Chapter 07
Dear Maestro Cialdini, Yuuri wrote maybe a week later, paper smoothed over the back of the Decamerone. It had been weeks since he last had written to him and it was gnawing on his conscience, so this morning he had taken his writing implements with him.
But now he sat here, body still aching from the dress rehearsal for the Wildschütz, dancing included, head still buzzing from the rehearsal of the Vampyr pieces and stomach busy with an apple he had chewed down before settling in this nook on the gallery to write.
He heard giggling nearby and looked up. Three ballet girls, still in their training whites, sat there, skirts spread around them like clouds. They all were reading a letter the girl sitting in middle held in her thin, calloused fingers.
Smiling at the sight Yuuri looked back down on his paper.
June in Dresden has a lot of May in Milan, maybe minus the back alley stabbings. The Germans are efficient when it comes to their police force. I just wish they would show the same dedication when it comes to winemaking. It is no wonder the Teutons remain so faithful to their beer.
Good starter, he decided. It definitely showed that he was well and had adjusted to Dresden with some success.
I did not get a solo in the Wildschütz, which I am sure does not come as a surprise to you. Still, I am sorry. Shortly after there was another try-out, this time for an opera entitled Der Vampyr. From the synopsis it sounds very much like the epitome of German romanticism, very dark and mysterious – or at least it tries to be. From the chorus parts alone I can not discern much uncanniness. I did not try out for this.
Well, there it was. Yuuri looked down at the words and then sighed, deeply. Celestino would not be happy to hear that. He had always been remarkably gracious, kind and supportive when Yuuri had tried and failed, but the same never had applied when Yuuri hadn't tried in the first place.
Too late. Yuuri stared at the damned words that had escaped his pen and gnawed on his bottom lip.
He could already see Celestino furrow his brow, hand twitching towards pen and paper to write an answer admonishing him for not giving himself a challenge.
The try-out for the Wildschütz had been a disaster and the one for the Vampyr followed closely after. I was in no shape to participate, not to mention give a decent performance.
Now that was guaranteed to get Celestino ranting towards the paper while he put his pen down.
Yuuri sighed.
Work on both the Wildschütz and the Vampyr are coming along well. My German has improved considerably and I have friends who help me when my pronunciation is too Italian to not be noticed, even in a chorus. Regarding the Wildschütz, opening night is in a week and we have daily dress rehearsals. This includes a lot of dancing. In the last weeks we had regular dance lessons with the head of the ballet. It is exhausting, to put it mildly, and Madam Barnosk is quite intimidating. After practise we are all as good as dead. At the very least, it keeps some of our more energetic singers out of off-stage trouble.
After the Vampyr we will work on an opera by E.T.A. Hoffmann, Undine. Once again the sujet is rather fantastical and shows a curious amount of romanticism I didn't expect from someone like Mr. Feltsman, especially considering his distaste for his predecessor Richard Wagner. (Speaking of which, I do think you would like Mr. Feltsman very much, if you had a chance to meet him, and I am forever grateful to you for recommending me to him and entrusting me into his care.)
Since there are still a few smaller solo parts open on the Undine, I am currently preparing myself for the try-out for these. Right now I am confident that I can hand in a decent performance.
When this letter arrives in Milan, both the opening night of the Wildschütz and the tryouts for the Undine will be through and I hope I can give you good news for both of these.
In hopes to find you in good health and plenty of work I leave you now.
With tender greetings,
Yuuri Katsuki
He probably could have written more. Maybe Celestino wanted to know about his life here, how he fared and who his friends were. Maybe Yuuri could tell him about that. But maybe he wasn't interested in that. Maybe now, after a few months, he was glad Yuuri was out of the way and a letter would only annoy him.
Maybe that was the reason Celestino had sent him away after all. Or at least part of it. Yuuri, after all, could not deny that he had improved since he had left Milan, though probably for different reasons than Celestino had anticipated. Celestino could not have known that the theatre housed a baritone in its bowels who was just too happy to tutor self-doubting tenor singers with a penchant for baritone.
With a deep sigh he folded the letter and placed it inside the Decamerone. It was almost time for his lesson with Viktor. No performance for him today, so more lesson time, more improvement, more time with Viktor.
Looking around he snuck through doors, down the stairways to the basement corridors and then through the door to the level before the vaults.
