Chapter 7- 14 years old
Last summer had been a busy one for both Carlos and I. He began working part time at a convenience store to help bring more money into the house. He still worked at the Cafe and didn't have much time for anything else but sleep. Four times Abuela and I had traveled to Newark to have lunch with him and he came for one weekend to visit Abuela and myself. We did talk on the phone as much as possible. I started babysitting more and was saving my money. My goal was to move out of my family's home ASAP.
Joe Morelli had changed quite a bit during the school year. He had more victims including Mary Lou, Joyce, JoAnn and several others. He and Terry were still on and off, but mostly off for the school year. As far as the three stooges were concerned I would soon be joining that list. I knew that would never happen. Morelli and I had become good friends and his worst crime when hanging out with me was calling me Cupcake. Either I was immune to the Morelli charm that made women immediately drop their pants or he wasn't using it on me because we remained only friends. Carlos was my guy and I had no reason to even think about anyone else.
I considered talking to Joe Juniak and telling him he was my father, but I wasn't ready for that just yet. I didn't need another adult in my life rejecting me. I was at Abuela's house and we were both waiting for Carlos' weekly phone call. Afternoon and evening passed but still no call. Abuela called his home but she was told he wasn't there. This went on through all of July. She talked to her daughter and she was also worried about Carlos. He told her he had a new job and was bringing a lot of money home to his family each week. She was worried he was involved with the wrong people. I was worried I had been replaced.
Let's face it no matter what Carlos thinks I am not the most beautiful girl in the world. I also knew he was pretty darn close to perfection. It was two weeks until Carl's birthday and I hoped Carlos would show up for that. This year Carl's party was set at the indoor skydiving place. I had been marking the days off of my calendar excited for the chance to fly.
"Estafania?" Abuela shook me out of my thoughts.
"Sorry." I blushed when I saw she was holding out the phone.
"Carlos?" I asked when I had it to my ear.
"Hey Babe" he said
"How are you? I miss you." I told him
"Fine" he answered with only one word
"Uhm" I didn't know what to say
"Listen Steph, I'm not going to be able to make it this summer at all." he explained
"Oh." I paused "Well I don't know if you are aware Carl's party is right outside of Newark. It's at the new IFly."
He let out an aggravated sigh "I don't have time for that little kid bullshit."
"uhm" I was confused "Thought we could at least see each other for a couple of hours at the party."
"Listen, I should have called you sooner." he hesitated "I don't really thing this long distance thing is going to work out."
"Thing? Long distance? We are an hour away from each other." I spoke quickly
"You're busy and I'm busy. I don't want you hanging out with Abuela all the time waiting around for me." he went on
"What? Wait! Excuse me?" I was shocked "I work too you know? I don't just sit around here eating bon bons with Abuela waiting for you to call."
"Stephanie, we live in two different worlds." he began
I interrupted him. "That never seemed to bother you before."
"Well, it bothers me now. I don't have time to waste worrying about you." he voice with flat with no emotion.
"Waste your time?" Now I was getting close to rhino mode. "Worrying about me?"
"Yeah. I can't focus on my life here. I can't lay in bed and worry if you are handing your virginity to Morelli." he spat
"WHAT? I can't...how dare you? I can't...Carlos!" I was pissed now
"What Stephanie? What? It seems it's a matter of time. You're there and I'm here. I can't compete with the guys that see you every day." he paused "I'm holding you back. I know for a fact you didn't go to any school dances last year. Yeah, I know you work but instead of friends you spend all of your extra time with Abuela." he sounded exasperated
"So you're saying I'm a loser? I'm the weirdo?" I shook my head as my eyes welled with tears
"No..." he began
I cut him off. "My home life sucks. This is the only place I feel loved. I'm so sorry if it offends you. I will stay away from your family if that's what you want."
Abuela was on her feet. She was watching me intently. When she saw the tears flow she held out her hand for the phone. I shook my head no.
"That would be for the best." he agreed
My jaw dropped to the ground. He just told me he wanted me to stay away from Abuela. My chest hurt. My heart was breaking. I was losing Abuela and Carlos all in the same day. I knew it had been hard recently but I had no problem waiting for him. I never once considered ending things with him. I wanted to beg him not to do this. I wanted to beg him not to take away his heart. I wanted to beg him not to take away my only family. Instead I was angry.
"For the best? For who? For you? You found someone new so you want to kick me out of your life? You want me away from Abuela so you can bring your new girlfriend around? Is that it?" I practically yelled
"There is no other...I could never...I haven't replaced you." I caught him off guard and he stammered.
