This is one of my absolute favorite chapters. I loved writing it, and I really hope you all love reading it just as much.
Chapter 7
The following day Jax rode into the Samcro lot with Clay and the others after their meet with Alvarez and the Galindo men. It had gone better than expected. When he and Clay had made the offer to allow the Mayans to take over their gun business after setting up their new venture in pussy the Galindo representatives had at first been skeptical. They had wanted to keep to the original terms Clay had agreed to in jail, but when Jax made it clear that they would rather walk away and pacify the Russians by handing over their gun business to them than ever mule drugs Romeo had come around. In the end the idea of controlling the Irish pipeline and having such a large presence in California had proved enough temptation. The terms had been set.
The Mayans and Galindo would back Samcro in their move to take over the pussy trade in most of California, and the Sons would sell them guns over the next six months, allowing them to make the cash to build their new businesses, while the Mayans did all the muling. Then in six months when things had a chance to settle down Samcro would slowly begin transferring the gun business to the Mayans. This would allow Galindo to get guns at a deep discount from the Mayans, not having to pay the Sons markup, and let Alvarez's crew have the guns they'd need to control the coke trade in their territories. Jax was still unsure if the Irish would accept the transfer of ownership, but Clay had assured him that once they saw how much money this move would bring them, and if Samcro could keep any heat from coming down on them over the next six months, then the Irish would be more interested in making money for their cause than their dislike of the cartel and Mayans. So the deal had been made.
Jax had barely been able to contain his excitement when Romeo and Alvarez shook on it, and he and his club had really and truly made the first step to get out of guns. He had no delusions that there were going to be many complications in the coming months, that the hardest obstacles were yet to come, but getting the approval of Galindo and the Mayans had been crucial to the rest of his plan, and now they had it. He couldn't wait to tell Tara. Especially after last night.
Jax couldn't help but wince as he remembered how last night when Tara had taken the boys to Chucky's room to sleep, the odd man graciously offering up his sleeping quarters for them, she had made it perfectly clear he hadn't been invited to come. When he'd asked if he could at least sleep on the floor of the bedroom with them, Tara had shaken her head and replied, "Jax, I don't feel comfortable with you there."
She hadn't been comfortable. Tara wasn't comfortable with the idea of him sleeping so close to her. Fuck if that hadn't hurt. He never slept as well as he did as when Tara was in his arms, and he had fucked things up so badly that she didn't feel comfortable with him sleeping in the same room, let alone holding her in bed. His eyes had shown his sadness when he'd agreed to find somewhere else to sleep. He was only thankful that she had agreed to let him help her read to the boys before they fell asleep, but it had definitely hurt to have her shoo him away once they were.
It had been a rough night sleeping in a chair in his mother's office as he'd given his room to Opie, Lyla, and their kids and the rest of the clubhouse and lot was filled with others camping out in sleeping bags and tents until they got off lockdown. When he'd settled into his mother's office chair with a blanket it had been a jarring reminder of how badly he'd fucked up his family by cheating on Tara and pushing her away. Still, it only added to his determination to fix things with her. To replace the wariness, disappointment, and anger in her eyes with trust, desire, and love. He would get his old lady back, and once he did he'd never give her a reason to doubt him again. Let alone feel uncomfortable in his presence.
Backing his bike into line beside Clay's and the rest of his brother's, Jax took of his helmet and grinned at his step father as he said, "That went better than I thought it would."
"Hell yeah it did, but I don't think I'll ever forget Marcus's shock when we told him we wanted out of guns," Clay laughed.
"Well we have spent 20 some odd years fighting him over it," Tig agreed from the other side of Jax as he put the kickstand down his bike as well.
Clapping Jax on the shoulder, Clay added, "But it's a good plan, Jax. No way will Alvarez double cross us now. He'd lose all his guns. We've made an ally for life."
"Yeah," Tig reluctantly agreed before catching sight of Gemma marching their way with a definite scowl on her face. "Heads up guys, Gemma looks like she's about to lay into us."
"Fuck," Clay muttered, "what the hell did we do now."
"Hey Ma," Jax greeted when his mom came to a stop right in front of him and gave him a glare that would have the most seasoned soldier ducking for cover. "What's up?"
"What's up? What's up? You little shit I should slap the fuck out of you!"
Seeing how livid Gemma was Jax asked, "What did I do? Why are you so pissed?"
