On the way home I couldn't get my mind off of Edward. He was so mysterious and the weird thing about it was his timing. Who would have guessed that this guy who I was already falling for would show up right when I need someone to stop me from falling apart and doing something I would regret. I had run a million scenarios through my head about how to get rid of this ripping feeling in my heart but none had anything to do with a friend or…a boyfriend. What was I thinking? Boyfriend? Yeah right, a guy like him getting with a girl like me, only in my dreams. That was the worst part; I don't think I would be able to dream of anything happy ever again. My hands tightened around the steering wheel. This was a moment I could lose complete control of the car on "accident" and possibly, hopefully finish it all. No. I couldn't do that now. Not yet. Not until I was positive it was the only way out. I pulled into the driveway and dashed up to my room. Avoiding Charlie would get harder in time. I pulled off my damp sweatshirt and threw it on the ground. I stared at my bruised arms in the mirror. What a mess. This was not the way my life was supposed to go. No ones life was supposed to go this way. Anger, frustration, hurt, every emotion there was possible was building up inside me. Just looking at myself was repulsive! Before I knew what I was thinking my fist met with the mirror and glass shattered everywhere. I looked down at my hand, blood rushing down my arm. Charlie ran in looking very flustered.

"Oh my god Bella!" He ran over and grabbed my hand. I jumped back from the pain.

"I'm fine!" I shouted angrily, tears pouring down my face. I shoved him back out the door.

"Get out! Leave me alone!" I slammed the door in his face and slid down the wall holding my hand as I did. So many thoughts rushed through my mind. Suicide became an option, hurting myself did as well. How crazy was this making me? Was I really considering these options? I tried to take deep breaths, to calm myself down. My eyes flashed with interest. I knew what exactly I could do and where I could do it. And I was planning to…tonight.