Something that I forgot to mention in the last chapter is that I'm currently on holiday in the middle of pretty much nowhere with very limited internet access. If you can, Google 'Hogsback' and maybe you'll come up with a result of a small town situated in the mountains. Yep, that's where I am. Really beautiful area, amazing hikes and spectacular wildlife. (We've got monkeys and loeries right outside our front door! Btw, a Loerie is a bird. They're mostly brilliant green with blazing red wing feathers. Check them out.)
So I'm very glad that my dad brought along his little portable 3G internet adapter thingie. That's the only reason that I'm updating this chapter on time! So, thank you dad!
Title: Logging off Life (Chapter 7)
Author: MeteorLeopard (HoneyBadger)
HazelNut: Thank you.
That had been the last message that he'd gotten from her almost three days ago now. And since then there had been radio-silence. After the whole fiasco with her father and brother bursting into the library to find him and Yori in a rather… compromising situation, she had messaged him.
He'd wanted to meet up with her personally but somehow she'd slipped back into the Sun Dorms before in the chaos following the Wakaba's hasty leave. Kain had arrived then, telling him that Kaname had requested him to return to class. Not able to disobey his pureblood leader, Aidou had gritted his teeth, sent a last glance towards the Sun Dorms and followed Kain inside back to class.
It was when he'd returned to his room that he'd found her messages. He'd tried to reply but she'd already been offline.
She'd explained to him in short words that after he'd left she'd finally confronted her father and told him that she wasn't changing her subjects. Aidou had gained a large grin to his face and ignored Kain when he'd asked what he was grinning so madly about. He'd felt a swell of pride at knowing about her defiance. She'd also typed, in the last sentence, that she wanted just a few days to herself to sort her thoughts out and that he please, as a favour to her, leave her be during that time.
Aidou had stared at it for a while, the smile disappearing from his face. Had her actions put her into trouble and she didn't want him to be around because she blamed him? He hoped not.
Then, in a separate message at the bottom, almost as an afterthought, she'd typed: 'Thank you'.
Great, just what he'd needed to confuse him further: A cryptic word of gratitude.
But then, thinking about it, he supposed that she hadn't elaborated because there had been too many things to thank him for or she was simply saying 'Thank you'. Those two words had quickly erased his thoughts on her blaming him. She would not have thanked him if she had blamed him for something. He knew that much.
It was surprising really how much he could anticipate her responses. Just how well did he know her?
Apparently, well enough to predict that she'd stand up to her father when even her brother had doubted her. This thought made a smirk rise to his lips but it vanished quickly. His encounter with Sora had shaken him some. The next day, upon leaving the Night Class Dorms, he'd thought about how he'd waved back at the girls, encouraging them. He remembered all of the other's head-shaking and exasperated sighs at his antics. He'd suddenly felt very stupid and very juvenile. No wonder Yori had thought him to be silly.
At that thought he'd frowned and walked past the girls without looking up. He'd received numerous odd looks from his fellow Night Class students and jibes from Ruka but he'd ignored them (which once more drew incredulous stares from the others), instead pulling out his sketch pad once he got to class.
He'd taken to drawing Yori again during the days that she'd asked him to stay away. He was going to stay away from her until she let him know that she'd sorted her life out. That didn't mean that he had to like it though.
He'd become moody, thinking about her more often than he felt comfortable with. At times when his mind wandered he remembered the determined, far-off look in her eyes as she spoke of her own dream and passion he frowned, wondering what he wanted to do with his life. His family also ran a business; a big business and were therefore rather wealthy too. But his eldest sister was taking over there and he'd had no particular desire to do so in the first place. But his big sister had a business mind as keen as any he'd seen and a sense for deceit that left her competitors trembling. He smirked at the thought of his big sis, Kasumi. She'd be grand at running the company.
But him? It left him with an open path. He had so many choices that he didn't know what to do with them. He wasn't even sure what his calling in life was. Yori did. And if he was honest with himself, he was jealous of that. But also awed in a way. She knew exactly what she wanted; that quiet, reserved yet fiery girl knew what she wanted and had just taken the first steps towards getting it. He found himself silently cheering for her.
One more thing that he'd been wondering over had been Yori herself. Or rather, where he stood with her.