Stepping towards her son, Gemma hissed, "I'm pissed because that fucking whore Ima has been here for the last two hours! Walking around this clubhouse like she belongs here! You should have seen Tara's face when she walked in! Damnit Jax! How the fuck is she supposed to forgive you when your mistakes keep slapping her in the face!"
Getting pissed now as well, Jax asked, "Why the fuck is she here? I never told her to come here."
"Aw shit man," Opie offered sheepishly. "I told Lyla to warn the CaraCara girls that shit might go down. She asked if any of them could come here for security. After what happened to Luanne they get spooked easily. I told her yes, but I never dreamed she'd invite Ima."
"I didn't," Lyla explained as she joined the group. She tossed a glare back at the clubhouse before facing everyone and explaining, "When I called CaraCara and told Macy she and the other girls could hide out here until we see how all this lands I specifically told her to make sure Ima knew she wasn't invited."
Looking straight at Jax, she swore, "I promise Jax, I made Macy swear up and down that she'd make sure Ima knew she couldn't come. She just showed up. I've been trying to get her to leave but she won't."
Gaze going to his mother, Jax asked, "Why didn't you make her leave? Fuck Ma! You've been slapping uppity whores around for years! Why the hesitation now?"
Still glaring at her son, Gemma replied, "Because Tara told me not to. She said you'd been inside a long time and could probably use the comfort that Ima can provide. She said since you're in the market for a new old lady Ima must be here to audition. She even asked one of the crow eaters to change the sheets on your bed so it would be ready for the two of you."
Her words sliced through him and Jax felt guilt and shame flood him, not to mention unbelievable pain. To hear how Tara had responded to Ima's presence ripped him in two, and what was worse is he knew he deserved it. Looking at the ground he muttered, "Fuck." He couldn't imagine how much pain Tara must be in, pain and embarrassment, watching Ima strutting around the clubhouse, rubbing Tara's face in the fact he slept with her.
Determination rising, Jax growled, "Well she's leaving now." He strode purposefully towards the clubhouse with everyone following closely behind him. He couldn't believe the gall of this whore showing up here like this, and he was determined to make it clear to her and everyone else that there was only one woman for him. That only one woman meant anything to him.
Storming into the clubhouse he spotted Tara at the end of the bar, Abel sitting next to her eating a sandwich while she held Thomas in her arms. Eyes scanning the room he saw Ima lounging on the couch with some of the other CaraCara girls. Everyone's eyes immediately snapped to him, including Tara's, but she looked away from him just as quickly. Though not so fast he didn't see the pain in them. Moving with purpose Jax headed straight for Ima who was giving him her best sultry smile.
"Hey, Jax" Ima greeted, eager to weasel her way into Jax's life in any way she could. Now that Tara had made it clear she was officially done with the handsome outlaw biker Ima was determined to get his crow on her. She was determined to be the next queen of Samcro. "I've missed you. Why didn't you come see me when you got out? I would have given you a welcome home you wouldn't ever forget."
Coming to stop in front of Ima, keenly aware of all the eyes in the club on them, Jax growled, "Get up."
Slightly put off by his expression and tone, Ima stood and said, "What's with the hostility? Last time I saw you there was such a smile on your face. Are you forgetting how good I made your cock feel, baby? Because I'm definitely ready to remind you."
Reaching forward to trail her fingers along the VP patch on his kutte, Ima purred, "How about you take me upstairs, cowboy? I've never had a man fuck my pussy the way you did that night. I can't wait to feel you inside me again, and I know it's been a long time for you."
Across the room Tara felt pain tear through her heart and she did everything in her power to keep her eyes from filling with tears. Being reminded of what Jax had done with Ima made her feel sick, but she refused to fall apart. Especially in front of everyone. Instead she clutched Thomas in her arms as she said to Abel, "Come on, baby, let's go to Chucky's room."
"But, Mommy, I'm eating!"
Needing to get her children away from Ima's foul mouth, Tara offered, "I know, baby. You can take your sandwich with you, and after you finish I'll get you an ice cream. How about that, baby?"
"Ok Mommy."
Tara quickly made her way out of the main clubhouse area and headed to the back towards Chucky's room. She passed the odd man who gave her a sympathetic look before hurrying down the hall with her children. When the door was safely shut behind her Tara allowed a few tears to fall.
"Why you sad, Mommy?"
"I'm not sad, Abel, I just got something in my eye. Now hurry and eat your sandwich so we can go get some ice cream."
