Author's Note: I've been playing Mario games since he was "Jumpman" in Donkey Kong, so there's a lot of info from the games, books, toys, and anything else Nintendo makes with him. I understand the Super Mario Movie and cartoons are not canon, but I do use some of the cartoon lore in here for filler info. Also, according to Shigeru Miyamoto, Mario's creator, Mario is 5'1'' and 25 years old, such info I have used to make more sense of less profiled characters. So knowing this, please don't freak out about certain characters being so-so feet tall and so-so years old. I mean, if that stuff freaks you out then, spoiler alert, Mario is not a plumber anymore and I will make note of it in the story. Timeline wise, I'm placing this before the Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle, Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions, Super Mario Odyssey, and Mario Party: The Top 100 games, those I have yet to properly think of ways to intergrade into this story, plus most of those games haven't even been released yet. But enough of me rambling, you want to lose yourself in a story, so here it is. Enjoy. ^_^


The next day started off rather rocky. Bowser was cold and distant, rarely speaking or looking from his plate. Jr., on the other hand, he's all happy and talking my ears off with ideas or questions. I do what I can to keep the boy distracted so as to not pester his father who seems to be lost in his own thoughts. I haven't mentioned the incident with Morton to either of them, only Larry, Lemmy, and Kammy know as I'd rather not cause any unnecessary craziness. But despite the random tension, nothing bad happens.

Until noon that is.

"Mama, can we go play now? This is sooooo boring."

"I know sweetie. I don't want to be here any more than you do. But I have no choice. I must...Ow!"

"I did tell you to hold still, miss. Keep this up and you're going to end up a pincushion."

"*groan* This is why I hate dresses! Too much dumb junk! Ow!"

"I'm not wasting any more time telling you again."

"Hey! Stop hurting my Mama!"

The tailor just sighs.

"I'm not trying to, my Prince. But just so you know, this could go on for another hour or two."

Jr. and I both groan in loud annoyance much to the tailor's chagrin.

"Why not go entertain yourself while I work on your *cough* 'mama'? Surely you can think of something to keep yourself busy. Got any homework, chores, hobbies, anything at all you could do?"

"No! I'm staying here with Mama. Things happen to Mama when I'm not around. I'm staying!"

"Sweetie it's fine. I'm literally going nowhere. Go have fun or get a jump start on your history paper. Oh! How about spending time with Iggy and build something cool?"

This has his eyes gleam with promise.

"Well...I do have this cool idea for a battle suit."

"*scoff* That sounds..."

"That sounds awesome! You gotta do it. Just think of the epicness. It will be glorious!"

The boy gets all hyped up.

"Yeah! Papa will be so impressed. Thanks, Mama!"

"Anytime sweetie."

Jr. runs off soon after.

"Heh...Now I get why he calls you his mom."

"Huh?"

"You mother the boy. He isn't even yours and you treat him like he is. ...He's not really your kid, right?"

"*giggles* No, that sweet boy sadly isn't mine. Though if he was, I would've had to be knocked up in my teens and that would be super awkward."

"Well...Thank you for doing so anyway."

"It's not a big deal. He's nice and I've been tasked with taking care of him. I'm just doing my job."

"Don't lie. You may think that, but you know you're doing things for him because you care."

"Of course I care! Who wouldn't care for that boy?"

"His mother for one."

The atmosphere in the room becomes a dark chill.

"I've never asked about her. I feel it's not my place to question something like that. I'm just an outsider."

"That's very respectful of you, miss. Not a lot of us here recall her, and per the King's orders, all trace of her has been locked away from the public. I doubt even her very existence is known to the Mushroom Kingdom."

"No, it's not. I've spent untold hours buried deep in all manner of tomes within Peach's realm, but never is there any mention of a Queen Koopa."

"And it's likely you'll never hear about her."

"Why?"

"Would you like to be reminded of the person that broke your heart and left behind a child after trying for one for so long?"

Ow, that hurts.

"To be fair, the pair were too young to be trying for a family. But dumb lovesick kids do stupid things like that when they think they know better. They should've stopped after the first clutch was all duds. Would've saved everyone the heartache. But they kept trying. You know how it is, right? Believing love and hope will make miracles happen."

"...Yeah?"

This sounds like it's only going to hurt worse.

"Yet clutch after clutch, none of their eggs would hatch. And each time they didn't, the more depressed she became. He tried to make her happy. He adopted the Koopalings, to give her the children they've been trying so hard for, but it didn't help. She blamed herself at first. Then she started blaming him. By the time he took in the Koopalings, she had laid one final clutch and then left unable to go through any more pain. But what she didn't know is, one of the eggs would end up hatching. Thus, the young Prince came to be."