"Why then? Why are you doing this?" I asked
"It's for the best." he had regained his control.
"You keep saying that? What happened? What's different?" I needed answers
"This is how it has to be." he said flatly.
"This...uhm..." I was at a loss for words.
"Take care of yourself. I hope we can be friends down the road. Put Abuela back on the phone."
I took a deep breath. "Take care of yourself."
I handed Abuela the phone and the tears began to pour from my eyes. She started speaking rapid Spanish to him. I could tell she was angry. I couldn't stand there anymore. I hugged her and kissed her on the cheek.
"I love you" I whispered before I bolted out the door.
I ran as fast as I could. I got two blocks away before I had to stop and hold my side. I had no idea where to go. I had no idea what to do. My chest hurt. My heart was broken. I had no Carlos and no Abuela. I had no one and I felt like I had nothing. I stared at the ground and let the tears fall as I continued to walk down the sidewalk. By the time I was all cried out I looked up to see the sun setting. I looked around to see where I was. I was standing in front of Joe Juniak's house.
I stood there staring at the house. It was a typical row house. His side was painted blue and his neighbor Mr. and Mrs. Nasarra's half was yellow. The porch light was on. I didn't really know him that well. I knew he was a widower. I knew he had a son in college. He lost his wife to Cancer two years ago. I see him a few times a year. He sends me Christmas and Birthday present as my Godfather. But I know knew he was my biological father. This seemed like the time to talk to him. I had nothing to lose. I had already faced the worst rejection today. I had no where else to go and I didn't want to go back home. I didn't want to deal with someone telling me how disappointing I was tonight. I slowly moved up the walkway and knocked on the door. I began to fidget and bit down into my bottom lip. Oh no! This was a bad idea. I turned to walk away when the door opened.
"Hey Steph." Juniak greeted me "What's up?"
"Uhm...can I talk to you please?" I asked
"Sure. Come on in." he smiled
He stepped back and motioned with his hand for me to come in. I stepped inside and he closed the door behind me. I followed him to the kitchen and he motioned for me to have a seat at the breakfast bar. He tilted his head and studied me for a second.
"What's wrong? You've been crying." he noticed
"Many things." I sighed
"What can I help you with? I hate to see you upset." he paused "Oh where are my manners? Would you like something to drink?"
"Ice tea? Water?" I asked
"I have Ice tea." he smiled "Monica used to handle all of this stuff. I am a terrible host."
"You're my father." I blurted out while he had his back to me.
He froze with the refrigerator door open. His hand still on the pitcher of ice tea. After a few seconds he pulled out the pitcher. He turned and placed it on the counter. He got out a glass and filled it before he pushed it to me. He let out a deep breath as he plopped down in the stool across from me.
"How do you know? I had always hoped you were. I had done the math and I had asked Helen. She said no. I did tell Monica. I confessed everything. We went to therapy and she forgave me. I told her how I wished you were mine." he clasped his hands together.
"You wished I was yours?" I was confused
"Why wouldn't I? You are smart and beautiful. Let me show you something." he got up
He left the room. I took a drink from my glass and took severaldeep breaths. He came back to the kitchen and handed me a picture. I looked at the woman in the picture. She had curly brown hair and blue eyes. She looked a little like me, but she was beautiful. I glanced up at him as I waited for an explanation.
"That's my mother." he told me
"Your mother?" I was in awe
"Yes. My mother. She lives in Florida. I would love for you to meet her some day." he smiled at me.
"Don't you want to get a DNA test?" I asked him
"We can. I don't need one." he paused "May I ask how you found out?"
I gulped "A few years ago I overheard my mom and dad...Frank talking about it."
"You should have come to me." his eyes looked thoughtful.
I nodded but said nothing
"So, you haven't discussed this with them?" he asked
"No." I spoke quietly.
"What made you decide to come here today?" he asked me
I took a deep breath and then a few more but it was pointless. I completely broke down. My body was racked with sobs and I couldn't catch my breath. He moved like a blur and had me tight in a hug buried into his chest before I could blink. He stroked my back and let me cry.
"Shh. Shh. It's going to be okay. I'm your father. I am going to help you get through anything. I am going to be here for you. I am so happy to find out you're mine. Shh. Shh." he kept repeating himself.