"Ok!"
Back in the clubhouse Jax had been so focused on Ima and his anger at her being here like this that he hadn't heard Tara leave. Instead he pulled Ima's hand from his kutte and hissed, "You got no right being here, whore. This clubhouse is for family. You were told not to come."
Pouting as she jerked her hand from Jax's too tight hold, Ima denied, "You were certainly happy to have me here last time."
"A mistake. A mistake I'm never going to repeat. You get whatever shit you came with and get the fuck out of here. I don't want to see your rancid pussy in this clubhouse again. Do you understand?"
Eyes widening, Ima asked, "You're kicking me out?"
"You were never invited to begin with. Lyla made it clear you weren't welcome here."
Eyes darting around and seeing that everyone was watching them, and beginning to feel more and more embarrassed, Ima demanded, "You have to let me stay. You guys are brining heat down on us and I don't want to end up like Luanne. You owe me protection."
"I don't owe you shit," Jax denied, "I don't owe you anything, and I'm not giving you anything. We're locking down the people we love. That doesn't include you."
Growing more and more irritated, Ima huffed, "I guess you mean little Miss Tara?"
When Jax's expression grew dark Ima stupidly continued, "Well you must not love her too much considering how eager you were to ditch her. You practically came running to my pussy a few seconds after kicking her to the curb."
Fury filling him, Jax stepped close to Ima, glaring down at her with sheer hate in his gaze as he warned, "Don't you ever talk about Tara. Ever. Her name doesn't ever pass your lips again, whore. You think anything about that night was about you? Do you think I even remember it?"
At Ima's defiant gaze, Jax continued, "I was out of my fucking mind with worry for my son and my old lady. I was worried our enemies were going to kill her as easily as they took my son so I thought I was doing the right thing by pushing her away. You were just a tool for me to try and protect Tara. It was a mistake. Tara belongs with me. She's always belonged with me."
Stepping back again, wanting to put distance between him and the woman he'd hurt Tara so badly with, Jax stated, "Ima, I don't remember a thing about that night. I was too drunk and wasted, but you know what? I remember every fucking moment I've ever spent with Tara. I remember the very first time I kissed her when we were 11 on the playground. I remember the first time I told her I loved her when I was 16. I remember the first time I ever danced with her at our prom. The first time I woke up with her in my arms after taking her virginity. I remember every fucking moment I ever spent with Tara Knowles. But you? I got nothing. And that's because you're forgettable."
At Ima's angry expression, Jax drove the final nail in the coffin. "You're forgettable, Ima, because you're nothing more than a cum rag. A place for men to dump a load. And what is really sad about it all is you seem so proud of the fact you've made yourself into a disposable human being. You're proud of the fact you sell your pussy for money. My woman? My Tara? She's a fucking surgeon who has never had sex for any reason other than love. What I got with her is real. You're fucking nothing to me, so get your whore ass out of my clubhouse before I throw you out in the street myself. And don't you ever fucking come back."
Moving to stand beside Jax, Clay growled, "You heard him, cunt, get the fuck out of this clubhouse. And if you ever disrespect Tara again by coming around here Jax isn't the only one you'll need to worry about coming down on you. You don't fuck with Samcro, bitch, and Tara is Samcro."
"Damn right she is," Tig chimed in as he moved to stand with his Prez and VP. "Tara's with us, and we protect what's ours."
"Violently if necessary," Happy added. He might still be pissed about Tara knocking him around, but he wouldn't put up with this skank disrespecting her.
Moving to stand on the other side of her son, Gemma smirked at the younger woman and scoffed, "I told you that you weren't welcome here, whore, and now my son has said the same thing. This place is for Samcro and friends of, and you're neither. Now get the fuck out."
Never taking his hate filled gaze from the woman he despised so much and regretted ever setting eyes on, Jax ordered, "Hap, throw her out."
"Sure thing, VP." Moving forward to take hold of Ima's arm Hap growled, "Let's go. Now."
Ima tossed a heated glare over her shoulder as Happy dragged her out of the clubhouse. When she was gone Jax looked around and said, "Anyone ever disrespects my old lady and they'll have to answer to me. Is that understood?"
"You'll answer to every patched member of this club," Clay chimed in.
When there was a rumble of agreements, Jax turned back to the bar, expecting to see Tara there, and hoping his words had meant as much to her as they meant to him—but she wasn't there. Cursing he headed for Chucky's room. He didn't know what he was going to say to her, but he knew some begging was definitely in order.