That really hurts.

"Yep. Took a long time for the King to get over her. Mostly because he had the Koopalings and the Prince to fill the void in his heart. But the real victim is the young lord. Sure, he's had his father all his life, but that's not going to fix the ever 'what is missing' feeling the boy has."

That hurts more.

"The kid's been such a lonely boy. I can only imagine how hard it is for the King to keep his mouth shut about anything mother related."

"Jr. must have made him crack a little, I know he's really good at it. Once he gives you the sad puppy eyes, you're at his mercy. That's probably why he attacked Isle Delfino to get Peach. Bowser told him Peach was his mom. But he knew Bowser fibbed, so...Why go along with the lie then?"

"Why not? The King has been after her for years, he constantly speaks fondly of her, and she's the only woman technically in his dad's life. Why not try to get her to not only be his mom but also to please his dad?"

The hurt is strong in the undead Koopa's words and it's getting harder not to show the pain my heart feels.

"Hey now, what's with that look?"

"For all the written accounts and countless stories Peach has made available to the public, nothing has painted such a picture as you have sir. It saddens me how the politics of the realms work to make themselves appear greater by ignoring the other side's details."

"Indeed. There are always three sides to every story. The two on each opposite side and the third person on the outside looking in."

"...The hero to some is the villain to others."

"So true. You are a very intellectual girl, you know that?"

"I'm a geek, I know. And I'm proud of it."

"And she's my girl~."

The sound of Roy surprises us. Were we really so lost in conversation that we didn't notice him enter the room and take a seat? How long has he been here and watching? How much did he hear?

"Hey, there tough guy. You been here long?"

"Not long, but long enough, sweetheart."

"Uh...Are you two a thing?"

"Oh yeah~."

"I was asking the girl. Miss?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny anything. Roy is one of my many friends since being here. Yet I have not been around long enough to really know if I have developed feelings of that magnitude."

"Ah, I see. The boy is jumping the gun as they say."

"I am not! She is so into me. She just doesn't know it yet."

"So cute. I'd request a hug, but I am not able to move while he is working on me."

Roy smirks with a chuckle.

"Ya think that'll stop me from getting some sugar from my sweetheart~?"

"If you don't want her to end up all full of holes, I suggest you not."

That keeps Roy in his seat.

"Thank you."

"Whatever. *shifts a little*...You look good, sugar."

Is he...blushing?

"Thank you, dear."

Great...Now I'm blushing. I'm such a hapless dork.

"Ah, young love. Makes these old bones feel alive again."

"Shut it old man."

The Dry Bones tailor just chuckles as he continues his stitching.

"So, sugar...How were those chocolates? Great, right?"

"Actually, I didn't get to try them. Jr. ate them all."

"What?! That little twerp!"

"It's fine dear. Sweets come and go, but the sentiment lasts forever."

"The both of you are adorable."

"Oh shove it up your shell."

That makes the bundle of bones cringe.

"Fine, I'll stop. But I have one last question."

"What is it?"

"If the two of you are working on being a couple..."

"I never said that!"

"You can run, you can hide, but you can't escape this love, sweetheart~."

"As I was saying...If 'this' is a thing, then why are you going out with the King?"

The room chills where Roy sits.

"I am not going as Bowser's date. I am going as his aid in his plan to get Peach."

"Care to explain miss?"

"I am going to distract male attention off Peach, while at the same time, gaining female attention in a possibly negative way. All of which is to take the focus off Bowser so that he can better woo the Princess without trouble."

Add this to the list of things I never thought I'd say or do.

"Hmmm...I guess that makes sense. Rather clever really."

"That's what I think too. Though I don't know if I can effectively play such a role."

"Don't put yourself down like that, sweetness. If anyone can get people to stop lookin' at Peach, it's you."

"What if I say something I shouldn't? I don't want to ruin things for Bowser all because I couldn't stop myself from making some offhanded comment about her."

"Just keep that in mind then. When in doubt, look over to the King and remember that you want to see him happy. You do want to see him happy, don't you?"

"I do."

"Then you'll have no problem."

"Though try not to do too good a job, okay sugar? I don't need the old man putting moves on you too."

I can't help but laugh.

"Please, he's a flirt, but his heart is true. Bowser is a one girl kind of guy. He's not the kind to suddenly have a harem. Besides...He doesn't seem to really care for me."

This gets their attention.

"What do you mean?"

"Once this month is over or Peach is in his possession, I am to leave this Kingdom as my debt to Bowser will be repaid or..."

"What?!"

