Chapter 8

Insanity

Diva sat at the long dining room table. All the windows in the room had the curtains drawn- the room was dim. Diva had her head resting on her arms, her face buried into the wood of the table.

She had been here since last night, only getting up once to get a glass of blood- she wasn't in the mood to take it from Nathan or a random human- which she promptly forgot about.

She groaned, awakening from the half-sleep that had been tantalizing her all night.

"So, having trouble with the little rug-rats, are we?"

Diva groaned again without looking up. "Shut up, Nathan."

"You haven't even told me how your little plan went. Not well, I assume?"

Diva growled. "I said, shut up!!" She flung the glass which was in her hand at him. She didn't have to look up to know he head caught it before it reached its intended target- his face.

"I'll take that as a 'no,'" Nathan said. The scraping sound Diva heard told her Nathan had seated himself at the opposite end of the table. Yes, because she so wanted to talk to Nathan about yesterday.

"What happened? I thought you were going to bring back Saya's head as a souvenir."

Diva finally looked up. "I...I couldn't kill her, okay?!"

There was a silence for a moment, then Diva dropped her face into her hands. "Wha- what do I do, Nathan?"

Nathan filled his face with false surprise. "You're actually asking moi? I'm flattered."

Diva looked back at him and sneered. "Well, seeing as you seem to disapprove of everything I do lately, I thought you might want to actually share your views."

Nathan smiled, but them it abruptly faded and he sighed. "Well, that depends, I suppose... what exactly is it that you want, Diva?"

She looked at him in exasperation. "My babies to love me, of course!"

Nathan sighed again. "Which is more important to you- for them to love you, or for your children to be happy?"

Diva pondered this a moment, holding her chin with two fingers. "Both," she decided.

Nathan laughed. "I'm afraid it may not be so simple, my dear."

"Why can't it be?" Diva asked bluntly.

Nathan's face was grim as he sighed again. "Those girls were raised as humans, Diva. That is the world they know, and to them, we're monsters out of their worst nightmares."

"They're young. They'll forget," Diva growled, becoming angry now. "And they're mine."

"To you they are, Diva, but to them, Kai is their father, humans are their family. To them, they belong to them."

"Kai, Kai, KAI!" Diva yelled, slamming her hands on the table and rising from her chair. "That's all I ever hear! From all of you! God, first it was Saya, now it's HIM! I'm sick of it!"

Diva paused to breathe in deeply, closing her eyes, and regained control. She opened her eyes and sat back down. "And what, may I ask, are you implying anyway, Nathan?" she asked through gritted teeth.

"Why, me? I'm not implying anything," Nathan said, grinning, as he pushed back a strand of hair from his face.

Diva glared at him. "Fine. But I know you have opinions, you always do. So what, praytell, do you suggest in this situation?"

Nathan rested his face in his cupped hands and leaned forward. "Do you really want to know, dearie, or are you just going to fly off the handle again?"

"It depends on what you say," Diva said honestly, her face flat.

Nathan frowned. "I suppose that's all I can ask for," he sighed.

He paused dramatically, and Diva made a mental note to hit him for it, later.

"In all honesty, Diva, I believe that your best option is to return the girls to Kai," Nathan said finally.

Diva stared at him a moment, stunned. She had been prepared for so many other things- oh, what she had been prepared for! After all, it was Nathan- but she had never thought he would ever say this, could even think such a treacherous thing!

"...What?" She finally asked, horrible menace in her voice.

Nathan sighed, a sure sign that he had been expecting this, which only served to aggravate Diva more.

"No. No!" she roared, standing up. "How dare you even say that?! NO! I'll never give them back to that stupid human!!"

She was panting now, about ready to go slap off the stupid grin Nathan had been wearing the entire time. He held up a hand and pointed to the doorway behind her.

"Then tell them that, not me."

Diva turned and stared, eyes wide and face ashen, into the similar faces of her two daughters. They held a mixture of shock, sadness, and hatred.

Diva looked at Nathan, then back at the girls, then back at Nathan, her breath creating a soft, hysterical kind of sob.

"D-damn you..."

She hadn't strength even to kill Nathan for this. She just turned, walked past her daughters, and went in a numb state all the way to her room, arriving without remembering the journey.

