"Evil is committed without effort, naturally, fatally; goodness is always the product of some art."- Charles Baudelaire

The two of us sat silently inside her little automobile. Why in the name of Odin was I doing this? I knew next to nothing about this mortal. Maybe I am growing desperate. She has been the only one to offer me anything over this long month and a half. Well, someone that has offered me something that I want. We shall leave it at that.

I was actually clueless on where we were going. I do not know what this Wallmart is that she speaks of. But she intrigues me. Never before have I seen a mortal with red hair before. They come in all sorts of colors, do they not? Odd, I would say. I turned my face back to the windshield and watched as the other automobiles flew by ours.

"So how did you get in this position?" Christian asked me. To tell the truth, I was exiled from home for trying to take over your planet. But I am not the god of truth here. "I do not know." I sighed, sounding relatively distressed. "It happened so quickly." My head turned to look out the other window. "What? What happened?" She asked again, sounding more concerned than before. "Something dark." I whispered. I mustered up a small amount of magic that I had and penetrated her mind. Yes, perfect. She was buying this. "Are you okay? Do we need to go to the hospital?" Christina almost stopped the car. "No, no. I can go on." I replied, finally looking her in the face. "The criminals did not beat me hard."

Her eyes widened and her jaw fell out of place. "I am so sorry." She said, making the connection to my loss of items. What a fool. I sniffed in before looking forward again. Christina drove on with a disturbed look upon her pale little face. The god of lies prevails again. I could not help my small smirk.

"Do you have these in England?" She spoke, pulling into a large lot in front of a giant blue store. "No, we do not." I replied, still sounding a little shaken up. She gave a silent nod as she drove around. Small yellow boxes enclosed cars in the large lot. Mortals wandered in and out of the doors of this store. Maybe the doors were magical, because every time a mortal neared them, they opened. Odd. That would come in use at the palace. I made note as we entered one of the yellow parking boxes. The automobile shut off with a turn of its key.

"Now, let me warn you, there are some strange people here." Christian informed, grabbing the bag she carried with her. "The women's clothes are to the right of the store. You take your time. I'll meet you by the entrance, okay?" I nodded and she opened her door. Looking to it, I saw a small gray handle. I had to physically pull the door open? They have to make everything complicated here, don't they? Sighing, I touched the thing and pulled it open quickly. There was a bang as the door flew open. An automobile was next to us, which I hit with the door. For a moment I panicked. Did I break it? Shrugging, I decided it was not my problem here. I closed it behind me and stepped back into the row. "What was that?" She asked, peering around the side of her car. "What was what?" I replied. Christina raised her eyebrows and shrugged.

I let a small breath escape my lungs as we walked towards the entrance of this…this place. Christina suddenly put out her arm in front of me. I ran straight into it and stepped back, puzzled at why she would do such a thing. I was about to speak up before another automobile came whizzing by. "People don't like to stop." She told me.

"They do not know who they deal with." I growled. Chrissy turned to look at me. "What did you say?" I had not meant to say that out loud, it was one of those slips of the tongue. "I said, people should be more careful." We both knew that was not exactly what I had said, but we were inside before she could make another comment. "So here we shall meet?" I asked, wanting to make sure. As much as I abhor this whole situation, I was getting tired of living on the streets. You could say I was yearning for a nice bed. Or even a warm room. A blanket. That would be wonderful. Look at me, I am becoming overjoyed by being able to use a blanket. I am a prince, I deserve better than this! I felt disgusted with myself as I walked though the second set of parting doors.

"I'll grab us some pizza." Pizza. I had heard of this from my other travels on Midguard. Was it any good? I could not recall, for I do not remember what I ate here. "Sounds great!" I replied with overzealous enthusiasm. Chrissy smiled, and then she was off into the unknown store section filled with food foreign. And I was all alone again. Not that I minded or anything.

Spying the shirts and other clothing items, I headed that way. I noticed people looked at me as I walked on by. Was it the way I was dressed? I am sorry if I do not know your silly customs. I especially detested it when men would look at me. They should be kneeling. Or at least bow or something.

