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Ch. 7 – Restless

During Biology class, I kept peeking sideways at Edward and trying not to giggle when I realized he was doing the same. I almost didn't notice when a gust of wind blew through the door and ruffled his hair. I could smell his blood, pulsing hot and wet under his thin layers of skin. I tasted excess venom in the back of my throat, and I immediately became serious again and looked toward Mr. Banner. I would have to go out and hunt again as soon as Charlie returned.

I drove home in a buoyant mood. I didn't know myself anymore, the person I had become. Who was she? I had no idea, but I didn't care. I liked her so much more than who I had been before.

My life had turned into the books I read. The only difference was that it was real. Having friends. People who like you for who you are, not just your external beauty. People who treat you like everyone else because they don't know better. And I was not about to change that.

I darted inside, grabbed a book, and sprinted deep into the forest. But I didn't read it. Instead I lay down on the soft dirt and stared up at the green canopy above me decorating the edges of the vast blue sky. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, letting the air fill up my lungs.

I don't know how long I lay there. Edward drifted in and out of my thoughts, and after a while I could've sworn the inside of my eyelids turned vivid green.

I began to question all his actions. Why was he being so kind to me? Did he really truly like me? Was it just my beauty that appealed to him? Or was he just being considerate to someone who was sitting alone and didn't appear to have any friends? Why wasn't he listening to his instincts and staying away from me?

How long would this friendship last?

I needed to know. Everything. Even my ability to sit patiently as time passed quickly didn't help. I quickly became restless. I had to know why. Why so many things. It actually became a physical pain: lack of knowledge. The pain overcame me.

Without thinking twice, I began to run. I would follow his scent. I had no idea what this would achieve, but I had to see him. As if that would help me find the answers to my questions.

"What's the big rush? Why do I care so much what he thinks? What could possibly be making me feel so urgent?" I mused as I ran. I felt like I was missing something obvious, something that I should've realized by now, something that I already subconsciously knew but I did not fully comprehend. The ground slipped by under my feet as I traced his scent down a long road, a long driveway, and I kept running.