Kilroy: We're starting with Reviewer's Corner today, because I have some steam to work off.

Reviewer's Corner

fireemblem fox: How can you not like orange soda! That's all.

Rlnaruhina: See, Lute, I told you people liked orange soda. Dude! Thank you for recruiting some reviewers for me!

Dairokkan: I agree, God's an ass.

Kilroy: (Mopping around) Hey.

Lyn: Is he going to be all right?

Hoobob: Well, maybe he's finally gone over the dead end.

Zero: We better get the padded room and straightjacket ready.

Kilroy: I NEED AN ORANGE SODA, NOW!

Lyn: All right, here you go. (hands him an orange soda)

Kilroy: (Downs the whole thing in 1 sec.) ANOTHER!

Lyn: All right… --;

Zero: At this pace we will be up to our eyes in cans before the end of the fic!

Recording: Kilroy does not own anything so stop asking!


Our heroes had left the old, rotten fortress, with their new friend in tow. They were setting off for the Lycian border.

"Mark, hey Mark, wait up!" Sain yelled to his companion. Mark just sighed.

"What is it Sain?" asked Mark. He had his suspicions but…

"I need some help on getting close to Florina without Lyn killing me," Sain said.

'Suspicion confirmed!' Mark thought. "I thought she was going to castrate you, that's not as bad as dying."

"For me it is!" Sain yelled. It was obvious that he was desperate. Mark decided to help him out a bit.

"Okay, I'll try to distract Lyn, while you talk to Florina," Mark said.

"Thank you!" Sain said before walking away. Mark got the feeling he was going to regret this. Oh well, he had made a promise to Sain.

"Hey, Lyn!" Mark yelled. Lyn turned to him.

"What do you want?" Lyn asked, somewhat annoyed.

"Well…" Mark said. 'Crap!' he thought, 'I really should have thought of something before I talked to her.' "I was wondering if you could teach me to use a sword," Mark said, thinking his ability to bullshit his way out of anything.

"Why?" Lyn asked, curious as to Mark's intentions.

'Why does she keep asking questions,' Mark thought. "Well, I thought that I could at least help out in battle if I'm going to travel with you." 'Yeah, that's it.'

"Alright, when do you want to begin?" Lyn asked.

"Well, right now is fine with me," Mark responded. Lyn got out an extra sword, in fact it was the one she used before she got the Mani Kati. She quickly learned that Mark barely even knew how to hold a sword. They didn't get very far into the training before…

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" came a loud screech from the distance.

"SAIN!" Lyn shouted in the direction of the screech.

"MARK DID IT!" was the response, which sounded a lot like Sain's.

"NICE TRY!" Lyn yelled back, "He's over here with me!" She then stormed off in the direction of the screech. Mark just stood there, cleaning out his ears. All of the sudden, Sain appeared out of a bush.

"I thought you were going to distract her!" Sain said.

"I know, she probably wouldn't have noticed, if Florina wasn't so loud," Mark responded. Then Florina stuck her head out of a bush opposite that of Sain.

"Oh, Mark, I'm glad I found you," Florina said, "You'll never guess what Sain did…" She stopped momentarily while she noticed Sain's head in the other bush. "…EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

"SAIN!" Lyn responded, from the direction she went earlier.

"MARK DID IT!" Sain shouted, somehow throwing his voice so that it sounded as though it didn't come from the same direction as Florina's screech.

"WHAAAT!" Mark shouted, stunned. Lyn came rushing up and started to clobber Mark. It took the rest of the group plus 15 random, completely irrelevant to the story, generic strong men to pull her off of Mark. Luckily, Mark escaped with only a few bruises, but Lyn was so pissed at him that when he tried to explain what really happened. Since he couldn't get Lyn to listen to him, he went looking for Sain. He was going to die.

Meanwhile…

Sain and Florina were in a bush, laughing quietly. "Thank you for including me in this," Sain said to Florina. "What is the rest of the plan?" Florina whispered into Sain's ear, explaining everything. Sain started laughing hysterically, luckily nobody heard him. "That-that's perfect!" Sain said. "But, why pick me to help out?"

This statement caught Florina off guard. She wasn't as blessed as Mark in the bullshit department, so she just told the truth. "Well, you are the only guy here that doesn't really creep me out anymore," she answered his question.

"Really?" Sain asked, hopefully.

"Yeah…" Florina responded. They sat there, enjoying the moment, that lasted about two seconds before Mark found them. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Florina screeched, jumping into Sain's arms, whose ears and eyes to start bleeding (I don't know how his eyes bled either) as a result of the scream.

"MARK, IF THAT WAS YOU AGAIN, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" Lyn shouted, mad as hell. Mark looked around in a panic. He came up with a plan.

"Okay, Sain, I have a proposition for you," Mark said.

