He couldn't help it, he burst out laughing.

Due to the way they passed the genin exam, Sasuke and Naruto had gotten on Kakashi's shit list. As a result they often came home looking like they had gone a few rounds with Tora the demon cat.

(Who ironically enough, happened to be a female. Haru didn't know who was more horrified to find out that Tora was pregnant, Hermione or the Daimyo's wife.)

"Rough day?"

"We got him back for yesterday. He was dumb enough to join us for a round of poker," said Sasuke, trying not to wince.

Haru laughed long and hard.

"Naruto clean him out?"

"His wallet, savings, and he now has claims to Kakashi's first born," Sasuke confirmed.

"Who shall be named Twitchy," said Naruto in a serious voice.

"What's this I hear about children named Twitchy?" asked Sirius from the kitchen.

"SIRIUS WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT YOU COOKING?"bellowed Haru in good humor.

Sirius walked in with a grin.

After he nearly burned down the compound when he attempted to boil water (which was surprising, considering the entire place was fire proof because of who used to live there) Haru and everyone in the house banned him from so much as touching the kitchen utensils. If it involved flame in any way shape or form, he wasn't allowed near it.

His usual punishment involved food prep.

"Our new sensei is still angry that we pranked him so thoroughly during the test, and he's making our training harder than normal."

"How bad is it?"

"Poor Akamaru and Hoshi are dog tired by the end of it. Though to be fair, only Naruto has been able to beat him in a contest of stamina," said Sasuke.

"He runs from jounin and chunin levels on a daily basis. Kakashi mostly wanders around the village reading that porn book with crappy plot lines," snorted Haru.

Haru had gotten an Icha Icha Paradise as a gag gift from Sirius last year. He had read it, but found it to be sorely lacking in many areas.

Mainly in the plot. Whoever this Jiraiya is, he was a crappy writer.

"I'll go talk to him later. For now, we dine at Ichiraku's!"

Naruto and Sirius cheered. The hound had a real love of noodles.

"And Sirius is paying, since he tried to burn us down earlier," grinned Haru.

"OI!"


Haru found Kakashi easily enough. He sent Hedwig out with a balloon filled with sticking potion, and waited for her to drop the bomb on him.

Kakashi was glaring at her when Haru arrived.

"It's bad enough your little brother and cousin do that to me, but why you?"

"Because you're running them into the ground without anything conclusive to show for it. Be glad I didn't sick Anko on you."

"Fair enough. What do you want?"

"I want you to either tone down the anger issues or I will come back to haunt your sorry arse, and next time I'll send Hedwig with a gender switching potion and give you to Jiraiya as a present."

Kakashi glared at him.

"Why do you hate my little brother and cousin anyway? Is it because of the overgrown furball?"

"It's not because of the fox. And I don't have an issue with the Uchiha or the Inuzuka brat."

"Fine, then is it because of Naruto's father?"

Kakashi's visible eye widened.

"What do you know about his parents?"

"I'm fairly certain the reason no one talks about Naruto's father...is because he's the son of the Yellow Flash. Am I right?"

"Who told you?" asked Kakashi.

"No one. It was pretty obvious, actually."

"It's not that obvious!" Kakashi nearly yelled.

"Blond hair, blue eyes. The only person who fit that description is the Yellow Flash. And I assume Naruto got his little speech quirk from his mother."

"You know who his mother is?" Kakashi asked in morbid curiosity.

"Kushina Uzumaki, I would guess. The only person in the area who had consistent contact with the Yellow Flash at the time was Kushina. And from what I've heard, she had a speech quirk too."

"Unstick me and we'll go see the Hokage."

"Fine."


"How long have you known?"

"For nearly two years. It was when I brought Naruto with me to this particular office and happened to see him next to a picture of the Fourth that I put two and two together. I'm guessing there is a reason no one told him?"

"He isn't ready. Minato had so many enemies that it would be too dangerous for him to know."

"And the fact that the son of the Fourth was the one chosen to seal the Nine Tails meant nothing to you? Did it ever occur to you that maybe it would have kept him from being hated by almost everyone?"

"It was bad enough you told him about that. He wasn't supposed to know until he at least reached Chunin," said the Hokage reproachfully.

"If I hadn't, then Mizuki would have. Since I'm not allowed to tell him about the Fourth, can I at least tell him who his mother is? With the week he's had, it would really cheer him up."

"What do you mean with the week he's had?" asked the Hokage sharply.

Haru looked at Kakashi pointedly, who suddenly became nervous.

"According to Sasuke, the only way they could get back at their sensei was to get him into a poker game with Naruto."

The Hokage winced, visibly.

"Is there something I should know?" asked Kakashi suddenly.

"Naruto apparently has the luck of the very gods as some sort of karmic payback for being stuck with the Fox since birth," said Haru grinning.

"You should know brat. You suckered me into one last week," said the Hokage growling.