I finally made it into the department of clothing. Men's clothing. Sighing, I made my way over to the women's department. Oh how I loathed this form. Things of pink and bright colors stuck out the most. I was trying to not be noticed here. Lively, joyous colors were just not going to work. What did she say I needed again? Pajamas? So something to sleep in. Where in Valhalla was I supposed to find those!? Did they expect me to touch these filthy racks and look though things? I felt my stomach lurch at the thought of dirty mortal fingers contaminating each item of clothing. Sighing, I knew I needed to look though.

Hesitantly I placed my hands on the odd plastic pieces holding the clothing up on a metal bar. I pushed the items I did not need to look at out of the way and searched for the pajamas that this store was to have. My eyes scanned over the department again. There were about a million of these racks! How was I suppose to go though each one and find what I wanted? A person dressed in a sort of official blue vest with a small tag baring their name was near.

"You, servant of Wallmart." I called out to them. The lady looked back and forth before realizing I was talking to her. Who else is wearing an official name plate and blue? I swear, these mortals are ignorant. "Where are the pajamas located?" I asked. The lady stated at me for a minute or two before she pointed to some very tall racks of clothing. "Ah. Thank you." Thank you was doing something good, okay. It strained me to do so, but only a bit. Hey, I am not totally heartless.

I approached the large towers with clothes on them. They were like a tall fence, with clothing hung on both sides of them. Interesting. I perused one side of the fence like racks before turning the corner and looking on the other side. No, I decided. I cannot do bows. Pink? Ha. Not even on my deathbed. Green. Green I could do. I pulled the set from the rack and examined it. A shirt without long sleeves, and a pair of pants with a tie. These will have to do.

With the clothing in my hand, I continued down the aisle, trying to find a way out of these things. I turned the corner, thinking this was the way from which I had come, but it was not. I was not in an aisle of pajamas, but in one of woman's…undergarments. Then I remembered, I am a woman. Would I need…Oh no. This was…embarrassing. How was I suppose to know what to get? I do not know Midguardian woman sizing! The infinitesimal numbers and letters meant nothing to me! Maybe transformation was not the best of my ideas. I was regretting the idea now. Surely I could use a little magic to fix some things if they do not fit. But what to grab? My face felt hot with internal embarrassment. Making a quick decision, I snatched a plain looking garment off of the rack and got out of there as quickly as I could.

Weaving amongst the others, I found my way to the other item Christina had mentioned; the toothbrushes. Humans clean their teeth with the small bristled sticks. I did not see a difference between any of them. What a funny little invention. Grabbing the first one insight, I then wandered out of the aisle. Was there anything else that I would need? This store was so large and so full of substances, that I did not know where to go next. The front of this place is where I was to meet Christina. For some reason though, I was not quite ready to leave yet. In all of my trips to Midguard, I have never been in a place like this. Though I am unsure if I would ever want to return here, I was going to take it in whilst I visited.

The first thing to be noted was the dress. Some people dressed like the normal Midguardian mortal, while others were outlandishly adorned with…interesting clothing. For example, a woman in a skin tight leopard pants. How she skinned a leopard and turned it into pants, I do not know. Let us say they were not flattering. One man had some markings on his arm that I assumed to be magical. How else would they have gotten there? The spell ran up his entire arm. I could not even see the original color beneath it. I did not know magic was used here that often. While others were covered up, some were definitely not. I have seen parts of mortals that I wish I could remove from my mind. A mind removal spell would take too much energy right now. Then there was the size of the people here. Some were so tiny, I was pretty certain that I could wrap my hand around their waist. Then there were men and woman here that could give even Thor a run for his money. I obviously was not the only one who was a giant here.

Chrissy waved at me as I neared the exit of this place. "I've got the pizza. Did you get everything you need?" She asked. I gave a nod and lifted up my bag. "Good!" Christina smiled at me and I weakly smiled back. I hoped my face had lost all traces of pink from my slightly embarrassing moment in here. The two of us walked across the lot and got inside of her car once again. "I'll start dinner up when we get to my apartment. You just make yourself at home." Make yourself at home. What a particularly odd saying, especially considering my circumstances. How does one make somewhere foreign their home? This could never be my home. I had no home. I belong nowhere, never attached to a certain area anymore. The pain of being alone was bearable, but the realization of never belonging was something hard to digest. My mothe-I mean Frigga's words filled my mind from before I left. And maybe, just maybe, when you get back, this place will be somewhere where you belong.