When I finally got some semblance of control he pulled me back and gave me a tight smile. He held onto my shoulders and turned me around,. He ushered me to the living room and aimed me towards a recliner. He sat down on the couch across from me. He leaned his elbows onto his knees and steepled his hands. He pressed his hands into his lips and watched me. He waited a few minutes and then finally spoke.
"Tell me." he instructed
"I don't know where to start." I sniffled
"From the beginning. I've missed so much of your life." he sighed
"My parents hate me. Dad...Frank wished I was aborted. I am a constant reminder of the affair. My mother hates me. She wants me to wear pink and be more of a girl. She expects me to already be focused on marriage and babies. I try to stay away from home as much as possible. They hate me."
The tears were falling down my face and he just stared at me.
"The mean girls at school hate me. Joe Morelli tortured me as a kid but he's been nice to me the last couple of years. Everyone thinks it's because I won't let him in my pants and he is running out of girls on his virgin conquering list. The only place where I was appreciated and loved was ...well I had this guy he was my best friend and then my boyfriend. He used to come every summer to visit his Abuela. She kind of became my Abuela. My only family. The only one who loved me and then well...today. And then..."
My breath caught.
"He well...he broke up with me. He said we lived too far and he was too busy. He doesn't want me to stay attached by hanging out with his Abuela. Now I have nothing. I have no one. I didn't even mean to come here and ruin your life. I was walking and crying and thinking and I looked up and saw your house. I'll leave.. I'm sorry."
"No. Don't go. You're not ruining my life. I told you before I wondered about you. I hoped you were mine, but your mother is not exactly the most approachable person in the world. I made a huge mistake and I am grateful that my wife offered me forgiveness and I like to think I spent the rest of her life making up for my bad choices." he explained
"Did you ever ask her? My mom?" I wondered
"Yes. I asked her as soon as I noticed she was showing and she said no. It wasn't a long term thing. We were only together two times. She refused to discuss it further." he sighed
"But you're my Godfather." I was confused.
"Yes. Your father...Frank and I were best friends. You were baptized before he knew anything. I wasn't sure how he found out about the affair. He came to me and told me he knew and told me to stay away from his family. Perhaps as you got older and he saw the resemblance to my mother and he figured it out. I think your mother always knew." he offered his opinion.
"Oh." It was all I could say.
"Can you explain to me what's so bad about home?" he asked "I want to understand why you think they hate you."
"They just hate me. They love Valerie. She is the perfect child. I always wondered why they didn't like me. When I got grounded I had books taken away. I was told not to read. Reading all of the time made me too weird. They wanted me to join in more activities in school. Activities that were more feminine. They plan to kick me out when I turn eighteen, but I have been saving money to get out of there sooner. He said I was useless, a waste of space, She said she tried three different clinics to get rid of me. Said she should have thrown herself down the stairs." the words echoed in my head.
"What?" he was in shock
"He said I'm not even pretty and she thinks I am already a constant embarrassment. They think I'm not normal." more tears.
Juniak leaned his head down into his hand and heaved out a sigh.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know. I should have known. At the least I am your Godfather. I should have checked in on you more instead of just sending presents." he rubbed his hand over his face.
"It's not your fault. There was nothing you could do." I assured him
He snapped his head up. "There is something I can do now."
"No. I don't want you to try to talk to them. It will just be worse for me when you leave." I explained
"I'm not leaving. Stephanie? Do you want to live with me? Do you want to meet your brother Sal?" he asked me
"I...I...she won't let me. She won't let me go because she doesn't want to be embarrassed. She doesn't want the Burg to know." I told him.
"It doesn't matter what she wants." he told me
"Well, I don't know where to start." I admitted
"What time do you usually go home?" he asked me
"I have to be home at six o'clock for dinner. If I eat dinner out I have to be home at nine o'clock. There is not food served in my house if you are not at the table at six." I described my mother's rules.
He glanced at the clock. "Okay it's almost eight. Did you eat anything?"
I shook my head. I had lunch with Abuela but that was a long time ago. He got to his feet and walked into the kitchen. He took out a plate and added something from the refrigerator before he set it in the microwave. He called me over and set out some bread as I jumped back onto the bar stool. he pulled a piece of Lasagna from the microwave and passed it to me. Then he handed me a fork and knife. He watched me as I took a bite.
"This is delicious. Thank you." I told him as he nodded
"Stephanie, I would like you to come with me to meet my lawyer. I will call tomorrow to make an appointment. He will want a DNA test done. If you agree we would go to court and fight for custody. I can see if the court would allow you to stay here temporarily during the paperwork stuff." he offered
"She will flip out. She will be so embarrassed. He will hate me more than he already does. It will hurt your reputation." I shook my head.