"Ah yes. Thanks for lending me those scrolls by the way."

"Which scrolls? What is he talking about?" asked Kakashi.

"I beat him at poker, and he had to lend me ten Jounin level secret scrolls for a week. Most fun I've had in months!"

The Hokage dropped to grumbling, and turned his attention to Kakashi.

"Fine. I'll get teach them tree walking by tomorrow, if you can get Naruto to forget the loss I suffered at poker."

"I might be able to convince him, if you don't mind being broke until your next paycheck and teaching him a wind jutsu."

"Deal."


"Wait, so Kakashi-sensei knew my parents?" asked Naruto excitedly.

"I'm not allowed to say who your dad is for security reasons, but the Hokage said he would let me if you ever reach Chunin. But I am allowed to tell you who your mom was."

Naruto was practically bouncing on his seat. For the first time in his entire life, someone was going to tell him about his parents!

"Your mother...was the last head of the Uzumaki clan, Kushina. According to the Hokage, she was the previous jailer of the fox. From what they've been able to tell, when she was having you, someone attacked and the seal was weakened to the point where the fox came out. Since you were her son, the Fourth sealed in it you for safe keeping," said Haru.

"Mom...was like me?"

"She was called the Red Hot Pepper, and she had a fiery temper to match. She was from the Village of Whirlpool, which was destroyed before you were born. She had a cousin, but no one knows what they changed their name to once they left the veil," said Haru.

"Wow..."

"Oh, and like you, she had a weird way of ending her sentences."

Naruto was so happy to even know what his mother was like he never thought to ask about his father. Haru promised to find Kushina's friends so he would learn more about his mother. And possibly his father, should Kakashi ever decide to let slip a few tales.

After the talk with the Hokage (and Naruto agreeing to forget the debt Kakashi owed him so long as he actually taught them all jutsu like he was supposed to be doing after a mission) things seemed to progress at a more smooth pace.

Naruto and his team found that fox containers and cats did not mix the hard way. Tora hated Naruto and would scratch the living hell out of him at any given chance.

On the plus side, after being bitten particularly hard on the ear by the feline, their team was no longer allowed to take that mission after Kiba and Naruto set Hoshi and Akamaru on the cat.

Kakashi had never seen a cat run so fast.


It wasn't until Team 7 finally took enough D ranks to qualify for a C that things really became interesting.

Haru happened to be in the mood for an out of village mission, so he had been there to pick out one that really looked easy. It was a simple escort and bodyguard one in Wave.

While Haru preferred going to higher temperatures, he could tolerate one of the few countries that had a climate close to England on a bad day.

The only other one was a supply run to Sand, and Haru didn't feel like dealing with cranky Sand nin at the moment.

So Kakashi and his team took it.

The second Haru's client came in, he felt glad he had taken the Wave mission instead of his little family. Tazuna would annoy the hell out of Naruto in a heartbeat.

Besides, something told him the bridge builder wasn't telling the whole story.

"So I get the midget brigade?" he asked in a slur.

Naruto stiffened, but said nothing.

"Actually, sir, you get me. They're going on a supply run to Suna."

Tazuna looked at him through drunken eyes and said "Great...a pretty boy."

Team 7 snickered. The sad fact was that Haru could do nothing to dispute that fact. Except...

"A pretty boy who's girlfriend is an insane snake loving Torture specialist," he replied with a smile on his face.

Tazuna wisely backed off.


"Hermione, what would you say to helping me on a mission?"

"What kind of help and why?"

"Simple escort mission to Wave, and we'll be protecting the bridge builder until the bridge is completed. I'll even split the pay with you."

She looked amused.

"Why not. I've been meaning to visit Wave anyway. Plus this will give me some peace from my little brother."

A year after moving to Konoha, Hermione found out that her mother was pregnant again, this time with a baby boy. It seemed life in Konoha suited her better, since the child had been delivered healthy nine months later.

She now had a baby brother named Daniel, and he kept her up at night.

Part of the reason why Haru had offered to bring her along. Plus it would give her a chance to work on the launchers she had been developing for the Aurors turned shinobi.

Like Haru, some of the former dark wizard catchers couldn't throw worth a damn. And they often lacked stamina. So Hermione had developed a small pocket launcher which they could load the standard kunai and shuriken in to compensate for it.

Haru was one of her beta testers, and so far it seemed to work.

Oddly enough, the larger sized shuriken didn't give him as many problems with aiming. It took him a while to get the spin right, but eventually he found it was easier to launch one big shuriken compared to a standard one.

Though he still disguised his massive ones as standards. Saved on space, though not so much for his wallet.

It was part of the reason he was taking this job.

"Fine, but mind if we take Crookshanks with us? The Daimyo's wife threatened to skin him for knocking up that demon cat, and I don't want to get into trouble for him attacking her."

Haru snickered.

"Why not. If anyone asks he's a nin animal. I'm taking Padfoot anyway."

