Oh, how Thorin wishes he hadn't dismissed the jokes others were making about Kili's crush. How he wishes he had given his nephew a good beating to help him put his priorities right. But he hadn't and now an elf walks among them, all friendly with Fili, Oin and Bofur and showing Kili rather too much affection. Wicked liar! Like an elf could ever like a dwarf!
Thorin can admit that she acts convincingly but he knows elves well: they are rotten from head to toe and cannot love anything but gold. The elven wench is with Kili because he is the youngest and the most naïve and can't tell that she is lying. But Thorin can. Thorin knows she is after Kili because she is after the treasure. Thorin knows and he won't let his nephew be fooled like that. He won't let her take a single coin.
He doesn't chase her away. No, he understands well that if he does it will only drive her and Kili closer. Kili would most likely pick a fight with him, sever their ties and depart with the elven rascal. Thorin Oakenshield would not do his sister-son such a disservice. Kili just needs a little time and a little persuasion. He will see the elf's true colours eventually.
So Thorin lets her stay and even orders the dwarves to make her comfortable. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, they say. Thorin, in spite of his temper, is no stranger to this strategy.
He tries to ascertain Kili's intentions towards the lass. Perhaps it's just a game, a conquest to make and once his nephew's vanity is satisfied he will walk away and there, problem solved and Dis doesn't need to know.
But no, life cannot be kind to Thorin Oakenshield, life cannot be simple. The greedy humans demand to share the gold, the wretched elves of Mirkwood are at his door whining about damages and some necklace, some of the dwarves – Fili amongs them – have the audacity to whisper quietly that maybe the gold should be shared and stupid Kili intends to marry the elf wench!
Marry the elf! Huh? This is unheard of! What happened to his sister-son?
"You are an heir of Durin the Deathless," Thorin reminds him, steel in his voice. "You cannot shame yourself with such alliance!"
But he is met with an equal amount of metal in Kili's response. "There's no shame in marrying the one you love," says his donkey of a nephew. "And I love her. You cannot make me unlove her."
Such insolence!
"Quiet! You know nothing of love you are so foolishly speaking of! I can curse your union. I can disown you. Make you an outcast in both Erebor and the Blue Mountains. Then you won't love her for long."
Thorin says "love" like one says "trolls".
The brat glares at him.
Oh, if only stares could kill…
"You can bed her, I will say nothing of that if you promise to keep it quiet," King under the Mountain concedes unwillingly.
For the few seconds it takes Kili to process the idea Thorin thinks he has offered a good solution. Then he finds out in words not so polite that he has been gravely mistaken.
Kili's speech is long and King beneath the Mountain somewhat drifts away in the middle of it but the ending is rather memorable.
"… this is not what have taught me and Fili! I will do honourably by myself even if I have to go against all of Durin's folk!" Kili concludes, cold rage evident in his voice. "Honestly, uncle! I know you hate elves but I do not recognise you! When did you lose your honour?"
Thorin coughs at these words, having swallowed wrongly.
He lost honour? He lost no honour, the brat has no idea what he is talking about, he is under the wicked charms of the elven witch. Thorin will find how to deal with him.
"Out of my sight!" he says through his teeth. "Make yourself scarce before I do something I regret."
The army which besieges Erebor does not make Thorin any more agreeable. These humans and elves have the audacity to light fires and make hot meals and sing songs while he wanders the mountain halls, sleepless, checking if the doors which have been sealed off by Smaug remain impassable. His men are tired and food is scarce. The dwarves grumble and complain and offer to be friends with the other races. Next thing they will all want to marry humans or elves and kiss Thranduil's feet!
Besides, he still hasn't found Arkenstone and he's been searching a lot.
