What up peoplezez
New Chapter, Same Craziness
Warning: this chapter contains forth wall shattering. Readers should be advised to wear hard hats at all times.
Enjoy
That night, several creatures are entering the castle for the party. A Gorilla takes a horse while a bunny takes tickets. "Ah, here you are, son." "Your ticket, sir." The gorilla takes this horse and uses a rack to "park" him.
Inside we see Taotie and the sheriff watching a mime for entertainment. Taotie begins to yawn and the sheriff knows it's getting boring.
"Kill him!" He said.
As guards seized the mime, Taotie stopped them.
"No, wait. You know, a mime...is a terrible thing to waste." He told the sheriff
"Let him go." the sheriff decided.
Now we see Lorelei coming down a set of stairs. Many creatures compliment her on how beautiful she is. "Lovely plumage." "Good evening, Lorelei." "Lorelei." the animals watch her go by in awe as she makes her way to the table where Taotie and the sheriff are at.
"Lorelei, I believe you know the good sheriff of the Valley of Peace." Taotie said to her.
"You look ravishing, my dear." The fox said, obviously smitten with the peacock. He then walked over to her. "Please allow me to help you to your seat." the sheriff took Lorelei's wing as she sat down in the seat that was unfortunately right next to his. The fox kisses her wing as she has a shocked look on her face.
"I must say that prince Taotie has spared no expense for tonight's party," the sheriff said. "We have exotic foods from across the seas: coconuts, bananas, and dates. Would you care for a date?"
The sheriff grabbed a bowl of small, grape like fruit and held it in front of Lorelei. As much as she wanted to resist, she found it hard to resist the one fruit she loved
"Yes, thank you." Lorelei said, attempting to take one.
"How about next Thursday?" the sheriff laughed taking the plate from her cause he was referring to going out.
Then the entrance doors are opened, crushing two gorillas. Colin comes in with what appears to be a dead rabbit with antlers on its head on his back. Every animal in the hall immediately stopped what they were doing and stared in awe at him.
Good evening," he said.
"That's- That's him! That's the peacock!" the sheriff told Taotie.
The creatures continue to look on in awe at the scene. As Colin made his way to the table where Taotie was sitting the gorillas groan as the doors close again. After making his way through the crowd, and thanking all the praise that came with it, Colin finally arrived at the table.
"Greetings dork." Colin said as he placed the strange rabbit on the table.
"Traif," Taotie said under his breath.
"A present for you and your guests," Colin happily said.
"That's a wild boar," the sheriff snapped.
No, no, that's a wild jackalope," Colin said. "That's a wild bore."
Taotie then slammed his hand down, smiling.
"Hah, funny," he laughed. "Very amusing. So you're Colin Neilson, huh?"
Colin confirmed this as he bowed his head. Then he heard Lorelei sighing.
"I've heard so much about you." She said to Colin.
"And who might you be?" Colin asked her.
"Maid Lorelei." The peacock introduced herself.
"Ah, Maid Lorelei. Rumors of your beauty have traveled far and wide, yet I see they hardly do you justice." Colin told her as he kissed her wing.
"Oh!" Lorelei said as she was obviously charmed by what Colin said.
"Quite a smoothie. He's definitely a smoothie." Taotie said.
The sheriff sputtered and pulled Lorelei's wing away from Colin.
"Enough! Emperor illegal forest to jackalope wild kill in it a is!" he yelled.
"What?" Colin and Lorelei asked him simultaneously.
"I mean… don't you know it is illegal to kill a wild jackalope in the emperor's forest?" the sheriff corrected himself.
"Is it not also illegal to sit on the emperor's throne and usurp his power in his absence?" Colin pointed out as he ate a date, causing the guests gasped at what he said.
"Careful, Colin," Taotie warned. "You go too far".
"I've only just begun," Colin said. "I've come to warn you that if you do not stop trying to pass all these pathetic taxes, I shall lead the good creatures of China in a revolt against you".