"Why not Hedwig?"

Haru looked sheepish.

"She's going with Naruto to see that owl she likes. Naruto has the cooling spell down pat, so she should be fine. If not he can reverse summon her home and Sirius can look after her."

Crookshanks had clearly been taking lessons from the normal ninja animals, because he was on Hermione's shoulder like a parrot. He even acted like a nin animal, which cracked Haru up.

Padfoot walked beside Haru, acting like a normal dog.

Tazuna seemed inclined to think Hermione was Haru's psychotic girlfriend, despite meeting Anko by accident. Though the kiss she gave Haru should have been clue enough.

About five miles in, Haru found a major problem in the plan. A problem by the name of Gato.

Gato had become a major player in the shipping business, often taking advantage of the influx of magical refugees. The only reason he didn't underpay them was because any one of them could hex him seven ways to Sunday. They were used to dealing with corrupt people like him.

Apparently he had set his sights on Wave, which meant they could expect shinobi interference at the least.

"Great...I was expecting an easy, hassle free mission. Instead I have to deal with at least chunin level missing nin. I'm getting back-up."

Tazuna looked alarmed. Haru noticed and gave him a patient look.

"We are dealing with chunin level ninja at the very least, and missing nin usually have a high bounty on their heads at that level. I'll subtract whatever pay you can't afford from the bounties."

"We'll take a break here until you get back," she said. Padfoot walked over to Tazuna and sat down.


"Hey Anko, what would you say to leaving the village for a bit and dealing with shinobi in Wave?" asked Haru from behind her.

She yelped.

Anko hated it whenever Haru did the silent teleport trick, even if he did bring her awesome gifts as an apology. Today it was a pair of missing nin.

"Ooooh...are those the Demon Brothers?"

"We could have Ibiki put them on ice until we get back, or I can bring you here for a few days if we manage to catch a break."

"What's the occasion. And didn't you leave two hours ago?"

"Client underrated the mission. Gato is targeting his village, which means Chunin level targets at least. Sound interesting?"

Anko cackled, and put the Demon Brothers in a cell with her name on the outside to show they were reserved. People with a high enough ranking by Ibiki got a cell in which they could toss people in and the other interrogators would leave them alone as a courtesy.

Anko rarely got to use hers, though Haru sometimes threw people he had caught in there if they were on his List.

After she did that, she went to talk to Ibiki. Upon getting his approval (and the guarantee that he would at least feed her next victims for her) Haru teleported them to where Hermione was.

Tazuna yelped at the appearance of the two, though Hermione took it in stride.

"Best make up for lost time. How long was I gone?"

"Two hours at least. We should have been halfway to Wave by now," she said dryly.

"I'll take the old man if you take 'Mione."

"Deal," said Anko.

Hermione, catching the gist of the idea, climbed onto Anko's back without complaint. Tazuna did the same, albeit reluctantly.

It took them an two hours to get to the boat, which normally would have taken four.

Haru was grateful for the slight break once they got on the boat. He did a silent whistle at the sight of the bridge. It put the one in London to shame, easily.

And it was done with less technology and would likely need fewer repair jobs. Unlike the world beyond the veil, these bridges rarely had to deal with thousand ton cars, so the wear and tear was much smaller.

"It'll be the pride of Wave when it's done," said Tazuna proudly.

"I bet," said Haru in appreciation.

Once they reached land, Haru and Anko stretched properly before heading out. After carrying the civilians half the way there, they would need it to keep their muscles from cramping up.

They were heading to Tazuna's house when Anko yelled "Get down!"

Everyone hit the deck, with Hermione keeping Tazuna low to the ground. Haru took one look at the giant cleaver and knew they were in serious trouble.

Anko, when she saw the shinobi standing on said cleaver, cackled like the crazy bitch she was.

"Haru, you take me on all the best missions! Do you know who that is?"

Haru looked at the man closely and realized why she was in such a good mood.

It wasn't often you ran into a jounin class ninja who's reputation was as horrifying as your own.

"Zabusa Momochi, formerly of the Mist. If you're after the bridgebuilder, I will sick my girlfriend on you," Haru said with a grin.

Zabusa raised an eyebrow (which was surprising, considering they were practically nonexistent in the first place) at Hermione, as if claiming she wasn't a threat.

Hermione huffed.

"Why is it that everyone assumes I'm his girlfriend?"

Haru laughed openly, then jerked his head towards Anko.

"This is my girl. 'Mione is just an old friend."

Zabusa paled. He clearly recognized Anko from her Bingo Book page.

After a minute, he realized who Haru was too.

"Shit, that midget bastard never said I would have to deal with two of the biggest sadists in the Leaf!"

Hermione raised an eyebrow of her own.

"Sadist, Harry?"

"What? My nickname is the Green Eyed Demon. Is it my fault that people piss me off to the point where I get vindictive?"