Full moon and other troubles
But in fact, the following week Bill had little chance of proving his qualities as a best friend except for the delicious midnight snacks he always prepared for Tonks when she came home from work. Apparently, his new office job at Gringotts was so underchallenging that thirsted for details about Tonks' planned mission. Equally jealous and worried, Bill listened to the little she was allowed to tell him, and also had an ear for Tonks' other worries and problems.
As for her preparation for cooperating with her future partner Lupin, she had begun to call him Remus, but had strongly refused to be called Nymphadora by him. After all there were some certain limits, she argued, even though Remus claimed that he did not find the name embarrassing at all, but very elegant. "How fitting." had been Alastor's sarcastic comment.
But that evening, when Tonks, Sirius, Alastor and Remus had gathered again in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place No 12, the atmosphere was anything but cheerful. According to the lunar calendar on the wall, there was a full moon tonight, which had an extremely negative effect on Lupin's mood.
Hunted and restless, the werewolf walked up and down, always under the gloating gaze of Kreacher, who at Sirius' order cleaned the oven - or at least pretended to - while he casually dropped vicious remarks about werewolves.
Remus ignored him, constantly cast worried looks at the clock and urged the others to hurry.
The wolf ban potion, a horribly smelly and bubbling brew, he had already taken pluckily during the late afternoon. With the words: "I must leave one thing to Severus: His wolf ban was clearly tastier and, in my opinion, more effective. Why can't St. Mungo do it like that," he had choked three cups of the stuff down.
Now he waited for the onset of drowsiness and dizziness which, he said, signaled the transformation under the influence of the wolf ban. As soon as he felt something, he would withdraw to his room and lock himself up, just as a precaution.
"Besides, it's really not a pretty sight, I've been told." he added, looking at Sirius, who nodded affirmatively and winked at Tonks.
Alastor would meet with Dumbledore the next day to plan further steps of the Order, which was why Tonks and Remus would say goodbye to him today.
Tonks offered to cook something for them all, despite the fact that there was little she could prepare except omelette. But her attempt to loosen up the mood a little and to make the atmosphere of their last evening together more comfortable failed.
"Not for me, food doesn't go so well with the wolf ban..." was Remus' slightly irritated comment.
Secretly relieved, Tonks passed around a box of chocolate frogs instead, which immediately put Sirius in a nostalgic mood. "These cards are still exist! They look exactly the same. I had over two hundred of them, didn't I, Moony?" Remus, standing alone by the fire, nodded silently.
"How do we actually do that with the wolfs ban potion on the way?" Tonks wanted to know timidly. Remus had a hard time addressing this now of all times, but the question had to be clarified. "I mean, we probably can't get to London fast enough. It's too far."
Lupin shrugged his shoulders. "I assume there are ways in this camp to get hold of some potion. After all, many of my kind use this option. And if not... I'm sure the pack living there has secured a wooded area for their transformations or something." He shuddered visibly when he imagined transforming himself into a werewolf without the calming effect of the wolf ban.
Tonks, who didn't dare replying, nodded in agreement, pushed back her chair and walked past Remus to the pantry to get fresh butter beer.
Suddenly Lupin swayed. His eyelids fluttered and he held onto Tonks' shoulder.
"Paw!" he gasped, apparently completely disoriented. Immediately Sirius was with him and put an arm around his waist to support him.
"Here we go, I'll take him up." he said tense.
"Let me help!" Tonks laid one of Remus' arms over her shoulder. Sirius gave her a look in the eye but did not disagree when it became clear that Lupin could keep on his feet much worse than expected.
Kreacher, who had given up his position at the stove and now, half triumphantly half frightened, retreated into the cupboard under the boiler, yelled: "Hold him, hold him! The beast comes to life... if Kreacher's mistress only knew..."
Alastor watched the events with his wand drawn, but otherwise held back.
Together Sirius and Tonks dragged the shaking werewolf from the kitchen into the staircase. It took quite a bit of work to carry the tall trembling man to his room on the third floor. On the way they had to drop Remus once and leaned him against a wall.
"Merlin's beard! Moony, next time please tell me sooner that you're not feeling well any more," Sirius shouted.
Lupin did not answer. Under his closed eyelids, his eyes twitched restlessly back and forth, he had pressed his jaws firmly together and pulsating veins emerged from his temples. Tonks was uneasy.