Thorin doesn't want to think about the possibility of someone else finding it first. The dwarves promised to hand the jewel to him, but can they be trusted? The Arkenstone shines so bright, it is so prescious… It might be too much of a temptation for anyone but Thorin…
What if someone found it? Stole it? Are dwarves of his Company really as loyal as they claim? What about the burglar? Burglars are not known for their honesty and integrity… What about that elven wench? Does she really spend most of her time with Kili, like everyone claims? What are they doing under the covers? More importantly, what is she doing after they are done under the covers and his sister-son is tired and falls asleep? Elves don't need rest, elves don't need sleep. The redheaded devil probably lurks in the dark of the grand halls, looking for the one thing Thorin values over anything and anyone.
He needs to search them all at some point. Just to make sure.
Thorin has been planning on speaking with the elf wench but there are surprisingly few opportunities to get her alone. She is always with someone – talking, laughing, helping. Pretending like she can be trusted. Trying to ingratiate herself.
She confronts Thorin first.
"Whatever you got into your head, I am not here for your gold," she says calmly, her arms crossed under her chest, her back firm against the wall. "Neither am I here to spy on you. I followed your nephew, is all."
"You are here for my nephew?" Thorin hisses. "Saving him again and again, leaving your people to be with him… What a cute little story it would be if I didn't know why you were after Kili. I couldn't see it before but now I know. You won't be satisfied with just gold and gems. You want to rule, elf. You want to be Queen under the Mountain!"
Her eyes burn with rage and Thorin knows he is right.
"You want to be powerful," he continues, walking in half-circles around the elf lass. "You want to be rich. You want to command dwarves!" Thorin spits out. "That's why you are wrapping Kili around your filthy finger. He is an easy target, isn't he? You have him under your spell but I see through you, Tauriel of Mirkwood, ward of Thranduil! You can never have his throne so you came to take mine! I will not let you. I would rather kill you," Thorin warns her. "You are tempting my patience. Leave before I act upon it."
The elf doesn't seem to be scared.
"You are mad", she says. "Mad with dragon sickness. Thranduil knew it would happen. It is corrupting you from inside."
Thorin doesn't quite know what happens next but his dagger hits the wall right behind where she stood just a moment ago. The elf herself is a good seven feet away, in a fighting stance, her daggers bare. She glares at him.
This is not good.
"Do it again and I will show you that my daggers can fly, too," she warns in a low, dangerous voice.
Thorin orders her to leave. Somehow dismissing people has become his only way of dealing with issues.
The elven rascal exist the room never turning her back on him, like one moves away from a rabid dog.
That's right, she should be scared. Thorin will destroy her if she doesn't leave Kili alone.
Thorin's people are going mad.
Balin tries to reason with him. Talks about honour and helping neighbours. Senile fool! Where are those neighbours when you need them? Where was Thranduil sixty years ago? What help came from the humans?
"No need to shout in my face," the old dwarf says, "I can hear you perfectly well."
Blood rushes to Thorin's head. "Out!" he hisses, baring his teeth. "Out, old fool!"
Dwalin goes on and on about food. "Just imagine the smoked meat, the roasted potatoes, the wine… Oh, Thorin, the wine! Give them a bit of gold, we have more than enough here, no one will miss a few chests…"
"Out!"
"We should really try make some friends," says Fili. "I'm not complaining but it's just fifteen of us here and we are up against the world. Feels sort of lonely."
"Fifteen of us?"
"Aye, with Tauriel."
"With Tauriel," Thorin repeats, pure malice in his voice. "You call her Tauriel?"
His eldest nephew knows when to back down. "Fine, fine, uncle, fourteen of us here. But that's even lonelier in my opinion. I know it's called the Lonely Mountain but…"
Thorin doesn't care for a lesson in toponymy.
"Out."
"But why?"
"Out!"
The burglar tries to appeal to his kingly side.
"They used to call Thorin Oakenshield a good leader," he says. "A wise leader. A leader who doesn't run from the right choices."
"I made the right choices."
"Yes, but maybe… just maybe…" there is hope in the hobbit's eyes, "there might be choices which are even more… right?"
Thorin folds his arms on his chest.