Knocking on the door he pushed it open and poked his head in as he called, "Tara? Can I come in?"
Refusing to look at him as she dangled some play rings in front of Thomas who was giggling and swatting at them while sitting in her lap while Able finished his lunch at the small desk Chucky's room had, Tara asked, "And if I say no?"
Deciding not to answer that and instead entering the room to shut the door behind him, Jax quickly moved to sit beside his old lady on the bed and offered, "She's gone."
"You should go after her. I'm sure you'll find her just as comforting as last time."
She was refusing to look at him, and Jax pleaded, "Tara, please don't shut me out. I didn't know she'd show up here, and I made sure she understood she's never to come around here again."
"Jax, I don't want to talk about this. Certainly not in front of the kids. Besides, what you do in your free time is none of my concern. You're free to be with Ima or any girl you want."
"Tara, you're the only girl I want."
Finally raising her gaze to his, letting him see the tears in her eyes, her hurt and pain, Tara replied, "Well then I guess it's a shame you threw me away and ruined any chance we had at being together."
Seeing her pain, seeing her beautiful green eyes so filled with the hurt he had caused her, had Jax's heart aching. The need to take her in his arms was overwhelming, but he knew that Tara would not allow him to touch her now, which hurt him just as much. "Please don't say that, Tara, and please stop crying. I can't stand to see you cry, babe."
"Mommy's not crying, Daddy," Abel offered from the desk. "She's got something in her eyes. She gets something in her eyes a lot."
Abel's words nearly stopped Jax's heart. Hearing his son speak so innocently, revealing to him how often Tara cried over him, made him want to kick his own ass.
Ignoring Jax, Tara said, "Abel, finish your lunch so we can go get some ice cream."
"Yes, Mommy!"
Jingling the keys for Thomas and once again ignoring Jax, she ordered, "Go line up an escort for us, and then leave me alone. I don't want to look at you anymore today."
Jax debated with himself about staying and making her talk to him, but he figured after being holed up in the same room with Ima for two hours Tara would need some time to calm down. He didn't want to make things worse than they already were. So instead he stood and kissed the top of her head before she could stop him and headed back out into the clubhouse to get Happy and Rat. They would go with Tara and his boys while he headed back out with some of the others to go check out the first brothel they were looking to take over. A guy named Nero ran it, and rumor had it he was actually looking to retire. They'd come back to the clubhouse with the intent to grab a bite to eat before meeting up with this Nero guy, but he wanted to head out now. He needed to accomplish something good after Ima had rubbed his mistake of a night with her in Tara's face.
When he was gone Tara nuzzled Thomas's soft hair as she watched Abel finishing his sandwich and chips. Her heart hurt. She couldn't even begin to describe the way she'd felt when she'd watched Ima come waltzing into the clubhouse in her ridiculously high stilettos. It was like someone punched her in the gut and heart at the same time. She'd felt sick to her stomach. And when Ima had smiled at her and casually asked when Jax was getting back it had taken everything she'd had not to slam the bitch's face into the bar before crawling into a hole somewhere to break down. Instead she'd chosen to do the mature thing and simply ignore the whore while focusing on her children. Her kids. Abel and Thomas. They were all that was important to her. She would probably regret losing Jax for the rest of her life, but she had his sons. It was more than enough to keep her happy, because her whole life all she had ever wanted to be was Jax's wife and the mother to his children. She might have lost him, but she had his boys. They would keep her from succumbing to despair.
Heading into the bar Jax waved Happy over and said, "Tara wants to take the boys to get some ice cream. Since the meeting with the Mayans and Galindo went so well I want you to take them. Take Rat with you."
"Alright VP. Any idea on how long this lockdown will last?"
Shrugging his shoulders, Jax replied, "I doubt it will be more than a few days. So far it looks like everything is good. Mayans and Galindo are on board with the plan. We just need to make sure the Russians are really down and out. Once we know for sure where they are at we'll call off the lockdown."
Heading towards Clay and the others he asked, "You ready to head out?"
Gemma, worried at the fact Jax hadn't been in the back with Tara long enough to make shit right, asked, "How's Tara?"
When Jax merely shook his head at her, Gemma muttered, "Fuck," and headed to the back to offer the younger woman her support.
Watching his wife go for a moment Clay turned to glare at his stepson and growled, "You better get to making this right, son, because your mistakes are fucking up our family."