She fell onto the bed, curling into the pillows, sobbing hysterically. She couldn't sing to make this go away. She had nothing. Had this been Saya, no doubt someone would have come to her, patted her back, told her it would be okay. But Diva had no one.

That was what the girls were supposed to have been.

But they hated her. Now more then ever, courtesy of Nathan. Diva thought back, and in her hysterics she found it funny. She had so many Chevaliers before, but not one of them would have done this, comforted her. But Saya's one Chevalier had caught her every time she fell, hugged her, comforted her, promised her eternity together.

It was so funny, the odds were so obviously in Diva's favor, but Saya picked the right Chevalier.

And even her daughters. She had learned it from Saya- families were supposed to love each other. Though of course, she and Saya had not. Perhaps when looking for family, it was best to not be related by blood?

It was so funny. Diva clearly had the better chance, but still Saya had it all.

Diva wondered why Nathan had revived her if he meant to take away any chance she had to get what she wanted.

Maybe it was fun to her Chevaliers, to do that. Watch her squirm, watch happiness drain from her eyes. Amshel certainly had enjoyed it. And Solomon, too, in the end. Nathan was now. And Karl had just been crazy at the end of his life...well, his whole life, really. At least when she had known him.

Perhaps being a Chevalier made you crazy? Yes, that was it. It made you crazy. They told her it made them love you, bu really they hated you for making them crazy, so they stayed by you, biding their time until they could take happiness from under your nose. Yes, that was what it did...at least what the younger Queen's blood did...

She had once heard the theory that Queens were naturally antagonistic with their sister. It had made sense to Diva- why not kill the one person who could kill you? Perhaps it was this way for Queens and their mothers, as well. Maybe Diva would have hated her mother had she known her. That would explain why all the fates seemed to be against her pursuit of happiness.

Diva had never much believed in the human's God, but she silently begged now, in case He was there, for Him to have pity on her.

Okay, now she was going insane. Perhaps eventually the Queen's own blood made her insane, like with Chevaliers! That might be a relief- at least she would have an excuse.

Diva laughed hysterically through her sobs. So, she was backed against a wall, eh? She had nothing and no one, and she never would. She happily let herself fall into the black despair which waited for her.

It was a relief to let go, stop hoping. But at the same time was excruciatingly painful. She couldn't stay this way long. It was her way to keep going, however hopeless, however painful, it was vital to life to take that next step forward.

She didn't know how not to.

So such had been her life. Forward, forward, making only enemies, receiving only hate, solitary. Maybe this was wrong, but it was all she knew how to do.

She could no longer hear her own sobs, though whether they had ceased or she could no longer hear them, she didn't know. Nor did she care. She was broken again, red glimmering crystals on the floor, slowly turning to red dust, blowing past in the wind.

And there was Saya, watching her go by, her sword entwined in blue roses. Saya even held one in her hand.

And there was Kai, playing with her girls in the park, comforting, hugging, and the girls laughed. God, they were beautiful. They watched her fly by, and held out dandelions as she passed.

And Riku, he sat on a rock, swinging his feet. He grinned as she passed.

And Solomon, he watched her go by with a smile, untainted by sadness as the last time she had seen him. He waved as she passed.

And James and Karl passed, and someone who might be her mother, and Amshel, and Nathan and she was crying now, tears falling from the red dust. They held out their hands as she passed, and each person called to her, all saying the same thing.

"Sing. Sing for us, Diva."

And she obeyed.


The girls watched their mother's sleeping form for a while. Her face had tear streaks on it, and her expression was unfathomable as her lips moved quietly as she slept.

Yuki and Sakura stood transfixed, clinging to the side of the doorway. This was not the woman they had grown to know. It couldn't have been. She didn't cry, she didn't....she didn't....

"Yuki," whispered Sakura, "what's going on?"

Yuki shook her head. "I wish I knew."


A/N: Oh my god, I'm crying now.

Poor Diva. Yeah, I know, no Kai, sorry. But he didn't fit in this chapter. So, please ignore his absence and review, okay? And yes, I have finally mastered editing the document! No more confusing scene shifts! Too bad I didn't get to use it much here. :'(