One Piece: Status Quo Pirate Style
Chapter 07
In numero uno
I yawned and stretched getting up from where ever I was "Shit." I have no idea where I am "Mother of all Fuckery! Where am I!" A door at the end of the room opened. I blinked as this blue haired chick came in and looked at me for a second before running out ⁿThis could be very bad we need to fight and get out!ⁿ I nodded along to what the Ace like voice was saying. *Or they could of saved us from something and we should hear them out.* the Sabo like voice was also making since. •Maybe we should see what their like!• I blinked at the Luffy voice "Wait a new one?" Someone came in. I ignored them as I started checking my mental landscape 'That looks good, that needs some fixing, Holy Shit! When did I get a building in this place?!' "I yi yi! Just more work for me...or maybe Sabo! Yeah! I pawn this off on Hats!" I looked up as a cough sounded from the guy who had come in.
"Yo! Who's beith thy! My names Elwood! Or Joker! An Clubs! Plus Captain. Now you can call me whatever!" The guy was tall with black hair and dark brown eyes. "I am Dragon, the owner of this ship." I nodded "So what happened. I wouldn't have willingly got on yer boat if I had a choice. An I know my brothers wouldn't have left me alone." The man sat down in a chair. "I found your 'circus' on the edge of Dawn Island drugged and beaten. I picked all of you up and had you treated but well I was retrieving you something happened." I blinked and closed my eyes. Thinking all the way back to the trip from the docks I ran through it until the blank patch the end was where I got my answer.
"I woke up well heavily drugged and attacked you. But what made you so worried was that I passed out after drawing yer blood." He nodded. "It's a unconscious reflex I have so I don't hurt people. If I recognize the persons smell as a ally I'll fall unconscious before I permanently injure them." Dragon lend forward. "How can you tell I am an ally?" I tilted my head before hopping up and making a huge scene with the loudest noise I could create. The nurses and others came running down the hall and into the room ready for a battle "That's why Revvy! They wouldn't of come to protect me if I was a enemy." I skipped to the confused people with a smile that could make Whitebeard wiery.
"I want to see my crew. I hope yer takin good care of em!" The high pitch my voice became just help me get wanted. I heard a howl of laughter that I knew only one person could make "Out ah mah way boys!" I jumped and easily cleared all of them. Charging down the hall I felt them just behind probly trying to stop me "Hyenas Howl!" The shout echoed bouncing off the walls and turning into a cackle. I got to the deck and spun around to face the fools that wanted me to stay "Ahahahahahahahaha! Jes yah gots ta meet these boys! Their more persistent then those CD guards!" I heard a returned laugh. "Shihashashashashas! Yah gots that right Jo!" The crew flipped, fell, and even rolled from the rigging I looked up as Luffy swung down well upside down.
I smiled as he did a Summersault to land next to me "Are we gonna go now!?" I frowned and crossed my legs well sitting mid air. "I dahpins on if these lovely normals are willin tah take us home! I would love to be their hostess after all they helped us!" I stood back up and smiled at Dragon. He stared back "Why." I blinked and snapped my fingers before pulling out Sabos top hat and snapping it open. "Give me ah sec!" Shoving my hand into it I dug around before grunting well pulling with all my might until Sabo popped out. I fell backwards well the bastard just stood there with the hat in one hand well twirling his pipe with the other. "Yes? The only reason I'm not actively making you sit in the Red Queens Garden is because we've all been worried Elwood." I got up and brushed myself down.
"Well Hats A)we were drugged and out of commission for how ever long we were gone. 2)I want you to meet our saviors. B)Tell that guy why its only fair that we host them for saving and helping us. Well!" Sabo sighed. I watched as he turned to Dragon "Its only kind that we host you as you have done us a great deed. If we were more knowledgeable upon who you and your crew or friends we would offer a alliance. Now for as what your great deed was it is saving our young crew members and 2 of our co-captains. As the 3rd co-captain of the Laughing Pirates and the captains that you saved are the 2nd and 1st we welcome you to meet the rest of our crew and allies." I nodded along well those that didn't understand just stood there.
Dragon smiled well Sabo bowed and flipped his hat back onto his head "Your answer?" Sabo waited well I stood with my hands behind my head. He nodded "I accept your invitation." I threw my head back and laughed well the crew cheered. My mind was running rampant well Sabo directed the navigators to a hidden alcove on the back of the island. It was as they dropped the anchor I settled down "Rabbit us there Hats." He nodded and jumped to shore before spinning his hat and preforming the trick. "Hat Trick! Rabbit Hole!" The portal extended to accommodate the massive crowd I turned to Dragon and his well the crew jumped in. "If you see anything strange well in there don't worry! The hole is technically in a different diemensheon!" I spun on my heel and stepped up to the hole.