"Let's go!" she urged Sirius and they continued their ascent.
Remus' room was Sirius's father's former bedroom, which lay a little apart from the other grand rooms in the attic. A dark, spartan room with a massive, uninviting bed frame made of dark ebony stood at its front side.
Sirius and Tonks laid Remus on the dusty mattress and removed all blankets and curtains into which he could get entangled and hurt himself during his transformation.
At last Sirius closed the two oriel windows and locked out the mild summer evening, on whose firmament stood a perfect, bright full moon.
Lupin's hands were clawed into the thin sheet and small pearls of perspiration stood on his forehead. Tonks would have liked to have relieved him of his pain but did not dare to touch him in this situation.
Remus may have been under the spell of the wolf ban and kept his human consciousness throughout the transformation, but he remained a dangerous animal whose claws and teeth could still seriously injure them.
The severe pain made Lupin unpredictable at the moment, which was why Sirius and Tonks did not stay in the room longer than necessary, but quickly returned to the corridor and magically locked the door behind them.
Slightly out of breath, Sirius leaned against the wood panelling. "Thank you." he said to Tonks. "It would have been really hard on my own. I don't understand why he didn't just go up earlier."
Tonks shrugged her shoulders. "You're welcome. I guess he just wanted to be at the meeting as long as possible..."
"Still...", Sirius stroked his hair out of his face. "That was a little irresponsible of him. Even to himself. He could've gotten seriously hurt. I don't know him like this..."
From Remus' bedroom there were now tediously suppressed screams and loud moans, followed by a deep growl. Sirius pityingly wrinkled his face.
"Let's go downstairs. There's nothing left to do for him tonight."
Tonks helped Alastor into his travel cloak and accompanied him up to the entrance hall, where they said goodbye as quietly as possible. Tonks was not quite clear why Sirius had so urgently asked them to do so, but she suspected that this was about the neighbours, who were not supposed to know that someone still lived in Grimmauld Place No 12. Once Dunbledore found the time, they would cast a Fidelius spell over the headquarters to protect it from both Muggles' and Wizard's eyes.
Alastor pulled his walking stick out of the troll foot. He looked around the bleak hall again. There was a worried look on his face. Apparently, he was no longer sure whether he should leave his protégé alone on a full moon with a werewolf and a wizard who was wanted for murder.
"Don't worry, Mad-Eye!" Tonks said reassuringly. "Everything will be all right. Remus and I can handle it,"
"Listen." Alastor interrupted her. He rummaged in his coat pockets and finally brought to light a small bottle with a bluish liquid.
Tonks' mouth remained open. "Where did you get this?" she whispered insistently.
Alastor gave her a look that made her go silent. "If the werewolf gets out of your control... if you have the feeling that being together with his conspecifics does him no good - this is said to happen very often - then...", he pressed the vial into her hand.
Tonks shook her head defensively. "Is that what I think it is?"
"Draught of Living Death... but very diluted." Alastor quickly added when he saw Tonks' dismayed expression. "It won't put him in a coma right away... several hours of unconsciousness from which no one can wake him up, that's all."
"Mad-Eye, I..." Tonks' helpless stuttering was not very convincing.
"I just want you to be safe."
"You send me on a mission like this and the only thing you warn me about is my partner? Remus obviously is having a hard time." Alastor seemed unconvinced, but before he could answer her, Tonks put forward the killer argument: "Dumbledore trusts him. So, we should do it, too."
The next sentence seemed to cost Alastor a great deal of effort. Dissatisfied, he grinded his teeth until he finally pressed out the words between his jaws: "Dumbledore can be wrong."
Tonks tilted her head. "He wasn't wrong about you, Mad-Eye. Why don't you give Remus a chance?"
Aalstor made a strange movement between shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders before closing Tonks' finger around the potion in her hand. "Just take it. Just in case... Constant vigilance!" The last sentence Tonks spoke along like a mantra.
"Good luck, Nymphadora."
After Alastor had left the house, Tonks quickly had the bottle disappear into her jacket pocket. She did not plan to use it.
In the following two days Tonks did not hear from any of the members of the Order. Alastor was still with Dumbledore - Tonks wondered where the school principal was spending the holidays, for she could not imagine him anywhere else but Hogwarts - and Remus did not seem to have recovered from his transformation yet. Tonks was still tinkering with a few details of the mission on her own, but soon found nothing that could be improved right now. Kingsley had given her a few days off before she left so that she could prepare herself properly and be independent in her short-term decisions.
