Sorry it's been so long but I've rewritten it several times to get it perfect. Hope it works. Please review and let me know. Idril xxx

7. Revelation

"So this was betrayal. It was like being left alone in the desert at dusk without water or warmth. It left your mouth dry and will broken. It sapped your tears and made you hollow." ― Anna Godbersen

Marley POV

My fingers shook as we waited in the whitewash hospital corridor, not for the first time wondering what the hell I was doing. Did I really want to risk going through all that again? I could still remember vividly the burning in my stomach as if a hot poker was ripping through my abdomen. But as I watched a woman holding her daughter's hand as they headed passed us, I wanted that badly. More badly than I'd let onto anyone, even Spence. I loved being a Mom to Jack but I wanted a baby of my own. Spencer suddenly gripped my hand tightly in his and rubbed thumb against mine.

"Thank you." I whispered quietly and brought our conjoined hands up so I could kiss the fleshy part of his hand between his thumb and first finger. He smiled at me but I could see the fear in his eyes; I guess watching me nearly die hadn't been too great of an experience for him either.

"Reid." A middle age Doctor in a navy pinstriped suit that reminded me slightly of Aaron beckoned us to follow him; the stern exterior actually calmed me down as I clutched Spence's hand and entered a slightly less clinical office than I'd been expecting. "I'm Dr Steinbeck, please have a seat."

His office was much like Aaron's with the black leather chairs, large oak desk and bookshelves lined with thick volumes, the only difference being the files on his desks contained medical files rather than cases.

"So I've read through your notes and I understand that you had an ectopic pregnancy over two years ago, and now you want advice about trying again?" He gave a weak smile that I think was meant to reassure us as Spencer squeezed my hand. "Well, I think that, medically, you're in a strong position. You're young, healthy and you've waited for a considerable length of time. Some studies indicate that those who wait over two years have a higher rate of a successful pregnancy."

"Do you believe the studies?" Spencer asked.

"Sixty five per cent of couples go on to have a successful pregnancy and those that wait on average seem to have more success." Spencer nodded happily; he was in his element with statistics.

"What are the chances of it happening again?" My voice was barely above a whisper as I squeezed Spencer's hand until one of his knuckles popped. He grasped the top of my hand with his other and rubbed my fingers to calm me down. Managing to not to let out a groan as I clutched him tighter than even I thought possible.

"I understand your fears and I'd love to be able to tell you conclusively that it would not happen again but sadly there is a chance of a repeat. Around one third of women experience a repeat ectopic pregnancy."

"Oh." I closed my eyes against the wave of nausea at the idea of going through the pain and heartache again.

"That means that two thirds of women go on to have one or more successful pregnancies. You're young and healthy which makes a big difference. Early detection is the key, that way if you do suffer another ectopic pregnancy it won't be as… dangerous as the last one."

"But she never…. There were never any signs or symptoms." Spencer gripped my hand, getting his own back for my earlier bone braking grip; I risked a glance at his face and saw pure unadulterated fear brimming on the surface of his eyes. I wondered what it had been like, watching me fight for life yet again. I remembered back to that dark night in that shackled room as the bullet had thudded down by my head and I'd believed he was dead. I shuddered. That had been the worst part of the whole thing; thinking the love of my life was dead because of me.

"It is true that you had an atypical pregnancy but that doesn't necessarily mean it will happen again. You weren't trying for a baby were you?" He surmised and I shook my head in confirmation. "If you're actively trying you'll be monitoring yourself and once you've tested positive you'll be referred to our early testing unit for a check-up. If nothing has happened after a year then we will re-evaluate and do some more tests. Don't worry, Mrs Reid, you'll be well looked after."

I still clung to Spencer as we left the consult; leaning into his warmth as he quickened our pace towards the outside world. God I hated hospitals.

"What do you think?" I asked quietly as we breached the final gateway into the warming early morning air.

"I know you're scared, Baby, but I think, I think it could be alright. If you want too." He stammered, bouncing my hand in his.

"We'd be careful. Two thirds are okay." I said, nerves clutching at my stomach, pulling at the scars that lined my stomach but not enough to stop me; maternal desire pumping desperately through my veins.

"We'll be careful." He repeated before pressing his lips gently against mine.

"We're going to do it." I smiled nervously at him before pulling him in for a deeper kiss. His phone began vibrating in his front pocket. Our appointment had been early in the morning; too early for Morgan or one of the team to be worrying where Spencer was and why he was late. That meant only one thing; a case.

"Hotch?" Reid asked, sighing as he pulled me into a hug, resting his chin on my forehead as I breathed in Spencer's scent; knowing it would be a while before I was with him again. "We'll be right there." He disconnected the phone before nudging me gently in the side so I'd look up into his eyes. "It must be bad as we're briefing on the plane. I need to get you to Hotch's."

"Be careful." I whispered before pulling at of his embrace and following him to our beat up car that looked lonely in the large car park. I clung to Spencer's hand, I really hated his job; the danger, the days and weeks apart. But Spencer loved it, he liked saving people. And really who could begrudge him that?

Aaron was worryingly grave as he opened the door, go bag already in hand, he turned back to hug Jack before motioning for Spencer to head out the door. He grabbed my arm as he headed passed me and pulled me close so he could whisper in my ear without Jack hearing. He was the only person that we'd told about seeing a specialist; I felt bad that I put so many of our personal problems on him, but he was my, our, because let's face it he meant just as much to Spence as he did to me, surrogate Father. Thankfully he accepted his role in our lives in the same way that he approached every situation; with grim determination and the rare hint of humour. And for that I would always be truly thankful.

"Was everything alright?"

"Yeah it was okay." I smile and his face pulled up at the corners into a grim smile.

