AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm not going to lie, it was equally amazing and terrifying to hear your thoughts about the last chapter. Love how everyone has Haley's back and wants Nathan to suffer, haha! I hope this chapter clears a few things up like how Haley dealt with the breakup, etc. Thank you again for the awesome feedback and support!
"You told him what?!"
"It's true, Brooke. Why would I want to hear what he has to say?"
Brooke frowned. "Because it's the first time you've seen the guy since he broke up with you totally out of the blue?" She suggested. "Don't you want an explanation?"
Haley sighed. She was exhausted. After meeting Clay and attempting some small talk, she'd eventually asked Brooke to drop her back home. Quinn, who had assured Haley that she was also dealing with the surprise of her boyfriend being best friends with Nathan, had kissed her on the cheek and promised to visit the next day, but Haley hadn't been able to get out of filling Brooke in on everything that had happened on the balcony.
"What would be the point? We've moved on."
It was easy to say that - even Haley was sane enough to know that hanging onto the memory of a high school relationship was futile. It had taken her a long time to outwardly pull herself together after Nathan had coldly and abruptly ended their relationship. It had almost been embarrassing how weak she'd been, how hard it was to accept Stanford and her future there. Quinn, Peyton and Brooke had all received their fair share of tearful calls until, slowly, Haley knew she had to pull herself together and stop burdening her friends with her pathetic longing for the past - Nathan didn't care about her or her future, he only cared about himself and his dreams. So, she threw herself into her classes, deciding to study music as well as education, and moved on the best she could.
There was no point hanging onto the what-ifs or the whys. The only relationship she'd had that made her heartbeat rival a hummingbird's and her skin tingle like fireworks in the night had ended, and Nathan Scott had no place in her thoughts. She'd known, even before she'd laid eyes on him again, that she had nothing to say to him and didn't want to hear anything that he had to say to her.
"Have you?" Brooke asked, quietly. "Have you moved on, truly? I mean, you don't let us talk about him, you've barely had a serious relationship since you left high school..."
"What do you mean?" Haley interrupted, indignantly. "I've had relationships!"
It wasn't a lie. It had taken until the end of her second year at college before she would even date, but it wasn't as if she had sworn off men as a result of Nathan's heartless actions. In her fourth year, at 22, she'd lost her virginity to a nice, quiet computer science major named Brandon who she'd met in the library and had dated for eight months before she didn't feel the same desire to preserve her sexual innocence anymore. There hadn't been fireworks, or even toe-curling pleasure, but he had been kind and gentle - and a virgin as well. She hadn't been upset when his grad school plans forced him to move away and their relationship came to a natural conclusion.
"Look, Hales, I know you've been dating more recently lately but apart from that boring nerd in college -" Haley humphed, mildly offended on Brandon's behalf - "you've had, what? Two relationships that have made it past four months? It's just... ever since Nathan, you've been playing it safe. It's like you haven't let go of him, so you haven't even tried to find anyone who could possibly make you feel the way he did. I mean, you said it yourself last week at dinner, what you're looking for in The One... that was your and Nathan's high school relationship all over, yet you've been dating guys who are the complete opposite of him, whether you realize it or not."
"Uh, yeah..." Haley widened her eyes to state the obvious. "Because Nathan was a total jerk when I met him, loaded with issues, awful to Luke and everyone... and sure, he changed and all, but he still dumped me with absolutely no warning, no chance to talk. Why would I want a repeat of that?"
"He's not the same guy anymore, Haley. Maybe if you gave him the chance to explain..."
"And what? Ease his guilt over treating me like crap and acting as if our relationship meant nothing to him? And I'm not forgetting that you and Lucas haven't mentioned him once to me in all these years. You could have told me he'd moved back to Tree Hill."
"It's not like it's been easy for us!" Brooke exclaimed, defensively. "They're brothers and Nathan's really needed Lucas. Heck, even I've grown to love the stupid lug over the years... We worked out pretty early on that we could be better friends to both of you if we just didn't mention the other. I mean, look what happened when you heard about the draft..."
