I know it's been so long... again for the millionth time. Still, I worked my hardest to make this one as long as possible, for it is the dinner scene. In which every chapter has been leading up to. Though, I'm sure you should find it to your satisfaction. insert smiley face here . Well, I'm sure you're all dying to move on, so I won't keep you any longer. I hope you enjoy the chapter!


Kagome gulped nervously, shuffling her feet slowly towards what she realized was the only seat left at the large rosewood table; the one right across from a certain hanyou she had all but desperately tried to avoid over the better part of a year's length of time. Inuyasha. The very same person she had loved, and still loved irrevocably beyond anything else that had once made so much sense to her. Such a thought sent shivers down her spine.

She sat down very slowly, calmly, so as not to seem too panicky. Still, even if she had told herself she was not on the verge of a fit, she would have confronted herself with lying through her at teeth; for her heart had already started racing dizzying speeds that made her mind whirl, and her stomach lurch. As her surroundings began to spin, she couldn't even really be sure if it was her heart so much as the hum of the blood pulsing in her ears. Perhaps, if she had given it more thought, it was both and maybe even neither.

Cautiously she looked down to examine her plate as her heart began to mellow out, trying hard not to put anything that belonged to the hanyou in her line of vision. If she did, she wasn't sure she'd be able to stop herself going into the hysterics she had fought to suppress upon walking into the room from square one. Someone was asking her something now, and she looked up without really hearing the comment. She smiled sweetly, and answered back as best she could before drawing her eyes quickly back to her plate below her; the only real safe place for her eyes to lay rest. Soon, another person, though she was not sure whom, brought in the food and set it down on their plates for each of them, and Kagome watched as it was placed on her own. Yet, she still never dared look up. Instead, as the server moved away to someone else, she risked only so much as to pick up her fork and stab it into the plate's now filled depths where homemade cheese and sausage ravioli lay waiting. Lifting it up to eye level she allowed it to hover in midair, contemplating it. Ravioli wasn't something she particularly enjoyed. In all truth, Kagome hated the stuff. But, she would eat it, and she would, by force if necessary, make herself enjoy it. Once again overly cautious, she popped the large, overstuffed noodle shell halfway into her mouth and bit down. The shell gave way and the steaming cheese, sausage, and tomato sauce burst their way into her mouth. She had to keep herself from physically gagging, but never managed to suppress her mental reaction.

Ew!!!!!!!!!

Now she was quick, even quicker than anytime after she had stepped into the house that belong to the one she loved. Forcedly, she gulped down the rest of it. The weird taste of richness, salt, and bitterness lingered for a moment, but then it was gone and Kagome relaxed. Freedom. Taking comfort in her one small triumph, she took the time to cast a glance around at everyone else's plate (except for the one that belonged to the seat opposite of her), and whimpered in shock. They were all almost finished! Immediately she wanted to cry. Her victory had turned sour.


Inuyasha glared up at the girl across from him from under his thick bangs. It wasn't her he was truly glaring at, however. How could he? He was glaring at himself, and what he was going to do. What he had to do. Ever since Kagome had entered the room, Inuyasha had begun to rack his mind for a way to make her hate him. But even now he still didn't know. No matter how many times a thought with potential would come to him, he would recoil from it, doubt making him wonder if there really was a way tucked into the very corner of his mind that could possibly make something so pure hate. And it didn't help that Inuyasha felt conflicting emotions on the idea of tainting Kagome in such a way, especially in a way directed towards him. He watched sullenly as she picked up a piece of ravioli and popped it into her mouth, and his eyes twitched at the look of disgust on her face that followed, along with her forcing the rest down. This confused him. Inuyasha had always loved ravioli, and wolfed it down if it got too close to him on any occasion, but Kagome despised it without even the slightest bit of passion. Therefore, every time they had gone to an Italian restaurant, Inuyasha had been prepared to order himself the food that had been on his now clear plate and Kagome something else. Why then, was she eating it now? As he narrowed his eyes in skepticism, he noticed that she was now glancing around the table, a frantic expression crossing her face as she noticed everyone was finishing with their food. Was she afraid, perhaps, of the talk that would ensue later? A thought struck Inuyasha's mind as his eyes traced over her now furious expression, which he could only guess was directed towards herself, for a reason that was lost to him. The look had reminded him of something.

Kami, she looks like Kikyo. Immediately Inuyasha growled at himself in anger. His mind had betrayed him! What the hell am I thinking?! There's no way in hell that my Kagome could look anything like Kikyo! Kikyo's such a murderous, traitorous...

He stopped as another thought cropped up into his mind. That was it! If Kagome looked like Kikyo then... his heart wrenched even more than before, but he dismissed it. Inuyasha could pretend; trick his mind into thinking he was hurting Kikyo. He could do that. And he would have to. His human half cried out in pain against the idea, and his demon half protested, but he had made up his mind and nothing would change it. Not now that the decision was finally made. Shutting down his senses and feelings so they could not get in the way, he numbed himself and waited, normally bright amber eyes dull, for what was to come. Perhaps his mind had not betrayed him after all.