So, Tonks enjoyed the hot summer weather and settled down on the tiny balcony of her apartment. To Bill's incomprehension, next to a jug of ice-cold pumpkin juice she set up a jam jar, which contained a little magical light. She used the blue flame to communicate with Sirius. In the bright midday sun, it could hardly be seen, but when the flame finally turned red and heated up to such an extent that the pumpkin juice nearby almost began to boil, Tonks knew that it was time.
She ran into her bedroom excitedly, only to realize that about all her preparations she had completely forgotten the packing itself. Rushed, she pulled out an old backpack from under the bed and swung her wand. Immediately, clothes, shoes, books, pens, today's edition of the Daily Prophet and the spicoscope that Alastor had once given her all flew into the open bag, where they landed as wild chaos. In an attempt to take up Tonks' entire possessions, it almost burst at the seams.
Tonks used to travel with an old wardrobe trunk from her boarding school days, but on this mission she could take with her only the essentials in order to remain as flexible as possible. A half-empty bottle of butter beer broke to pieces, as Tonks' beloved edition of 'Quidditch Through the Ages' flew into it and knocked it of the dresser. Innocently the book fell at her feet. Angrily she reached for it. That one would have to stay here.
Drwan by the noise, Bill stuck his head into the room. "Are you all right?" he asked with an amused face.
Tonks frowned. The damage was no greater than that of the ugly carpet, now soaked in butter beer. Bill entered and casually removed the stain with a swerve of his wand.
"Were you trying to pack?" he asked. "You'll have to practice there."
Tonks nodded moaning. "My mom's really good at this. She clearly should have made me help more in the household... but she always wanted to prove how good she could do it herself," she replied apologetically.
Laughing, Bill picked up some postcards, most of which came from him, from the floor. "You'd rather hunt gnomes and fairies than help with the household." he teased her.
Someone knocked timidly and the door opened again. It was Fleur who must have just arrived. Tonks had agreed to give her a key to the apartment at some point, but didn't like it when Bill's girlfriend just showed up unannounced.
He was all the happier. Grinning, he went to her to welcome her with a kiss. Fleur quickly got rid of him, public expressions of love were usually unpleasant to her. In that respect, she was very British.
She just opened her mouth to greet Tonks as she noticed the untidiness of the room. "Mon dieu, Tonks! What happened here?"
Insulted, Tonks crossed her arms. It didn't look that much worse than usual, after all. "Nothing. I'm just going away."
Fleur looked at her boyfriend questioningly. "You never told me about this," she said reproachfully.
"It hasn't been known for very long," Bill defended himself. He proudly added: "Tonks travels for her work as an Auror. And today seems to be the big day."
Fleur nodded and to Tonks' surprise she saw reluctant recognition in her beautiful face.
But that could also be deceptive. Fleur rolled up her blouse sleeves with a determined face. "I will 'elp you."
The last thing Tonks wanted was Bill's girlfriend 'elping her. She would inevitably rummage through her personal belongings and possibly even find the secret travel preparations or references to Sirius.
"That's nice of you, but really not necessary...", Tonks tried to prevent anything worse with an artificial laugh.
But Fleur's facial expression tolerated no contradiction and Bill had discreetly withdrawn in the meantime. "Oh, yes, it is. It's not going to take long!"
And indeed, with an energetic sweep of her wand, Fleur made Tonks' clothes fold neatly and sort by colour. Writing pens, parchment and ink flooded into the folder that Tonks hadn't even known she had, and her few cosmetics neatly lined up at the edge of her desk. Fleur seemed highly concentrated and Tonks was speechless about the clarity and precision of her spells. Finally, Fleur managed to fill the bag pack to the brim with the most necessary clothes and everyday objects without it exploding. She even made its straps close on their own. Satisfied, she lowered the wand and took a look at her work.
"Wow, that was pretty good." Tonks admitted. In return she got a graceful nod and a conceited smile before Fleur left the room.
Alone again, Tonks picked up a few more photos and secret documents and stuffed them into her shoulder bag. Her travelling clothes were practical and simple: Despite the warm weather she wore her boots and long trousers, a wide T-shirt and short hair. In that way equipped she went to the kitchen to say goodbye to Bill and also to grab some pumpkin juice.