"I'm listening," Sain said.

"You run away from he as fast as you can, and I won't tell Lyn I saw you two together," Mark said, seeing the look on both their faces, who started to grin inwardly.

"Alright," Sain said, his eyes and ears somehow healed. Just then, Lyn came up, Sain dashed off, Mark hid in the bushes, and Florina looked stunned. Lyn automatically went after Sain, who had already found another hiding spot. She went back to where Florina was, and asked what happened.

"What happened?" Lyn asked Florina.

"I'd rather not talk about it," Florina said, still sounding as though in shock. Lyn believed her and went to look for Mark, whom she wished to apologize to for earlier. Mark came out of the bush, Sain came back and Florina stopped looking shocked.

"A deals a deal," Mark said, "I'll forget that I saw you two together." Sain and Florina nodded in agreement. Mark then left to a place where Lyn could find him.

Meanwhile…

"Do you think that we will…" Dorcas said before Kent cut him off.

"Get any air time? I don't think so." Kent said.

"Wait, we're …" Dorcas said before Wil cut him off.

"On right now," Wil said, "Yes! Now…" The camera cut him off.

Meanwhile…

Lyn finally found Mark. "I'm sorry about earlier," Lyn said to Mark.

"It's alright, I know you worry about Florina," Mark said. "I kind of worry about her sometimes too, she is very timid around men," Mark said, having already forgotten about earlier. There was an awkward silence there for about two seconds before they heard an awful shrieking voice that hurt their eardrums. They stood there, holding their ears to stop the suffering.

Off in the distance…

"I'm tired, Erky carry me. I'm bored tell me a story. Oooooh, who is that over there, let's go talk to them. I wonder who they are. When are we going to get to Ostia! I'm hungry! Can we go get something to eat?" wined a girl with pink hair. She was with a purple hair boy who was rubbing his temples. He looked extremely annoyed.

"I swear that this in not the girl that I agreed to escort," said the boy with purple hair.

"Did you say something? Because I could have sworn you said something! Ooooh look at those people over there! I wonder who they are! They look like their in trouble. Let's go talk to them! Come on Erky!" the whiney girl said. The boy just stood there for a second thinking how nothing could drive him any further from sanity. All of the sudden a poorly drawn lightning bolt flashed in the distance with a KRAKA-BOOM!

"Damn ominous thunder!" the boy shouted. The girl came back and dragged the boy off behind her. They went up to the leader of the group. "Hello, who are you guys? Where are you going? Can we help? What's you name? Mine's Serra. This is Erk," the annoying girl said. They all looked at the boy standing next to her, they assumed that it was Erk, and the annoyance was Serra.

"All right, well let's get going," Lyn said. The started to walk off, but then Lyn stopped. "Something just doesn't feel right."

"I know what you mean, we haven't had to face some crazy bandit leader today," Mark replied. They started to discuss it. "So, you ask the author, and I'll stand way over there just in case of falling debris."

"Alright, Author!" Lyn yelled up at the sky. Erk sweatdropped and Serra didn't seem to notice. "What's with the no villain today?"

"Well, the damn ominous thunder's lightning bolt sort of killed him," a voice from the sky said. "I can bring him back, just for you to fight him if you like."

"No, we're good," Mark yelled up at the sky.

"You know I can hear you perfectly well when you don't shout," said the voice in the sky.

"Alright, well see you later," Lyn said. She then turned to Serra and Erk. Serra was annoying the shit out of Erk, who was curled up and sucking his thumb. Lyn sweatdropped. "Hey, Author, Erk just went completely insane, please fix this." Suddenly, Erk got up and looked completely sane again. Then he looked at Serra. He immediately started to run away, screaming. Serra caught him however, and dragged him back to the group.

"Hey can we travel with you? That would be really cool! Come on, there is an inn over that hill. Come on let's go," Serra said, excited to have new friends.

" Alright, we ditch her at the first chance," Mark said quietly to Lyn.

"No, we can't do that because we would loose Erk at the same time," Lyn responded. They just shrugged and decided to go along with Serra until they could think of a way to ditch her and free Erk.

They got to the inn and the seemingly same old innkeeper greeted them. Kent went directly to the bar. Sain immediately started hitting on the innkeeper's daughter. Florina quickly afterwards dragged him away from the poor girl. Mark and Lyn were talking over at a table.

"How about we continue the sword training sometime?" Lyn asked Mark.

"Sure, whenever you feel like it," Mark responded, blushing a little.

"How about right now?" Lyn asked expectantly. Mark gulped.

"Alright, now's good," Mark said. Lyn then lead him outside. They began to practice sword play. Mark could barely hold the sword. Lyn went behind him, rapped her arms around him and grabbed the sword.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" a mysterious voice shouted at them. "I'm with the FCC and we are censoring this moment due to too many possible sexual innuendoes." A man in a black suit walked up.

