I opened my eyes in awe to see the whole group, in the midst of the night, standing on the outskirts of what seemed to be a heavily guarded fortress in a desolated forest.
The fortress seemed impenetrable as it loomed ominously tall in the background. Under the light of the full moon, I could see the walls being guarded by tiny blurs, perhaps a night-time patrol on watch. My glasses were fogging up a bit, so I couldn't be too sure.
"There lays one of the Demon King's outer strongholds, where the Demon King's commanders rest between campaigns. Alright, Wraith Squadron, remember to only go in on when we start the diversion. Everyone, we're moving out!"
Everyone silently split off into groups, almost already knowing what they needed to do beforehand. I awkwardly followed my group as I had no idea what was about to occur.
Alright, this is it. My time to shine and flaunt my tactical prowess as the destined hero I am. I excitingly sneaked around the outskirts of the east side of the castle. Upon closer inspection, there was a force field surrounding the edges of the castle.
A crackling sound of thunder went off which made me nearly die of shock. It came from Circe's group. She was leading a line of Crimson mages who all simultaneously fired projections of radiant light into the force field. After three barrages, I noticed shield began to crack and dissipate. All of the guards on along the perimeter rushed to combat Circe's squadron, just as planned. Amazed by the spectacle, I watched as her group effortlessly dealt with the onslaught of guards swarming them, unfazed and cool under the overwhelming force.
I then looked around. Oh crap. My group has already moved in. As I eventually caught up with my group, I noticed the foreboding inside of the castle. It was dimly lit with the hazy glow of the full moon through its array of stained glass windows. It gave me shivers up my spine.
"Your job is to retrieve the Demon King's amulet. It's a green gem amulet. We'll keep them occupied in the meantime. Once you retrieve it, meet us at the rendezvous point." Squadron leader Ivan sternly informed me as we reached the main stairway.
Just as he finished, a several necromancers accompanied by their quivering skeletons swarmed around our squadron. The necromancers timidly demanded for us to stop.
"Stop intruders! You must leave the premises or we will probably use force! Though to be honest, we got a gig to get to later tonight. I would prefer if you guys just leave… Pretty please?"
The guild members' eyes and hands around me began to glow confidently with a distinct crimson light. My squad leader joked, "Hurry up recruit or you'll miss up on the fun!"
Wraith Squadron's leader pointed his staff to blast a ray of energy through the horde of cowardly enemies before them.
"Alright, let's see if you truly a Crimson Rose. Now go."
I nodded to Ivan and anxiously sprinted up the flight of stairs as the squadron descended upon the panicking Demon King's forces. When I reached the highest level of the castle, I turned around a corner to see a white translucent woman in a flowing dress chatting with two humanoid dragon guards. They reminded me of the Drakonid race fromthe fantasy light novels I read, scaley dragon-like beings of the typical RPG variety.
"I want this little charade to be crushed! I can't have my beloved master waking up from her beauty sleep. I'll slaughter anyone who fails to put down this pesky assault. GOT IT!?"
The translucent mature woman abruptly turned towards my direction of the hallway.
I instinctively hid around the corner right before the white spector could notice me.
"Hmmph. Thought I saw a cute little boy a second ago. Anyways, GET BACK TO WORK YOU LOUSY SCUMBAGS!"
"Yes ma'am!" The guards replied panicking and scrambling off down the stairs, failing to notice me.
"Hopefully this little incursion doesn't wake up my beloved onee-chan." She walked down the opposite direction and faded from sight.
With the white spector and her guards gone, I then rushed down the hallway towards what seemed to be the master chamber doors. The doors had an ominous atmosphere as it was aligned with twisted thorns and had whispers of agony emitting from its skull doorknobs.
I slowly creaked open the door and entered into the dimly lit master chamber. Inside, the large room was filled with wardrobes, desks and chairs, a room divider for changing, an elegantly adorned bed, and several trinkets lying amidst this cluttered, messy room.
I searched through the entirety of the room, frantically rummaging through the desks and wardrobes in futile hopes of finding this amulet. I couldn't fail this initiation. Otherwise, Circe would forever torment me as an incompetent drunk streaker…
Whilst searching through one of the wardrobes, I stumbled upon something glorious. In my hands, I held what seemed to be a magically infused lingerie set. The bra and panties glistened with a black aura in the beautifully vibrant moonlight shining in from the windows. My virgin male brain was overflowed with ecstasy as I held a girl's underwear for the first time.
What could I say? Any boy would do the same so might as well enjoy the moment. Plus, imagine how much I could make selling this to a romantically repressed prince or noble.
I tucked the bra and panties in my cloak as I proceeded to investigate the rest of the room. I noticed that there was a girl fast asleep, whose neck the green amulet hung around. I approached the bed and leaned over to carefully to retrieve the amulet.
However, just as I grabbed the amulet, the girl inadvertently grabbed me and threw me next to her as she turned in bed. I lay there, snuggled face to face with a fair snowy haired woman. My face became just as red as a tomato at the sight of her delicate sleeping face and the touch of her hands around my torso.
I should really be getting back to the guild with the amulet. But hey, I was snuggling with a beautiful girl who just happened to grab me. They can wait a couple of minutes while I enjoy myself.
She slowly opened her eyes a few moments later to see my delightfully smug face looking back at her.
"Evening gorgeous... Name's Koman. What's yours?"
She recoiled in response to me, instantly taking her hands off of me and covering herself with the blanket.
"What the hell are you doing in my bed!"
I laid there seductively with one hand on my waist and another on my face.
"Well, couldn't help it when you're the one who pulled me in bed." I teased playfully. I was essentially goading death at this point, but I couldn't help but give into my romantically direct nature.