Nobody to see, as per usual, and Yuuri went for the pot behind the dust-covered barrels.
The violin was still there and he squatted there, waiting.
Viktor was one of those things he wanted to tell Celestino about. But the mere fact that Viktor lived under the theatre, in secret on top, was a pretty clear indicator that this was not a topic to elaborate on, so he didn't.
Maybe, if Celestino would ask, he would mention a tutor, but nothing more. At this point, Viktor still was his secret and he would keep it as long as necessary. Which hopefully was for a long time; keeping this secret just felt too sweet, no matter how much sweeter the prospect of sharing Viktor with the world would be.
Later, sometime later For now, he enjoyed their meetings and the wait for them.
He didn't have to wait long today.
Maybe ten minutes after he had arrived and squatted next to the violin case he heard the soft fall of footsteps he associated with Viktor and looked up to find him gazing at him.
"There you are." Viktor smiled at him, offering him a hand.
Yuri found himself smiling back. "Here I am." He took the hand and got up, grabbing the violin while he was at it. "What is the program for today?"
"Mainly the Vampyr," Viktor answered as he unlocked the door and led Yuuri into darkness. By now the way down was familiar enough that Yuuri could step with care even before Viktor uttered a warning. Probably he wouldn't even need Viktor to hold his hand as they walked, but Yuuri was careful not to mention that. He most definitely did not want to not hold Viktor's hand on these occasions and even less he wanted Viktor to think he didn't want to. "But I think we should start working for the Undine too. That is, if Yuri talked you into participating in the try-out."
Yuuri chuckled. "He kind of did."
"He can be quite insistent, I know. If he gets too annoying, please do tell me. I will put him in place."
"No, it's alright, really." Yuuri's cheeks grew warmer. "I kind of need this pushing and probing and coaxing. On my own I don't think I ever would participate in any of these things."
"Why is – oh, careful, we're at the steep part."
Probably he wouldn't have needed Viktor's arm wrapping itself around his shoulder to not stumble and fall, but Yuuri was definitely not complaining about its presence. If Viktor noticed Yuuri's secure steps he did not comment on it as well.
"Why is that?" he asked instead, "you should have had several solo roles by now, probably some leads too."
"Thank you for thinking that way." Yuuri sighed. "Well, you listened to the try-out for the Wildschütz, didn't you?"
"Yes."
"That sort of thing happens to me. I don't even know why. I prepare, I know the songs, but, well. After a while it became some sort of joke in Milan, to bet if I would freeze up this time. Then that grew old and the big question became how long it would take me to freeze up and in the end we didn't say when hell freezes over, but when an Oriental gets a solo. That was the point when it was decided I might fare better elsewhere. Fresh start and all."
That had come out faster than he had wanted, a staccato of words he wasn't sure Viktor had understood.
He was just glad it was too dark for Viktor to see his face.
Viktor took his time to translate Yuuri's comment and Yuuri made a mental note to slow down his Italian a little bit.
"You ever wondered why that is?" he then asked. "You sing perfectly fine when you are in a group of people or when you are alone."
"Well, when I'm in a group nobody will notice me in particular." Urgh, one day he would learn not to blurt out the most embarrassing admissions without reflecting on them beforehand. Today, however, was not that day.
"That sort of thing, huh?" Viktor mumbled. "Say, do you miss your friends back home?"
"I miss Milan a bit, yes," Yuuri admitted. "And my guardian, but I didn't have any friends to speak of."
Viktor came to a halt and pulled Yuuri a little closer to him in what almost felt like a hug. "I am sorry to hear that."
Yuuri's face grew even hotter. "No, no, it's alright. I was used to it."
"That doesn't make it alright, though," Viktor argued.
"Maybe not, but it can't be changed anymore." Yuuri sighed. "And even with this I was terrified of leaving. Stupid, right?"
"Maybe, but then again, there are many people in the world just as stupid and there are a lot of things that are worse."
Now Viktor's touch was turning into a real hug. "How are things now?"
"I think…" Yuuri mulled over it.
"Do you have any friends here?"
Thank goodness, a question he could actually answer. "Some from the chorus." Most definitely Johannes. With Alexander and Thomas he got along as well, as with Andreas. Though he would not call them friends yet, they were nice and fun to spend time with. With the other singers he had less contact though.
And probably Georgi.