"HOW DARE YOU! I HAVE BEEN WORKING UP TO THIS FOR TWO PARAGRAPHS! YOU TWO GO ON WHILE I KILL THE (the rest of this statement has been censored by the FCC). WHAAAAAT!" shouted a voice from the sky. All of the sudden another "Damn ominous thunder" bolt came down from the sky and fried the agent. "You two just go inside, he ruined the moment. ANOTHER ORANGE SODA, NOW!" Mark and Lyn walked inside stunned and confused.

"What's the FCC?" asked Lyn.

"Well, where I'm from they censor things that are available to the public, but I don't know what they are doing here," Mark said. Then they saw Kent, of all people, hitting on Florina.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Florina shouted at Kent. Sain came up and started to wrestle his friend away, before Lyn saw him. But, alas, it was too late.

"KENT!" Lyn shouted. Kent just looked at her.

"Hey, Lyn, why are there five of you?" Kent asked.

"Kent, how many beers have you had?" Mark asked.

"One…Two…Three…Four…Five…" Kent counted using his fingers, "Woops, I ran out of fingers." Just then Dorcas walked up.

"Sir, I'm the bouncer and …" he said before Wil cut him off.

"Had enough," Wil said.

"I'll tell you (hic) had enou(hic)gh," Kent said angrily. He then passed out on the floor.

"I wonder why Kent has started drinking," Sain speculated. "He usually didn't drink back in Caelin."

"Well, we better get him to bed," Wil said. "Maybe it's the stress that's getting to him."

Lyn looked around, noticing that Serra was looking for something. "What are you looking for Serra?" Lyn asked.

"I'm looking for Erk. He's been missing ever since we got here. I wonder where he is. Why do you suppose he's hiding?" Serra whined. Lyn sweatdropped. She knew that Erk had gotten a separate room, just so that Serra couldn't bug him tonight.

"Maybe he already went to bed," Lyn told Serra. Serra then went off in search of Erk anew. Lyn then talked to Mark about room arrangements.

"Well, I don't think there would be many objections for room arrangements by anyone," Mark said, "except for who beds with Serra."

"Maybe we can draw straws for it," Lyn said. Having no better ideas, they got a bunch of straws and cut one short. "Alright everybody, we are going to draw straws to see how shares a room with Serra." They all drew straws. Dorcas was the unfortunate one who drew the short straw.

"But I don't want…" Dorcas said before Mark cut him off.

"Want to share a room with Serra, well to help you out," Mark said, pulling something out of his pockets, "here are some earplugs." He handed over the earplugs and Dorcas went off to his room.

"Alright, as for the other arrangements," Lyn said, "Kent with Sain,…" Lyn said but Kent cut her off.

"I don't want to room with Sain!" Kent said drunkenly, "he talks my ear off all night."

"Okay, we'll draw straws for Sain too." Mark said. They drew straws, and Florina got the short one this time.

"NO!" Lyn shouted. "She is not rooming with him!"

"It's alright Lyn, he won't try anything," Florina told her friend.

"Alright, but if you touch even a single strand of her hair," Lyn said in a voice dripping with malice, "I won't stop at castration." Sain gulped.

"Yes maim," Sain said sheepishly. They then went off to their room.

"Alright, I am not sleeping in the same room as that hammered bustard that caused Florina and Sain to be in the same room," Lyn said, still fuming about what had just happened.

"I don't want to either," Mark said.

"But I won't either," Wil said.

"I pull rank, you room with Kent," Lyn and Mark said at the same time. They then laughed all the way back to their room.

"Are you my mommy?" Kent asked Wil before collapsing on the floor.

"Next time, we draw straws for you," Wil said to himself before dragging his roommate back to their room. 'If he calls me mommy again, I will kill something,' he thought to himself.


Kilroy: (In a straight jacket) Let me out of this room.

Zero: Do you guys think he will be all right?

Lyn: No, I'm still tired from cleaning that third wave of cans.

Lute: You know, he's going to have to pee soon.

Hoobob: Well he did drink about fifty cases of orange soda.

Zero: I think he finally calmed down, all right, let him out.

Kilroy: Hello everybody.

Lute: You seem different.

Lyn: Do you think that that stay in the room drove him insane.

Zero: No, he was already insane, which only means…

Hoobob: We drove him to sanity!

Lute: Quick give him an orange soda now!

Zero: (Holds Kilroy down while Lyn makes him drink an orange soda) All right, that should do it.

Kilroy: I know there is more orange soda! Give it to me now! (Goes back to insanity)

Hoobob: Now that's the Kilroy we know.

Lute: R&R people, or else Kilroy will go completely sane and loose his sense of humor.