Haley bit her lip in embarrassment, remembering when Lucas, proud and excited on behalf of his brother, had told her that Nathan had been drafted to the NBA. She'd ached with some strange, wistful nostalgia finding out that Nathan had achieved everything he'd worked so hard towards, and had wasted too much time and energy hurting over the life he was about to start without her. It had taken her a couple of weeks to get over her funk - the only blip she'd had since making the decision to move on from Nathan Scott - but it had been awkward and embarrassing for her best friend to see how much the news had affected her.
"That was, what? Nearly seven years ago, Brooke. It's not like I've been pining over him." Haley sighed, heavily. "And I don't blame you or Luke for anything. I know it must have been hard..."
Brooke pulled up in front of Haley's apartment building and gave her a searching look. "We're always going to be here for you, Tutor Girl. No matter what. But if you're as happy as you say you are, and you're truly not scared of finding someone who will make you happy and not hurt you, then it wouldn't hurt to just hear Nathan out. It'd make things a lot easier, with everyone back in Tree Hill again."
"It's not like I'm going to make a big scene if I have to sit next to him at your wedding, Brooke."
"Oh please, any scene you can make, Bitchtoria can and will make a bigger one," the bride-to-be rolled her eyes. "I don't care about the wedding, Haley, I care about you. I want you to stop going on these dates with losers, I don't want you to feel hurt or anything if you see Nathan again. You deserve that... maybe talking to him will help"
Haley's thoughts flitted to the online flirtation she'd started with Devil12. She hadn't told anyone else about him yet - not that it was anyone else's business, but she liked keeping the feelings he created close to her chest. He had been adamant about the pair taking their time to get to know each other and he'd seemed almost insecure, wanting them to build a strong friendship online before they thought about meeting. It suited Haley fine; she loved their nightly conversations and the connection they had already, there was no need to jump into anything too soon. She realized that he certainly wasn't like the usual boring men she'd dated - he was cheeky and bold, brave and flirtatious. He made her feel like the girl she once was, the girl she was with Nathan only more experienced and mature.
"Thanks, Tigger. I'll think about it, okay?" Haley pulled herself from her thoughts and placated her friend, grabbing her purse and pulling Brooke into a one-armed hug. "Drive home safe, give Luke a kiss from me."
Brooke waved as she drove off, and Haley let herself into her apartment. It wasn't until she had washed her makeup off and slipped into some comfortable shorts and a tank that she looked at her phone as she slid into the sliver of bed that Catsby had allowed her.
You have (1) new MyMessage!
Haley didn't even notice the smile that had automatically stretched itself across her face as she tapped her screen, eager to end her night on a happier note.
Happy Friday, Halo. How's your day gone?
Haley laughed at the question; how could she answer that? I saw my high school ex-boyfriend tonight for the first time in ten years and my body felt like it was lit on fire because he's grown into such a sexy man he makes both Hemsworth brothers look like clowns?
It's been a long day, but at least it's over now. How was your day? She typed instead.
Yeah, I've had one of those days, too. Anything you'd like to talk about?
Haley smiled. The pair just seemed to understand each other. She knew that he would listen to anything she had to say to him, but equally he would respect if she didn't want to share. With her earlier conversation with Brooke twirling in her brain, she quickly typed, How do you know if you're over someone?
Well, if I'm over someone, it means that there's someone underneath me telling me not to stop ;-)
Rolling her eyes, Haley couldn't help but laugh. There was that cocky horn dog side to Devil12 that she couldn't help find amusing... and a little hot.
Seriously though, I guess it's a tough one to answer because everyone is different.
It's just my best friend thinks I still have feelings for my ex. I don't know how to convince her otherwise.
Do you need to convince her, or yourself?