"And why should the people listen to you?" Taotie asked him.
"Because, unlike some other hood characters, I actually know what I'm getting myself into," Colin smiled.
"Oh!" Lorelei said as she is charmed by Colin again.
Taotie was irritated with Colin now. Right now there was nothing he wanted more than to turn the guy in front of him now into a carved turkey. Instead, he turned his attention to the sheriff, who was obviously just as angry as he was.
"To tell you the truth, this guy is starting to get on my nerves!" he snapped.
"Worry not, Lord Taotie. I shall dispose of this feathered upstart." the sheriff said as he made his way over to Colin. "I challenge you to a duel."
The sheriff took off a glove and he was wearing slapping Colin's face with it. Colin then picked up an iron gauntlet that was on the table and smacked the sheriff upside the head with it.
"I accept," he said.
The sheriff then groaned for a bit as the shot really hurt. It took him a few moments to regain his composure, and when he did, he got right back in Colin's face
"That's going to cost you, peacock," he snapped.
"Oh by all means, put it on my bill, dude." Colin said with sarcasm.
"So it's come down to this, has it?" the sheriff hissed. "A fight to the death. Mano a Mano, fox to peacock, just you and me and my...guards!"
Then the guards that were there proceeded to fight Colin out of the castle. The peacock pulled out his halberd went into battle mode. He used the blade end to swat three of the guards away and kicked a forth right over the table where Taotie was sitting.
"Ooh! Check, please, table one, thank you." Taotie said as he began to lay low during the fight.
Several guards led Colin up the stairs as he held them at bay with his halberd and pseudo-acrobatic fighting skills. However, more guards seemed to be pouring in from everywhere and he had to get off the steps if he wanted more maneuverability.
"Ha!" Colin said as he startled them.
The guards fighting him backed off in shock. Then Colin saw that a chandelier was right over them. He used his halberd to cut a rope thinking the chandelier would land on them. But he miscalculated and the chandelier hit him instead, making him fall to the ground. Lorelei gasped as the guards just laughed at him. Then the doors burst open as Po, Dende, Nathan and Peng came along to help their friend.
"Uh. Ooh. Ah." Taotie said as he knew there was more trouble coming.
Dende let out a battle cry as the four of them ran in separate directions. They immediately intercepted the guards that were swarming Colin and drove them off with their obviously superior fighting skills.
"Let's get out of here!" A woman said as creatures ran out screaming because they didn't want to get hurt during the fight.
Colin and his friends were doing really good against the guards. It seemed blatantly obvious that any one of them, with the obvious exception of Dende, had more raw talent in their left pinkies that all the guards had in their whole bodies. Yet somehow, the guards were no slouches on trying to gang up on them and were trying and failing to overwhelm them with their numbers.
"Oh." Lorelei said quietly as she was concerned for Colin's safety.
After a couple of hard fought minutes, the fight seemed to be coming to an end. Colin threw a guard off the stairs and slid down the stair rail and kicked another guard right in the face.
"Uhh." Taotie said as he was hiding behind the jackalope that Colin brought.
Peng dashed through guards with his daggers while Nathan was fighting several guards using some sort of defensive technique before downing them with hard shots to the gut. Po seemed to be getting the better of some guards with his obvious weight difference and was smacking them around. The citizens that had stayed behind were getting a good look at the battle. It looked like Colin and the others were winning. Colin knocked several guards away as Dende came up to him with a root beer float on a tray.
"Refreshment, Colin?" the wolf asked.
"Ah, thank you, Dende." Colin said.
Colin set his halberd down on the tray and began working on the drink. As he was doing this, he was using one of his metal lined talons to fight a guard behind him.
"Sounds like we're winning, sir," Dende said with confidence.
"Indeed, we are. Carry on." Colin said, finishing his drink as he kicked the guard away.
"Right you are." Dende said as he ran off in no particular direction.
Meanwhile Taotie was still hiding behind the jackalope as the sheriff approached him.