Viktor's head leaned atop of his; he could feel his breath rustling through his hair and down his neck. "Why are you asking?"
"You're not alone in this, that's all." Viktor now smiled against the crown of his head. "And you are more than a stranger's face to them."
And to you? Yuuri wanted to ask, yet didn't. Under the given circumstances the answer was kind of obvious anyway.
"Well then," Viktor said and much to Yuuri's regret he let go of him, "if we don't get down we can't get to work on the Undine and then we can't figure out how to work on the actual problem."
Well, at least he still held his hand as he let him the last bit to his cavern.
Yuuri watched his shape reappear, defined by slowly growing light.
"Has Yakov said anything about the try-out yet?" Viktor asked while he walked around, carrying light from one corner of the place to another.
"No, not yet, but I think if he had found someone to play the open parts he would have started rehearsing the songs already."
"Yeah, he isn't one for giving singers a break, I know."
Yuuri smiled. "He knows when to do so, though. I think I like him."
Viktor broke into a broad, heart-shaped smile that made Yuuri's chest open up all the more. "Well, he likes people who work hard. Let's get busy then, shall we?"
"Gladly. If we go through the chorus pieces one-by-one?"
"Of course." Viktor took out his violin from the case and tuned it while Yuuri looked through his music for the introductory song, all the while warming up and stealing a glance at Viktor's sharp, focused profile every now and then.
Viktor looked up, smiling at him. "Well, I'm ready."
"Play on," Yuuri chuckled, "maestro, I beg you, play on."
Viktor's mouth twitched as he took a mocking bow. "Well, if you are begging already, I have no choice, right?" He took up the violin and started to play the intro to the chorus piece. "By the way, no hunching," he commented while moving his bow.
Yuuri drew up his shoulders, breathed and-
"Ihr Hexen und Geister, Schlingt fröhlich den Reihn, Ihr Hexen und Geister, Bald wird unser Meister Hier unter uns sein!" Yuuri had to sing this one softly, yet with force. The whole chorus in this mode helped create the eerie, otherworldly tone of the song, establishing the vampiric master of the myriad of ghosts, spirits, demons and goblins.
"Softer," Viktor whispered. "Softer in the first four lines. Carry the tone on your breath. And after that get a bit stronger." He started again and Yuuri repeated the phrase, softer this time.
"Better. A bit softer still and then you raise your voice to the level of the first try." He started again.
"Ihr Hexen und Geister, Schlingt fröhlich den Reihn, Ihr Hexen und Geister, Bald wird unser Meister Hier unter uns sein!"
Viktor nodded along while he played. So that was adequate, probably. "Wegen grauser Freveltaten Ward der Boden hier verflucht, Drum wird er von uns gesucht, Dass wir uns auf ihm beraten." His voice grew a bit firmer now, the tone carrying on his breath stronger and sharper, almost to a low screech. "Lichtscheu in der Mitternacht, Wenn nur Angst und Bosheit wacht, Schleichen wir beim Mondenschein In die finstre Kluft hinein."
The modulations on his voice went on as he sang through it, returning to the almost ethereal whisper and then back to the hisses and screeches at the end. "Eul' und Uhu, ihr sollt schrein,
Kommt und schließt den muntern Reihn! Eul' und Uhu, ihr sollt schrein, Jo, hoho! hoho! joho! hoho! hoho!"
Viktor went on to fiddle a bit more before lowering the bow. "That was good. You practised your modulations?"
Yuuri laughed. "I think I begin to annoy my room mates."
"It pays off." He smiled again in that way that made Yuuri's heart jump. "But you need to practise how to breathe a tone."
Yuuri scratched his neck. "Yes, that is always a bit of a problem with me."
"It's simple, really. Easiest to control when you hold your fingers to your throat." With one step he was behind Yuuri and his fingertips rested against Yuuri's pulse. "Like this."
Yuuri prayed that he didn't notice how his breath fluttered for a moment.
"Now slowly breathe out. When I start humming, pick up the note, softly. Get louder gradually, like this."
He breathed out, softly, then with a single a. It carried lightly through the air, floating and then grew louder and firmer, before retreating again back into the softness it had held before.
It was a simple exercise and one that Yuuri had done often, but that didn't mean he was exactly good with it. Breathing a tone was almost annoying in how much trouble he had with it, especially considering how he had a bit less trouble with this when he was actually singing. Well, at least most singers had trouble with that when having to do this mid-song and it took a lot of practise each time.
