Summary: Dr. Kirkland, after a long string of events, finds himself shuttled into the dusty old town of Sandy Flats, adjusting to the hilarious characters, dark villains, and charming heroes of a classic but eccentric Western town.

Pairings: USUK, PRUCAN, GERITA, SPAMANO, HUNGAUST, possible GIRIPAN.

Warnings: Yaoi/Boys-Love, heavy language and possible suggestive situations. Minor violence.

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Chapter Seven: A Formal Affair

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Arthur had to admit, the atmosphere was pleasant, the people kind, the drink rather strong, and he had an odd feeling that Elizaveta might prey on him at any moment, but he tried to quash that sort of thought upon recognition. Candles upon chandeliers, with thick streams of wax threatening to fall on the mingling crowd illuminated the room, giving off a soft, warm glow. It was all very warm, and everyone looked positively golden in the candlelight, jostling and joking and laughing. The doctor had to admit that even Alfred, who had bumped into him and nearly spilled wine all over the both of them, looked quite sharp. He had lost Matthew somewhere in the crowd, and was now admiring Elizaveta's porcelain collection, which, he noted, was more used, but hardly as pretty as Alfred's.

"Arthur! There you are, c'mon, there's someone we've got to find. You'll get along smashingly, his name is Kiku, he's rather short, and just as hermity and stodgy as you, so don't get all worked up, he's got to be in here somewhere!" Matthew appeared out of no where seemingly, set the doctor's wine down on the buffet, and yanked him into the crowd. Tall men laughed, their accents and words muffled and joined in interesting, civilised, formal conversation. Arthur had never felt so at home in this foreign Western town, noting that perhaps even Sandy Flats had a bit of class when it cared to.

"Where is this man again…?" Arthur asked, turning around and bumping into someone who was certainly not Matthew. He was a little taller, his jacket a little darker, hair a little wilder, a little shorter.

"…Howdy?" Arthur wanted to hit himself, or at least choke and drown in the wine that he had left on the buffet. Not this – this foolish cowboy! How – Matthew would be dead meat when he found him. He knew how much his brother annoyed him! "What, ya gonna stand there like a fish…?"

The Brit blinked and snorted, turning a light pink and looking away. "No, I didn't mean to run into you." Alfred grinned – what for, Arthur was sure he would never know – and pulled him into a tight circle of people talking. Feeling rather short next to Alfred, Ludwig, Antonio, and whom he could only assume was Roderich, due to the way that Elizaveta was cooing and clinging to his arm, giggling every now and then. Arthur wasn't sure if he was disgusted or simply shocked; she had seemed so… dominant and masculine back at the campsite, but now she seemed nothing more than a pretty housewife to the stoic Roderich. Truly, the man looked ill, with his hair parted oddly and flung wildly over his head, a strand skewering off into space, his violet outfit looking gaudy, expensive, and extraneous due to the not-so-brilliant colours that everyone else wore.

"Ah, Dr. Kirkland, please let me introduce myself. I am Mr. Roderich Edelstein, and this is my wife- " The brunette began, but was cut off sharply by his wife's commanding but subtle tone.

"Ms. Elizaveta Herdevary, we've met before, Roddy. See this is why I simply insist that you attend those little campfires; you miss out on meeting so many people instead of sitting around all day playing that piano or writing memoirs!" Roderich scowled, but only Arthur recognised it as such, for it was merely a toying of his lips, and only Arthur had enough experience with scowling to note it.

"I do not believe that now is the proper time to discuss this matter. Perhaps after dinner – "

"No, darling, you must promise me now that you will be at the next one!"

There was a long pause, in which Ludwig and Alfred were making (one sided) conversation, and Arthur was left to stand awkwardly and listen to Alfred laugh at his own joke.

"Fine, but just one." Elizaveta giggled and cocked her head to the side, shooting Arthur her one-sided predatory smirk that gave his spine a cold chill. For a lady, Elizaveta seemed more intimidating than any of those loose-canon cowboys.

The conversation returned, prickling tension gone as Alfred waved his arms around, knocking several goblets of wine over and nearly hitting Francis' face, but by the way that he paused and sneered, drawl sounding rather dangerous in his apology, Arthur wasn't sure that he was all that upset about nearly knocking the Frenchman out cold. The Brit snickered to himself, and was glad that no one heard it over the din of the party. Eventually, Ludwig and Antonio went off to search for the Italian brothers, who were making a bit of a ruckus near the pork. Elizaveta and Roderich began to bicker again, leaving Arthur and Alfred to make awkward conversation on their own.

Silence had never seemed so loud. Arthur stared at his feet and watched them shuffle and fidget, holding his cup of wine – when had he gotten it? – a bit tighter than necessary, remembering Matthew's joke about the two of them shagging after Francis nearly drugged the doctor. Alfred rubbed the back of his neck nervously, observing the corners of the ceiling as if they were the most interesting things in the room. One of them coughed, but neither was quite sure which it was. Arthur had the sneaking suspicion that Matthew had taunted Alfred as well, and wondered if it was considered kosher conversation to discuss the blonde and the rumours he was undoubtedly spreading. Bless the Queen, his reputation to shreds!

"… Do ya like cows…?"

Arthur looked up, raising an eyebrow and biting back a chuckle. "Cows?"

Now, Alfred shuffled. They appeared to be performing an odd sort of dance. "Yea, cows."

The Brit scoffed. "I'm more partial to horses. I'd rather fancy a ride than a steak."

"I can show ya mah horse some time, she's a real beauty."

Arthur felt his cheeks grow hot at the suggestion, though he had no idea why, and wished it away. "That sounds very... pleasant."

Alfred laughed and leaned forward to prod Arthur's nose in a completely socially inappropriate manner – really, had he no manners? – before letting out another loud guffaw. "You're kinda cute when you go all red."

Arthur had never heard something so ridiculous.

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Don't get your hopes up; I like to tease.