Author's Note: I apologize in advance for this chapter. I wouldn't exactly call it writers block but... I don't know. The story was not forthcoming this chapter. It's not as long as I'd like but it'll do! I don't know. On a side note, all my stuff is un-beta'ed so if you've got a lead on a beta/proofreader for me, lemme know. This chapter is choppier than previous ones. Nothing was flowing quite right so I just didn't press it. However, I needed this one to segue into the next "movement" if you will. Anyway. I'll quit criticizing myself and move on to reviews! :) XO ***EDITED. I changed the ending. If you've read this, re-read it.***
lilredditpup:ooh, I'm intrigued to read this story you speak of! I do wish to have this story (or at least one of mine) fall into that category of "mind-blowing". I'm interested in what you have found!
Yshan: Here's an update, enjoy! :)
CHAPTER 7
That night, for the first time since before she was taken, Anna had asked Elsa to sleep in bed with her. They had slipped under the covers, side by side, hands clasped, and stared up into the dark. Neither had spoken for many minutes. Finally, Anna had squeezed her sister's hand and whispered a "good night, Elsa." Elsa had returned the sentiment and both were asleep within minutes, drained not only from the day's activities but also from the sheer amount of stress that had plagued their relationship for the past several days.
The following day had been a good one. Not as spectacular as the previous day, but good nonetheless. Elsa had found Anna zoning out on a few occasions and she did have one run-in with a torrent of flashbacks, but it was nowhere near as frequent as it had been before the day they spent together roaming the castle grounds.
The next day was Anna's birthday. Elsa, who had again slept in her sister's bed, gently woke the redhead by singing Hurra for Deg, the newest birthday song out of this part of the world. Anna's eyes fluttered open and at first she seemed confused.
"Elsa…?" Her teal eyes struggled to focus. "Wh-what're you…"
Lying on her pillow, face to face with her sister, Elsa was overcome with the urge to lean forward and kiss her. It was such a small space that separated them, but she knew Anna couldn't handle that yet. Still, it had been so long since she'd done it that she found herself almost aching for it.
I'm just so glad you're here, she wanted to say. Instead, what she said was, "happy birthday, Anna."
"You're not going to pull the covers off me again, are you?" Anna asked sleepily, stretching her arms overhead.
Elsa laughed out loud, the memory of Anna's excitement from the previous year darting across her mind. "No," she said. "If I pulled the covers off you, I'd be pulling them off me, too!"
"Good point." Rolling onto her back, Anna folded her hands behind her head and lazily closed her eyes. "What's the plan for today?" She asked without looking at Elsa.
"No plans, really," Elsa answered. She wished desperately that the circumstances were different and that Anna felt up to having a real party. Elsa's birthday was in December and the cold, harsh winter weather had always prevented her from having real parties. Anna, having a summer birthday, had always been able to have parties outside in the gardens or even swimming in the fjord. Not that Elsa had been invited to those parties a majority of the years, but she'd been able to see from the window and hear about it from staff, her parents and even Anna herself (through her closed bedroom door, that is.) "I figured we'd have Gerda make a cake and then, like you asked, have just a few people in to celebrate." Before Anna could say a word, Elsa added, "and yes, Sven can come inside the castle!"
A grin split Anna's face and Elsa wished she could burn the sight into her memory forever. "Can we help Gerda with the cake?"
"You can," Elsa said, laughing. "I always get in the way. Besides, I have a few things I have to do this morning."
Panic flitted across Anna's features as she rolled quickly to her side to face Elsa again. "Y-you're not coming with me?" Her voice had gone from fairly solid to almost meek in a matter of seconds. She's scared, Elsa realized. Despite Anna's seemingly tough bravado of the last few days, the idea of being without Elsa, even for a short time, was apparently frightening right now.
Elsa brushed some of Anna's unruly red hair out of her eyes. "I just have to take care of a few things. There're two decrees that I need to proofread and…" She saw Anna's eyes starting to gloss. "…And none of that really has to be done today," she finished. "Come on. Let's get up. You and I are going to help Gerda bake a cake."
Anna surged forward and threw her arms around her sister. Elsa was stunned momentarily. This was the first real contact Anna had initiated since her return.
"I love you, Elsa," Anna whispered against her sister's neck.
Swallowing hard against the lump lodged in her throat, Elsa managed to return, "I love you more."
It was strange, she thought, how really nothing else mattered. She was still reeling from Anna's attempted suicide just days before. She was still wracked with guilt over the whole situation. But when Anna had her arms around her and told her she loved her, none of that made a difference at all. In the end, Elsa knew, nothing mattered but the love they had for one another.
The thudding sound that Sven made when his hooves slid out from under him on the hard, marble floor of the castle reverberated throughout the room. The reindeer bawled quietly in embarrassment, trying without much success to gain purchase on the slippery floor. Kristoff attempted to bolster Sven from one side but they both ended up in a heap on the floor.
