The bash of the door hitting the frame as it shut jolted Levi out of his thoughts – his face a blank void as he stared down the man who had just entered. A large hand smoothed down blonde hair, before walking forwards, his footsteps echoing loudly against the vinyl platinum flooring. A familiar smile was sent in Levi's direction, the other just blanching in response.
"Don't you recognise me?"
"What are you doing here?" Levi's cold words cut through the tense atmosphere as he crossed his arms – an aggressive vibe being given out. Erwin just tutted as if he was talking to a child.
"Levi-"
"Cut the bullshit, Erwin. Either spit it out or leave." The man just shook his head, a small smile in place.
"You never changed." His hand placed on the dark haired man's shoulder, making Levi visibly flinch. Erwin stared down curiously at the others pained expression, as Levi clenched and un-clenched his fists, the pent up hatred over the years getting stuck in his oesophagus, choking him. "I heard you went clean. I was surprised to say the least. I didn't believe it but...here you are. You look...good." A thick bushy eyebrow rose, admiring Levi's slight form – the look in his eyes predatory.
The silence between them burned, Levi refusing to back down as he glared daggers at his former friend. The hand on his shoulder rose to caress the black haired male's throat, the others Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed nervously. Suddenly, a firm grip was taken hold of his jaw, slamming Levi hard back against the shelves – cans clanging loudly as they fell to the floor. A small cry escaped Levi's mouth as the back of his back collided painfully against the wood, eyes flinching shut as he struggled to pry Erwin's hands off of him. A low laugh was heard as the blonde leaned down patronisingly.
"It's been a while since I heard an equally erotic voice as yours." A flush of shame flooded Levi's face as his anger burst. Raising a leg, Levi swung it round – successfully colliding his booted foot into the blondes stomach. A groan was heard as Erwin's grip loosened, the breath pushed out his lungs. Ripping himself free, Levi took the chance to shove Erwin backwards – the older man banging into the opposing shelves, knocking over the bowls of fruit as he grabbed onto the counter to stop from toppling over.
"Shut up." Levi hissed, eyes glinting dangerously as he stalked forwards, each slow step powerful. "Shut up! You abandoned me. You have no right to come back now, or ever!" Levi trembled as the anger coursed through his veins, the pent up words escaping before he had a moment to regret them. His eyes narrowed as the perpetual scowl came back, his voice beginning to rise. "You left me for dead! What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Clutching desperately onto Erwin's jacket, the dark haired man gave him a good few shakes, teeth gritting. "You fucking abandoned me...!"
Erwin remained stoic as he watched Levi's outburst. Gently, he removed the other's hands from his clothing. "I abandoned you? You were nothing but a good lay for when I was high. Nothing more, nothing less. You were just a whore."
The jingle of the door signified it had been opened.
"Levi?" Eren's voice wrung out as the black haired man swallowed up Erwin's words, a mixture of emotions flooding him to the point where he didn't even know what he was experiencing. The taller male brushed past him, uttering a small goodbye as Eren rushed over, hands lifting Levi's face up – turquoise eyes wide in concern.
"Levi are you okay?" Eren's eyes flicked around at the broken and bruised food on the floor, putting the pieces together that there had been a fight of sorts. At the lack of response, Eren tried again, "Did you know that guy?"
Levi just shrugged, rubbing the base of his throat cautiously, the touch from Erwin having burned into his mind.
"Levi...you're shaking..." Eren's voice was gentle but obviously worried, as the dark haired male stared at his fingers that were indeed trembling. A large navy blue duffle coat just shucked off of Eren's shoulders and instead draped over Levi's shoulders as Eren sighed softly, placing a light kiss against his boyfriends temple. Levi's eyes shut automatically at the contact as he clasped onto Eren's coat tighter around him. "Let me clean up."
Leading Levi back over to the counter, Eren pulled out the stall for his boyfriend, who sat down deftly. Humming quietly, Eren returned the products to their rightful places, keeping Levi in the corner of his eye, who was just gazing down at the floor – as if trapped in his own thoughts.
"Eren." Levi's voice cut through the lack of communication between the two. Glancing over, Levi was still not paying attention to him visibly. "Why do you like me?"