"I will be fine. I'm not worried about me. I'm worried about you." he told me
"I'm okay. I only have four years left. Less if I save enough money sooner." I assured him
"College?" he asked
I bit my lip and stayed silent. He raised an eyebrow.
"They only have enough for Valerie." I finally spoke
He slammed his hand down on the counter and took a few steps away.
"I'm sorry." I instinctively said
"You? You're sorry? No! I'm sorry. Helen and Frank should be sorry. I wish I knew sooner. I should have pushed harder. You deserve better than this whether it's four years before eighteen or four minutes." he paced as he spoke.
I finished the lasagna and Juniak spent most of that time pacing, thinking and jotting down notes. He walked me to the door when it was time to go but stopped me before he opened it.
"Stop by here tomorrow around ten and I will leave you a note under the mat to tell you when the appointment with the lawyer will be." He told me as I nodded
He started to open the door and then stopped. He pulled me into a tight hug and kissed the top of my head. He pulled back and looked at me as he held my upper arms.
"That boyfriend? He's the one missing out on an amazing girl right now. If it's meant to be then it will be. Even if it's not now." he offered
"Thank you." I spoke softly
The next day I left the house as soon as I could. I went to the park to read. I was sitting at a picnic table in the shade when I heard someone come closer. I looked up to see Joe Morelli. He smiled and slid into the bench across from me.
"What's up Cupcake?" he asked
"Nothing." I tried to sound cool.
He tilted his head and studied my face.
"Are you okay?" he inquired
"Fine." I told him
"You don't look fine." he challenged
"I just have a lot going on right now." I shrugged.
"Anything I can help with?" he asked
"Nope." I told him as I looked back at my book.
"I am your friend. You can come to me if you need to talk." he offered
I dog eared the page I was reading. I closed the book and set it on the table. I folded my hands on top of it and looked up at him. I stared at him for a minute. He was an attractive guy. He had a great smile and a nice face. His smile gave out maybe sixty watts, but was nothing next to Carlos.
"You have all of your friends on your list?" I asked
He dropped his jaw and his eyes grew wide. "Stephanie, you are not on my list."
I rolled my eyes. "I don't think you'll hit your fifty virgins without me. According to the three stooges I am next."
"That was a joke." he brushed it off.
"A joke? Joe, you're sixteen years old and you've already screwed over twenty girls." I shook my head in disgust.
"It's the Morelli libido. I can't control it." he shrugged and then collected himself. "You're not one of those girls Steph."
"Why not? What am I?" I asked
"I don't know. You're beautiful. You're smart. You're such a freaking good person." he paused while he took a breath. "You're everything I don't deserve."
I looked at him confused. I wasn't sure how to respond to this. I wasn't prepared for him to say these things. He reached across the table and took my hand in his. He squeezed it to get my attention, I looked up into his eyes. Nice eyes. Milk chocolate covered eyes.
"It's more than a crush. I don't know how to explain it. Since I was four I have been drawn to you. Half obsessed with you. I can't really tell you what exactly my heart feels. I can only tell you that you are someone special to me. You are someone important to me." he looked deep into my eyes.
"Just so you know I won't be on your list." I confirmed
"I don't want you to be. If it happens between us it won't be because of a list." he smiled
"I have to go." I pulled my hands away and stood up.
"I'm here if you need me." he called after me.
I spun around. "Joe, all hell's about to break loose. You're going to hear all kinds of bad things about me. You should stay far away from me so you don't get dragged into my mess."
He jumped to his feet and pulled me into a hug. "There is nothing that could ever make me stop caring about you."
"We'll see." I told him as I pulled away.
I went to Juniak's house and checked under the mat. There was a note 'tomorrow morning at 10am meet me here at 9:30'
Wow! This was all happening so fast. I was scared now. My parents were going to flip out. Valerie would hate me more than she already does. School would be a nightmare. It was already hard. I was already considered a freak. This would only feed fuel to the fire. I wanted to go to Abuela's house and tell her, but I knew I had to stay away. I had to respect Carlos' wishes. I decided to go to the library.
The next morning Juniak and I were sitting across from his lawyer, Mr. Thompson. We had just explained everything and were both waiting on his response.
