"Johanna."

The word cut through the mantle of her sleep, and her eyes opened before she realized she was awake. The room was dark for a moment, then shapes and shadows started to materialize in shades of dark grey and deeper black. Rowan was crouched beside her bunk, eyes glinting in the midnight gloom, her hand shaking Johanna's shoulder gently.

"Mm?" Johanna mumbled, her eyes sliding shut in a prolonged blink.

"Johanna, wake up. Come on."

"Uh-huh." She hadn't finished her blink yet, eyes still closed.

There were hands on her cheeks, turning her head, and then lips on hers. Johanna's eyebrows lifted, and she unconsciously leaned into the kiss, but before she had a chance to enjoy the sensation Rowan pulled away. Johanna opened her eyes, smiling slightly, but Rowan's expression was serious.

"O-kay," Johanna said, pushing herself upright. "I'm awake."

"Come on," Rowan said, standing up and tossing Johanna's coat onto her lap. She was already dressed for the weather outside, from the heavy boots laced up past her ankles to the knit cap covering her ears. Her face was inscrutable. "I want to show you something."

Johanna recognized the tone - it was the same one Rowan had used nearly a year ago when she told Johanna to cut down an entire tree on her own. She dressed quickly, throwing on a few extra long-sleeved shirts and a pair of thick wool socks.

Outside the cabin, their breath fogged in thick clouds in the biting cold. A fresh layer of snow lay on the ground, left there by the chill March night. Everything was still. As they entered the tree line, Rowan's pace sped up until she was walking so briskly there were a few times Johanna thought she was about to break into a run. Johanna asked once where they were going, but Rowan's only response was to tug her along a little faster.

They moved through the woods in silence for what felt like a long time. Despite the sound of their breathing, the chill of the air made the silence feel heavy, ethereal and strangely permanent. Rowan's path took them deeper into the forest than Johanna had ever been.

When Rowan stopped, it was so abruptly that Johanna nearly collided with her. The area was unfamiliar, but Rowan seemed perfectly sure that they had arrived in the right place. Directly ahead of them, across a moonlit clearing, was a massive redwood. Some ancient trees were cavernous, hollowed out by years of water rot and termites, but this one, though large enough to be several hundred years old, was perfectly sound. The bark, however, was deeply scarred with gashes - long ones, short ones, deep ones. Some of them looked years old, others fresh.

Johanna glanced at Rowan, seeking an explanation. Rowan was staring at the tree like she was seeing a vision. She stood stock still, eyes glittering in the light, for several long minutes. Finally, Johanna squeezed her hand softly.

"Rowan?"

She started, as though suddenly remembering she wasn't alone, but her eyes never left the tree.

"This is where my dad taught me to throw," she said.

Johanna looked back at the tree. Rowan had mentioned once in passing that her father was the one who taught her all of her considerable skill with the axe. Her statement had been brief, but Johanna had seen the pain flash across her features. The same pain saturated her voice now, though she was clearly making an effort to keep her words steady.

"I used to come here all the time after...after the fire, back before I knew Jessop very well. Sometimes I would practice throwing, sometimes I would try hacking the whole tree to splinters, sometimes I would scream or cry or talk to my parents."

There were tears in her eyes. Johanna kept quiet, but she held Rowan's hand just a little tighter.

"And sometimes I would lay down and just look." She gestured upward, and Johanna lifted her gaze. The clearing created a circular opening in the branches above. Through it, the night sky was perfectly clear, moonless. Johanna caught her breath.

Millions upon millions of stars sprayed across the black of midnight, and she felt sure she could see each and every one of them, extending into the deepest reaches of the sky. Their clear white light practically sang, cutting through the darkness and sharpening the lines of each tree branch overhead. Johanna hadn't seen a night this clear for months.

Rowan took a deep, shuddering breath, and Johanna glanced over. Her upturned face was illuminated, all the color washed away by the white light. The lines and shadows of her troubled expression were painstakingly defined. Her eyes were bright, burning in the cold nocturnal glow. For a moment she was a portrait of exquisite sorrow, purely defined in the light and shadows of the frozen forest and Johanna felt her heart ache.

"It's been two years," Rowan said quietly. She shut her eyes, a muscle spasming in her jaw as a tear slipped from each eyelid and streaked down her cheeks. "Two years, and coming here still hurts."
"We didn't have to -" Johanna began, but Rowan looked at her, stopping her words short.

"I wanted to show you," she said. "I've never brought anyone here before, but I wanted to bring you."

"But why?"

Rowan gave Johanna's hand a gentle tug and walked across the snowy clearing to stand before the tree. Her gloved hand traced across three sets of initials carved into the bark:

A.C. - T.C.

R.C.