"Kagome..."

Kagome's eyes snapped up from her sinister plate of ravioli. It was mocking her; she could swear it. The soon met her mother's face and she smiled.

"Yes, Mom?" She chirped, trying to sound like everything was completely fine, even though she knew it wasn't.

"Kagome's mother frowned in concern and Kagome could almost feel the worry rolling off her mother in tender waves. "You've barely touched your food, dear, are you sick?"

Kagome mentally sighed. Leave it to her mother, as kind hearted as she was, to forget her utter and impeccable hatred for ravioli. Still, she laughed lightly, hoping no one, especi4ally the person sitting across from her, would notice it was forced. An angry growl came from across the table anyway, and Kagome's insides froze as she stumbled to find an answer. Everyone was looking at her now; wondering if she had gone made, possibly. She merely smiled apologetically for the laugh and instantly decided she'd play it up the sickness. "A little."

Her mother continued to frown and made to get up, pushing in her chair slowly. "I'll walk you home. You have school tomorrow; after all, the moving is all finished. But if you feel so sick you think you can't go..."

"Whoa, Mom," Kagome cried, shaking her head as her face began to brighten, "it's okay. I do feel sick... and I think I should go home, but I'm not sure if it's what I would consider sick enough to call off school. Besides, tomorrow's a Thursday. If I miss tomorrow, I'll have a ton of homework to do on the weekend."

Even as Kagome objected, her heart sank when she noticed that her mother had already pushed in her chair the entire way. The older woman was now bent gently in her daughter's direction, as though she was beckoning for a small child to come to her. Kagome wanted more than anything to be that small child again and race around the table and into her mother's arms; have her mother hug her tight and never let go. But she was older now, and she could never be that child again. Children did not love anything outside of their family, at least, not in the way she loved Inuyasha, and that in itself had assured her she had grown up.

"But dear, maybe I should walk you out..."

"I'll do it," A voice drawled from across from her. It had been such a long time since Kagome had heard Inuyasha's voice, but as he spoke she recognized it immediately. "I'm younger, no offense, and if she needs to throw up I'll be able to get her there in a hurry."

For an instant, time stood still. Sango, Miroku, and Rin all looked like they were about to go into shock, and Sesshomaru and Kojiro both stared at her as though waiting for her to turn and look at the person who had spoken. And, although better judgment would have told her not to, she did. What choice did she have, really? Her heart skipped a beat as her eyes traced over his outline and her vision faded as she felt her knees give. Everyone began talking at once; high and panicked voices echoing through the room and make her head throb painfully. Kami, had she just fainted? Well, as least no one could say she wasn't sick. Something was pressed into the small of her back, and she opened her eyes to see what it was. Her breath caught and held as she looked up once more into the amber orbs staring down into hers of chocolate brown.

Kami, kill me now.

The god mustn't have heard her desperate prayer, for she didn't die. Instead nothing happened at all, and with each passing second she began to wonder if she was doomed to forever look into Inuyasha's eyes, for those were all she seemed to be seeing at the moment. She focused a little harder on them, squinting vaguely to get a better look. They seemed duller than usual, like someone had turned off the lights, and only natural light remained. Nothing near how bright they could like.

How bright they should look, Kagome disagreed with herself.

The pair of eyes staring into hers blinked, and finally she was set free from his gaze to analyze the rest of his face. The nineteen-year-old boy holding her in his arms seemed totally indifferent to her swoon. His mouth was set in a stony frown, and there was no feeling in his expression. In all aspects, he looked dead. Desperate to look anywhere but at him, her eyes roamed around questioningly for what had happened to make them both end up like this before she immediately came to the correct assumption. The stress she had been feeling all day combined with the little to no food she had eaten, plus more stress, had caused her to become dizzy when she tried to get up too quickly, and had ultimately resulted in her faint. Kagome's mother had screamed and Inuyasha, being the action-reaction kind of person he was had, with lightning fast speed and accuracy, jumped over in the table in time to catch her before she hit the ground.

"Are you alright?" He growled, his voice overly bitter, "Can you stand?"

She blinked in surprise at the icy quality in his voice, but nodded. Satisfied, he stood up and hefted her to her feet by one arm, all in one painfully agile and graceful move. Everyone, except Sesshomaru with his heart of ice, seemed to rush around the table at once, concern overflowing and nearly smothering Kagome. Inuyasha, however, had a hold on her arm once more and was steering her towards the door, and she held up a hand to stop everyone else as they followed.

"I'm fine." Kagome assured them, panic rising as reality struck, and for the first time she really realized the situation she was in. Why had he offered to take her down to the door? Still, Inuyasha didn't allow her to utter any other words of comfort to the other worried members of the gathering. He seemed too dead set on getting her out of them room.

And out of his house, Kagome concluded grimly.

"Hold it right there, you three!" Inuyasha's father was speaking now, and he sounded strict. Apparently Sango, Miroku, and Rin had attempted to follow them. "If Kagome has mononucleosis, or something similarly contagious, I don't want you catching it. So stay here."