I was beginning to doubt my Asguard entirely. Sure, I was following orders and my good deeds were completely every day, but I had no reason to want to stay here. I was to stay as long as I did not want to. Once I wanted to stay here, then I must go. Sighing, I continued to look out the window for the rest of the car ride.

"Well, here we are." Christina said cheerily. I was not in the mood for her happiness though. Still, I smiled. I should at least be grateful to the mortal for letting me stay the night. Wait, what am I saying? Me, grateful? Ha. I pulled the handle of the automobile more gently this time, and eased my way out of it. "Right up this staircase and to the left!" She informed me. With that happy little tone of hers. Her cheeriness was impending on the edge of my narrow nerves. I needed to keep cool only a while longer. Or at least I tried to tell myself that.

Chrissy placed the key inside of the lock on her door. With a gentle click, the door was free and she entered on inside. I guess I was supposed to follow suit and do the same. Her apartment was not huge, but it was much larger than my prison cell. I suppose that is an advantage. "Here is the living room!" She gestured to the large space before us with a couch and two chairs. "The kitchen is to the left." Her hand pointed down a small hallway that must lead there. "The bedroom is to the right." Another tiny hallway led to the room. "The pizza will take a while too. You can go ahead and get your pj's on, or whatever. The TV is out here." Ah, the color box with flashing pictures. I do enjoy this TV, especially the mortal news program. The concept was fascinating to me. "Thank you." I forced out. I mean, that was the social normal here, was it not? I was not actually that thankful.

I found the bathroom on the way to the bedroom. Slipping inside, I locked the door behind me. Placing the bag on the countertop, I tore away the cardboard packaging that held the clothing items together. I slipped out of my pants and donned the pajama ones. They were not as comfortable as the ones I have worn before, but they shall do. I pulled my shirt up over my head, but I could not bring myself to look at my reflection in the mirror.

Quickly I slipped on the pajama shirt and with a snap, my other clothes disappeared. My wrist tingled as I used the small amount of magic that was running though my body. I scowled and glared at my wrist. A single cuff remained around my wrist. The rest had been broken as I traveled the Bifrost to Earth. Only one remained by mistake. Or at least I believe it was a mistake. It of course was one of the magic binding cuffs. For the first few weeks here, I tried everything to get it off. No avail. This single cuff is what is making my magic go awry, and causing me to drain of energy every time I used magic. I hated it very much.

"Lynda, pizza is ready!" Chrissy called out from the kitchen. "Coming!" I replied. I succumbed to my weakness and looked into the mirror. The womanly face still resembled mine, but she looked different. She looked tired. She looked scared. I was not afraid. Turning my face away from the dreadful image, I walked into the kitchen.

The bread drenched in red sauce and covered with a deep layer of cheese was absolutely delightful. If I had consumed this on Midguard before, I had not remembered it quite like this. "You must really be hungry!" Chrissy said as I took my fourth piece. You think this is hungry? If Thor was here, we would have to buy him his own! But he is not…It is not like I want him here either. But Thor did have a way of making me feel like I… "Well, eat up!" Chrissy sat cross legged as I walked back into the living room. "There is plenty." I nodded and took a seat. "What do you like to watch? Or are all the shows different over there?" She asked, grabbing the remote control to the color box. "Oh, they are all different. Just watch what you normally would." I told her. She smiled and flipped though the channels. "Is Yes to the dress okay?" I obviously had no clue what it was, but that would make me seem rather odd, I suppose. "Sure." I agreed.

Turns out it was a show about women buying huge outlandish dresses, all in the color white. Do they not have other color dresses here? I could have sworn I have seen them before. These ones were rather fancy, with lace and lots of extra material. That sure was a sign of wealth back in Asguard. I wondered if it worked the same way here. "Oh come on!" I shouted. "Who cares if your mother does not like the dress! That is the one!" Chrissy let out a laugh and my hand clapped my mouth. Did I just say that? I always disdained staying in a form for too long. I kept my personality, but part of me adapted the characteristics of my shape shifted form. In this instance, a woman's love of fashion.

