Harry winced as the fifth empty beer bottle cluttered to the floor. Colin had been leaning against the wall shouting at him for over an hour now. Colin drew his wand.
"I fucking love you, but you just don't FUCKING LOVE ME BACK CRUCIO!" Colin must have surprised himself just as much as he surprised Harry, because the spell faltered seconds after it had been cast. Leaving both men panting and wide eyed. Colin strode up to Harry, who was hanging from the ceiling again.
"I was so fucking close!" Colin said, wand jabbed into Harry's ribs while his other had crushed Harry's jaw in a death grip. "We were being happy and normal and I didn't have to tie you up all last week, then you have to fight back?"
Harry had been so confused all week. since Colin found him in the abandoned house passed out after crying for hours over the daily profit article claiming he had abandoned them all for good. The owl had found him shortly after Harry realized he was too exhausted to Apparate away successfully.
"I was so hurt, and it took me months to accept that he would just leave James and me like he did." They were Ginny's words, she had waited a few months. And Colin's explanations had fit so perfectally and he was there and Harry needed someone, and he woke up comfortable and clean and no longer sore with someone stroking his hair, and Ginny had hurt him and Colin was there Harry's crazy mind made him like Colin, look after Colin, kiss Colin and finally Harry had come to his senses, that morning after having a dream where he was with Ginny and James once again. Colin had woken him up and Harry had told him;
"You make me want to kill myself."
Colin had been nursing a bottle since then, Harry was strung from the ceiling immediately and those thoughts had come back.
The thoughts where he knew he was in love with Colin. who had just tried to FUCKING crucio him.
"Crucio!" Colin succeeded. Harry screamed as the familiar but no less painful knives stabbed at his skin. The end of the wand against his ribs burned like fire, even after the curse stopped, Harry's swimming vision focused on Colin's golden hair and his bright blue eyes. Colin's face was right in front of Harry's own eyes, his glasses fogging up from Colin's hot breath.
Colin kissed him and the torture curse stopped. The hand in his hair was painful and the wand in his ribs hurt because it was pointy and poking him and because Colin was burning him with his magic. The pain caused Harry to sweat, Colin's body against his cause Harry to sweat, Harry was hanging from a dungeon and Colin was dominating him, and that caused Harry to sweat.
Harry moaned into the kiss, and Colin bit his bottom lip; drawing blood, his wand dropping from his hand to the floor with a clatter and Harry was held tightly as Colin dug his short fingernails deep into his back.
Harry gasped as he was swung around in his restraints and his pants were pulled down around his knees. Colin's breath smelled strongly of beer and he grunted as he rut his own, uncovered erection against Harry's ass.
Harry screamed no, and Colin didn't listen, but Harry deserved it, because Colin couldn't live without Harry.
Colin was laying on the floor of Harry's room, Harry was still hanging by his wrists, blood dribbled down his naked, sweat covered chest and legs. Colin was naked but for his socks, a half empty beer bottle was laying next to his head which was sporting a roaring hangover.
"That was amazing, Hero," Colin wearily lifted his head and stood on shaky legs, he cupped Harry's tear stained cheek and kissed him lightly. "Your doing so well, Hero, you can rest today."
"Thank you Colin." Harry whispered back. Colin untied Harry and helped him walk to Colin's bathroom where he was left alone to shower.
Harry turned the water on till it was scalding and stepped under it, he had gotten a souring pad from under the bathroom sink and began scrubbing at his skin, rubbing it red and raw, the water burning it painfully. Harry just stood there then, unable to feel clean and unable to express all the bitter hatred and helplessness in his chest, so Harry put his face under the stream of water until he was drowning, and choking and coughing.
"Oh Hero," Colin followed him into the shower, wrapping Harry in his arms and gently kissing his pink shoulder. "Shhhh," he cooed to the dark haired boy, "I love you Harry, everything will be alright."
Harry broke down properly then, he leaned all his weight against Colin and cried his heart out, the thoughts in his brain screaming at him to stop. remember Potter, you're the victim.
Whether Colin knew what he was thinking or it was jut coincidence that his deep, rumbling voice soothed away those confusing thoughts was a mystery to Harry but it did.
"We need each other Harry, we can help each other. Love."
"I'm tired of fighting." Harry whispered.
"I know love," Colin soothed.
"I'm tired of fighting." Harry said again, the abuse at the Dursley's and the abuse at Hogwarts and now this all catching up with him.
"Let me look after you." Colin whispered.
Harry silently nodded into Colin's bare shoulder as his brain shut down, as he gave up and he leaned into the embrace. Accepting that what this man was telling him was true, if he was good and did as he was told, he wouldn't be hurt, Harry Potter could be happy.
Colin loved him, and that's all that matters anymore.
The window had been smashed something like three months ago, Harry was still chained to the bed, by a long chain strapped around his ankle. His wrists had been rubbed raw and bloody by the cuffs but he didn't care. He looked at the shattered window now. The bottom was smashed out completely, the glass all gone, but the top had long, shining, sharp, panes of glass hanging down like deadly icicles.
Harry needed one.
He was careful to be so very, very quiet, but the chain rattled louder than anything he had heard in the deathly silence. He had no way of knowing if Colin was asleep or passed out.
Harry held his breath as he reached for the window. His fingers clutched the largest shard of glass and snapped it. He bit his lip as the glass cut his fingers but didn't make a noise.
Harry smiled. He missed Ginny and James. Colin confused him so, so much and he didn't want to keep going anymore, Colin would never give him his old life back and Harry was so tired of being the Chosen One, he had enough excitement in his life for a lifetime and he was ready to see his parents and Sirius and Remus once again, it was with this comforting though that Harry drove the sharp piece of glass into his left wrist. He made no noise as blood welled up around the glass and it poured out with furious gusto when he pulled the shard out.
Harry had difficulty driving it into his other wrist, but was feeling ill and sleepy before he managed it, so he left it. Leaving his arm hanging over the bed so the blood pooled on the ground he shut his eyes. He had five minutes, maybe, before he bled out.
I'm so sorry, for failing you, but I cannot keep living like this.