Kagome only had time to turn her head and look at their three stony faces just inside the doorway before Inuyasha pulled her the rest of the way into the hall and shut the door behind them. Without a word from either of them for what seemed like ages, Inuyasha lead her toward the stairs and down the steps.

They had almost reached the bottom when Inuyasha, who had been in front of her the entire time, stopped on the last stair. It was too late by the time she noticed he had stopped; she had already run into his back. With a yelp, she scrambled back up a step to show she was sorry, but the hanyou didn't move.

"Inu...yasha...?" The boy tensed at the sound of his name. Kagome gulped dryly. What was going on?


It was now, or never. Kagome had just spoken his name, and while both halves of him rejoiced, he did not. Inuyasha noticed that he had tensed, and automatically knew that Kagome wouldn't have missed the same thing. It was time to do what he had accepted this task to do. Putting on the most furious, deadly look he could manage, Inuyasha turned, making sure he eyes sparkled with malice. Malice towards the person he was pretending Kagome was.

"I never thought I'd see your face again." It came out in a snarl that surprised even Inuyasha. His heart cried out for him to stop, but his mind encouraged him. It alone seemed to understand.

His Kagome backed up another step, eyes large as a doe's. Fear and agony rippled off her skin and made her scent all the more intoxicating. Inuyasha's resolve wavered, but he raged at himself on the inside and quickly it recovered itself. He kept his hate filled glare.

"Inuyasha..." Kagome's voice was saturated in pain, her eyes already filling with tears.

Where had his strong and spirited Kagome gone? Was this was this what their breakup had done to her? He shook himself slightly. No, he couldn't think about that now.

"Why the hell are you here in my house?" Inuyasha growled dangerously, following her up a step as she backed up once more. "Do you think I belong to someone like you? You make me sick! Quit stalking me, you sick, crazy, psychotic bitch!!!"

Tears spilled over Kagome's eyes, and the smell of salt burned Inuyasha's nose. She looked like she was ready to fall to pieces at any moment. Still, he had to continue.

"I never loved you!" He spat, and she flinched with a small sob at the words, "Don't you get it?! You were only good for a couple of laughs! I don't love you, and no one ever..."

"That's enough," Kagome screamed, tears now pulsing down her cheeks. Inuyasha wasn't sure they would ever stop. Too stunned to do anything, he could only blink stupidly at the distressed girl in front of him.

"I can't believe that I... ever," She sobbed, placing her head in her hands and shaking her head furiously.

Inuyasha clenched his teeth. Something was destroying him from the inside, and he felt his own eyes water precariously.

"No, I can't..." He growled at himself so quietly he knew Kagome wouldn't hear over her sobs.

"I hate you, Inuyasha!"

It was sudden, and Inuyasha grunted in surprise. He looked up into the glittering eyes of his only love. She was glaring at him, her face contorted in pain. Her sobs hadn't stopped, but she was still screaming at him. Kagome closed her eyes, and then opened them again.

"Do you hear me?! I hate you!!!"

The last words, screamed louder than the others, stung his ears, and he winced. His eyes widened in utter shock, the pain in his chest already succeeding in ripping him to shreds. It felt as if his heart had begun to rot from the inside out, and he would never feel again.

"You may never love me," She continued, "and I will always hate you!"

Inuyasha didn't see it when it happened, but Kagome was racing past him, spluttering and crying. His front door slammed shut behind her as she raced down his front porch steps and towards her own house.

He had destroyed her, and every chance he ever had of being with the one he loved. A tear of his own rolled down his cheek, then a few, the first tears he had ever shed since he was young. Numbly he walked to his own room. The fact that his heart seemed it would never beat again comforted him. He didn't want to feel the pain. Quietly he walked back up the stairs and to his room, shutting and locking the door as he walked inside. No one would see or hear him. Crying was something best done alone.

Shakily he opened his dresser and dug through its contents. Finally his eyes met the thing he wanted. It was silvery, thin, and positively deadly. Inuyasha had purchased it right after he had broken up with Kagome over a year ago, when he had slipped into an undiagnosed depression. The same night it had been bought, he had dipped it into a small amount of acid he had abstracted from a battery. Not enough to melt away the skin of a hanyou, but just enough to make sure a scar was left behind when it was used. And so he had carved "remember the day" into his own skin.

He now felt the end he had used that very same night, touching it gently with only his fingertips. The acid had done a number on the razor sharp blade. It was dull, and coarse. He'd have to use the other end. Inuyasha closed his eyes and brought the blade to the same arm as before and carved three small words under the old scars from before:

I hate you

He examined it, touching the blood with, once again, his fingertips. It smeared and more blood oozed up from the small, thin, precise slices to take its place. Soon it would scab, and by tomorrow the cuts he had made would be gone. He mouth twitched grimly.

I need more batteries.


If there are any spelling errors, or things that don't make sense, please tell me so I can fix it. I hope you enjoyed the chapter.