Roy is seeing red.

"Dear, calm down."

"No! This ain't right!"

If this keeps up he's going to blow up like Morton did. I must defuse him before that happens. As Roy begins to fume, I break away from the tailor who lets me go and approach Roy before hugging him much to his surprise.

"S-Sugar?"

"Please, Roy...I need you to settle down."

It takes a few moments before I feel his arms slowly hold me around my waist.

"Thank you...You're too good for me, sweetness."

"You're the one that's too good for me, dear."

He nuzzles up under my chin and I giggle when his fangs tickle my neck.

"You're so sweet to me, sugar. Let me make it up to ya. When you're done with this girly junk, how about I take ya out someplace nice. That sound okay?"

I'm touched.

"Awww...That's so kind of you. I'll have to check with a few things, but yeah. I'd like that very much. Where do you have in mind?"

"Ever heard of the Seaside Kingdom? I was thinkin' maybe chillin' at Bubblaine."

The name sounds familiar.

"The tourist hotspot?"

"Yep. I know it's not the Delfino islands, but at least it's plumber free if ya know what I mean. Hehehe."

"I think I saw it once on TV. 'Lose yourself in our crystal clear refreshing bubble waters. Just take a dip, and all your worries will float away with a pop'. Or something like that. The add was very cheesy."

"So, ya wanna do this? Just us, on a sunny beach, the cool salt air, and no one else."

He nuzzles slowly from my ear down to my slightly exposed shoulder, placing random kisses along the way. This has me blushing a great deal much to his delight.

"Busting out the fabled Koopa charm I see."

"Is it workin'?"

"I'd be lying if I said it wasn't. But like I said, I have to check if I'm able to go."

"Come on, sugar. You're a big girl. Do ya really need to ask permission from the old man?"

"I do."

"Why?"

"Because she's responsible."

Dry Bones tailor speaks.

"She's not as free as you. She can't just up and leave without letting the King know anything. Plus she's in charge of the Prince. If she leaves, the King will punish her for leaving his son."

Roy is displeased.

"This is some Bully mess!"

"Roy..."

"No. I'm sick of the old man and everyone else hoggin' ya."

"Roy."

"I just want to..."

The room is rendered silent by my way of calming Roy. My lips on his and he is stunned. I pull back after a second to reassure him all is going to be fine, but he claims my lips roughly and his hold on me is vice-like. Only when he feels satisfied does he stop and I'm as flustered as I've ever been in my life much to his smug pride.

"Um...F-Feeling better dear?"

"*chuckles* If your plan is to kiss me every time I get upset, ya better be ready for some long lastin' lip lockin', sugar~."

I blink a few times so as to restart my brain as he lets me go and nudges me back towards the dumbfounded tailor.

"Go on, sweetness. Get your dress done so we can ask the old man for some fun time~."

The Dry Bones and I share a confused look before he continues where he left off.

"Did he really just do that?"

"To be fair, miss, you did it first."

My cheeks are on fire!

"I did not...*whisper* I did not do it for the same reason as him. I was just trying to calm him down."

"Right..."

"*growls* Just shut up and do your job."

Not much else happens after that. Roy makes the occasional flirty remark, I humor him, the tailor works while making snide comments, I hit him and he breaks but he just reforms each time. Jr. and Iggy eventually come over, they take notice of Roy right away but he doesn't seem to care. Jr. is all excited about the ideas Iggy helped bring to life and that he wants to show them to me, especially the upgrades made to his Clown Car. Iggy is just as proud to boast of his creative abilities and I can understand why; he's not as strong as his elder siblings but his mind is amazing. And after what feels like hours of standing, the tailor finally says he's done and my part in the making of this annoying dress is over. I'm free! In a sense anyway.

"Mama! Come on, you have to see it!"

"Relax sweetie. I will."

"But you have to see it now!"

"Zip it, squirt! She's comin' with me."

"Boys..."

"She's my Mama! Mine! She comes with me!"

"She's my girlfriend! She's comin' with me!"

"Boys..."

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Boys!"

"They might be like that for awhile."

"*sigh* Okay Iggy. How about you come with me to see big boss Bowser."

Iggy is confused as I pick him up.

"Why are we going to see King Dad?"

"Because I have a few things to talk to him about and if I wait for them then we'll be here all day."

"...Good point."

He makes himself comfortable in my arms, resting his face in the crook of my neck, as I carry him away while the others bicker to themselves. Now my only issue is where to find the good King Koopa. Good thing the castle halls are never empty for very long and a passing Koopatrol provides possible aid. These warriors are the high-ranking guards of Bowser's Castle and most Koopa Troopas dream of becoming Koopatrols. They appear in physique similar to Koopa Troopas, but they wear intimidating spiky armor, including spiked helmets which protect them from being jumped on.