"We'll talk about this later, I promise but I really have to go." I nodded and hugged him before watching him walk out the apartment, leaving me alone with Jack who was sat curled up on the sofa, watching the door forlornly. I ran a hand through his soft hair making him look up and give me a tired smile. I remembered Aaron mentioning they'd been to Jess' last night for dinner so they probably hadn't got in till late; Jack still got grouchy when he didn't keep to his bedtime.

"Have you had breakfast, baby" I asked as I continued to stroke his hair, watching the colourful cartoons to try and calm myself down; I always hated when they went, the adrenaline pumped through me as I waited for news. I knew it was stupid, they hadn't even made it to the airstrip but I wanted to know they'd caught him already.

"Chocolate chip pancakes?" He turned and offered me a cheeky smile, waking up suddenly at the prospect of a holiday treat. I raised an eyebrow, trying to quell the smile that was tugging at the corners of my lips. He sensed the game I was playing and instantly sprinted to the kitchen, throwing open the cupboard that contained the mixture. "Come on Marley."

"Coming baby."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I suppose it was a symbol of our married life to come that our first marriage anniversary, two days later, was spent with Spencer on a case. Our fears that the case was bad was sadly proven right; while he never told me much about cases I knew this one was truly horrendous, it had made every bulletin of the national news. Five married men taken in a few weeks. I'd brought it up a few times in our nightly phone calls but he never exaggerated; apart from the rules I guess he didn't want to drag me into that world. I missed him even more than I thought I would; it felt like I'd gone back in time, sleeping at Aaron's and looking after Jack. Not that I minded having some quality time with Jack and Jesse; we'd had movie nights, park outings and ice cream for dinner. Usually I wasn't quite such a benevolent Nanny; during school time I was the usual "Do your homework", "Brush your teeth", "Don't answer back" Mother figure but it was summer and both of us wanted to enjoy ourselves. Today however I was on my own since Jack had a play date with Amelia who he was adamant was not his girlfriend no matter how much we all teased him about it. Amelia's Mother was one of the meaner parents at Jack's school which would have clouded my whole morning; there were only so many times you could smile when someone called you "white trash." Thankfully she also had a Nanny and would be at work until late at one of the big fancy law firms that Aaron had escaped from. I pulled over to the curb and stopped the car but before I got out my phone lit up on the dashboard; I must have left it on silent after the cinema last night.

"Hey Baby" I grinned; we hadn't had much time to talk recently so I treasured every phone call.

"Have you spoken to Jesse today?" He sounded panicky, I could hear his harsh breathing down the phone. My blood turned to ice, surely if anything had happened to my brother than I would have heard first. Right?

"No, why?"

"He sent me a death threat."

"He did what? Why?!" I yelled causing Jack to jump in the seat behind me.

"I don't know! I just got a text saying I was dead and he won't answer any of my calls." I listened to the shudder in his voice; knowing how much he loved my… our family and would never do anything to threaten them.

"He's probably still drunk from last night or something; he was staying over at one of his friends places. Either that or they stole his phone. Take no notice, I'll call him later. Love you baby."

"Love you too." I rolled my eyes as I hung up, wondering who else had been on the receiving end of my brother's drunken mind. I was about to slide the phone in my pocket when I noticed I'd had six missed calls throughout the morning; from everyone from my Dad to Kate. I was about to investigate further, wondering what the hell was going on today, but Jack was already pulling his seatbelt off, looking forward to spending the day with his friend. I shoved my phone back in my pocket, I was seeing Kate soon enough anyway; we were going shopping and getting some lunch. Something a bit different to keeping a young boy entertained. Jack raced up the white stone steps to the imposing front door but looked apprehensively at me to ring the bell. Despite liking Amelia he wasn't all too keen on her parents, I wasn't even sad that he'd picked it up from me. Estelle, a petite Dutch girl with a severe blonde bob was the latest Nanny to grace the residence, there had to have been at least ten in the time I'd lived with Aaron. She was sweet enough and I hoped she'd last longer than the last one; a meagre three months had to have been a record, even in that household. Estelle opened the door and Jack immediately ran inside to find Amelia, not even a backward glance.

"How was your wedding?" Estelle asked as she led me into the kitchen where Megan, Amelia's oldest sister was sat reading a pile of celebrity magazines.

"Great thanks, how are you?"

"Good, having a nice time with the children. We've been to the park every day this week."

"We're going to the cinema on Friday." Megan piped up as she finished her latest magazine.

"Nice, I wouldn't mind that myself." I joked. "What's happening in the celebrity world then?"

"Not much really. Lila Archer's on the front page of almost every one kissing some man, he's cute though." Megan giggled. "They were friends before by the sound of it; he's been photographed with her before. After she had the nut- job stalker."

The floor seemed to fall out from under me. The threat, the random phone calls. Please don't be true. He wouldn't… he couldn't do this. He was one of the good guys. The best guy. He wasn't going to kiss someone else one month after we married. I couldn't look at the stack of magazines. Partly out of fear and partly out of denial. I knew, knew, he wouldn't do that. So what was the point of looking because it would be some random man. Not my husband.

Not Spencer.

But….

"I'm ah… I'm really sorry but I'm late. I'll pick Jack up later. Bye." I practically raced from the house. Trying not to cry because it wasn't him, it wasn't Spencer. I was just being paranoid. It wasn't him. It wasn't. I slid into the car, tears blurring my vision as I gulped back a sob. Don't be stupid, it's not him! I wrenched my phone from my pocket to find three new calls. At that point I would have preferred to hear something truly horrendous; car accident, missing person. Anything but the betrayal that was trying to force its way to the forefront of my mind.

"Please tell me it's not him Dad. Please tell me." I begged without so much as a hello.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm so so sorry."