Anna hadn't laughed this hard in a very long time. Her sides ached and tears ran down her cheeks. Finally, Elsa made a small patch of snow on the floor which Sven was able to stand on. The only problem was that he couldn't move from that spot! So whenever he wanted to go somewhere, Elsa had to create a snow path for him. This just made Anna laugh even harder.
It wasn't a big party — just a few people, as Anna had requested. Kristoff, Sven and Olaf were there, along with Kai, Gerda, Lara, Ingrid and Astrid, the closest people Anna and Elsa had to family. The event was held in the smallest of the castle's ballrooms, although in hindsight Elsa realized she should have had it in a carpeted room for the sake of Sven. Marble floors were not conducive to hooves. However, the amusement that his slipping had brought Anna made it worth it. Sven endured it like a trooper. For a reindeer, he really was remarkably aware.
"How's she doing?" Kristoff asked, coming up beside Elsa as Anna and Gerda disappeared to retrieve the cake.
"Um," Elsa stalled. She new nobody had told Kristoff about Anna's fall from the balcony of her room some nights before. He had been off harvesting ice at the time of the incident and by the time he had come around again (which was tonight, actually) it would have been awkward to bring it up, especially with Anna feeling so well. "She's doing better, I-I think." Elsa tried to keep the quiver out of her voice but didn't quite succeed.
If Kristoff noticed her voice wavering, he didn't say anything about it. "How have her flashbacks been? Any panic attacks?"
Elsa gnawed on her lip. "No," she finally said. "Well, not many. Nowhere near as many as she was having." It wouldn't do to worry Kristoff about anything now. Besides, he was Anna's friend really, not Elsa's. It should be Anna's decision when, if ever, to tell him. "She really seems to be doing better."
Kristoff's shoulders relaxed a tiny bit. "Good. I've been really worried about her."
"We all have," Elsa answered truthfully. "Sometimes I want to just shake her and snap her out of it but I know that won't help."
"No, it won't," Kristoff agreed. "But I know what you mean. She was always so…happy, you know? So joyful. Nothing ever kept her down. Until now." His face darkened at the thought of what 'now' meant. "If I ever see that bastard again…" Kristoff's voice trailed off in warning.
"You'll kill him?" Elsa supplied.
"In short," Kristoff responded.
"You'll have to get in line." Elsa scowled. "I think there are several people in this kingdom who would love to get their hands on him. Not the least of which, me!"
Anna and Gerda entered the room again, carrying between them a gigantic chocolate cake. It reminded Elsa of the chocolate cake she had made little snow figures for on Anna's fifth birthday, except it had one extra tier.
"Whoa!" Kristoff exclaimed. "There's going to be a ton of that cake left over! That's a huge cake for only ten people!"
Elsa chuckled. "I know. But you know how Anna is. She likes to go grandiose whenever possible."
"She deserves it," Kristoff said fondly, a touch of sadness lacing his words. "She deserves the best."
"That she does," Elsa agreed, feeling her own eyes mist over. "That she does."
Whenever he approached Princess Anna these days, Kristoff always felt as though he were approaching a wild animal. It reminded him a little bit of finding Sven all those years ago. Kristoff had been out walking in the forest, not far from the city, looking for anything edible. He had been only seven years old and hadn't eaten in nearly a day, his last food being something he'd found in a scrap pile behind someone's home. He had been approaching a grove of trees when he'd heard a sound. At first he thought it was a baby crying but when he stopped to listen, he'd realized it sounded more like an animal. After following the sound, he'd discovered a filthy, shivering, grayish lump beside the base of a tree.
At first, Kristoff had thought it was a bear cub and was about to run for his life. He knew that where there was a bear cub there was usually a mama bear, and that was not something he wanted to deal with. Ever. However, when the lump had unfolded itself just a little, Kristoff had seen the small beginnings of antlers and the biggest, saddest pair of brown eyes he'd ever seen.
"You're a reindeer," Kristoff whispered. "Why are you all alone, little guy?"
The reindeer bawled pitifully. He shrank back against the tree trunk, scared of Kristoff but too weak to move any further or get up and walk.
"You must be starving," Kristoff said, staying where he was so as not to frighten the creature any more than he already had. "I'll go find something for you to eat. Or, wait, you probably only drink milk, don't you?" Kristoff sat on a rock a few feet from the reindeer calf. How was he going to get milk all the way back here? He stood up, determined. "You stay here. I have no idea how in the world I'm going to do this, but I'm going to save you."
It had taken that reindeer calf, whom Kristoff immediately started calling Sven, several days to get fully comfortable with Kristoff, and every time that Kristoff approached Sven he had gotten this cornered look in his eyes. It was the same look that Anna would get from time to time when someone approached her. It was enough to break Kristoff's heart whenever he saw it. He would never, ever in a million years do anything to harm Anna. He knew that she knew that, but it was the knee-jerk reaction of fear and panic that always made itself known first. Even though her eyes would always clear within seconds, it still made his fists clench with the desire to beat the life out of Hans.