With a glance back at Dragon and then a quick nod to Sabo I leaped into the air an did a perfect swan dive into the hole. I blinked as the colours swirled pass and a wardrobe almost hit me shrugging I grabbed the jar of marmalade off its shelves and looked up? to see a hilarious view.
I took a step just as the portal dumped me out and the poor others that didn't know to move landed then were landed on. I hissed out my giggle next to Luffy as the pile up spilled out and became a human landslide "Comedy at its finest!" The group groaned. I looked up at the now higher portal just as Dragon and Sabo landed still standing just next to the pile up "Hats gets ah 7! An Revvy gets 8!" Sabo frowned. "Why can't I have ah higher score!?" I raised an eyebrow "Cause it was his first time and he didn't fall or get sick." Sabo conceded. I turned and raised my head to the sky and shouted "Step right Lady's and Gentlemen! I am pleased to announce the show you have traveled so far to see is ready!" I smiled and flip backwards until I was against a tree. With a flourish I hit the tree and climbed up the dropped ladder to settle on a bare low hanging branch.
"Please take your seats! As the first act is ready to begin!" A makeshift spot light flashed on and I watched as Ace stumbled out onto a tightrope. "This is the 4th co-captain of the Laughing Pirates! Give it up for Portagas D Ace!" Ace looked up at me and flipped me off, I laughed. Making a set of signs the audience watched as a set of our snipers came out with bows drawn and arrows on fire. As each shot at Ace he twisted, flipped, and cartwheeled out of the way well I extinguished the passing flames. I watched as some more crew members threw things at Ace well I myself gave amusing commentary when something odd was thrown. It was as the last item was avoided that I raised my arms and whistled shrilly making them scatter.
"That was Ace on the high wire! Now for the Main Event! The heads!" I grinned down at the amazed viewers before jumping from my perch onto Luffy shoulders. "We start with Aces subordinates! Lance Dragger our Head Crafter! Kelly Break our Head Shipwright! Shame Shane our Head Mapper! Drean Alekx our Head Sniper!" Each of them dropped into the clearing. "Now for those under Sabo! Parker Fairis our Head Gatherer! Rowan Gæll our Head Swordsmen! Harris Jones our Head Archeologist! Quinn Ander our Head Musician!" They rolled from the bushes. "Those under Luffy! Travis Wenny our Head Navigator! Kenny Joey our Head Financier! Leo Owens our Head Cook! Unicer Vearen our Head Heavy Combatant!" I waved as they swung in on some vines. "An uh course my own minions! Pepsi Zane our Head Backer! Hickse Xenio our Head Recruiter! Inusio Mamba our Head Doctor! Ganne Coke our Head Communicator! And last buno least Allie Sports our Head Swimmer!" I clapped as they pulled a me and popped up from within the crowd.
I giggled and pointed to a large group off to the side "Those are tha Red Hairs! Our allies." Shanks waved from where he was sitting. "Now then! I have something to say for my nakama! Family Battle." We descend into chaos leaving the outsiders stunned.
I snickered from where I sat on top of everyone giving the poor folks we had met a peace sign "That's why I'm the brains of this crew! Even if the insanity that I have makes it funny." I walked down the pile of unconscious bodies well humming. With a grin of the devil I howled loud enough to snap them out of there states. As they untangled themselves from the pile I sat down next to Dragon humming a juanty tune "Ya know I can't remember meeting you but fer some reason I feel as if we've known each other fer years. Its strange but you make me think of a storm more violent then even the CDs. You are leading the Revolution of man and hope to one day bring true peace. But you know that maybe 50 years after you pass away the world will once again war and what you accomplished will fall." Dragon turned to face me. I looked straight into his eyes and let the veil of laughter and insanity fall from my own so he could see it. The plans, dreams, hope that I held towards his goal.
He stiffened "One of my dreams is to change the world and I will support your cause but I can't join it. I offer an alliance between the Army and my subordinates along with my brothers. We will help when it's needed and report any things you should know." He was staring at me. I smiled making sure the scars reached eye height "Plus I managed to fix how I know you." I let loose a giggle and held my hand out. "So what yah say? Dad." Dragon took my hand and smiled back "Fair, Daughter." I took back my hand and rose. I let Luffy, Ace, and Sabo get everyone sorted out and grouped before taking my place infront of my brothers. With that I started.