"I think we can do this. Of course we will have to petition for Helen Plum to comply with a DNA test. Joe, you are an upstanding member of this community and you have the means to support Stephanie. And you Stephanie, you are fourteen years old and can speak up for yourself. I'm not so worried about court and what the judge will decide. I am worried about the court of public opinion. Are you both ready to face the backlash that will come from this?"
"It's worth it to have my daughter." he reached over and patted my leg. "I will help her get through this."
I nodded in agreement.
"Are you afraid to be home when they find out the papers have been filed?" Mr. Thompson asked me.
I nodded again.
"I will file for temporary custody while the judge considers the case." he wrote some things down on paper. "Go home and pack up some clothes and what you need. I am going to file today. Come back here at four o'clock and Joe should be able to pick you up and take you back to his house. I don't want you at home when Frank and Helen are notified."
I nodded again. The gentleman shook hands and Juniak and I walked out of the office together.
"Are you sure you're ready for this? Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked me
"Yes." I answered
He smiled and wrapped and arm around my shoulders and gave i a squeeze.
"I'll see you at four o'clock Steph." he smiled at me
"See ya." I agreed
I went home and packed my things. I only had some clothes and a few toiletries. I needed to take my books. Especially the Beauty and the Beast one Abuela had given me. I didn't really own anything else that I wanted to take. I had to use two bags. I had some old school backpacks that I had to use. I opened my window and placed everything on the roof to the garage. I climbed out after them and moved across the roof. I tossed the bags down to the ground and moved over to the side so I could use the garage cans to lower myself to the ground.
By three thirty I was sitting in the waiting room at the lawyer's office. I was fidgeting with my hands. What if the court said no? What if I had to go back there and live with them? They would know I told Juniak. Maybe I could run away to Abuela's house? No. Carlos had told me to stay away from his family. Juniak came in and sat down beside me. He took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze. The lawyer came out and we both stilled. Juniak got to his feet and pulled me up to stand beside him.
A smile spread across Mr. Thompson's face. "The judge has not only approved the temporary custody, he issued a restraining order against Helen and Frank. He is very understanding to our case. We need to go to the police station and get the DNA samples taken."
Juniak pulled me into a hug and I felt a smile creep across my face. He held out his hand and thanked Mr. Thompson. He picked up my bags and I followed him out to his car. We drove to the police station so we could both have our mouths swabbed. Then he drove me to his house and showed me to my room.
"You can choose any of the spare rooms, but this one will give you your own bathroom. Monica had me update it several years ago." he smiled and seemed to be thinking back.
He carried my bags in and set them on the bed. "It's funny. When I told her I thought you were mine, she agreed. She wanted to convert the fourth bedroom into a bathroom with a big closet. She thought one day we might need it. She was right." he sat down on the bed. "I wish she was here. You would have loved her."
"Anytime I saw her she was always nice to me." I smiled at him.
"Have you thought about how your Godmother is going to act?" he asked me
"I don't really know for sure what Mrs. Gazarra will do. She is always very nice to me. She and Mrs. Costanza have always supported me. Carl and Eddie are my best friends." I explained
"I want to hear all about your life." he told me "But not tonight. I am going to make us some dinner. How about baked ziti?"
"You can cook?" I was surprised
"Not as well as Monica did, but she taught me some recipes." he smiled
"That sounds delicious." I nodded
"Go ahead and unpack." he left me alone in the room.
Six months had passed. The transition from Frank and Helen Plum's daughter to Joe Juniak's daughter had been easier than I ever imagined in some ways. He treated me like I was gold. He was more strict on where I went and when I was expected home. He actually cared about what I did during the day. I wasn't yet comfortable with calling him dad but I was able to refer to him as 'my dad' when explaining to Carl or Eddie that my dad wanted me home at a certain hour. I called him Joe and he called me sunshine.
In the beginning Helen and Frank disregarded the restraining order and kept coming to the house. It was terrible to listen to them arguing on the front porch. My mother wanted me back so shut up the gossips. She and Frank never said they missed me or they loved me. Joe told them they were idiots. He told them they had lost an amazing daughter. He told them they didn't deserve me.
The DNA results had come back so she could no longer deny that Joe Juniak was my father. The judge spoke to me in his chambers. I told him all about the conversation I had overheard. He spoke to Mrs. Costanza and Mrs Gazarra before he made the decision to give full custody to Joe Juniak. My mother was allowed supervised visitation. We only had one meeting where she berated me and slapped me in the local McDonald's where we had met for the visit. The social worker who was supervising immediately called the police. Then the restraining order went back into effect.