"Huh?"
"Eren." Levi lifted his gaze – silver orbs glimmering as tears built up. "Why do you like me?" The words were a desperate silent plea, and Eren felt his throat go dry at the grief-stricken expression his boyfriend was wearing. Looking at the door, he sighed softly, hoping no one would enter the shop. Levi was not in the correct mental state to be working. Strolling over, he put on his strongest face. If Levi actually cried in front of him, he didn't know what he would do.
"You really have no idea why I like you?"
Levi shook his head, teeth tugging down his lower lip as he hid his face in Eren's coat, trying to hide his vulnerability.
"Well...where to start?" Eren leant against the counter facing Levi. "I like you because you're interesting. You give off this vibe – like you don't care about anything. But I think it's the opposite. You care about everything too much. And so you sever your ties with other people to make sure that no one can hurt you ever again. I like you because you sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of others. I like you because you're captivating. Since the first time I saw you in Armin's cafe, I was always hooked and intrigued. I like you because you've allowed me in, to see your weak and fragile and purely human state, and I like that I think you sub-consciously need me too. I like all of your shitty jokes, quite literally. I like the way you kiss me, as if you're holding back in case I break. I like the way you look when you've just woken up, and the way you're so oblivious to your appearance as you sleepily yawn and demand coffee. I like how you look and kiss and smile and how, despite your reputation and inner demons, you're strong enough to live through all that. Fuck...Levi...there's so much I like about you, I don't think I could ever verbalise all the points."
A small hand reached out, lightly clasping onto Eren's. A sad smile decorated Levi's face as the brunette just squeezed back, the contact comforting and reassuring. A silent thank-you was murmured and Eren just smiled in response. Levi was beautifully broken, but he would fix him.
"Can you call Hanji for me?" A cell-phone was pressed against Eren's palm and he nodded. Searching through the contacts, he finally found Hanji's name and pressed call, raising the technology up to his ear. A few rings passed before a women picked up, making Eren's brow raise questioning at Levi.
"Hello, Hanji speaking!"
"Uh...hi. This is Eren-"A squeal was heard before the woman replied rapidly.
"Levi's boyfriend?!"
"Yeah-"
"Wait! Why isn't Levi speaking? Oh God, he hasn't, has he?"
"Uh...no?" Eren replied a little confused. "We're at his workplace and I don't know why he wanted me to call you."
"I understand. I'll be there soon, tell him to hold on." And with the phone call ended – the brunette more confused than he originally was as he handed the cell phone back.
"What was that about? She seemed..."
"Annoying? Excitable? Wait till you meet her in person." A small smile appeared on Levi's face as he pocked the device.
Less than ten minutes has passed before Hanji arrived, pushing her hair back into a loose ponytail as she hurriedly entered the shop, noticing Eren and Levi instantly. Her face lit up when she saw Eren, a frighteningly manic smile in place as she reached out, tugging the brunette's cheeks, cooing loudly.
"You're even cuter than I imagined! Oh wow, Levi really scored on this one." A bark of laughter escaped her lips as Levi just swatter her hands away protectively, Eren grumbling as he rubbed his now red cheeks. "Anyway, Levi sweetie," She faced the man, pulling him into a tight hug, his face squashed against her shoulders. "Are you okay? What's happened?" Eren just stood by the two, hands connected to Levi's, the others eyebrows twitching, his voice taunt and strained.
"Erwin came by."
Her smile immediately dropped, acknowledging the severity of the situation.
"Oh..." Levi nodded, glancing at the floor as Hanji faced Eren. "Do you-?"
"He doesn't." Levi interrupted immediately, his grip tightening.
"Levi..." she chided. "You're working the night shift, aren't you? Go home. I'll take over. You need to tell him everything. And I mean everything." She gave him a stern look, like a mother scolding their child. Levi just groaned loudly in response before nodding defeatedly, knowing there was no point in disagreeing. Eren needed to be told anyway.
"Fine." He spoke quietly, forcing himself up. "I'll call you later."
"I'll be expecting." They shared an intense eye contact before Levi broke it off, tugging Eren with him towards the door. Hanji just called her goodbyes as she went to sign in, already another part time employee at the shop.