"We have just gained a new ally, yes the Revolutionary Army. By order of deal we will help when called upon and report anything that could be used towards the Army's goals. Now then as they are both our guests and allies I want every single one of you to treat them with respect! If I find any of you not doing so I will personally punish you." At my last words all of them trembled and took steps back. Placing a wide smile on my lips I threw my hands out and sent 2 small orbs flying into the bushes where they exploded. A few tigers stumbled out with twisted grins and doing the equivalent of laughing before locking up and collapsing. "That is only temporary what I'll do to you will be much worse!" A insane laugh bubbled from my throat well Sabo dragged the tigers into a pen. Ace clapped his hands and pointed at the ground sending half of the forces hunting and the other half to set up a place for the festivities.
I slipped my hands into my pockets and started to hop on one leg well Luffy went into a hand stand with a half passed sulute to Shanks I flipped onto Luffy feet. "What should we do?!" Luffy snickered "How about we play ah game with tha allies!" I nodded "But what?" Luffy hummed and started to move well I thought. We grinned and shouted out together "Bombs and Fire! We should play Warrior!" I jumped off Luffy feet and raced to Dragon before dragging him to where Luffy had Shanks. "We wanna play ah game! An yer both part of it! Now this game is simple and fun an called Warrior! Its a improved version of Tag by the way, now you Revvy get ta be the safe zone! An you Scarffy are the Warrior! The Warrior has to find and capture the refugees aka me an Lu! So good luck!" With that we were both off and running away from the 2.
I went into the trees well Luffy stayed on the ground making a trail big enough to act as if I was still traveling with him I did the same with mine until I came to the Croc river. Looking back I traveled higher in the trees masking the trail I left behind and circling back to the clearing on the way I saw a shock of pink and blue. Grinning I passed Shanks and stopped just behind Dragon waiting I got the signal when Luffy shot threw the clearing with Shanks on his heels. Dropping down I stood right next to the surprised Dragon "No one can track me with Observation Haki." He raised an eyebrow well I pressed a finger to my lips and grinned. As Luffy made his second pass I pulled a jump rope from in my sleeve and threw it at Shanks's legs making him fall and lose as Luffy joined me next to Dragon.
I yawned and fell back onto the ground with my eyes closed "Wake me up when Ace sets something on fire." Luffy giggled well I drifted off.
"Elwood! Get the hells up!" I shot up and held the throat in my hands tight slowly squeezing well a mad grin lightened my lips. "This ickle asshole got strangled! And all his pals died as well!~" I started to laugh well the body thrashed wildly as they started to die painfully slow. "Elwood! ELWOOD! GODS DAMN IT JOKER! LET HIM GO!" I blinked and registered the person in my hands, Anoki. I dropped them and kept back as if magma was pouring off of him "El just how long has it been since you let Jo play?" I started to shake well thinking "To long." Ace gulped and waved everyone that had gathered off. "Diamonds, get up that Absolume barrier thing before all hell breaks lose." Sabo spun with his pipe straight out well saying random phrases making blue smoke circle around the clearing. Luffy tested the barrier by taking a deep breath before blowing out a fireball as tall as Shanks "All clear! Time to let THEM play!" That was when our crew saw the shadows shown at the fire in true form.
"This is fanTASTic! Now then WHO gets first round!?!!" I bounced well green smoke poured off of me Luffy matching to a T. Ace hummed and did a no hand cartwheel "Jester against Firefly!" Luffy and Ace took up 2 stances so different they fell off the bar. I bounced into a tree with Sabo before starting the match "PAHLEEZ give it UP for The Jester! An Firefly! BeGIN!" The resulting battle destroyed a fine chunk of the clearing. I started to giggle well our crew and allies stood behind the protective shield "I call this match! Firefly!" Luffy took my place in the tree well I started to square off against Ace. "Hey BugBoy! Is this yer card!" I flicked out my weapons and let them rip into Ace with a sadistic grin. Ace fell down with blood loss well Sabo switched places with him I started to go to stitches well beating Sabo down.
I felt someone outside of the circle shift as if controlling themselves from jumping into the bloody fray we had created. I flipped over Luffy and slammed his face into the ground well my eyes searched for my new opponent the barrier trembled for a second as a section of it thinned. I ran for it barelyt stopping myself from breaking it to get at them after a few seconds my bloodlust went down for me to see the person. I blinked pinched myself then blinked again "Uh, how bad is the damage?" All hell broke loose on the other side. "Hey its not that bad!" Only a few people even stayed quiet at my words groaning I turned to Dragon and made the come hither sign. As Dragon came into the barrier I glanced at a annoyed Ace who was propped against a tree and had smoke blanketing his wounds.
