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Decode
When storms were rattling Elinor's windows and Meggie had to remind herself the place was solid, Farid would sneak into Meggie's room and they'd go to the attic and sit with Dustfinger. He always had nightmares when there were storms. Meggie supposed this was the reason she had fallen for him.
Dustfinger wouldn't admit it, but he liked to wake up to Meggie and Farid shaking him. It was these times when he would wrap his arms around Meggie and tell the two stories about his life. He hardly spoke of Roxane, except in passing, but he spoke honestly. If ever Farid and Meggie were going to hear the truth it was on those nights when fear only released its hold on his heart when he had a hold on Meggie.
On one of those stormy nights, Meggie brought something upstairs with her. A sheet of paper would become the door home. Meggie smiled when he kissed her in way of thanks.
How can I decide what's right?
When you're clouding up my mind
I can't win your losing fight all the time
Meggie didn't hate Dustfinger for not telling Roxane about them right away. Their relationship was unconventional at best and she was used to being secretive about it. Roxane was only a year younger than Dustfinger where she was 15 years his junior. Meggie knew she probably wouldn't understand.
Age was a touchy subject for Dustfinger when their relationship was involved, but it had never bothered Meggie. Until Roxane. When Roxane asked if Farid was Dustfinger's son, Meggie had laughed at first but it didn't take her long to remember that Farid was older than her. And if she thought Farid was Dustfinger's son...
The first week, the three of them slept on a straw mattress in the barn. Dustfinger held tight to Meggie and whispered that he would tell Roxane soon, after they'd settled in and the shock of seeing him wore off.
How can I ever own what's mine
When you're always taking sides
But you won't take away my pride
No not this time
"How can you stand her?" Farid asked one day when they were sitting in the barn.
"She's nice." Meggie half lied. Roxane did try to be nice, but she got a possesive look in her eyes when Meggie was close to Dustfinger too long or when Farid asked him to come outside and practice a new trick.
'Mine.' her eyes seemed to say. 'Mine first.'
"Not to me!" Farid protested. "And certainly not to Dustfinger! She married another man and had his children!"
"Child." Meggie corrected. "Jehan is a nice kid and I feel sorry that he lost his father in that horrible way. Not to mention Roxane's loss. A child and a husband? And as for Brianna... she's very kind."
She'd known the moment Brianna rode her horse into the yard that she was Dustfinger's daughter. Dustfinger had mentioned that he'd had children, Meggie just didn't realize how old they were. When Dustfinger found out about his younger daughter's death he'd been silent for a long time. That night, he'd held Meggie tighter than he ever held her before.
"Are you angry with Dustfinger?" Farid asked quietly, slipping his hand into hers and squeezing it. "It's been a week and he hasn't told her."
"No, I'm not angry."
How did we get here?
Well I used to know you so well
How did we get here?
Well I think I know
Dustfinger pulled the new tunic over his head and Meggie smiled at him.
"It looks wonderful."
"It looks like you spent too much on the fabric." Dustfinger replied, feeling the material.
"So I'll have to sing twice as well in the market place. You do like it, don't you?"
Dustfinger smiled and leaned down to her, kissing her soundly on the lips.
"Of course I do." he mumbled.
A dull thud made them jump and turn towards the noise. Roxane had dropped a basket of simples and was staring at them with shock.
The truth is hiding in your eyes
And its hanging on your tongue
"What's going on?" Roxane whispered, confusion writ across her features.
Dustfinger was numb with guilt and fear. He didn't want either one of them to be angry. Roxane could refuse to let him see his daughter and Meggie... he couldn't lose her.
Just boiling in my blood
But you think that I can't see
Meggie was dying inside. She knew he would choose Roxane over her. She knew him before Meggie was even born. They had children. If he thought she couldn't see the truth in his eyes, he was foolish.
What kind of man that you are
If you're a man at all
Well I will figure this one out
On my own
Meggie couldn't take it. She ran from the house, past Jehan and Farid, and kept running. She thought she heard Farid shouting, but it was drowned out by her own breathing.
How did we get here?
Well I used to know you so well
How did we get here?
Well I think I know
Dustfinger's heart pounded, threatening to leap from his chest. Farid wouldn't speak to him and Meggie was missing. He had tried to explain to him what had happened, though it wasn't like him to explain his actions.
"Please come back." he whispered.
How did we get here?
Well I used to know you so well
It was nightfall when Meggie came back to Roxane's farm. She could see a light in the barn, flickering softly. She almost smiled. What Meggie didn't expect was Dustfinger's look of relief when he saw her standing in the doorway. She didn't expect those thoughts in her mind to be decoded and when he hugged her tight against him everything felt alright again.
"Don't ever do that again, Meggie." he whispered. "I don't love her like I love you."
Meggie just held him tighter.
'But you love her.' she thought.