Stepping outside, a breeze washed over their faces, the coldness rolling down the winter night.
"Levi?" Eren turned to his boyfriend, utterly confused and wanting an explanation for everything.
"Don't. Please." Levi exhaled deeply, lighting up. "I'll tell you everything when we get back, okay?" Eren frowned but agreed, watching the tendrils of smoke float up into the night sky.
The journey back was tense and uncomfortable, the metaphorical weight of the world hanging on Levi's shoulders, dragging him down. His sat slumped against the car seat as Eren drove – a little jolty as the brunette was unfamiliar with the mechanisms of Levi's ride. The radio hummed in the background, a gentle breaker of the silence. Pulling over, Eren coaxed the car into a parking spot – the engine spluttering as it was shut off.
"Eren." Levi's voice was soft as he stared down at the dashboard. "Even if your opinion changes of me after this please stay the night." He looked up hopefully as Eren just smiled and ruffled his boyfriends hair.
"Of course."
The trailed up the steps – their shoes smacking resoundingly against the granite ground, butterflies of nervousness flitting around in Levi's stomach, the metallic taste of blood on the tip of his tongue as he gnawed at his lower lip in anticipation. Opening his front door, the black haired male hesitated. Did he really want to explain everything to Eren and have the boy potentially leave him? But likewise, Eren could quite as easily leave if he didn't explain it to him. Stepping in, they removed their shoes before Levi headed into the kitchen, making some camomile tea. Eren just leant against the doorframe, watching Levi intently. Once the drink had brewed, the senior lead them into his bedroom, automatically taking a seat on the plush duvet. Eren followed in suit, resting against the headboard, legs crossed.
"So..." He instigated.
"So..." Levi repeated voice breathy. "Right." He licked his lips nervously, trying to fight the twitch in his fingertips. "What have you heard about me?"
"Not much honestly. Drugs, drinking...sleeping around...y'know." Eren scrubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.
"Right." Levi nodded as he faced Eren."Well it's true. I used to, when I was younger. High school sucked. I fell in with the bad crowd due to having a disrupted family life – I met Erwin..." He exhaled shakily, closing his eyes as the memories flooded in. "I met Erwin and he managed to distract me. At first we tried the drugs just for fun – we were rebellious angry teenagers, did anyone expect any less? But then it got worse. The drug was our friendship. The drug was everything. Fights would brawl out. We did stupid shit we would never even think of otherwise. Then I slept with him. He'd fuck me so hard that I'd be numb, to the point where I couldn't even walk. It was mindboggling bliss because it numbed me." Levi's eyes re-opened, focusing on the ceiling. "But I wanted more. The normal dosage wasn't enough anymore. I wanted to reach that high again and again, especially when I realised Erwin only loved me in those moments. He didn't give a shit when we were both sober. But when we were on cloud nine it felt like nothing could affect us. I made acquaintances through a friend of a friend, granting them physical and, well, sexual favours in return for the only thing that could make me disconnected."
The male took a short breather, swallowing the lump in his throat as Eren just laced their fingers together, giving his boyfriends hand a reassuring and encouraging squeeze. "Then I must have taken too much, because the next thing I knew I was being rushed to hospital and Erwin was there. And he was angry." Lev unconsciously rubbed his wrists, as if the pain was still there. "He yelled at me so badly that day. About how I was throwing my life away. Not like he was any better. But as soon as I got released he promised to make things better. He promised he'd help me cut down, that I wouldn't be so reliant on him or the drug. He gave me this apartment, handing me the keys as my first ever responsibility. In the beginning he promised to help pay the bills and once I was steadier, he'd wean me off until I was fit enough to become a member of society and learn what independence was. But then he disappeared. He left me as a faulty individual, knowing full well that without his existence in my life I had nothing. He left me here and didn't even leave a note."