She then began to form a dark magic blade with her flat hand and sliced at me.
"OH GOD!" I frantically rolled out of the bed to avoid getting sliced in two.
"Okay maybe a bit too far. Can we just talk this out? I'm sure it's all just a huge misunderstanding."
She saw that I held the amulet in my hands as I slowly backed towards the door.
"How dare you just barge into my room! You'll soon rue the moment you looted my belongings and desecrated my sacred body with your lewd gaze!
The white haired lady fired a barrage of dark projectiles that cut off my escape towards the door and pinned me to the wall as well.
She slowly walked out to me, in a very revealing one-piece, with a long dark void blade in hand that scraped across the ground.
Damn even in this situation, I can't help but admire those slim hips and gorgeously white long hair she had. That one-piece sure does compliment her sexy physique. Wait, compliments! THAT'S IT!
Just as she raised her blade to finish me, I exclaimed to her surprise, "I was just mesmerized by the sight of your heavenly body! Clearly, you're a lady whose divine beauty surpasses even the goddesses of this world. I knew from the moment I saw your angelic face and glistening white hair, I was in love with a fallen angel.
"Wait, you think I'm beautiful?" She lowered her sword and shyly looked down. "To say that to an unmarried girl and immediately profess that you lo-lo-love her..." She began to break down at the thought of my profoundly passionate and direct confession.
Excellent, just as planned. As a genius like me knows, things like compliments, chocolate, and expensive gifts are the achilles heels of women. With this opportunity, I activated my staff to free myself and clumsily swung at her legs, knocking her to the ground.
I rushed out towards the balcony but the scantily dressed lady pulled at my leg, toppling me onto to the ground.
She straddled herself onto me to deliver a flurry of blows as she fell into a flustered rage. Wait… is she crying?
"How dare you! I actually thought you genuinely liked me for a second. What rogue thinks he can play with a woman's emotions like that?! Die you stupid pervert!"
I desperately blocked her barrage of blows with my staff. As she tried to pummel me into submission, her swaying motion began to increase whilst she was straddled on top of me. And before I knew it…
"Oh you have an emergency dagger on you? Well then, it soon will be your undoing."
"NO WAI-"
She thrusted her hand and grabbed this extra dagger.
The girl paused for a second realizing her dreaded mistake. Whelp, if it wasn't standing before, it certainly is now.
We then looked into each other eyes with embarrassed stares for a few moments as we both realized what exactly just happened.
"…"
"…"
She quickly sprang backwards off of me upon that realization. "EEEKKK! Why the hell are you like that in the middle of a fight! You truly are some type of elite sexual harasser!"
"Not my fault! You kept swaying on my hips! It's a natural male physiological reaction!"
I then rushed, with a blushing face, towards the balcony's edge as my eternal shame had provided my escape opening.
"Wait, I'm not done with you yet! I'm going to make you pay for all the horrible things you did to me, especially you pointing me with your "spare" dagger. YOU HEAR ME!" the lady said whilst clutching herself, clearly traumatized by my "pointing".
On top the balcony's rail, I turned to bid this emotionally distraught lady good-bye with the amulet hung around my neck. Might as well have the last laugh.
"Farewell my easily tricked maiden! Just take comfort in knowing you were played by the rogue genius, Koman Takeda! Until next... Whoa Whoa…. AAAHHH!"
A sudden gust of wind blew past me. I then lost my balance and fell of the rail before I was done talking and especially before I created the parachute meant to help me get down.
The lady leaned over the edge to watch me as I escaped her clutches.
"You'll regret the day you ever toyed with the emotions of Elise, the Arch Priestess of Misery! I'll make you suffer every excruciating moment of your demise. I'll never forget you, Koman the perverted sexually harassing rogue!"
Ah. Girls angrily shouting my name accompanied with verbal threats, brings back memories.
When I suddenly realized again I was about to die, I reached for my Sozo box and desperately thought the first thing that came to mind which could save my life right now.
Just in time, the Sozo box glowed and created before me… the Beach Loli Contest Banner that was at the anime convention I went to a few weeks before dying horribly. Hooray?
I then barely clutched the banner in the air to catch the breeze and sure enough, the banner prevailed.
Below me, the fifty so Crimson Roses were effortlessly contending to the hordes around them. Some of the more cocky members were sitting in groups talking to one another, chatting in circles as they off-handedly destroyed the few minions brave enough to approach. Honestly, it seemed like the guild far outclassed anything that was stationed at this remote fort.
Upon seeing the amulet and the loli banner in the night sky, Circe, with a confused expression, signalled all of the Crimson Roses around her to move back to the rendezvous point.
As the loli banner safely landed into a tree, I fell down, exhausted from using the box.
Looking down Circe noted my accomplishment. "Nice job Koman. You managed to keep all your clothes this time."
Circe then carried me on her back to the rendezvous point where everyone was already waiting. She then recited the incantation once everyone was in the teleportation radius.
And like that we vanished from that desolated wasteland.
Once back at the town square, Circe dropped me and inquired where the amulet was.
Weak from the box and her sudden drop, I tiredly held an amulet in the air to answer her question. Don't know what's for. Don't really care. Don't have to deal with anymore guild interviews. That's all I care about.
She smiled. "A job well done. You passed your guild member test. You're apparently not completely incompetent after all."
"But wait there's more."
With the little energy I had left, I pulled out my additional bounty.
"Behold. A divine treasure amongst the mortal men of this realm."
I weakly waved the enchantedly glowing bra and panties in the air for all to see.
A roar of cheers from the male Crimson Roses erupted, elated at the sight of my heroic action for all of mankind.
Circe covered her face in disgust simply stating.
"Nevermind. You are a complete imbecile, little brother…"