"Abraham and Tally Carrigan and their daughter Rowan," Rowan said quietly. She flattened her palm against the bark, covering the initials. "This is my family's tree. Dad always said it represented our family bond, the one that no one could break." She looked up the massive trunk, smiling a little as her voice deepened to imitate her father: "'This beast will be here for damn near forever, Rower. And so will we.'" Her hand dropped to her side. "He told me to always protect it, to never show it to anyone unless I wanted them to be a part of it."

She was quiet for a moment before turning to Johanna. "I want you to be part of it."

Johanna wasn't sure how to react, trying to understand what exactly that meant. Rowan continued, speaking quickly and with determination, as though trying to force the words out before her nerve could fail her.

"It's been almost a year since I met you, and it's been six months since I knew I was in love with you. I am, I'm in love with you, Johanna Mason, and I want you to be my family. I want you to stay with me. Tomorrow I'll be seventeen and I want you to come with me when I move into my own house. It'll be small and maybe not everything you've ever wanted but I'm in love with you so I have to ask, just to know that at least I tried. And if you don't want to I would understand -"

Johanna silenced her words by grabbing Rowan's face and pulling her into a kiss. Rowan hardly hesitated before wrapping herself around Johanna, kissing her back so fiercely they nearly tumbled off balance. They locked themselves together for several long moments in the light of the stars, pressed so tightly against each other that Johanna was sure she could feel Rowan's heartbeat in her own chest.

The intensity of the kiss stirred something in Johanna's abdomen, a heat that coiled and gave a certain sense of urgency to the way Rowan's body pressed against hers. She had experienced this sensation before while kissing Rowan, but with the sharpness of the stars overhead and the acute sadness that lingered in the towering redwood, it had never been more powerful than it was now.

She finally pulled away, breathless and a little lightheaded. "Of course I'll be your family, brainless. I thought I already was."

Rowan smiled a little, opening her mouth to speak, but her eyes had filled with tears again and it seemed the words wouldn't come out. Johanna hugged her tightly, knowing there probably weren't sufficient words for Rowan to express how she felt.

"I'll always stay with you. I promise."

They used Rowan's knife to carve a rough "J.M." into the tree, directly beside Rowan's initials. The cold air was heavy and silent around them as they headed back to the cabin. As they walked closely, holding hands, sides occasionally touching, Johanna felt intensely aware of the girl beside her with the shadows sliding across her freckled face. It was all there - the blonde hair falling across one shoulder from beneath her stocking cap, the steady gait as she stepped deliberately through the snow, the short breaths that fogged like smoke around her mouth and nose, interrupted by the occasional sniff against the coldness of the air, the eyebrows that were almost always serious but hardly ever angry. Everything was there, all familiar and beautiful, but something had changed, too.

Johanna felt it like a tightness in her chest, more heady than suffocating. She kept replaying the scene from moments before - Rowan standing raw and tear-stained beside the towering redwood, illuminated by the white light of the stars; her words, bold and anxious, spilling out unfiltered before she could carefully analyze them the way she usually did; how her voice had had just the barest hint of a tremor when she spoke; the brave, uncertain look in her eyes as she searched Johanna's face for a reaction. Johanna tried to imagine what kind of courage it must have taken for Rowan to bring her to that redwood, to openly confess her love in the place where all her pain and fear and sadness was closest to the surface. The sheer emotional volume of the gesture made Johanna dizzy.

The warmth from before, from when Johanna had thrown herself into Rowan's kiss, rolled in her belly. Whatever gap had existed between them – emotional or otherwise – was completely gone, and suddenly Johanna wanted nothing more than to show Rowan just how fully she intended to honor the promise she had engraved into the redwood with her initials.

Rowan looked over and met her eyes, and she realized with a start that she had been staring at Rowan for the last few minutes. The was an intensity in her gaze that told her whatever lingering sadness had followed them from the redwood tree had clearly been dispelled. Rowan's blue eyes were fierce with singularity of purpose, and the heat in Johanna's belly was suddenly a wildfire.

Then Rowan was pulling her into the cabin, closing the door behind them with careless force, and she was kissing Johanna and pushing her coat from her shoulders. Johanna found herself tossing Rowan's stocking cap and scarf to the floor as she kicked off her boots. The fingers of one hand twined roughly through Rowan's hair, her other arm looping around the small of her back to pull their bodies closer together. Rowan's breaths washed over Johanna's face, hot and intoxicating, as they stumbled back towards the bed. Her kisses were fierce, her lips moving against Johanna's hungrily.

The bed frame hit the backs of Johanna's thighs, and she fell backward onto the mattress, pulling Rowan with her. Rowan's hands fumbled with the clasp of Johanna's pants, trying to undo it. After a few unsuccessful attempts, she sat up abruptly with a frustrated sound, straddling Johanna as she wrestled with the offending button. Johanna let out an involuntary chuckle and reached down to help, but Rowan suddenly caught her wrists. She pinned them at shoulder level, hovering over Johanna.