He couldn't deny that he was attracted to her; her hypnotizing scent and subtle beauty had proven that much. And, a few times now, he'd caught himself fantasizing about how soft her lips would be or, even better, what she'd taste like. The surprising thing about the latter thought wasn't that it was her blood's taste that he was imagining. For probably the first time he didn't care for another's blood. In fact, the very thought of taking from her had become utterly unthinkable.
Her witty comments were entertaining and stimulating. He liked listening to her talk and hearing her voice her opinions. He found her interesting and fascinating to listen to, trying to figure out what made her tick. He wanted her to feel comfortable talking to him, like she had been in the library a few days ago.
Perhaps he was acting like a love-sick fool, moping around and spending long periods of time on his own, thinking and staring off into space. But he couldn't care less; because that's exactly what he was, he realized.
A love-sick fool.
She was an idiot, she decided, when she caught herself watching the door again. A stupid, naïve idiot who got herself into one big mess just because she hadn't been firm enough with a guy who was too darn charming and persistent for his own good.
And now she was wishing for him to show up out of the blue while she was packing the shelves in the library, scaring the wits out of her again or strolling in there like he owned the place. Silly, she told herself. She'd specifically asked him to give her a bit of space so that she could sort her head. Without her father's constant hovering shadow she'd needed a while to adjust to making her choices because she wanted to. Yuuki had noticed her more jubilant mood but hadn't been prepared for when her adoptive father, the Chairman, announced happily to her over dinner that he was going to be keeping watch over Yori like an uncle now. The news had resulted in Yuuki spitting her spaghetti out and choking on her milk. Pouting, the Chairman had claimed that since Yuuki wasn't going to be calling him 'Otou-san' anytime soon at least Yori would call him something familiar.
Yori shook her head. How the man could assume that she'd be comfortable simply calling him so informally she didn't know.
She'd had the Chairman show her how to remove the silver bracelets, which the man claimed to be called 'Daquan'. "A strike with a fist" he'd translated for her. Yori had simply nodded.
The other reason for her asking him for space was because she was somewhat frightened of how comfortable she'd become around him. It didn't matter that he'd been kind and considerate and she'd been more comfortable around him than with any other person in years. He was still a playboy. He was still someone who enjoyed toying with girls, just like her brother Sora. Sora had a long track-record of easily claiming girl's hearts and then shattering them when he became bored of them. Sure, he didn't exactly mean it… but nonetheless that was what happened. And Sora and Aidou were so alike that it scared Yori. She would not be one of those girls that ended up heartbroken after the guy was done with them.
She would not.
But, she sighed, as she slipped three more books onto their right shelf, she'd be named a liar if she claimed that she didn't miss Aidou.
She was such an idiot, becoming dependant on someone like him.
This was becoming ridiculous, Kain decided. His cousin had been slouching around with his bottom lip practically dragging over the floor for the last three days! His glum face was bad enough to affect the whole general mood of the Night Class Dorm. Even Ruka had given up taunting him because she simply couldn't get a decent reaction out of him anymore; it was insane!
Kain huffed as he watched Aidou lying back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Not only had his cousin's general mood gone down the drain but so had his happy playboy attitude. He barely gave the Day Class girls a second glance yesterday and even Kaname had enquired about the blonde's health! His health! It was his mental state that Kain was more worried about. The other day Aidou had actually asked him what Kain wanted to do after school. After school! His cousin was planning for the future! It just wasn't done. Sure, Kain was glad that Aidou was gaining a sense of responsibility. But, dang it, did it have to come on so suddenly? And because of a human girl no less? It almost made him sorry for ever condemning Aidou for chasing her. Any human girl who could make his cousin pull such a 180 from his annoying flirty attitude was impressive in his books.
But nonetheless scary.
Kain watched Aidou flip himself from his back on his bed and head towards the door.
"Where're you heading?"
Aidou stopped briefly in the door. "Just out for air."
Kain nodded. It was Friday evening, classes were over and the moon was just beginning to rise to the center of the sky. "See 'ya."
"Right," the blonde said before slipping out the door and pulling it closed behind him.
Kain frowned at the closed door. This had gotten out of hand. Catching sight of Aidou's sketch pad, it only took him a moment of deliberation to make his decision. Common decency and respect of privacy were telling him not to, but his sense of worry as a cousin had him reaching for the sketch pad and flipping it open, going through the pictures one at a time. His eyes widened slightly as he noticed a very obvious pattern.