Haley frowned at his reply. It was a good point. She'd been adamant that she'd gotten over Nathan a long time ago, but was Brooke right? Had she been dating men who were so different from Nathan because she didn't want to get hurt again? Men who couldn't and wouldn't challenge her or complete her or make her fall in love with them because she knew, deep down, that only Nathan could make her feel like that? It was hard to dredge up feelings she'd tried to repress a decade ago and what made it harder was how she'd reacted to being back in Nathan's presence again tonight. Even before she knew it was him, her body had erupted like a volcano, throwing intense sensations down her body like molten hot lava. It hadn't been simply a reaction of shock then; she didn't know who she'd rushed past, she hadn't even laid eyes on the older, undeniably and sinfully attractive man he'd grown into.
Thoughtfully pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth, Haley typed slowly, for once thinking about what she was writing.
When I was with him, he made me feel so special. Like I was brave and I could do anything, like I was the most desirable girl in the room. He could have had anyone he wanted, but it was me he chose. He was so strong, but he had this goofy, vulnerable side that I got to see as well. He wanted to protect me, he lit a fire inside of me. No one has made me feel that way since him... I think a part of me thinks I'll never have that feeling again.
I don't think that means you're not over him, he won't be the only person out there that will make you feel that way.
Haley sighed, nodding even though she knew he couldn't see her through the screen. She was about to start typing when more words appeared underneath the first message.
Does it hurt when you see him with someone else? Do you think about him when you're with another man?
Haley chewed hard on her trapped lower lip. The men she'd dated, no matter how short a time for, weren't even in the same category as Nathan to bear comparing. If she'd dated someone more stubborn, more challenging, even someone with as many issues as Nathan had to carry back in high school, she knew the comparisons would only be natural, and that her ex-boyfriend would win every time. More importantly, did wanting nothing to do with Nathan mean she was avoiding having to deal with hurt or jealousy? She was certain Nathan hadn't wasted any time jumping into bed with the first willing girl, especially after being with her - and without sex - for so long. She'd shut down any chance to think about him because the hurt had been unbearable; would she still feel that way, 10 years later? Could she manage being acquaintances with him now, knowing how often their paths would cross or that she could possibly see him with a date around Tree Hill? She didn't know, because she hadn't wanted to deal with him when he wanted to talk.
Glancing at her phone screen, Haley saw that Devil 12 had messaged again. I get what it's like having an ex that made you feel like the best version of yourself. My ex was amazing, when we were together it was like I felt so alive for the first time ever. It was like being hit by lightning... but lightning doesn't strike in the same place twice so I just have to come to terms with not ever having that again.
Okay, I know what you mean but actually, there's no scientific reason why lightning can't strike the same place twice, Haley couldn't help but reply. It can even happen in the same thunderstorm, multiple times. Tall skyscrapers are especially susceptible to multiple bolts of lightning.
Devil12's reply came back almost immediately. Haha, you really are a nerd, aren't you Halo?
Hey! I'm not a nerd! I'm a teacher!
Haley marveled at the way he was able to banter with her so easily; it wasn't the first time she'd served him with some sort of useless fact and he'd teased her for being unable to take off her teacher's hat when she was at home.
Don't worry, I happen to find your nerdiness very attractive :-)
And there went the butterflies, a whole swarm of them fluttering away in her stomach. Haley's lips tugged up in a smile, her teeth relinquishing their painful hold.
Look, Halo, all I know is that all I can do is try and be a better man on my own because one day I'll find another woman who deserves that, too. And you'll find that man who makes you feel even more than your ex did. You said it yourself - lightning can strike twice. I just hope that you believe it, because I know we're only just getting to know each other and I know we're taking things slow, but I would really like the chance to be that lightning bolt for you... but I can't do that if you're not over your ex.
Devil's message caused Haley to suck in a lungful of air. He was unlike anyone she'd ever met before - even though she knew that she hadn't actually "met" him, yet. He was funny and sexy, but the night's conversation had shown her that he had a deeper, sensitive side to him as well. He was mature, he clearly thought about things and learned from mistakes. He was trying to improve on himself, for someone else. And he wanted that someone else to be her.
She wanted that, too.
There was only way to clear things up, to move forward and give her connection with Devil12 a chance.
She was going to have to talk to Nathan.