Her best friend stood alone by the window. Fleur had gone to the balcony. Tonks saw her standing with her back to them at the balustrades, her silver-blond hair fluttering around her narrow shoulders, although there was no wind at all. She tried not to disturb Bill and Tonks in saying goodbye. Amazingly tactful, as Tonks thought.
"Goodbye, Bill."
Her friend turned to her. His expression was unusually serious. "I know you didn't tell me everything about this mission. I didn't say anything, but I know. You've been acting so weird for days, what is it?"
Tonks frowned. She should have known that Bill had seen through every excuse she had made up so far. She couldn't hide anything from him, he knew her too well for that. She made another weak defense attempt. "Bill, I'm going on a top-secret mission, of course I can't tell you everything."
Disappointed, Bill let his shoulders hang down. Tonks was so sorry she couldn't just tell the truth. But it would be pointless to come out with everything now and then disappear. She hugged her friend and said, "When I get back, I can tell you more."
Bill returned her hug. "Just be careful! And don't get involved with the wrong people... and eat enough and -"
Laughing, Tonks resigned. "You sound like my mom!"
To her relief, Bill's corner of his mouth showed a smile again. The subject was certainly not yet finished for him, but at least he agreed to let it rest until she was back. "Did you even tell your parents you're going away?" he asked severely.
Tonks hummed and hawed. "I saw no reason to."
Bill punishes her with a disapproving look.
"They're worried anyway, and... you don't tell your parents everything either." Tonks nodded her head meaningful towards Fleur. Bill blushed.
Suddenly there was a loud hiss outside and Fleur jumped screaming aside. Bill and Tonks' heads turned around. The small magical light shone scarlet red, swollen to the size of a coconut and threatened to break the glass in which it still stood on the balcony.
That was Tonks' cue. With one last encouraging look in Bill's direction, she grabbed her broom, which leaned against the kitchen wall, and disapperated.
It was the first time that Tonks walked alone, without Alastor at her side, to Grimmauld Place No 12. He had always owned a key, but now that he wasn't here, Tonks didn't know how to get into the house. Suspiciously, she looked at the blind nameplate above the doorbell. She considered it unlikely that the old device was still functional and therefore decided to use the heavy door knocker in the form of a snake's head. No evil suspecting, Tonks let the brass knob bang three times loudly against the dark gate.
Moments later, she was scared to death.
Apparently, all hell broke loose inside the house. Someone was screaming and raging in a high-pitched voice. The voice of a woman who shouted so loudly that Tonks covered her ears door and anxiously looked out for curious Muggles. She pressed her head laterally against the wood in an attempt to identify the cause of the ruckus. Weakly she heard footsteps and beside the screaming hardly discernible male voices. Then the door was opened and Tonks, who was still listening, stumbled over the threshold, right into Remus' arms.
Desperately trying to regain her balance, she clung to his shoulders and saw with her eyes wide open where the noise came from: The curtain at the front of the entrance hall, behind which Tonks had always suspected the cellar exit, was now open and revealed the life-size image of a woman. The portrait showed an old dark-haired witch in silver and green with a bright red head screaming her soul out.
"TRAITOR BLOOD GANG, SHAME ON THE WHOLE FAMILY! WERWOLF SCUM IN MY HOUSE...", when she saw Tonks, she paused briefly before running even redder and yelled: "THERE SHE IS! THE BRAT OF MY UNWORTHY NIECE THAT PREFERRED TO RUIN HER BLOODSTATUTS BY MARRYING A DIRTY MUGGEL-", she was interrupted when Sirius, who had been dragging the curtains to the sides of the picture for some time, succeeded in closing it.
The silence almost hurt the ears. Tonks still stared completely perplexed at the closed curtains, while Remus and Sirius, both out of breath, exchanged anxious glances.
"May I introduce Walburga Black, your great-aunt... or also known as my mother."
Speechlessly, Tonks tried to connect in her head the image of the screaming woman and the man in front of her whom she had grown fond of in the last few days.
"I think she's in shock," Remus said, when Tonks, after minutes of silence, made no preparations to respond to Sirius' words.
Tonks looked at them and stuttered: "No, it's... I'm just... surprised, I think."
Sirius nodded. "I understand that. She's the reason we're always so quiet around here. She starts screaming when there's noise. We wanted to take the picture off, but I think she used a permanent sticky curse to make my life a living hell forever." With a bitter smile he turned away from his mother's portrait and waved her into the kitchen.