"Excuse me."

Automatically the guard stands at attention and salutes.

"Yes Ma'am, how may I be of assistance?"

While the ma'am thing makes me feel old, I do respect the manners this guy has.

"Could you be so kind as to inform me of Bowser's location? I wish to speak with him."

"The King at this time would most likely be in his study. If not there, he may be in the garden."

Garden? I did not expect that in such a place.

"Thank you kindly for the help good sir."

"Anytime Ma'am. Is there anything else you are in need of?"

"The young Prince and master Roy are quarreling just a few halls back. If you can, please make sure they don't escalate from that."

"Yes Ma'am."

He salutes again before taking his leave and devilish giggles get my attention.

"Something funny, Iggy dear?"

"Hehehe...You called Roy master."

"So?"

"I bet he'd like to hear that~."

I sigh and flick his tail, making him yelp in surprise.

"Don't read into things before you get all the information. I used 'master' as a title like Bowser is King and Jr. is Prince. I know not what title you Koopalings hold in the hierarchy of this monarchy. For sure, you're all nobles of some sort, but that's not really a title. Hmmm...You boys could be Dukes and Wendy a Duchess. As those are the titles that fall just under the lead royal's children."

"Huh...Makes sense to me. Now let's go find King Dad, Lynn. So orders I, Duke Iggy of clan Koopa."

"*giggles* As you wish, oh Duke of cuteness."

Iggy hides his blushing in my shoulder and I smile as we first head for Bowser's study. I at least know where this room is, doors to specific rooms are distinctive compared to basic doors, so it makes things easy.

"I've gotta hand it to him, Bowser's Castle is amazing! Such creative use of lava flows. Talk about your basic eerie atmosphere, huh? Ooooh...It makes me nervous and excited at the same time. *snickers*"

"Come on, it's not that bad."

"Bad? Look at the size of these stone Bowser faces? Or the covered hallways and statues? I can sum up the decorating in two words: pure Bowser. Such dark colors and ominous fire lighting. I freaking love it!"

"Heheh...Know what this reminds me of? A ghost story! This would make the perfect setting for a freaky ghost story! We could have Mario and Luigi play the scary parts. Remind me to do that sometime later."

"Will do, dear."

After a bit more chatter between us, we arrive at the door to Bowser's study, a room I've been to once before. I knock and expect a booming voice to reply, but there is only silence.

"Maybe knock louder? He could be sleeping."

"If he's sleeping I don't want to be rude."

"Okay...I will."

"What?"

Iggy twists around in my hold and repeatedly kicks the door. I panic and pull him away, fearing the backlash from such an annoying pounding. But yet again, we are met with no sound coming from the room.

"Huh...Guess he really isn't in there."

"Shall we check the garden then?"

"Sure. I'll lead the way."

"Of course you will. I don't know how to get out there."

I put him down and he holds my hand as he leads me to the enclosed outside. That's still something that puzzles me. Why would Bowser have a garden? Maybe it's for Peach. Girls like her like pretty flowers, so it makes sense he'd grow his own as opposed to buying them. Then again it's not like he's stingy with money, the guy has solid gold trains for goodness sake, money is no issue when it comes to something in his plans. He really is a mystery sometimes.

Hall after hall, we make it to a deceptively normal door, one I'd not give a second look to. But once he opens the door, my senses are stimulated to things they weren't expecting. There are trees, some normal and some with edibles, though a few seem to be dead/dying from the heat or little sunlight. The same can be said about the bushes and flowers, most have managed to survive but others have succumbed to the environment. Though there is native flora that frames these other plants, Piranha Plants.

Piranha Plants are large, triffid-like or Venus flytrap-like sentient plants. The Piranha Plant is most commonly a leafy green stalk topped with white-spotted red-heads, bisected by a white lip mouth with sharp teeth but can come in multiple other colors. Originally, Piranha Plants were found exclusively in pipes, either darting out and biting anything near or remaining still and spitting fireballs. Currently, Piranha Plants can be found both in and out of pipes, and their fire-breathing ability is rarely used. Despite being plants, Piranha Plants have been confirmed as being sentient and capable of speech on a few occasions, though unlike several other enemies of Mario, they have never been known for forming societies. Piranha Plant individuals such as Petey Piranha, Piranha Bean, and Dino Piranha, among others, reveal that some Piranha Plants can have animal-like bodies, making them capable of walking. Mom Piranha, Dino Piranha, and Peewee Piranha are all known for hatching from eggs, suggesting that Piranha Plants may be oviparous (animals that lay eggs, with little or no other embryonic development within the mother).