"Yeah they are," Tig added, glaring just as hard at Jax. Tara didn't deserve this shit. All she'd done was try to stand by her man, and what Jax had done to her didn't sit right with him.
"Lay off him, guys," Bobby insisted.
"Jackie boy knows he's fucked up," Chibs agreed. "He doesn't need you guys reminding him all the damn time."
Opie, just as pissed at Jax for what he'd done to Tara, but know Jax needed some support right now, stepped up and tried to relieve the tension by asking, "So I guess this means lunch is canceled?"
"I just want to get shit going," Jax said as he headed out of the clubhouse. He couldn't get the look that Tara had in her eyes out of his head. That broken, tear filled look of such disappointment and pain would haunt him forever. In this moment he hated himself. He hated himself so fucking much.
As the others began following Jax out of the clubhouse Lyla grabbed Opie's arm to stop him for a moment. "Hey, I want you to make time to talk to me tonight, ok?"
Searching his wife's eyes, Opie asked, "Everything ok?"
"Yeah. I—I just want to talk to you about me working at CaraCara."
A slow grin slowly spreading across his features, Opie asked, "Do you mean what I think you mean?"
Nodding her head, glad no one was paying attention to them, Lyla said, "Yes. I want out, Op. I don't ever want to be disposable. Not anymore."
"Hey," Opie soothed as he moved to take Lyla's face in his large hands. "You know Jax didn't mean any of that shit for you."
Looking up into the eyes of her husband, Lyla said, "I know, but it doesn't change the fact I sell my body for money, and I don't want to do it anymore."
"Good, because the club has an offer for you anyway. I was going to talk to you about it after we got off lockdown."
Eyes widening, Lyla asked, "Really? What kind of offer?"
"How do you feel about running CaraCara?"
"What about Dondo?"
"We only brought him in after Luanne died because we had no choice, but we're looking to expand our porn business in a major way. We're going to have more work than he can handle."
Grinning, Lyla replied, "I can't wait to hear about it." Leaning up to kiss him softly, she replied, "I'll see you later, big man."
"Looking forward to it." Opie returned Lyla's kiss before heading out of the clubhouse after his brothers. He was so glad Lyla was ready to leave porn. She had only been doing lesbian films since they got engaged, but he wanted her out from in front of the camera for good. He didn't love Lyla the way he'd loved Donna, but he knew could love her as much one day. They just had to get there, and her staying in porn had been a huge obstacle in their relationship.
Watching her husband go Lyla could only think, 'Maybe it is time to get off the pill? He really wants a baby, and we're married now. He's not going to abandon me like Piper's dad did.'
Heading back towards Chucky's room to see if Gemma and Tara wanted her around she thought, 'I need to stop comparing Opie to Piper's dad. They aren't the same at all. I keep waiting for things to go wrong, but Opie would never abandon me and Piper. He's too good a man.'
Outside as everyone started up the bikes while one of the prospects opened up the gates for them, Jax called out, "Need to make a stop before we head out of town."
"Where?" Clay asked.
Jax refused to answer and headed out of the lot with the others following him. He made his way through town before finding the store he was looking for. He knew his brothers wouldn't keep their mouths shut as he put his kickstand down and took off his helmet as he got off his bike.
"Ah, is Jackie boy getting some flowers for his lady?" Chibs knew he probably shouldn't tease Jax about the state of his relationship with Tara, but he couldn't help himself.
Jax's only response was to flip Chibs off over his shoulder as he pushed the flower shop door open. Seeing the pretty black woman behind the counter he greeted, "Hello, Ma'am, I need to get some flowers."
Mrs. Roosevelt, easily recognizing the Son before her, asked skeptically, "What kind of flowers?"
"Some that say I'm really fucking sorry, I'm an idiot, and please forgive me."
Unable to keep from laughing, Mrs. Roosevelt, replied, "Those pay the bills around here."
"I'm sure they do," Jax replied with a small smile. "So what have you got?"
"We have dozens of options." Pulling out her design book, she added, "We can do anything in here. They are organized from most expensive to least. I would suggest something from the first section if you're in real trouble with your girl."
"The biggest," Jax mumbled as he began thumbing through the different pages. After a moment he asked, "You got some kind of frequent flyer or rewards program? I think I'm going to be coming by here a lot."
Grinning, Mrs. Roosevelt offered, "How about this, after your first ten arrangements I'll give you 10% off each arrangement after that."