"Save me, save me, hurt them, hurt them!" He said.
"Yes, save them, save them, hurt you, hurt you, I've got it," the sheriff said backwards.
"Ohh!" Taotie screamed.
Dende screamed as he was just swinging that hammer of his at a wooden pole. Meanwhile a guard had Colin pinned down at the edge of the table as the peacock managed to grab a watermelon slice.
"Care for some… dessert?" He asked as he shoved the fruit into the guard's face.
Then he saw some guards aiming arrows at him so he ducked under the table to avoid the arrows. Then he noticed that Lorelei was underneath the table right next to him.
"Lorelei! Do you believe in... love at first sight?" He asked her.
"Oh… it depends on what you're looking at." Lorelei replied with a sigh.
"Well?" Colin wondered.
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Lorelei said as they were about to kiss.
Before they could, a guard stood in front of the table, interrupted their moment. Colin whacked him in the leg with his halberd, causing the guard to yell out in pain and hobble into a punch from Po.
"To be continued." Colin muttered as he got out from under the table to continue fighting. To her annoyance, Soothsayer crawled under the table and was relieved when she found Lorelei.
"My lady, I'm so glad I found you," she said. "Come on. This party's getting rough."
Meanwhile, Dende was still attacking the same pole he was whacking at before, only now the pole was thinner thanks to his attacks. When he was finally done, he panted and was spitting out sawdust. Colin was at the top of the stairs parrying two guards at once, when another was just about to shoot an arrow at him. Peng saw this and threw his daggers at it, pinning him to the wooden door. Then he punched him, knocking him out, and pulled his daggers out and let the guard slide down to the ground. Then he turned around to the viewer.
"Am I good? I'm good." he said.
"Bar the doors! Don't let them get away. Surround the great hall." the sheriff ordered, finally having enough of the fighting.
"Now you're talkin'." Taotie said.
The few guards still standing went over to shut the doors and put a wooden beam over it so Colin and friends were unable to escape through the front door. Then a bunch of guards wearing metal armor came out and began to surround the room. Their armor was clanging so loudly that it was hard for anyone there to even think straight.
"I hope it's worth the noise!" Taotie groaned covering his ears.
As the armored guards got into position, the guards with swords began to surround Po, Dende, Nathan, and Peng. Colin was still at the top of the stairs, thinking about what to do. He then thought of something and grabbed a rope that was hanging near his end of the stairs.
"We've got him. We've got him." Taotie said smiling.
Colin then jumped on top of the hand rail and looked down at the row of armored guards. He then smiled at the viewer and said, "Aha, right rope".
He then took off in flight on the rope as Lorelei, Soothsayer, Taotie and the sheriff watched him. He flew right over and kicked one of the armored guards, knocking out all of the guards with swords and the guards in armor fell down one by one like dominoes. When the last armored guard fell down, Lorelei, Soothsayer, and some animals that had decided to stick around began clapping and cheering. Colin then joined his friends at the entrance.
"Look at this," Taotie said sadly looking at all the mess. "They're gone from royalty to recycling".
"Hey Nathan, would you get the door for us?" asked Colin.
"Yeah, I'll try." The Snow leopard shrugged.
As he went over and tried to lift the wooden beam off the doors, Colin turned his attention back toward Taotie and the sheriff.
"Well, it's been a fantastic party, and we'd love to stay and all that, but, um, I'm afraid we really gotta get going here, so buh-bye." Colin said.
Then he, Po, Dende, and Peng ducked while Nathan hurled the wooden beam at the guards that were still standing, sending them crashing to the ground. They got up and prepared to leave. Colin raised his wing and blew a kiss at Lorelei. She tried to return the favor, but Soothsayer stopped her.
"No, no, no." she said to the peacock. Colin then waved good-bye and left the castle with his friends.
I told you there was going to be forth wall shattering
Well, it looks like Colin and his crew struck first in this little fight. Stay tuned if you wanna see more
R&R plz
NITRO PSYCHO OUT!