"Scared?"

Iggy's voice shakes me from my thoughts.

"Huh?"

"Are you scared of them?"

"No. Just lost in thought."

"Well anyway, they won't mess with you as long as you don't get too close."

"I know. Several live around my house. I like to feed them in exchange that they guard my home."

"Why do you need guarding? I thought you weren't royalty."

"I'm not. But that doesn't mean I'm not a target."

He tilts his head confused.

"What does that mean?"

I just smile at him.

"I'll tell you later..."

No, I won't. It's bad enough that Peach's propaganda hates on the Koopa race, I don't need to add my problems of human-hating Goombas to their plate of worries. My problems are my own, no one else's.

"For now, let's find Bowser. Okay?"

He nods and we follow the stone path. Such a mix this place is. Cold stone and hot lava. Dark environment and lighthearted souls. I must really do more research into this Kingdom and its people. I mean, Peach has claimed that Goombas, whose homeland is the Mushroom Kingdom, betrayed their homeland to side with the Koopas. But why? That doesn't make sense. What would be the reason for their treason? They shared the homeland with the Toads for ages. The two races lived in peace. However, at an unknown point in time, the Goombas betrayed their neighbors and joined the Koopa? Something isn't adding up here.

"Lynn?"

Wow, I am really getting lost in my head today.

"Yes, dear?"

He points off to a spot not too far away. There, we see the big bad King of the evil Koopas, sitting on a now flattened bed of flowers and gently petting a Chain Chomp that's bigger than me.

Chomps resemble a ball with chains and come in various sizes. They have big circular eyes, large gaping mouths, and razor-sharp teeth. Most also have a restraining tail-like chain, which is commonly tied to some sort of post to restrict their movement, while others roam free. These creatures are an extremely dark shade of purplish-blue or black with bright white eyes and teeth, though they have been known to be other colors, such as red, blue, yellow, and even gold. Chomps are usually not sapient compared to other enemies of Mario such as Goombas and Shy Guys; they can communicate, however, through dog-like barks. Behavior-wise, they act similar to guard dogs. Some items, such as the Chomp Whistle and Pocket Chomp, can be used to summon Chomps, displaying their traits of loyalty and obedience, similar to a dog. Chain Chomps have a tendency to be very light sleepers as the littlest disturbance is prone to wake them, which if that happens, you better run and never stop.

Such a scene...This creates conflict in my brain. Two different images of Bowser. One of the tyrannical power-hungry overlord and the other one which I've come to know, the loving father who cares for his family as well as his people. Just how messed up are the politics between the Kingdoms anyway?!

"King Dad!"

Iggy's sudden shout spooks both Bowser and the Chain Chomp, the latter bounds off to hide in bushes.

"Geez Louise, Iggy! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"No, sir. Sorry, sir. But she wanted to talk to you."

Bowser simply looks at me while calming down, but once settled he averts his gaze.

"This better be important, you're supposed to be watching Jr.."

He's being abrasive and distant. Why?

"Roy is with him."

"*scoff* Yeah, like that sounds good."

Okay, I don't like this. Time to get to the bottom of this.

"Iggy, sweetie. Can you do me a favor, go see if Jr. and Roy are okay? I wish to speak privately with the King."

Iggy gives me a concerned expression but my soft smile makes him nod before heading back inside.

"So what is it you wanted to talk to me for?"

"That can wait. What's your deal lately?"

He lazily looks at me out the corner of his eye.

"What are you talking about?"

"This! This bogus act you're doing. You've been trying your hardest to avoid me and frankly, it's annoying."

"Heh...Don't flatter yourself, little spitfire. Do you really think I'd bother trying to ignore you?"

"Then why won't you look at me?"

"Because the view is nicer this way."

Oh, you reptilian d-bag!

"Look...I don't know what I did to put you in this crybaby mood, but I'm sorry. So can you stop having this pity party and face me like a man? Because right now, you're brooding like a woman."

That makes him look at me.

"Really? That's what your brain said was okay to say to me? Wow, woman...You really suck at apologizing."

I shrug.

"It's hard to be sincere when you don't know what's wrong. Maybe if you told me what's the problem..."

He sighs heavily and looks away again. Great, now I feel bad. I move over to him and sit down beside him, much to his puzzlement.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. It's none of my business to pry into your personal life. Just know that I'm here if you need someone to listen."

Now that earns me a very odd look from him and it makes me uncomfortable.

"What?"

"I think that's the girliest thing you've done since being here."