"Sounds good. I get to send notes with these right?"
"That's right."
Scanning the options Jax found one he thought would be best to start with and pointed at it as he said, "I'll start with this one for today."
Eyes widening at the arrangement he'd selected, a massive 100 long stem rose flower bouquet in a circular vase, Mrs. Roosevelt warned, "You realize that's a $350 arrangement, right?"
"Yeah, it should do for starters." Flipping through the book some more he said, "And I want these sent to her tomorrow."
Chuckling at the $380 Luxury Calla Lilly arrangement he'd pointed out, she said, "Ok. Is that it?"
"No. I want you to send her these the day after," Jax said, indicating another massive flower bouquet of roses and orchids."
"Anything else?"
"Yep." Jax quickly selected seven other arrangements to be delivered to Tara one day after the other. "For the next three days deliver all the arrangements to the Sons of Anarchy clubhouse. It's at—"
"I know where it is."
Seeing the woman's expression, and picking up on the fact she obviously knew him, Jax asked, "Do I know you?"
"Not me specifically, but I'm sure you know my husband."
"And he is?"
"Sheriff Roosevelt."
Jax went silent for a moment, appraising the woman in front of him, before asking, "Is me being here a problem for you?"
"You going to make trouble?"
"Just looking to get some flowers for my old lady."
"Hmm, well at least you're not trying to throw your weight around like your mother."
Grinning, Jax asked, "Ma was here?"
Nodding her head, Mrs. Roosevelt replied, "Yes. I've had the pleasure of meeting your mother."
"Was she here about her plants or did she come to make trouble?"
"A bit of both I suppose. She's definitely a woman to take seriously."
Shaking his head, Jax laughed, "That's one way to put it. Look, Ma just takes some getting used to."
"So she gets better upon acquaintance?"
"I wouldn't say that. She just takes some getting used to."
"I'll keep that in mind." Handing Jax the notes and envelopes for him to add to his flower orders she said, "Fill out your notes and put them in the order you want them delivered."
"Can I fill out the one for today and drop off the next tomorrow? Not sure what I'll need to say tomorrow. I'll probably fuck up again between now and then and need to beg for forgiveness for something else."
Arching a brow, Mrs. Roosevelt asked, "You mess up that bad?"
A sad look flashed through Jax's eyes before he controlled his features and replied, "Yeah, I did. Broke my old lady's heart."
"And you think flowers will fix it?"
"No, but I'm hoping it's a good start."
Smiling softly at the biker in front of her, Mrs. Roosevelt agreed, "Fill out your note for today, and you can drop the others off daily if you'd like, but know that our delivery driver leaves at 11:30 every morning. If you don't have the note here by then the flowers go out without them."
"Ok. Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays I'll need the flowers delivered to 3318 Highcourt Road on the outskirts of town after this week. The next three days deliver them to the clubhouse, but after that on those days they go to her house. The rest of the week have them delivered to the hospital. They are for Doctor Tara—"
"Knowles," Mrs. Roosevelt finished. At Jax's surprised expression she added, "We might be new here, but it didn't take us long to hear about you and your girl. Together since you were kids, right?"
"On and off. She left for awhile to become a doctor."
"A doctor and an outlaw biker. Quite a pair you two make."
"Yeah, I know I'm not good enough for her, but I plan to be."
At Mrs. Roosevelt's questioning gaze, Jax said, "Just—tell your old man that Sons are getting out of guns." When her eyes widened, whether in shock at his news or shock that he'd told her at all, he added, "Things are changing, Mrs. Roosevelt. There comes a time when a man has to decide what's most important to him."
"And what is most important to you?"
"My family."
Quickly writing out his note and handing it over to her along with the $2755 in cash to pay for all the flowers he'd ordered, Jax quickly swept up the other notes and envelopes and put them into the pocket inside his kutte and added, "Sons are headed in a new direction, Ma'am, a better one. One that will make my old lady proud of me."
Picking up the money Mrs. Roosevelt considered Jax Teller carefully before replying, "I guess we'll see. Her first arrangement will be delivered in a few hours. Don't forget to drop off tomorrow's note by 11:30am."
"I won't. You have a nice day, Mrs. Roosevelt."
