to scream.
I couldn't decide.
Did I really want this? Did I?
Did I...?
Really...?
Dark's hand slid under the waist of my jeans to caress my hip.
I sat up suddenly – too suddenly; my head swam and my sight blacked out for a moment – and shoved Dark's hand away, scrambling back against the headboard and pulling my knees in up to my chest. My breath came in deep, shuddering pants and I couldn't stop shaking.
"I can't do it," I said, threading my fingers through my hair and holding my head in my hands. "Dark, I can't..."
Anything sexual that might have been in the atmosphere had officially vanished.
Dark made his way across the bed over to me and sat next to me, starting to rub my back soothingly. "Hey... Calm down, alright? Tell me what's wrong – did I do something...?"
I shook my head. "No. You... It's... I just..." I moaned rather pitifully, and Dark wrapped his arm around me, pulling me against his side.
"Talk to me, Krad," he insisted quietly.
I shook my head. I didn't want to tell him.
"Krad... What's wrong?"
"I'm scared, okay!?" I nearly shouted, maneuvering away from him again. "But I want you, Dark..."
I twisted the cross around in my hands until it came off of my hair and snapped the band that held it up, letting the long blond strands fall around me untamed. I was getting sick of the tension in my head that came from the tightly bound ponytail.
"I wanted everything you were doing," I told him. "And I wanted even more. I wanted you to touch me all over and abuse me and make me feel good... but now... I'm not as sure as I was before.... I'm afraid, Dark. I'm afraid I might regret it, or what if something goes wrong, or..."
"You're just not ready yet," Dark said. "I can understand that."
"You can?"
"Of course I can." A half-hearted smirk crossed his features. "And besides, Emiko should be happier for it."
I laughed a little at that, but that also was half-hearted. I felt horrible.
"Do you want me to go sleep on the couch for tonight?" Dark offered, giving me the option of privacy to sort things out.
I declined. "Stay with me. I'll feel better once I get some rest..." I relinquished myself into Dark's embrace after changing out of my jeans and easily fell asleep in his arms.
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You guys almost got a lemon, but not quite. There might be one later on in the story. I'm still deciding.