"Out, out, I know," the burglar mutters sadly. "I was just on my way."
Kili comes to talk to him last.
"Listen, uncle…"
Thorin bangs his mighty fist on the makeshift table. "I do not wish to discuss your elf! That conversation is over!"
"And I," says Kili, "was not going to discuss Tauriel with you. We are indeed done on the subject. I came to talk about the people of Laketown and their rightful claims."
Rightful claims? Surely he means their arrogant, unfounded demands? Thorin erupts in an impressive blast of first-class dirty dwarven curses. Some of them are quite old and make his nephew blush. "I will not share with these rats!" he tells Kili once he is done swearing.
"But you promised them you would share! And they gave us food and arms and a place to stay in return," the young dwarf reminds him.
Kind under the Mountain snorts in disdain. "Such a sacrifice on their part!"
"It may not have been much and they might not have given us an army," Kili agrees, "but you have made a promise. And even if you hadn't made one it would be honourable to send them some of the gold before we share it out."
"And why is that?"
"Because," his nephew explains, "you brought Smaug upon them and thus destroyed everything these people had. I was there and I have seen the magnitude of destruction. There's no Laketown, not anymore. Their home is gone. For Mahal's sake, uncle, did you not think this would happen?"
Thorin leaps onto the makeshift table and grabs Kili by the collar.
"Stop repeating the foul words your elf told you!"
The young dwarf looks very offended at that.
"I am not repeating anyone's words!" he hisses. "I don't need another being to tell me what's right and what's wrong! Breaking your promise is wrong! Being without a heart is even worse!"
King under the Mountain relaxes his grip but he will not back down any more than that. "I will not share a dime," he growls.
"Give them my share!" Kili offers, desperate for some sort of resolution.
"No way," Thorin sneers. "Come to think of it, you do not deserve your share if you are just going to give it away. Strictly speaking you weren't even here when we reclaimed Erebor."
"I was dying from a poisoned arrow!" the nephew reminds him, hurt and disbelief in his eyes. "The one I got to my thigh when I was making way for all of us to escape Mirkwood!"
"And for that I thank you, but your transgressions make you unworthy of your share. But maybe if you are a good boy and stop talking that nonsense about helping those filthy traitors and get rid of your elf you can be back into my good books," King under the Mountain offers. "Then I will rethink."
Kili stays silent for a long minute and Thorin wonders if he's got through.
"This is it!" Kili bursts out. "You think I care about the treasure? I don't! I came on this quest because it was an honorable thing to do! But you've changed, Thorin Oakenshield! You bring fire and destruction upon people and then you deny them help! There's no honor in that. You are no better than the King of elves that you told us of when me and Fili were kids! I will not be taking my share of gold, you can go choke on it!"
"Where do you think you are going?" Thorin inquires through his teeth as the brat begins to walk towards the door.
"Away," and Kili can't help but clarify. "From you and all your madness."
"To do what?" Thorin snarls. "Run away with your elf, live in shame, sire some half-bloods and desecrate your ancestry?"
He expects Kili to explode but the undeserving sister-son merely turns around. "You know, Bard and the elven King are outside. And I heard they have an offer you can't refuse."
King under the Mountain glares at him, unsure of what is going on.
"You'll find out soon enough," says the traitor. His grin is absolutely evil. "Have fun bargaining."
Author's notes:
Oh, Thorin, you break my heart. Why did you make me write you out like this? I blame progressing dragon sickness…
On the other hand, I reckoned it was time for Kili to stand up for the things he believes in such as helping the people of Laketown and being with Tauriel. Standing up to Thorin certainly is not an easy thing.
In my head-canon Tauriel also has a fair bit of standing up to do. I don't think she'd be the kind of person to hide behind Kili's back, so yes, if she has a problem, she says so. Naturally, your views may vary.
PS What do Bard and Thranduil have? They have the Arkenstone which Bilbo so kindly gave them.
Hoe you guys have enjoyed. Thank you for all the words of encouragement!