I was starting to struggle in school. The constant gossip going around about me really affected me more than I thought it would. The three stooges worked harder at making my life a living hell. I was kicked off the Baton twirling team. The coach was a friend of my mother. Valerie no longer ignored me. Instead she told me I ruined her life. She worked hard daily to ruin mine. She spread rumors and actually paid girls to threaten me and even go as far as physically attacking me. Morelli was still nice to me, but was more focused on adding to his list than pursuing our friendship. I heard he was almost up to thirty girls now.
Joe pulled me out of public school and enrolled me in St. Ann's catholic school. It was an opportunity to start over. Of course I was already familiar with some of the boys and girls just from knowing their families around town. They were curious about me, but seemed to be much more understanding of my situation. I had a wonderful homeroom teacher who had discovered my love of reading. She assigned me more advanced books and challenged me to take tests and write reports to keep up with my comprehension. She asked me about college and I told her my plans were for Rutgers. She told me to set my sites towards Princeton instead.
Joe was wonderful to me. He bought me books and installed a book case in my room, He would give me a budget and let me pick my own clothes. I lost two of my four babysitting jobs because they were friends with my mother. My new brother Sal came to visit me and took me into the family with open arms. He was also happy his dad would have company. It made me think of Abuela. Today I was going to visit her no matter what. I had decided I was allowed to check in on her no matter what Carlos thought.
I knocked on the back door but didn't enter. I waited for her to answer. She looked tired. She had dark circles under her eyes and they were red. She had been crying and she obviously wasn't sleeping. She pulled me into a hug as soon as I stepped into the kitchen. Tears welled in my eyes as I squeezed her right back. She started making cookies and I sat down to tell her about the last six months of my life.
"And are you happy?" she asked me when I was finished
"Yes, mostly I am." I smiled and nodded
"Mostly?" she asked
"What's wrong Abuela? What's going on?" I asked her
She lowered her head and let out a deep sigh. She was struggling. Deciding whether to tell me or not. I reached across the table and grabbed her hand. I squeezed it gently and she looked up at my face.
"Please tell me." I pleaded
She nodded in agreement before he spoke. "Carlos was arrested last night."
"What?" I jumped to my feet.
"He has been hanging around the wrong crowd. We think he's been stealing cars and bringing them in to chop shops to make money." she began to wring her hands.
"What happens now?" I asked
"We need to get him away from these kids. This gang." she sighed
"Where can he go?" I asked
"We have been trying to get him to go stay with his Abuela Rosa in Miami for a while." she covered his face with both hands.
"Why Miami?" I asked
"To get him far from the thugs he seems to be associating with. Rosa has two sons both in Miami, both police officers. They can get him into their cadet program." she explained
"So then what's the problem?" I asked
"We can't get Carlos to agree to it." she heaved out another heavy sigh.
"He's in Newark?" I asked
"Yes." she nodded
"Don't move. Don't leave. Wait here for me." I told her
I ran out the door and jogged the whole way home. I called Joe and told him I needed help when he got off of work.
"I'll be there in thirty-five." he assured me.
As soon as he came home I filled him in on what was happening with Carlos. He called and found out which station in Newark Carlos was being held at and then offered to drive Abuela and I there. We picked up Abuela and she seemed a bit relieved that we were going to see Carlos. Along the way I told Joe all about him. I explained how we first met when I was two and he saved me from getting hit by a car. I explained about almost drowning. He knew about that part because Mrs. Costanza had brought it up when she was making her statement about why my mother was unfit to have custody of me. Still, he shivered when I recounted it. For the first time I told him about Morelli's garage and what game he wanted to play. I saw his knuckles get white on the steering wheel. I continued with telling him everything about Carlos.
When we got to the station Joe had Abuela and I sit down while he spoke to the officer in charge. He came back and said they would bring Carlos to a room for me to speak with him. He said Abuela could visit too. He was waiting for the Chief of police to come and Carlos' parents were on the way. I didn't understand all that was happening. All I could think of was seeing Carlos.
A few minutes later Abuela and I were led to a room. Carlos was sitting at a table and there were two chairs across from him. He looked up when we came in. His eyes were filled with surprise and confusion. Abuela crossed the room and pulled him into a hug as she sobbed. She spoke in Spanish and he responded in Spanish as well. After a few minutes he squeezed her tight and then released her. She patted him on the shoulder and then turned for the door.
"I'll wait for my Daughter and son-in-law." she told me as she patted my shoulder.