"You will have to learn how to control your playful side. Every pirate, bounty hunter, and marine over the seas will recognize you with it." I pouted and nodded tapping my foot. With a mocking salute I lended on his leg an examined my nails "Were gonna lay low fer tha first few months and only when we get to tha New World are we goin ta use the Laughing Pirates as our name until then were tha Straw Hats." Dragon sat down still a bit taller then me but what can I say? I'm petit. "Your brothers are very well versed in your needs. I take it they're as bad as you?" I nodded and plopped across his lap. "Sometimes even worse. I play once a month well they join in ta stop me from hurting anyone who can't jump back quickly. So I'm guessing yer gonna split like Shanks?" Dragon nodded absently carding his finger through my hair "Yes, I hope you call to check in. But before I leave I think I need to adopt yer older brothers." I snickered.
Dragon stood up with me holding onto his back making every Revolutionary freeze and gape at us shocked. "Mush!" Dragon chuckled as I pointed to the main family house "The dolts are in there!" Dragon jumped up into the window. I huffed and pouted "That's no fun! We tripped this thing to the depths of hell and you couldn't even knock!" Dragon knocked on the window sil before stepping in. Ace, Sabo, and Luffy where there finishing patching each other up after they silent escape from the clearing well I was talking. Dragon shook me off making me roll into them "I have a request." Ace looked at Dragon waiting well Sabo finished bandaging him. Dragon continued "I left 2 kids here and managed to gain 2 more even if unofficially on my part I would like to remedy that. Ace, Sabo I would like to adopt you if your willing to have a semi absent father that the entire world wants to kill. But only if yer willin." I saw Ace twitch.
Luffy started to laugh well I watched Ace with concern what happened shocked me and my brothers deeply. Ace, the Ace, most stubborn person in the world and walking persona of daddy issues hugged Dragon. Not patted. Hugged! I coughed and looked to Sabo who was crying in joy "Is tha' ah yah?" My question made Ace whack me upside the head. "Of course it is you fool!" I shrugged and pulled Luffy into the inprov hugfest with Sabo not far behind. Dragon seemed lighter more happy as we hugged, cried, and clutched him accepting him as family. I pulled back just enough to get my mouth away from the cloaks fabric "Does that mean Ace an Hats are Monkeys as well?" Dragon eyed them. Sabo nodded and held our Father our DAD tighter well Ace just stayed snuggled into Dad side "I'll take that as a Yes!" Sadly our little family moment drew to a end.
Dad got up and gently pried us off of him with a smile he ruffled Ace and Sabos hair well just patting me and Luffys "I have to go before the government finds us. Keep this and call when ever you need to kids." I took the slip of paper held out to me well the others did the same. "Its a Vivra Card and my personal number. The Vivra Card can lead you to me no matter where I am in the world, it always points to me." I held the card flat in my hand and sure enough it shuffled towards Dad. I looked at the others before racing to my secret cupboard and pulling some thing out dragging g it back to the others I opened it and removed a locket. Placing the sacrade treasure inside it I got 3 more and gave them out finally I pulled the last item out and held it out for Dragon.
He took it slowly and opened it to show 2 pictures Ace and Sabo on one side and me and Luffy on the other. I smiled "To remind you that you have more to fight for then just peace." Dad smiled back right before pulling us into a group hug "Thank you." I relaxed in his arms.
I pouted from the shore well Dad sailed off with his lot "Its no fair!" I loomed over Ace in seconds "What isn't fair? The fact we just got a Dad! Or maybe that has to leave?!" Ace backed down. I popped open my locket and watched as the piece of paper pointed in the direction that Dad had gone. Luffy looked at all of us and smiled brightly "We have a Dad, we have each other, we have a crew! But what we have most of all? We have family, nakama." I started to laugh first it was slow and soft and it grew. I hoped my laugh echoed all the way to Dad just so he could get one last thing from us.
It was a bright sunny with the crew milling around or curled into rocking balls talking to no one. It was also a very important day. What day was it? Well it was Monday of course! After we battled the CD on Friday the news couldn't report it until today since they don't work on weekends. That is why when we heard the roar of a pissed off Makino I started to vibrate with excitement. Sabo not so much.