"You got it?"
Yuuri nodded. "Yes."
"Good." Viktor's finger softly brushed over his skin. "Now breathe."
Yuuri breathed out in a slow, even stream and then listened to Viktor letting out a strong a, clear as water.
He found the tone himself and started softly, very softly letting it flow and float through the air, mingle with Viktor's voice and grow stronger, held it for a moment and then took it back again as Viktor's thumb brush over the side of his throat until the tone disappeared back into his larynx.
"Very good." Viktor smiled against the back of his head and then his hand was gone, quite to Yuuri's regret.
"The hand on your throat helps you feel the vibration of your voice. You can control it easier that way. Maybe it helps you."
He stepped away from Yuuri and took up his violin again. "Let's try again, shall we?"
They repeated the exercise with several different notes and Viktor listened to him with a sharp, focused gaze before he suddenly put down the violin.
"Give me a moment, will you – find the next piece to sing."
"What?" Yuuri watched him rush towards his writing desk and scribble something down in frantic haste.
"It's alright, I just had an idea." With gusto Viktor threw his pen on the table and returned, fingers stained dark with ink. "Sorry about that, have you picked out the next song?"
"Yes, it's pretty short." Yuuri held the sheet up for Viktor to take a look at the melody.
"Thank you – ah, frantic search." Viktor nodded. "If you're good with this I say we jump right into the next part."
Yuuri sighed. "Anything that makes this thing pass by faster."
"You don't like the Vampyr?"
Yuuri shrugged. "Not really, but well. We got it, I sing it. Play on?"
Viktor played.
And Yuuri sang. "Wo kann sie sein? Wo kann sie sein? Beim Fackelschein durchsucht den Wald,ruft Echo wach, dass tausendfach mit Hörnerschall allüberal die Stimme widerhall'. Janthe! Janthe! - Janthe!"
Apparently he was sufficiently frantic, for Viktor quickly played a bridge to the second chorus piece of the scene.
"Weh! die Vampyrhöhle!" Yuuri half sang, half screamed in terror. "Schnell hinweg mit leisem Tritt!" Softer, he added in pity, "Armer Vater! Armer Vater! Nur schnell hinweg! Nur schnell hinweg! Nur schnell hinweg mit leisem Tritt!" Again louder he pretended to be looking for a missing virgin, who was about to become the first on-stage victim of the titular vampire. "Wo mag sie sein? Hier ist sie nicht! Ja, hier verlor sich ihre Spur! Ach, armer Vater, armer Vater, armer Vater, Nimmer siehst du Janthen wieder, Hier verlor sich ihre Spur. Drum schnell hinweg mit leisem Tritt, Nur fort von hier, nur fort von hier! Drum schnell hinweg mit leisem Tritt! Nur fort von hier, nur fort von hier, fort mit leisem Tritt!"
"What brave fellows," Viktor commented dryly. "But that was good. Really good." He grinned. "You've been working hard."
Yuuri's neck grew warm. "It's all I can do, right?"
Viktor put his violin away for a moment. "Well, it's all one can do to make the best of what you've got. No amount of natural talent can replace dedication and effort. But why don't you like the opera?"
"It's a bit all over the place with its sujet. We have a conflict between two old friends, we have forbidden love and enforced marriage, we have mystery, we have crime... one or two of these things could have been easily left out and we wouldn't miss anything." Yuuri shrugged. "I think the conflict between Ruthwen and Aubrey would have been strong enough of a story in itself."
"Well, what about Malwina then, Aubrey's love interest?" Viktor asked, cocking his head.
"Take the love angle out. They don't have that much chemistry anyways, if you ask me. If you need her as the virgin the vampire covets, she might be Aubrey's sister or his ward or something, pitting platonic love against familial. I always found that a lot more compelling."
Viktor nodded to his explanations, his face a mask of contemplation.
Yuuri wondered why he had talked so much about something that was way above him. "Well, of course I am not composer," he quickly added. "Or a librettist, so I shouldn't speak."
"No, no, these are good points." Viktor tipped against his nose with his index finger. "It is always good to hear what singers think about the pieces they are to perform and critique is never wrong in general. So you would take out the romance?"
"Yes. There are more compelling themes than two men lusting after the same woman."
Viktor nodded and muttered something under his breath Yuuri didn't quite catch.