I punch his shell and he chuckles. At least he's not so down like before, but to be on the safe side, I'd best get his mind off things with other stuff to talk about.

"So...That Chomp your pet?"

"Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"The way you were petting it. It was sweet."

A little color comes to his face but he hides it with his height. The guy is a good 2 feet and 11 inches taller than me!

"Um...It's a she. And her name is Chomp."

"Oops. My bad."

"It's fine."

Quick! say something to recover from being dumb!

"Is she shy? I've never seen a Chomp runaway before."

"A little bit. She's not good with new people."

"Cute."

Things feel better between us, but silence is quick to take over. Maybe if I keep talking to him?

"I've been thinking a lot lately."

"Oh?"

"I've lived in the Mushroom Kingdom for a long time. In that time I've been told many things, read many things, but there are things that confuse me still. There are many sides to a story, but the ones told back home are one-sided. So, if able, can I ask you for your side?"

He's quiet.

"Sorry. I'm overstepping aren't I?"

"No. It's just...You're the first to ask."

"Now that's just a shame. How does one get to see the whole picture if they only look at one spot?"

"True. But who is more likely to come off as the victim, the pretty Princess or me?"

"I'd like to not answer that, as saying anything usually makes you upset and I'm sick of doing that."

"Heh, smart girl."

He messes my hair playfully for a moment.

"*sigh* You probably know that my people usually go along with whatever I end up doing, right?"

"For the most part, yes. But I also know there are those of your Kingdom that have fled to live under Peach's rule."

"The fools. Eh, not like it matters. When I marry Peach, our Kingdoms will merge into one massive territory."

"Very true."

"But do you know why my people follow me with such loyalty?"

"Do tell."

"It's because of a promise held by the leaders of our clan since olden times. As the King, I've vowed to my people that they'd have revenge against all who have treated Koopas poorly."

I'm stunned. They aren't blindly following him out of fear, riches, or random third thing. They follow him out of respect and justice. This...this explains so much.

"You okay? You look like I just smacked you."

"I...I don't know. I just wasn't expecting that. Heck, I don't know what I was expecting."

"We are a proud people. But most of all, we are loyal. If something happens to even a single one of us, no matter what age or size or status, we all come together to get justice. It's the Koopa way."

"That...That is very noble. You are good people."

A cool smile contorts his maw.

"You aren't so bad yourself."

I in turn smile back at him.

"I try."

I should stop right there. I should leave us in this nice moment. But my mouth doesn't let me.

"It's a shame that the Koopa are painted in such a nasty light."

To that, he cocks his brow.

"What?"

"You alone are constantly being portrayed as and I quote 'Bowser, a villain of pure evil. Cruel and ruthless, Bowser is a power-hungry tyrant whose intentions are to rule the Mushroom Kingdom and the entire universe'. End quote."

Damn it! Why did I say that?!

"So...That's what they think of me over there? Heh...Kinda flattering really."

Oh my god he...likes it? Screw it, don't look a gift horse in the mouth and just roll with it.

"I guess I can see why you like it. It makes you sound cool. Big bad King Bowser Koopa, the mighty and all-powerful ruler of Dark Land that is a master of black magic..."

"Please stop! *cocky chuckles* All this sweet talk is cute, but I'm spoken for."

I can't help but giggle. Ah, his ego is charming sometimes.

"As you wish, my King. But I still have so many nice things to say about you."

This has him playfully smirk.

"Oh? Well...Maybe I'll let you say one more. But only because you're so insistent."

"Only one more? Hmmm...Better make this a good one."

I look up at him, meeting his gaze and putting my hand atop his huge claw much to his confusion.

"You are someone whom I respect wholeheartedly. I'd gladly serve you regardless of the debt. In what little time I've been under your rule, you have shown me better care than I received back home. You are not the monster those fungi claim you to be. You are a man. A better man than this world dares know."

Where in the heck did that come from? Sure I wanted to please that massive ego of his, but honestly, where did all that come from? That came out so personal. So caring. Loving even. I've overstepped a boundary and his face says it all. His blush is dark with embarrassment, his eyes dilated with shock, and even the hand mine rests upon is twitching randomly from being unnerved. I'm ashamed of myself. I cast my eyes to the ground and take my hand back.

"I'm sorry. Please...Forgive me."

He doesn't say a word and my chest feels heavy with guilt.

"I should go see how the children are."

I get up and head back towards the castle.

"Lynsie..."

I'm frozen in place by his sudden voice.

"Y-Yes, my King?"