"Makino got the paper." I let loose a giggle and pulled him along snatching Ace and a just as excited Luffy on the way. "We need to get ah paper!" Ace and Sabo looked frightened as we dragged them down to Fushia for the paper. We hadn't even got 3 steps into the village when Makino appeared out of no where and dragged all of us to the bar an slammed 5 sheets of paper on the counter. "What did you do." I'm pretty sure the climate went down by a few but why should I care? It was the posters that I wanted. Picking them up I grinned and started to read with glee on each word.
"For the amount of 20 million beri we have 'The Mad Hatter' Sabo!" I passed him the poster so he could see the picture of him using one of his Hat Tricks. "At the amount of 15 million beri we have 'The Firefly' Ace!" It was a picture of him with a unthrown explosive cocktail. "With the amount of 25 million beri we got 'The Jester' Luffy!" Even I was impressed with the photo I mean it was epic! Shaking my head I pulled out the next "With a sum of 25 million beri we have me! 'The Joker' Elwood!" I turned the poster to show the pic of me grinning with a joker card posed to strike. I pulled out the last Wanted and blinked before a dark presence washed over the room "I'm going to kill them. First I'll skin them alive then bleed them and when they beg for mercy and death? I'll laugh in their faces before healing them and starting again." I took a breath. "At the price of 5 million beri 'Lost Boy' Jamma. Reasons why! He fought on the front line! Is my 'apprentice'! An last but not least! He raided the CDs ship and stole anything he saw of value." Sabo went into a laughing fit worse then me.
--Shanks--
"Hey Boss! Look at these!" Shanks took the Wanted's and did a spit take before groaning and down the entire bottle within a gulp. Benn checked the posters as well and took a bottle for himself before reading "'Lost Boy' Jamma Wanted for 5 mil! 'The Firefly' Ace Wanted for 15 mil! 'The Mad Hatter' Sabo Wanted for 20 mil! An of course! 'The Jester' and 'The Joker' Luffy and Elwood Wanted for 25 mil a piece!" Benn drank well the rest of the crew got ready for a party.
--Dragon--
He twitched as he read the Wanted posters his colleagues trembled at the aura hanging around him. "Who ordered this?" Only the higher ranks didn't piss themselves at his question Ivonko stepped up even if terrified. "I-it was Saint Dean!" Dragon hissed at the name before visibility shaking uncontrollably making even his close circle step back. Slowly Dragon stopped and breathed "5 mil for 'Lost Boy' Jamma, 15 for 'The Firefly' Ace, 20 for 'Thew Mad Hatter' Sabo, 25 for 'The Jester' Luffy, and of course 25 for 'The Joker' Elwood." It took only a second for him to let loose a chuckle. Quickly the chuckle grew until hysterical and insane laughs filled the base making the weaker ones faint. "Those kids know how ta make ah fanTASTic showSTOPper!" He shook his head and calmed down coming off the Monkey D insanity express.
--Garp--
It was like everything in the world became crystal clear as he saw the Wanted Posters, then he blacked out.
--Senny--
It was a disaster zone. Almost half of MarineFord was gone and all 3 admirals out for the count. An you know what? The one who managed what pirates had tried to do for centuries was with the medics laughing like a loon. "Just what set Garp off? His insanity has been in tight check for years!" The new posters on his desk made him pause. Of course! Garps Grandkids had left a CD adrift after Goa burned that trash heap. Sengoku rubbed his temples and sighed "Only the Monkeys and DS." A news coo flew by the missing wall.
A/N: See! I told you I could do it!
I STILL HAVE DOUBTS ON IF YOU CAN FULLY FINISH THE CHILDHOOD, YOU KNOW THE THING YOU JUST KEEP WRITING ABOUT?
I'll have you know that I'm almost done with the childhood area! You need a broke base to work a story! Plus I have great plans!
IM JUST SAYING BOS YOU LEFT LOTS OF GAPS.
It was intentional Anony! What would I write about for Fillers or Specials if I don't have a few humorous flashbacks in store! Think abouts it!
IVE THOUGHT ABOUT A LOT AND IT ONLY MAKES ME QUESTION WHY THE UNIVERSE LET YOU GET AHOLD OF THOSE PSYCHOLOGY BOOKS. ON THE OTHER HAND IT MAKES A READ THAT RESEMBLES YOUR PERSONALITY.
Smart? Amazing? FanTASTic!
UTTERLY INSANE AND CONFUSING.
Fu~ck you~! Remember! Paybacks ah bitch! Any way! This is BlackoSun!
AND ANONY!
SiGnInG oFf!