"Well, let's go on then."
They went through the whole Vampyr in a blaze. Yuuri had practised these damn songs until he couldn't hear them anymore, all the while considering what Viktor would find lacking in his original performance and working on it. It paid off, Viktor had only minor corrections to make to his singing and – also important – Mr. Feltsman had not complained about him.
"Undine now?" Viktor asked after Yuuri had finished the last verse for the chorus with a triumphant "Dem Ewigen sei Preis und Dank! Ihm schalle unser Lobgesang!"
"Gladly." He put the sheet music for the Vampyr aside into his folio and picked out those for the Undine.
"You start right away at Euch segne der," Viktor said. "Have you sang this one before?"
"Not yet, no." Yuuri glanced at his sheet music. "I got the lyrics memorised and the melody seems pretty simple."
"Church-y," Viktor added.
"Yes, sounds about right. Would you play it to me so I get an idea?"
Viktor laughed and started to play. The melody was indeed quite church-y, a somewhat monotonous choral with only few rises.
Yuuri listened intently.
Viktor repeated the melody one more time. "Give it a go?"
Yuuri nodded and when Viktor started playing, this time he fell in. "Euch segne der, der einzig segnen kann, mit bestem Segen heut' und immerdar und führe froh hinaus, was froh begann! Nun küsst euch beid, ihr seid ein bräutlich Paar!"
"Hm." Viktor made a bit of a face. "More dignity, please. Steadier singing, you scooped a bit at the beginning of your lines. Again."
Yuuri repeated the phrase, this time mindful to keep his voice steady and even.
"Better. More joyous gravitas."
Whatever that was, Yuuri did his best to deliver.
Viktor wasn't content, though, and had him repeat the damn phrase over and over again.
"No complaining, I'm much kinder than Yakov is with soloists. But that was better. One last time, then we move on to your parts in the sextet. We will rehearse only your part until you're secure and can sing it in combination with the others."
Yuuri was not sure whether he was supposed to look forward to that. Again Viktor played the melody on his violin two times for Yuuri to memorize before he sang, this time longer and signaling him which parts were his to sing.
"Think you can do it if I take some of the other parts?" he then asked.
"I think, yes." Yuuri frowned. "Why is Heilmann a baritone anyways? His general role as a priest would suggest a bass, right, being elderly and wise and of authority. And the sheet music looks like bass too, but you play it all three keys higher, so we can practise it in baritone."
"Yes, it is a bass role," Viktor admitted, "but Yakov likes to switch things up from time to time. Especially when there are not too many bass singers to go around. And back then when he did it first, he thought it a nice idea that both emotional cornerstones for Undine would be baritones, especially since they're friends, and her authority figures would be bass."
Yuuri nodded.
"He also wanted to stage Lortzing's Undine and arrange it so that Heilmann and the Fisherman would be one person – a protestant pastor. Another bass less to get your hands on. Never came to pass though. Which I still regret, he had joked that I would sing the Undine in that production."
Imagining a young Viktor in this role was far easier than it probably should have been, but his pale hair and the way his voice carried the words made him a rather convincing water sprite. Add to this a youthful, boyish soprano and the picture was perfect.
"I would probably pay money to work on that too with you," he sighed. "Preferably not in the role who abandons and betrays you though."
Viktor looked at him as if he had been slapped and kissed at the same time. It was a nice look on him, Yuuri decided. A very nice look, indeed. Hopefully he would get to see it a bit more often.
He recovered quickly though, smiling again. "That's the spirit. Shall we continue?"
Yuuri nodded. "Oh, yes."
Viktor took up his violin again and started to play a lead-in.
"Halt and Lieb' und Treue fest du liebend Paar." Yuuri made sure that his voice was firm this time. No scooping. "Macht ja Lieb und Treue alles Hoffen wahr."
"Menschenvolk närrisches!" Viktor thundered suddenly in the role of the mighty (and not at all human-liking) water spirit Kühleborn, "Trügerisches, herrisches Tolles Geschlecht! Freust dich wohl recht!"
"Wehe, was wanket, was rauschet am Fenster!", Yuuri exclaimed and hinted at making a cross for good measure. "Weichet von hinnen, ihr nächtgen Gespenster!" These four lines were sung by Heilmann, Undine, Huldbrandt and Undine's parents, leading to another short solo for Heilmann. Exhaustion, Yuuri recalled, he had to convey exhaustion and residue terror. "Führt mich zur Lagerstätte, mich schwindelt's hier und grausts."