The door shut and I sat down in a chair across from him. He sat down as well but didn't speak. We sat silently for a couple of minutes. Finally I took a deep breath and spoke.
"Why?" I asked him
His head snapped up. His eyes angry. "Money"
"No not that." I shook my head
"Not what? I know. Everyone wants to know. Why was I hanging out with those guys? Why did I join a gang? Why did I boost cars? I know all of the questions you want answered and my only answer is money." he glared at me
"None of those. That's not what I'm asking." I took a deep breath. "Why did you break up with me?"
He set both elbows onto the table and laid his head in his hands. He ran his hands through his hair that was longer now and let out a low growl of frustration.
"Why are you here?" he asked me
"After all of the times you were there for me...I didn't want to let you down." I explained
He shook his head and the end of his mouth lightly lifted. "You never disappoint."
"Now tell me why Carlos." I reached across the table and pulled one of his hands in mine.
"This life Babe...this life doesn't lend itself to relationships. I couldn't have you visiting here anymore. I didn't want an enemy of mine to see you. Hell, I didn't want one of my friends to see you." he squeezed my hand.
I pulled my hand away and dropped my head. "Because you were embarrassed?"
He reached across the table and tipped my head up with his fingers. "I was trying to protect you. I can't stand the idea of you being hurt."
I felt the tears well in my eyes. "It's important to protect me physically but not emotionally?"
"Emotionally? Babe someone could really hurt you just to get back at me." his hand stroked my jaw line.
"You broke my heart." I whispered
His jaw tightened in anger. The door opened and he pulled his hand away. Joe was there with a man and woman who were clutching on to each other and Abuela. He stopped and looked back and forth from me to Carlos. I got to my feet and went to him for a hug. He pulled me in tight and kissed the top of my head. He pulled me away and made introductions.
"Stephanie this is Mariposa and Anton Manoso. Carlos' parents." he informed me
"Please call me Mari." Carlos' mother extended her hand and I shook it.
"You are more beautiful than Carlos and Abuela described." Carlos' father told me
He shook my hand and I felt a blush flow through my cheeks.
"Everyone sit down please." Joe ordered.
I took a seat in a chair against the wall and Abuela moved in next to me. Mari and Anton sat across from Carlos.
"Here's what's going to happen. Carlos is going to be released and he is going to Miami. Rosa Manosa will be awarded custody. His uncles will get him enrolled in the cadet program there. He will get back into high school and maintain a grade point average of 3.5." Joe announced.
My jaw dropped along with every jaw in the room besides Carlos. Joe looked at Carlos and then crossed the room. He stood next to him and reached out for the chair Carlos was in. He turned the chair hard so that Carlos was facing him. I was worried about Carlos and almost got to my feet. I looked at Joe's face. he wasn't angry but he was focused.
"I have called in a lot of favors. I went to the academy with the Chief of Police here and the Judge is a good friend of mine from College. You must agree to this or you will be going to Juvenile Hall. This is your first offense so you would likely be sentenced there for two years." Joe told Carlos
Mari gasped and Abuela crossed herself. Anton and I sat there quietly. We all waited for Carlos to speak.
"What about my family?" Carlos asked
"You should have thought about them before. Bringing home money you earned from boosting cars was a stupid move. If you go to Juvy they won't have that money anyway." he shook his head at Carlos.
"We're going to sell one of the Cafe's" Anton announced. "We are going to focus on just one and that will help with the money. We're changing a lot of things Carlos. This was an eye opener for us all."
"To think you did this to earn money for our family." Mari cried as she shook her head. "Your sisters will be getting jobs if they want to remain in College and your brother will be helping full time at the cafe'."
"We put too much on your shoulders." his father admitted
"Take this offer." Abuela pleaded
Carlos looked back at Joe. "Why?"
Joe let out a big sigh. "Because you have saved my daughter many times. I wouldn't have her in my life right now if she had drowned or got hit by a car. She would not be the same person if she never met you."
Carlos turned to look at me and our eyes held. Joe cleared his throat.
"For some unknown reason she cares about you. She believes in you and thinks the world of you. Maybe giving you this opportunity for fresh start will allow you the chance to become the young man she believes you are." Joe told him
We all sat in silence. Abuela took my hand in hers and Carlos' parents glanced my way. Carlos looked at me again. He searched my face. He looked confused. I let go of Abuela's hand and crossed the room to him. I stood next to Joe and he wrapped his arm around my waist.