"Anna," Kristoff said softly while he was still at least ten feet away from the princess, who was facing away from him. He saw her shoulders tense for a short moment before her brain recognized his voice. When she turned around, her face was relaxed and her posture neutral. She was not fearful in that moment, a fact which greatly relieved Kristoff. "How are you liking your little party?"
"It's great," she said quietly. A small smile lit her features and Kristoff desperately wanted to hug her. He knew better, though. "It's exactly what I wanted. You were right, all I needed to do was tell Elsa what I wanted. Or, actually, what I didn't want."
"I knew she would understand," Kristoff said, smiling gently. "She loves you."
"I know," came the instant response.
Gerda bustled by and handed each of them a plate of the cake that she had just cut. They thanked her and each took a bite. Anna's eyes fell closed and she sighed deeply.
Kristoff laughed. "Chocolate was always your weak spot."
"Still is," Anna mumbled around a mouthful of cake. "Always."
There was something nagging at Anna. Something tugging at a corner of her brain like a tiny fishhook. As the panic and terror receded bit by bit, each day an improvement over the last, she became more and more aware of the fact that she was forgetting something. Something important. Something very important.
For days, Anna tried to recall what it was. Was it something she'd meant to tell someone? Something she needed to do?
She tried everything she could to jog her memory. This was a dangerous task, though, because jogging her memory sometimes brought up things she didn't want to remember. This, in turn, actually brought back the panic attacks that she had been working so hard to eradicate. After suffering from three in one day, Elsa finally asked her what was going on.
"There's something I'm supposed to remember," Anna had said, her voice hoarse from exertion. She was sprawled out on the sofa in Elsa's study, too afraid to be by herself lest the demons barge into her mind again. "But I just can't remember it."
"So you're trying to remember it and it's bringing back these panic attacks?" Elsa asked. She was perched on the edge of her desk, one foot swinging in the air.
Anna nodded and pulled a throw pillow over her face. "It's important, Elsa. And I have to remember it."
Ironically, it wasn't until she stopped trying to remember it that it came to her. A week after her birthday party, Anna was again sitting in Elsa's study, watching her sister work. It was mid-afternoon and Anna hadn't slept particularly well the previous night. It had been a night full of vivid and awful dreams. Thankfully, nights like that were becoming less frequent. When they did happen, however, they were brutal.
Anna's eyelids drooped. She was so tired and it was just so warm in here and she just felt so safe with Elsa nearby. She tried to sit up straighter in her chair to keep sleep at bay, but it was a losing battle and she knew it. Propping her elbow on the arm of the chair, Anna rested her cheek in her hand and within seconds was asleep and dreaming.
It's dark… so dark… why is it so dark? Is that fog? I must be outside. But where am I? It's so cold out here. This is weird, it's July now, it shouldn't be this cold. I'm just going to walk this way… maybe I'll find something familiar and be able to figure out where I am.
Oh, that's a tree, okay, let's go this way… oops, another tree! God, I can't see a thing. Even with my arms out like this I can't find my way anywhere… wait, what's that sound?
It sounds like…
Like…. voices! They're coming from that way. Okay, I'm going to follow them.
What's that weird light? I can see…. the castle?! I see that castle! Oh good, I'm almost there! But why is it glowing blue? That's what happens when Elsa's magic is— oh my God! Elsa!
"I hear you, I hear you!"
Was that me screaming that? Didn't sound like my voice but it must be. Ugh, who put a rock there? Now I'm going to have a hole in my dress and Elsa will yell… Elsa! I've got to keep going!
Wow, this wall is really high. I can't climb it because I can't get a foothold or handhold.. wait, here's a crack. I'll peek through.
Oh God. Elsa… no…
Who is that? Who tied her up like that?
No. No. I would know that red hair anywhere.
I can't yell because he'd hear me.. I've got to get in there somehow.
What does he mean she'd be a valuable commodity? She's a queen! Not an object. He just wants her…. of course, he just wants her for her ice powers. The Southern Isles is a warmer climate than Arendelle and of course they'd need ice.
He trapped her. The son-of-a-bitch trapped Elsa, using me to lure her out.
I've got to warn her. I have to tell her to agree to him because if she doesn't, he'll—
Anna's eyes snapped open. For several seconds, she lay perfectly still, not even breathing. All at once, everything from the dream fell into place. Anna remembered. She leaped out of her chair, turning toward her sister.
"Elsa, I remembered what I—" She stopped abruptly. Somehow Anna, who had been waking up at every single minute sound in the castle for the past several weeks since returning from captivity, had managed to sleep through something major.
The desk was as it had been. The quill still had ink on the tip, but the chair was now empty. Elsa was gone.