"Euch ziemt die beste Stätte solang ihr bei uns haust!" Viktor sang the part of the fisherman and his wife, to switch back to Kühleborns "Tolles Geschlecht, freust dich wohl recht?"
He then fiddled a short melody that was a duet between Undine and her new husband.
Yuuri listened intently until Viktor gave him a nod.
"Hin fließt euer Leben nun in Lieb und Treu," he went on, his voice positively melting, "Freudig höh'res Leben glüht euch süß und neu."
He listened after the last note and watched as Viktor nodded. "Yes, you will make a very good Heilmann. You were still scooping at Führt mich zur Lagerstätte, though, let's work on that."
No break then.
Heilmann wasn't a role with too any long parts, which was probably why Mr. Feltsmann wanted it to go to someone new. It was a perfect piece for a new soloist to try himself and find his footing.
"Told you I would enjoy tutoring you," Viktor smiled, just as Yuuri had to call quits for today. His throat started to feel quite dry. "Some tea?"
"Oh yes, please." He sat and watched as Viktor busied himself with a kettle over the fire.
Today's attire consisted of a purple toga over a black shirt and again loose, striped trousers. These seemed to be a favourite of his, for whatever reason.
His long hair was pinned up with a brass clasp, only leaving some strands free to fall over the left side of his face as he spooned some herbs in a plain blue teapot.
"Say," he asked as the water in the kettle came to a boil, "can I ask you a favor?"
"Sure." Yuuri, about to grab two mugs from the cabinet, paused for a moment. "That is, ask and I shall see what I can do."
"Thank you." Viktor carefully carried the kettle to the table and poured the steaming water into the pot.
Yuuri let the scent of chamomile and lavender wash over his face.
"You talk to Yuri sometimes, right?"
"Occasionally," Yuuri admitted. "Sometimes he even manages not to try and stab me with his stare."
"I knew it. He likes you, great. He could do with some socialising."
Yuuri suspected that Plisetsky thought quite different about that matter but he was careful not to comment on it.
"Which of course means that I do hope you like him as well."
"He can be quite nice in his own way," Yuuri chuckled. "What about him?"
"I'm worried." Viktor poured them their tea. "You know there was some trouble a few months back, right?"
"In March?" Yuuri nodded. "Yes. What was it about?"
"Politics, mostly. People want a democracy, getting rid of the king, people want a unified Germany, preferably without too much monarchy, people want a unified Germany under a monarchy. There was a lot going on but that were the main factors. The uprisings were dealt with quite brutally, I guess. Down here it's not so easy to get a clear picture."
"Well, if some important officials had to flee it had to be bad," Yuuri commented.
"Wagner?" Viktor spat that name out. "Yes and good riddance." He sighed. "Thing is, Yuri got rather invested. Enthusiastic even. Yakov could keep him from getting involved, but…" He shrugged. "And just because they failed once that doesn't mean they're off and out and…"
"You want me to have an eye on him?" Yuuri raised an eyebrow. "That would require him to actively enjoy my company."
"Well, he does. And once you worked together on the Undine you will have an easier time talking to him."
"Why don't you talk to him yourself?" Yuuri asked. "Unlike me you are not almost completely a stranger. He might listen to you."
Viktor laughed. "Doubtful. He doesn't listen to people who punch his idols."
"Mr. Wagner?"
Viktor took a sip of tea, a smile of grim pride on his lips. "The very same."
"Ah, yes, he mentioned something like that." Yuuri took a close look at him. "You don't strike me the violent type, though."
"My, my, I hope so." Viktor sighed. "He made me angry."
Yuuri would have liked to know how that could have happened. Maybe he should ask. Or maybe not, maybe this was none of his business.
"He said something disgusting about Yuri."
Well, apparently sometimes he didn't have to ask if the person he was talking to needed to get something off his chest.
"What was it?"
Viktor bit his lip. "That he should try and get a patron by virtue of his face, since his voice was unlikely to do the trick." His face twitched and twisted in what was still very strong anger.
"Oh."
"Yuri was twelve back then."
Yuuri's stomach sank. For a moment the tea tasted rather much like bile. "Well, not that I am advocating rash and violent action," he mumbled, "but relatable. You ever told Plisetsky about it?"