"You have worked so hard to take care of your family and now you owe it to yourself to take care of you. I know you can do this." I told him
Joe waited a few seconds and then spoke to Carlos again. "Are you willing to agree to this and move to Miami? Agree to the terms?"
Carlos looked to his Abuela and then to his parents before settling his eyes back on me. I gave him a watery smile and wiped the tears that slowly slid down my face. He jumped to his feet and caught one more tear that I had missed. I stepped towards him and Joe released the arm around my waist. Carlos pulled me into his arms and squeezed me tight. I hugged him back and almost pulled away to kiss him before I remembered we were in a room filled with our families. He pulled away and looked at me.
"I'll do it. I won't let you down." he told me before he looked at Abuela and his parents. "I'll make you all proud."
He moved in front of Joe and held out his hand. Joe shook it.
"You won't regret this. I don't know what I did to deserve someone like Stephanie in my life. I won't mess this up. I give you my word." Carlos told him
Joe nodded. "That's all I needed to hear. I'm going to get the paperwork. You will leave in the morning."
"We can't afford to fly him there that quickly." Anton tried to explain.
"It's taken care of." Joe waved him off. "I'll come and find you when I have the paperwork for you to sign."
"We can't thank you enough." Anton shook Joe's hand.
"Thank you." Mari threw her arms around Joe and hugged him.
"God bless you." Abuela pulled him into a hug before he went out the door.
Carlos moved past me and went to his mother. He stood before her and hung his head.
"I'm sorry Madre." he whispered to her
She pulled him in her arms and spoke Spanish as she cried. It sounded like she was comforting him. She rubbed his back and cried. Anton reached around her and hugged them both. I moved around them to head towards the door. I wanted to leave them alone in this family moment. Abuela stopped me and pulled me into her arms.
"You are family too." she reminded me
There were hugs and tears all around the room for the next few minutes. Joe came to retrieve Mari and Anton. Abuela followed along and Carlos and I were left alone again. He tugged me into his arms and held me tightly against him. He stroked the back of my hair and kissed the top of my head.
"Dios, I've missed you so much Babe." he whispered "I'm sorry I hurt you. If it's any consolation it wasn't easy to let you go."
I pulled away and wiped my eyes. "Just focus on doing what you need to do."
"I want to be the man you deserve." he stoked my cheek
"You already are." I told him
Joe came to collect me and I pulled out of Carlos' arms. He reluctantly let go of my cheek.
"You've got two minutes Steph." Joe warned and then closed the door.
Carlos cupped my face with both hands and pulled me into a kiss. It was a deep and demanding kiss filled with emotion. His hands slid into my hair and he held my head as he pulled me even closer to him. My hands fisted in the back of his hair. I felt heat flush through my body. I had almost forgotten how his kisses felt. His hands slid down to my waist and I wrapped my hands around his neck. Our tongues continued to dance and our lips were pressed so tightly together they almost hurt. Finally he slid his hands up my body and back to my face. He pulled me away slightly and held my face as he looked into my eyes.
"So beautiful." he whispered. "Your heart is so big." then he smiled.
"You're smiling?" I asked
"This is the smile of a guy who loves you Babe." he pulled me in for a quick kiss before releasing me.
"I..." I bit my lower lip unsure of what to say.
"Don't come in the morning. Let this be our goodbye for now. I promise I'll contact you once I get there." he told me
"But..." I tried to complain
"Please." he pleaded
"Okay Carlos." I reached out and grabbed him into a hug again. "Be careful. Don't get hurt."
"The only thing that can hurt me is you Babe." he kissed me on the head and then pulled away.
There was a knock on he door and I giggled. "My time is up. Have a safe flight."
"You have a great father Babe." he gave me his five hundred watt smile and I melted.
"I know." I nodded before I opened the door.
I crashed into Joe and Squeezed him tight. I cried gently against his chest.
"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." I kept murmuring.
He pulled me away and smiled when he looked at my face. "I love you sunshine. He's a big reason I have you in my life. I have no problem helping a friend of yours. I believe in your judgement."
I cried harder.
"What's wrong?" he looked concerned
"I just..." I stammered "You love me."
"Of course I love you. You're my daughter." he smiled.
***************THANK YOU ******
I know this is a very long chapter, but I didn't want to make a new one when I am keeping each chapter for only that age in her life.
Thanks to the guest reviewer who pointed out I slipped a couple of times in the last chapter and wrote Ranger instead of Carlos. I went back and fixed it.