It was all Yori. Aidou had put her into many different settings; under a tree, in the library many times, sitting on a couch, reading, leaning against a passage wall, huddled in a blanket, staring right back at the viewer, behind her laptop, typing something, checking notes, sleeping… Kain took note of the many innocent settings that the girl was drawn in. As he flipped further, Kain noticed that Aidou had begun drawing himself into the picture too. But always from a distance or with an object between them. One picture that caught Kain's attention was one where Yori was standing in a large, empty space, her arms hugging herself and her one hand clutching a book and pen. Her head was downturned and her shoulders hunched. Standing behind her, without touching her, was Aidou. Very close but not touching. And he was looking over her shoulder, one hand reaching out.
Kain snapped the pad shut, turning his eyes away. Damn it, how deep in was his cousin? His affections towards the human were more than apparent through his actions but on paper it seemed that Kain was prying into something personal that he shouldn't be by looking at them.
Glancing back at the drawing pad, Kain sighed. There had been more pictures after the one he'd stopped on. He knew he shouldn't… but he was curious. So he opened it again, flipping back to the page he'd stopped at and quickly passing it.
From then on the drawings became more interesting. Aidou had often drawn himself beside her or almost touching her. In some pictures she seemed almost aware of him and in others still ignorant. As he flipped the pages Kain noticed another detail: Yori's eyes were beginning to focus on Aidou. Perhaps his cousin was drawing these unconsciously, making the changes without being truly aware of them. If so, then Kain feared that she would soon see other things about Aidou… for example that he wasn't human.
One drawing that drew Kain's attention depicted Aidou leaning over the girl as she pressed her back against a bookshelf. The lines here were harsh and seemed hurried but they gave the picture all the more impact. Kain felt himself studying that one particular picture intently for a long time, simply studying the postures of the two individuals. While Yori, being the one backed against the shelf, certainly was rigid and stiff, she wasn't precisely shying away from Aidou's near predatory advance, bearing down upon her and leaning, his face near-buried in the crook of the girl's neck, his hands flitting over her shoulders and skin as thought to restrain her should she try to bolt – something she seemed to have no inclination of doing.
Kain was fascinated by it.
He debated over going to talk to the Chairman about the issue again but the man would probably shrug it off and suggest that he give the Wakaba girl more garlic. The girl had apparently hung onto the garlic for a day and then, finding that it had probably stunk too much in her little dorm room, proceeded to cook the Chairman and the Cross prefect a bolognaise sauce. Cross Yuuki had been raving about 'Yori's delicious cooking' just the other night to Zero during crossover, allowing Kain to overhear.
The Chairman was no help at all so Kain was left to his own devices.
What could he do to help his dangerously-attached cousin break free from the human's hold on him?
Yori sighed as she fluffed up her cushion once more in a futile attempt to make herself more comfortable in her cold bed. The sheets seemed far too stiff and the duvet covering her small form seemed near suffocating in weight despite leaving her feeling icy in the lonely room.
Her day really hadn't been going well. She hadn't been able to grasp a simple Math concept that they had already learnt the previous day and were now simply revising once more, whereas normally she had no trouble with any sort of number problems. Math wasn't one of her electives but remained a prerequisite, fixed subject that was compulsory for all students to take, thus making her figuring out the concept vital.
After lunch break she'd repeatedly copied the same line from her textbook five times over without noticing it until Zero chucked a balled up piece of paper at the back of her head, snapping her out of whatever trance she had fallen into.
However, her concentration had repeatedly slipped and she now knew that her face had been creased in a permanent frown for the whole day. She was now feeling the effects of sitting for hours with hunched and tensed shoulders in the form of a pounding headache and aching neck muscles. Hissing slightly, Yori reached up to rub at the junction of her neck and shoulder that was giving her grief. How she hated stiff limbs…
Sighing, Yori rolled over to look from her window. Yuuki would probably be out right now with Zero in the chilly night, looking for potential trespassers and keeping the school safe. Zero would most likely be helping her. Yori smiled slightly at the thought of the silver-haired boy; the Day Class girls were so petrified of him that they turned tail and ran each time at his slightest approach, making him a perfect barrier between the Night and Day Class students. Her soft smile spread further over her lips at the thought of a certain blonde-haired Night Class student.