"I totally agree!" She said. "I hope she will." I was still in shock of my outburst, but the heat of embarrassment was fading away. "Oh my, that's such a lovely bracelet." Chrissy said. Looking back down at my hands, I realized she was addressing the magic baring cuff that had somehow stayed on. Oh yes, lovely indeed. "Thank you." I replied shortly.

I consumed another piece of the glorious pizza before feeling full enough. The two of us continued to watch the marathon (as she called it) of this dress show. I found myself rather entertained, which was odd. I did have to admit though, that she was excellent company. Well, mediocre at best. But at least I was no longer alone to suffer from my thoughts and short comings. Then again, my thoughts never left me alone. "It's been a long night! Why don't we hit the hay?" Hit the hay? Why would we abuse dead grass? What an odd Midguardian saying. "Yes. That sounds good."

The remote near her turned off the magic box and she stood up from the couch. "Did you get enough to eat? To drink?" She asked. Why would she care so much? This was an odd predicament I was in already. I should reserve my questions for a better time. If there ever is one. "I am fine, thank you." I replied, standing up as well. Where were we going? She left the room and I followed. "I have a queen sized bed. I would really hate for you to sleep on the couch." Christina told me as she entered her sleeping chambers. It was all done in a turquoise and silver color. The walls seemed to have a little shimmer to them, the blue green color adding vibrancy to the room entirely.

"You do have a lovely bedroom," I said. They called them bedrooms, right? "But I insist that I sleep elsewhere." I know I am evil, but I could not bring myself to sleep in the same bed as a woman. Little did she know of my true identity, and I intended to keep it that way. But still, I could not. It would be, how do you say it? Awkward? Yes, it would be awkward. "Elsewhere? Why? I don't bite!" Christina had disappeared into the bathroom. "It's a large bed, you wouldn't even notice that I was there!" Oh, woman, trust me. I would. I shifted uncomfortable in my spot. "Really, I insi-" But the redhead cut me off. "No, I insist!" She reappeared from the bathroom. "Come on, it will be so much better than that lousy couch."

My hands at my sides were now clenched into little fist. I bore down upon my teeth and forced a smile. "No, you do not understand." I stressed. "I shall take the couch." I strutted towards the door was just about out of the doorway too. "No, no. I'll take the couch. You can have the bed!" My feet stopped and I whipped back around to face Christina. "Why must you be difficult?" I asked. "Just let me take the couch." My patients were wearing thin, and my blood was almost boiling with frustration. Why must she be difficult?! "No, I can't. That wouldn't be very nice of me."

Very nice of me? Very nice?! Who does she think she is, Mother Teresa?! "Now listen to me, and listen well. I shall have the couch. I do what I want, mortal." I hissed though gritted teeth. Christina's emerald eyes widened and she took a step back from me. It was then that I realized my outburst scared her. "M-mortal?" Her face displayed confusion, but also a tinge of curiosity.

My anger was beyond my control at this point. From deep inside my core, my magic was awakened. Rapidly it spread though the channels I carved for it though years and years of study and practice. All of those rainy days inside, every evening after dinner, playing tricks on servants in the hallway, all of it has made me the magician I am today. My eyes closed in pleasure as it flowed though my body, out from the center and penetrating every inch of me. All but one section. My arm was still cuffed. I knew it would interfere with my magic somehow, but how, I was not sure yet.

My legs stretched and expanded, along with my lengthening spine. The previously delicate woman hands were replace with my rough coarse ones. Christina was now way below me as I towered over her. The magic inside me settled, and I knew the transformation was complete. Nothing seemed odd or out of place, letting me release a breath of relief. But yet, something was out of place. My skin still felt exposed where my armour should have covered it. My helm was not upon my head like normal. And where were my boots?

Looking down, I saw in horror the part of the transformation that was not completed. I stood there still clad in the woman's nightclothes that I was in before. Some of the seams were ripped apart, the shirt taught against my now differently shaped chest. But by far, the pants…the pants were the worst. I was already drained of my precious magic. I could not fix it now. I would just have to go with it. My attention turned back to Christina, who was still in fear of me as I stood before her in the ridiculous women's clothing. My hand instinctively reached out into the air to where my scepter would have been if the transformation had gone better. "Who…who are you?" She asked, fear and awe in her tiny voice.

"I am Loki of Asguard. God of Mischeif and Lies." I whispered over her.

"And I am burdened with a…nicer purpose."