There's shuffling behind me and I feel my spine liquify as his massive shadow steadily swallows my form. All I can make myself do is watch as he stops behind me and raises his arm up high. Oh crap, I'm dead! Game over, man! Game over! I flinch and shut my eyes when that shadow's hand comes down...Only I am not met with pain but instead a gentle couple of pats on the head.

"You're a good girl."

My brain shuts down for a bit, the realization of not dying combined with the relief of continued living ultimately hits me hard. So much so I grow lightheaded and my body hits the grounds as I faint right there on the spot to which for me all goes dark.

"Uh...Was it something I said?"

Bowser got no response from the girl.

"Lynsie? You okay?"

He nudged her with his foot and still got nothing.

"Uh oh..."

[Meanwhile with Kamek and Kammy]

While the Boss is at play, the magicians will relax. Work made them so abrasive. It's nice when they had moments to calmly settle down and be civil. Such was the case at the moment.

"So...How long have you been serving the throne?"

Kammy stirs a spoon in her tea while in thought.

"Hmmm...A tough question. It's been so long now. Do you recall a time not serving the Kingdom?"

Kamek ponders a bit before taking a bite of a tea sandwich.

"Yeah, when I hatched."

They both get a laugh out of that.

"Honestly though, I've been serving master Bowser since he was a diaper wearing infant. You?"

"Me? I started way back during the rule before Bowser. Had to do something to pay off my wizard school student loans."

"Yikes! Those things are brutal. Ever pay them off?"

"Nope. I don't have to."

"Why is that?"

"I found a loophole. If you still have a balance at the end of a 20 to 25-year income-driven repayment plan, the remainder is forgiven. Plus, one of these plans can decrease your monthly payment, as it is based on a percentage of your discretionary income."

"Really?"

"Just keep in mind that stretching payments over 20 to 25 years may actually end up costing more in the long run. And any forgiven amount at the end of the repayment period will be considered taxable income."

"Wow. Neat trick. But how could you be sure that would even work? I know we Koopa live long, but you know how random life is."

"Please. Like anyone would strike a lady as gorgeous as I."

Kamek rolls his eyes behind his glasses as Kammy looks out a nearby window.

"Back in my day, we got way more respect. And I don't just mean us girls, all Koopas in general. We were the global superpower of the land. For millennia our ancestors called this great Kingdom their home. Now we endure the relentless humiliation as the lands our forefathers tended for generations are used to race go-karts, play golf, and converted into sporting arenas."

"True. Our people are stripped of their dignity and left to starve in squalor from being made into broken families. How many heroes do you know that stomp on mere children? The suicide rate has gone up in the last twenty years. So many of our people just walk off cliffs because they've lost the will to keep going."

"*sigh* Everything we had and need they've taken from us. Those accursed Toadstools...They're stripping this great Kingdom to the bone. Bringing it to its knees. Worst of all, they managed to charm their way into the King's heart. So much lost in these failed capture schemes."

"And what no one really questions or knows is...What will they do when it's finally all destroyed?"

Their heads bow in solemn worried silence...Till the room's door is shattered when kicked in by a panicked Bowser with a body on his shoulder and scared the living hell out of them.

"I broke her!"

"My lord?"

"Broke what?"

"The girl! Lynsie! I broke her!"

The two old souls share a look before thinking of ridiculous reasons as to why Bowser would believe he 'broke' a person.

"Okay Sire; calm down."

"Let's have a look at her."

Laying the human down on the floor, the great Koopa King steps back as Kammy checks the girl's wrist and Kamek does the same with her neck.

"Ah man! Jr. is gonna be so mad at me! I'll never hear the end of it! Please tell me you can fix this? Maybe make her into a Dry Human. Wait, is that even a thing? Do human's even have bones?"

"*whisper* We really need to get him to read that human anatomy book."

"*whisper* Not it!"

"*whisper* Dang it."

"Relax, your Viciousness. There's no need to panic."

"She's still alive. Probably just past out."

The Koopa King breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

"Thank goodness. Heh...Dodged that Bullet Bill."

"Dare I ask, what happened to make you think you 'broke' her?"

"Uh...Well...We were talking out in the garden."

"Okay..."

"She was being really nice to me."

"Go on..."

To this, Bowser painfully swallows a lump in his throat before blurting things out in a hurried mess.

"ThenshesaidsomereallynicethingsthatmademyheartgonutsandshefeltbadaboutitbutIsaidshewasagoodgirlandthenshefelldown!"

None of that made any sense to them at all.

"Care to repeat that?"

"Only this time, much slower."

It takes him a moment to settle down, but the recall of the memory makes him fidget with his hands.