"I tried. He claimed I was jealous of that old fart. Again, he was twelve. Not exactly a rational age." Viktor made a face. "Wagner got off lightly. After my punch he grabbed a bottle and hit me over the head with it. Of course I was to blame since I started it." He brushed his hair back, allowing Yuuri to take a close look.
The left side of his brow was covered in a net of angry, raised lines that varied from an aggressive red to a sick, almost grey blue-purple that cut into the arched line of Viktor's eyebrow.
The eye beneath it was of the same watery blue as the left one, but Yuuri noticed that it had no focus.
"Really doesn't look good," he agreed.
He lifted his hand, and Viktor didn't react at first, but he flinched away under his fingertips.
"Oh." Yuuri curled his fingers into a loose fist. "Sorry."
"You surprised me." Still, Viktor was very quick to shake his hair back into place and then turned this side away from him. "I didn't see you coming from the left."
"You're blind there."
"Yes." Viktor's fingers softly tapped on the desk. "Bad fall after the bottle."
Yuuri should not have reached out. "Sorry," he repeated and Viktor shrugged in a display of nonchalance.
Yuuri watched him, the tension in his shoulders, the way his fingers twitched, the anxious line around his mouth.
"Say…" he said slowly, still looking for the proper words, "this isn't the reason you're down here, right?"
It would have been rather extreme, but considering what he had seen and learned of Viktor so far this wasn't exactly something he would have put above him.
"Oh please, really?"
"Well, you combed your hair over it."
"It doesn't look pretty, admittedly. Didn't heal up too well. But Yuuri, please."
"Alright." Yuuri sighed. "The colouring is unhealthy, you should take care for it to properly finish healing up. Does it itch?"
"Sometimes."
"It might get better when it heals up and fades a bit. Other than that..." Yuuri considered him. "It looks quite daring. Goes well with your trousers."
Viktor blinked at him and then laughed. "Well, that's one way of putting it. But again, if you're wondering, I do not live down here because I think my partially scarred and still very recognizable and otherwise handsome face is too hideous for the world to see."
"If you ever claim that I personally drag you to the next mirror and have you take a look at yourself," Yuuri declared and in the next moment cursed his mouth.
Viktor ran a hand through his hair and then let it fall back over his eye, covering the scars completely. "Please, do in that case. Yuri likes to claim that my sense of reality can be a bit messy when it suits me. No idea what he means with that."
"I will." Yuuri took a sip of his tea. "So, you sang Huldbrandt once?"
"Yes. Was one of my first solo roles and the poor woman who played Undine had to carry me through this." He laughed. "I was so nervous, half of the time I forgot my cues and she had to stomp on my foot and hiss them to me. Yakov was ready to kill me when we had the last dress rehearsal."
Yuuri chuckled. "Well, he seems to be constantly ready to rip someone's lungs out for not holding a tune." He flexed his fingers. "Let's just hope this won't happen to me."
"I'm sure it won't." Viktor's hand moved over the table and came to rest next to Yuuri's. "And even if it does, it's not the end of the world. You are never alone on stage. There are people relying on you and there are people you can rely on."
"A comforting concept," Yuuri confessed, "And a bit hard to grasp for me." He curled his fingers and then spread them again. "I might need an occasional reminder of the fact."
Now Viktor's fingers leaned against his, radiating warmth against his skin. "I think I can take care of that."
The opening night for the Wildschütz came and with it yet another day of rain (unfortunate since they all were under orders to come in their best clothes) and a flare-up of nerves all around that made Yuuri glad that apparently opening night meant that there was no rehearsal earlier on the day. Rehearsal would not have done any of them any good.
Yuuri arrived a bit late, having shared an umbrella with Georgi, and was in a hurry to get into costume before Mr. Feltsman could yell at him.
There was no sign of Viktor and Yuuri had no time looking or waiting for him as he hurried to the backstage area and it was slightly unnerving.
The scenery he came upon did not much to calm his nerves.
Sara Crispino temporarily had transformed from a graceful swan to a headless duck, muttering while bustling herself all over the place. Mila Babitch had retreated into a dark corner, babbling her lines, and the singers for the Count and the Baron where nowhere to be found, causing Mr. Feltsman to stomp all over the place, cursing and cussing about freelance singers and their unreliability.