When Jax teller left without another word she could only stare after him, considering his words to her. She couldn't help but think he meant what he said to her. Something in her eyes had made her think that Jax Teller was a different sort of man than she'd assumed he'd be. After counting to make sure he'd given her the correct amount of cash she added the money to the register and made a note on his account that he got 10% off from here on out. With that she headed into the back to get started on Miss Knowles first arrangement and call her husband. She was sure he'd want to hear about her first interaction with the Prince of Charming.
Outside Jax growled, "Not one fucking word assholes. Not one fucking word."
The other guys just laughed as they all stared up their bikes and headed out of town towards Nero's brothel. The entire way Jax kept thinking about how he was going to begin making things right between him and Tara. He knew flowers weren't going to cut it. It would take a hell of a lot more than some pretty floral arrangements for Tara to forgive him. He just needed to figure out what.
A few hours later Tara was sitting at one of the tables in the clubhouse with Thomas in her lap while she helped Abel color one of the pictures in his coloring book, when one of the crow eaters interrupted her.
"Tara?"
Looking up at some young blonde she couldn't remember the name of, Tara asked, "What?"
"There is a delivery here. The guys at the front gate want to know if they should take it? I can't find Gemma so I thought I'd ask you."
"As long as it doesn't look like a bomb or anything it should be fine."
The crow eater smiled brightly as she assured, "It is most definitely not a bomb."
"Then bring it in."
Tara went back to coloring with Abel as she bounced Thomas on her knee but her attention was drawn back to the front of the clubhouse a few moments later as she heard the gasps from various people around her as Filthy Phil came towards her with a massive flower arrangement of red roses. "What is that?"
Smiling around the huge amount of flowers in his arms, Phil replied, "It's for you. Just came."
Tara could only gap at the flowers when Phil set them down on the table before her. She'd never seen such a huge display of flowers outside of a wedding. Seeing the card that said, "Tara," she cursed and thought, 'Fucking Jax. Like flowers are going to make me feel better.'
Reaching forward she snatched up the note, thoroughly aware of everyone watching her, and tore it open. "The first time I kissed you we were 11. You were wearing that blue jumper with the butterflies on it. Your hair was in pigtails, and Opie dared me to pull them, but I didn't. I kissed you. I don't know why I did. I just felt the need to kiss you instead. So I did. I've carried that memory for 20 years, and I'll carry it until the day I die. The only kisses that have ever mattered to me have been yours. Jax."
Tara couldn't have stopped the surge of emotions that rushed her at Jax's words if she had tried. She couldn't believe he remembered that. She couldn't believe that one moment in time was still with him. They hadn't even really been friends back then. It wasn't until they were 14 that they really started hanging out together instead of just passing each other in the hall or sitting next to each other in class. While she'd been pretty close with Opie, it was usually when no one was around, and she'd rarely spent time with Jax back then. Her close relationship with Opie had generally consisted of her knocking on his bedroom window at night when her father's drunken rages after her mother's death got to be too much and she'd needed to get away. He'd always let her in before crawling back into his bed while she climbed up to the top bunk, but he'd spent his days after school tearing around town with Jax while she buried herself in books.
So she couldn't contain her shock and the sheer pleasure that shot through her as Jax let her know he still remembered that afternoon on the playground. The day she'd started falling head over heels in love with Jax Teller. She'd never dreamed he would remember that moment, but with his own writing he'd proven to her he had. Needing to get away before she completely lost it, she called, "Lyla?"
"Yeah?"
Handing Thomas to her, Tara asked, "Will you watch the boys for me for a moment?"
"Sure thing."
Kissing each of her boys on the cheek Tara clutched her note closely to her chest and walked from the clubhouse main room towards Chucky's bedroom. She wouldn't let anyone see her cry. She couldn't stand for any of them to see her weak again. Once she was safely behind the closed door of Chucky's bedroom she let her tears fall while reading over Jax's note to her again and again. Sliding down the door to sit on the floor she buried her face in her hands and sobbed. How was she supposed to get over Jax when he did things like this? When he reminded her how much a part of her he really was?
"Fucking Jax, and his fucking pretty words, and his stupid fucking flowers!"
She wished she didn't love him this much. She wished she didn't ache and yearn for him every second of the day. She wished so fucking much he hadn't destroyed them like he had, but mostly she wished he hadn't made her fear him. Hadn't made her afraid to love him or be loved by him. As her tears continued to fall she found her fingers smoothing over his surprisingly elegant handwriting, memorizing the words he'd written her, she couldn't help thinking, 'But maybe he can save us too?'