"She...She said some things. Very nice things. Things I want Peach to tell me. I guess she felt bad about it after because she tried apologizing. I tried to be kind to her about it. She seemed so guilty. But I don't know what happened because she collapsed right afterward. God, why am I so bad with women?!"

Bowser punches a wall in frustration, leaving a crumbling fist impression in the thick stone, and after letting his words sink in the Magikoopas feel bad for him as well as silly. Bowser has had previous female interactions/relationships, how else would the young Prince come about. But it had been such a long time since either of them saw him like this. Best not open old wounds and just ease the big guy for the time being.

"You mustn't be so hard on yourself, your Highness."

"He's right, Sire. We members of the fairer gender are at times oddly unpredictable. Just look at Wendy for example."

"That...That is true I guess."

"Heck, for all we know, you could've just made her so infatuated that she fainted. But what are the chances of that being the case? It's not like she likes you or anything. And if by some unlikely chance she does, she's a lowly commoner and is beneath you."

"Please, her male plate is full as is without lord Bowser on it. Word is Roy is already barking up her tree. Honestly, it's both cute and sad."

"Really? I heard talk it was Ludwig. I guess if enough dogs see a cat, they all chase it. Am I right?"

The two laugh at such absurdity, unaware of their King's face appearing as though he were just slapped. The grand cogs in his mind turning with new thoughts. And then...it hits him. She really does like him! This is not good. Extremely flattering, yes. Ego boosting, heck yeah. But good? Nope! For one, he's only interested in Princess Peach. Bad enough this girl was invading his dreams on a subconscious level, but now his conscious too and that's only going to distract him. Secondly, the kids are falling for her. If it gets known that she likes him then they'll be brokenhearted, or if someone gossips about him liking her then they'll distrust him for taking her while also claiming Peach. Argh...What a headache!

"My lord?"

"Are you okay?"

Bowser shakes his thoughts away.

"I'm fine. Have her placed somewhere she can recover."

He turns to leave the room.

"If anyone needs me, I'll be in my room, resting. Only get me if it's of the utmost importance. Or else. Got it?"

"Yes, Sire."

"As you wish, my lord."

With that all said and done, Bowser takes his leave. Hoping a nap will help clear his mind of all these confusing thoughts and emotions. With that, the Magikoopa pair carefully remove the girl from off the floor and bring her to a better place to rest. Now all that was left to do is sever the King and do as told.


Just in case there is still some questions to my logic, I'll help clear up a few things. Using the Official Nintendo chart (google super mario bros size chart and it's the first image you see) we can see how tall a lot of them are, though I had to guess height for the Koopalings based on screen images of them next to each other, plus Mario and Luigi. Now the Nintendo-approved statue poster claims it to be "life-sized", thus putting Mario's height at 155 cm (5'1"). Using that information along with this universal size chart, it's possible to estimate the height of all of the mainstays of the franchise. From shortest to tallest: a Goomba is 72 cm (2'4"); a Boo is 79 cm (2'7"); Baby Mario is 89 cm (2'11"); Baby Luigi is 90 cm (2'11"); a Shy Guy is 100 cm (3'3"); Toad, Toadette, and Toadsworth are 103 cm (3'5"); Diddy and Dixie Kong (on their knuckles) are 113 cm (3'8"); a Koopa Troopa is 120 cm (3'11"); a Dry Bones is 124 cm (4'1"); Bowser Jr. is 131 cm (4'4"); a Hammer Bro. is 142 cm (4'8"); a Bullet Bill is 148 cm (4'10") long and 96 cm (3'2") in diameter; a Wiggler is 159 cm (5'3") tall (not including the flower) and who knows how long; Wario and Birdo are 170 cm (5'7") (Birdo is 196 cm [6'5"] if you include her bow); Luigi and Yoshi are 175 cm (5'9"); Lakitu (including cloud) is 179 cm (5'10"); Daisy is 180 cm (5'11"); Donkey Kong (on his knuckles) and Peach (!) are 186 cm (6'1"); Waluigi (with his knees bent a bit) is 216 cm (7'1"); Bowser is 262 cm (8'7"); and Petey Piranha is a whopping 389 cm (12'9"). Normal Piranha Plants seem to vary in height depending on how long their bodies are, but the diameter of their heads is about 111 cm (3'8"). Now for the even harder part, character ages. When it comes to Jr.'s age and that of the Koopalings, I used their first game appearance as their birth year and added till now, this is why Jr. is 15 as Super Mario Sunshine came out 15 years ago and it's his first game. I'll explain why his age and his appearance don't seem to match later on, but after words I hope it'll make sense to you like it does to me.
If there are any questions, feel free to ask.