"Do you even want this?" she asked.

Johanna felt her brow furrow. "Of course I do."

Rowan huffed through her nostrils, dropping her head. Johanna freed her hands and reached up, gently lifting Rowan's face. She studied the troubled blue eyes carefully.

"Do you want me?" she asked.

Rowan blinked, looking a little hurt. "Johanna, yes. Of course."

"Then what's wrong?"

"I just..." Rowan looked at the ceiling, sitting back on her heels. Johanna propped herself up on her elbows.

"I've never done this before, okay?" Rowan finally blurted. She gestured furiously at the fastening button on Johanna's pants. "I mean, clearly."

Johanna shifted up onto her knees so they were eye level.

"Well that's a shame," she said, a smile pulling at the corner of her mouth as she draped her arms around Rowan's shoulders, "I've done this a million times before. Because, you know, everyone just can't get enough of me."

Rowan sighed frustratedly. "I'm serious, Johanna. I don't want to mess this up. Not with you."

Johanna kissed her cheek softly. "It would actually be impossible for you to do that, brainless." She trailed her lips down Rowan's neck. "Because all...I want...is you," she murmured, punctuating her words with kisses. She heard Rowan's breath catch as fingers twined through her hair and then Rowan's mouth was on hers again.

She smiled into the kiss, pulling Rowan's shirt over her head. Johanna slid her hands across her bare skin, but Rowan gasped, reaching around to grab Johanna's wrists.

"You are freezing."

"Well," Johanna murmured, catching Rowan's earlobe between her teeth. "Warm me up."

Rowan made an unintelligible sound as she practically tackled Johanna into the pillow. Her hands were determined, ridding Johanna of her clothes in a fury. Johanna matched her intensity, and soon they were twined breathlessly together, naked beneath the blankets.

Johanna's hands, now adequately warmed by her pounding heart and Rowan's heat, slid across ribs and breasts, shoulder blades and collar bones. For a moment she pulled away from Rowan just to look, her gaze sliding across toned muscles and scarred skin. She drank it all in, her stomach twisting into pleasant knots at the sight before her. Fingers lifted her chin; Rowan's cheeks were flushed, her eyes glittering in a way Johanna had never seen before. She leaned in again and pulled herself close, pressing her mouth to Rowan's lips, trying to memorize the feeling of their bodies tangled together.

They explored each other in the warm safety of the blankets. Hands and fingers and lips traced skin and muscle. Breathless whimpers alternated with excited, nervous laughter. Johanna forgot how to breathe when Rowan's lips made their way between her legs, and the acute combination of nerves and pleasure made her tremble and beg and whisper Rowan's name until a rushing wave sent itself from groin to fingertips and sounds of wildness erupted from her throat and she left bite marks in her own arm trying to muffle the sound.

Rowan's lips found their way back up Johanna's body, earnest and warm against her mouth. Her blue eyes were deep with concern and love as she searched Johanna's face. "Are you okay? Was that okay?"

Johanna nodded but found words inadequate, so she captured Rowan's lips in a searing kiss. Her hands trailed down, the pad of her thumbs sweeping across Rowan's nipples, her palms cupping and kneading her breasts. Rowan caught her breath, a moan slipping into Johanna's mouth. One of Johanna's hands slid lower, fingertips tracing the patterns of hipbones before they found the heat between Rowan's legs. Rowan arched her back, lips and teeth parted in a silent gasp, hips grinding down on Johanna's hand. Her nails dug into Johanna's back, just enough to sting.

"Please, Johanna." Her breath was hot on Johanna's neck; her voice sounded like she was about to shatter.

Johanna kissed her throat, her collarbones, the peak of each breast, the line of her abdomen that formed a trail to her destination, then locked her arms around Rowan's thighs and buried herself between her legs. Rowan's whole body spasmed with Johanna's every movement, and it wasn't long until Johanna watched her come undone.

Rowan's spine arched, head thrown back until Johanna could only see the defined underside of her chin and the raised veins in her neck. She was silent, a statue locked in ecstasy, and Johanna had never seen anything so beautiful.

She rode out the wave and collapsed in on herself, her eyes clenched tightly shut, blonde hair disheveled, mouth open as she panted for air. She looked at Johanna after a moment, her eyes opening like she was being woken from a dream.

They folded themselves into each other, breathless and exhausted, wrapped in each other's arms. Johanna kissed her forehead, eyebrows, cheeks and nose. Rowan smiled, eyes closed.

"I love you, Rowan Carrigan," Johanna murmured into her hair. "You are mine."