Levi's voice hitched, the noise causing his throat to close up, eyes burning as the tears weld up behind the glossy orbs. "I wanted to die. Without him, I had no reason. So I tried to die. But I was too fucking weak. I only got hospitalised. There I met Hanji. She was...friendly. Too friendly. She irritated me with her constant optimism. She knew I wanted to die, but she spoke to me as if I wasn't dead on the inside. She spoke to me day by day, filling me up with her stupid stories and experiences. We were released at the same time, and I'm guessing the reason she was so talkative was because she'd experienced a loss too. She didn't want to be alone. We were brought together by an unfortunate fate and somehow that struck a cord in me. She didn't try to understand me. She just tried to help me. And that's more than anyone's ever done for me."
"Being in hospital was hard because I had to go through withdrawal. She'd seen me at my worse but still accepted me. It felt like she was my soul mate, but purely platonic. I could never seek a relationship in her, especially after everything I had with Erwin. She needed me as much as I needed her, but emotionally. And...she helped. She didn't feed me fake promises and lies. She completed me, enough to pull myself together and move on. I knew I wasn't strong enough to commit suicide, so I had to drag myself through life until fate decided it was my time. And then I met you." Gray eyes flicked up to Eren's, the sparkle in them low and exotic.
"I met you and everything changed. You were irritating just like Hanji because you paid attention to me. I exist to live in the shadows but you singled me out. Whether it was that stupid puppy-dog-eye expression you were wearing, or how oblivious you were to my drawn out appearance, you sparked something. Originally it was just interest, because I knew once you got to know me you'd run. But you stayed. And...I think I liked that. But now you're going to leave me like everyone else, and I'm not going to stop you because it's entirely justifiable. I just wish...I just wish I was a better person to give someone what they deserve. But I'm a piece of shit."
Levi exhaled quietly, raising a hand to wipe his face from any tears that had escaped. A few moments dragged by and Levi felt like a ticking bomb, waiting for Eren to explode and high-tail it out of his apartment. What he wasn't expecting though was for a pair of soft lips to press against his, gentle and comforting. Before he even had a chance to respond, Eren moved away, with only an inch between their faces.
"Levi." Eren breathed, eyes looking down carefully, as if the black haired male would break. "Levi, you're not weak. You're stronger than anyone I know. You didn't die that day because unconsciously, somewhere in the back of your mind you knew you needed to live for this moment. You needed to live for me. You needed to live to meet me, and make me happy and realise that despite everything, you mean something to someone. You don't need the whole world to love you, because I want to be the only one to show you that love. I want to wrap you in a ball of bubble-wrap and claim you as my own because I don't want you loving anyone other than me." Pressing their foreheads together, Eren shut his sharp eyes, resting his hands on Levi's legs. "I love you Levi. You're my fallen angel and I wouldn't have it any other way. So please...let me love you." His eyes flickered open, the bright green clouding over with passion. "Please."
Levi just looked desperately at Eren, his eyes flicking back and forth as he bit his lip, heart aching. He didn't deserve someone like Eren. But Eren wanted him? It was confusing. Why would anyone want him? He opened his mouth to speak, but found the words choking his throat, a raspy noise crawling out of his mouth. So instead, he just gave a shaky nod. He was scared to let anybody have control of him like this. He didn't want the emotional attachment.
"Thank-you." A small smile made its way on Eren's face as the boy brought him into a hug, strong arms wrapping around his waist as he pressed against Eren's chest, the heat radiating off of him. Inhaling deeply, he pushed his face further into Eren's shirt, wanting to inhale everything about this man. He wanted to finally belong. Light kisses were pressed to the back of his neck, and Levi just shuddered quietly, clasping lightly onto Eren's shirt, in fear this was all some sick dream.
But no. This was no dream. This was reality. And Eren loved him. And he might just love Eren back.
A/N
So thank-you to my two latest reviewers! You guys really made me happy because most of my reviews have just been, "please update" but you two sent pretty much paragraphs & made me happy 8D I love the fact that people are actually getting emotionally involved within this fic.
I know it's not the best, & it's my first try at Levi/Eren but D8 I feel like I'm doing a relatively good job?
So here were learn Levi's backstory – which I guess is pretty sad? Orz, okay it is sad.
I'm unsure of how many chapters will be left in this fic, but trust me that it's nowhere near finished yet!
So send me lovely REVIEWS if you liked please! :D