Tonks picked up her broom, which she had dropped in shock, and Remus locked the door.
"So this is her... the traitor's daughter. If Kreacher had known this...", the old house-elf came to sip at her through the entrance hall. Apparently, he had been lurking in one of the dark corners the whole time, watching the scene. His face showed confusion but above all disgust. "How dare the wicked half-breed to come here when her unworthy mother has been banished from this old and noble house? How daring to show herself with the beautiful features of Madame Bellatrix, when it could take on a more fitting face? Maybe that of a pig..." The house-elf burst into spiteful giggling.
Tonks didn't know what to say to this.
But Remus stept in front of her. "Your views are of no interest, Kreacher!", he said in a firm voice.
"Not of interest," the elf aped after him. "Who cares what a werewolf says to Kreacher? No one! Right, mistress? No one." Gossiping quietly, he disappeared into the darkness again, not without first giving Tonks a devastating glance.
Remus put one hand on her shoulder and released her from her numbness. "Are you all right? Don't take it personally. He doesn't know any better."
Tonks frowned. With a hint of anger in her voice she asked: "What is this? Are you protecting him for the cruel things he says? He respects none of us!"
A sad smile appeared on Remus' lips. "Let's put it this way, I'm used to people who talk the way he does." A sad smile appeared on Remus' lips. "But the thought that they're all just misguided... under the wrong influences, helps me. Helps me not to freak out at every hostile remark, every rejection."
Shaking her head, Tonks replied: "But it hurts you anyway."
Remus nodded seriously. "Yes, but no one else."
Sirius was sulking. It was obvious that he would have loved to accompany them on their mission. While Remus and Tonks dragged their luggage out of the house and into an abandoned side street, he ran beside them as a big black dog. Showing his isultedness he pinched in his tail, growled at passing cats and barked away a flock of sparrows.
"Hush, Paw! We don't want to draw any more attention to ourselves," hissed Tonks. They had agreed to call Sirius outside the house only by his nickname, which fortunately could pass for a dog name. But Sirius did not pay attention to her rebuke but jumped challengingly onto a low garden wall and balanced along it with a proudly raised nose. Tonks moaned. He couldn't be any more dog-unusual.
She and Remus attracted enough suspicious glances in the dim streets of London. She with a backpack and broom. He with a mended travel cloak, scars on his face and rings under his eyes. His transformation two days ago had left clearly visible traces. That was another reason why they decided to cover the distance to Cardiff with the Knight Bus. They would be less conspicuous among other wizards. In addition, Tonks wanted to be seen by as many witnesses as possible as she got off the bus at her destination to avoid any doubts Kingsley might have about her sincerity in fulfilling the mission.
Finally they had found a suitable solitary place and said goodbye to Sirius. Remus crouched down in front of him and looked him in the eyes. Slowly and forcefully, as if to exhort a child, he said: "Please don't do anything stupid while I'm away. I'm sure Mad-Eye will be back soon and maybe Albus and Minerva will stop by." After a short break, during which he apparently interpreted the reproachful look of the dog, he added: "You know we would like to take you with us. But you also know it's not possible." Remus straightened up again and stroked Sirius's fur encouragingly. "Keep your chin up!"
When he resigned, the big dog threw himself on Tonks and licked across her face. She laughed and gave back the warm embrace.
"Hey, why aren't you mad at her too?" asked Remus, who followed the scene in amusement.
Sirius looked at him disparagingly as if it was obvious that Tonks was of course not to blame. Although it was her who had proposed Remus' participation in the mission.
Grinning, the two watched Sirius, who now quickly ran back towards Grimmauld Place.
"How does he get in?" Tonks asked. "He can't hold the key."
Remus stretched out his wand to call the Knight Bus before answering quietly. "The house is always open to family members."
When he saw Tonks' skeptical look, he added: "Only for those who actually still bear the name 'Black', as we have noticed. Which means, of course, neither you nor your mother can get in without a key. But fortunately, this also applies, for example, to Bellatrix Lestrange or Narcissa Malfoy."
Tonks had no time to answer, as at that moment the three-storey purple bus appeared in front of them with a loud bang and split the dark evening with two flashes of orange spotlights.
Tonks smiled and looked up at Remus. She whispered excitedly: "Here we go!"