The ballet dancers were scattered all over the place, stretching, warming up, fixing some last detail on their costumes and covering their own fluttering nerves with increasingly unconvincing shows of haughtiness.
Their Baculus, Johannes Erhardt, appeared to be a lone rock of calm and reason, trying his best to calm The Crispino (and got snapped at for his efforts) and assist The Babitch with her lines (who almost broke down in tears).
Finally, when the much detested freelance singers came strolling in (utterly unimpressed by Mr. Feltsman) and disappeared in their designated dressing rooms, Mr. Feltsman calmed down and turned to them. "You all! Next week we will hold try-out for Hoffmann's Undine." His accent was even thicker than usual. He must be really annoyed. "Not many roles. Both baritone. If you want part, partake." He glared around and Yuuri felt with unease how his gaze lingered very long on him.
"Better you than any not in house!" Mr. Feltsman continued and then took a deep breath. When he continued, his accent had stabilized and was back to its regular level. "You all are not bad. You are good enough for here and most of you can do a lot better."
"Must really hate them," Johannes muttered and Andreas and Thomas chuckled in agreement.
Mr. Feltsman shot them a sharp look and they fell silent again. "Anyways," he continued, "You lot go out and do what you're here for! Give them a good night!" He looked around and then knocked three times against the next wooden beam. "Break a leg."
With that they were dismissed to take their positions, the last chance for a drink or some final deep breath. Yuuri took the chance to tell himself that he would be alright. He was not alone on stage. He was in the chorus. He was not alone. And even if he had no chance to talk to Viktor, he knew that he would be listening from somewhere. But still, talking to him would have eased his mind significantly.
Andreas nudged Yuuri with his elbow. "Oh, look who's come to wish us good luck."
Looking up Yuuri saw Plisetsky leaning against a post, glaring at him.
"We're truly blessed, huh?" he commented.
"Oi, Katsuki!"
"And you are the most blessed of us all, it seems," Johannes commented.
"Apparently. Better I go and receive my blessings then. I'll be back in a minute." He waved and then hurried over to Plisetsky.
"You're not performing tonight, are you?"
"Hell, no." Plisetsky shrugged. "Viktor's here. You haven't had a chance to talk today, right?"
"I came in a bit late, yes." Yuuri scratched his neck. "Sorry."
"Eh. Come now, hurry." He waved and Yuuri followed him down a corridor.
The bustle of a performance was already centred to the backstage area and the ceiling; here it was quiet.
Viktor stood in a shadowed nook, waiting for them and pressing deeper into the shadow at first, before he recognized them and came back out. "There you are."
Yuuri took his hand. "Sorry. I was late and I had no idea where you might be and..."
Viktor pulled him closer to him. "Nervous?" he asked, a smile in his voice.
"A bit, yes. Opening night and all." Yet Yuuri's nerves had stopped fluttering. "I think I am all right, though."
"Glad to hear that." Viktor's fingers smoothed over the back of Yuuri's hand. "Turn around?"
Yuuri did and felt Viktor's hand on his shoulders. The touch was accompanied by some tongue-clucking. "Really, I'm serious about the corset." With that he pulled Yuuri's shoulders back up and then wrapped his arms around him for a hug.
Yuuri chuckled, leaning his brow against Viktor's cheek. "I believe you when you whip one out and lace me up."
"Blergh," Plisetsky commented. "I think you should get back now and warm up, by the way, before I need to vomit."
"Are you listening to the performance too?"
Plisetsky shrugged. "Well, someone has to keep this idiot company and it's not like I got anything better to do anyways."
Viktor let go of him, hands slowly, reluctantly gliding away from Yuuri's arms. "He's right, though, you should go. Break a leg."
"Thank you." Yuuri took a deep breath. "I'll be off then."
"Yeah, break a leg," Plisetsky muttered as Yuuri rushed back to the chorus.
He was met by some curious glances, but given the fact that they all had to start warming up now, he was spared some awkward questions.
"Position!" Mr. Feltsman finally hissed. "All of you!"
The ballet girls ushered on to their position, each pairing up with a chorus singer.
Yuuri nodded a greeting to his dance partner and she shot him a nervous, haughty-facade-cracking smile. "Step on my feet."
"Break a leg," he answered.
It would be alright.
The curtain rose.
The music swelled.
And the show started.