She'd tried so fervently to stay away from him. In the beginning he had been the one pursuing her and now… now she was wishing that he would pop up again. If she hadn't been stopping herself she would probably have gone to go seek him out by now.
Tomorrow… tomorrow she'd send him a message and talk to him. She wanted to just have contact with him again but she knew that the meager online cyberspace connection could never substitute for the real thing. An image of her landing safely in the comfort of his arms suddenly filled her mind and Yori, despite blushing bright red, did not push the image away. In fact, the memory of him literally dropping everything and rushing to catch her during free-fall from the ladder made her smile and for a while her cold bed seemed almost warm.
She sighed. Damn it, she wanted to see him again in person. But if she wasn't careful she'd end up just like those girls that her brother had dated in the past. They had been shattered and broken like fragile porcelain dolls, left behind and damaged sometimes beyond repair after Sora was tired of them. Yori was scared to end up like that and she didn't want to make herself vulnerable to Aidou, a person so startlingly similar to her brother that it was frightening.
But Aidou wasn't her brother.
Yori's eyes widened slightly at that as all her muddled thoughts suddenly seemed to sort themselves just a little more within her head. Aidou wasn't her brother. He wasn't her brother. She sat upright in bed, holding a palm to her forehead.
She was such an idiot; a glorious fool-hardy idiot. Not only did she end up depending on someone like Aidou, but she'd pushed him away and filed him away under the same playboy category as her brother, determined not to see him as anything else. And perhaps that had been her undoing. As his façade continued to fall away and Yori stubbornly kept him fixed in the same category as before, he'd surprised her more and more by stepping out of those set limitations. Now it all made sense. Aidou was not the same as her brother.
She sat upright in bed, mussing her hair in her hands as she tried to calm herself back down. She was agitated now – wanting to do something with the energy she'd gained from figuring out this simple, glaring fact. Her eyes wandered towards Yuuki's bare bed and the window beside it.
There wasn't any avoiding it. The only thing that would really and truly work now, Yori knew from experience, was to go for a walk. And with the doors to the Sun Dorms locked and bolted with an alarm, it made the task difficult. Difficult, but not impossible. After all, she'd done it before. Twice to be precise. She'd evaded the two prefects then so Yori was certain that she could do so now. Besides, if Yuuki did catch her she'd understand. Zero would not like her being outside but he'd not begrudge her some fresh air… she hoped.
Silently slipping into warmer clothes and her long knee-length coat, Yori quickly found her lace-up shoes with the good, firm grip that she kept in the back of her closet just in case. Her gaze fell upon her desk and she walked over, reaching into the draw there and rummaging for a moment in the dark before pulling out the silver Daquan weapon that the Chairman had removed for her the other night. She pondered it for a moment and then let them fall into her coat pocket. Just in case.
Kitted out sufficiently in her dark-coloured outfit, she dropped to her knees and reached under Yuuki's bed for the length of rope that her friend insisted on keeping in their room. 'You never know,' had been the prefect's response to Yori's question then and right now Yori was silently praising her normally scatterbrained friend for her rare moment of foresight… even if it wasn't exactly intentional.
Nonetheless, it took Yori all of two minutes to quietly open the window and attach the rope to the bedpost of Yuuki's bed, securing it tightly. Then, checking to see if her shoes had any dirt under them so that they wouldn't leave any marks behind on the white wall, Yori tucked her hair behind her ears and took a steadying breath. Just because she'd done this before didn't make her any less nervous about breaking school regulations. Sure, it was Friday and curfew had been extended; but even that had ended hours ago. It really was late.
She lowered herself from the window easily. It really wasn't all that different from descending from the edge of a cliff-face; once you got over the vertigo and the fact that you were lowering yourself down backwards over the edge of a cliff where if you fell you'd probably die and hanging all your chances of survival on one simple length of rope, it was actually quite exhilarating. She made sure not to bump against any window panes on the way down and to be silent at all times. If anyone opened their curtains to look outside at the moon now, she was done for. Of course, it helped that the moon was hidden behind thick clouds for most of the time and that New Moon had only just passed a few nights ago, making the sky fairly dim even without the clouds.
Her shoed feet hit the ground with barely a thump. Yori was glad that it wasn't autumn and therefore giving the ground no treacherously crackling leaves for her to step on. Instead, slightly frosted grass met the bottom of her shoes and Yori took care not to slip.
She turned and headed off into the forest, glad that she knew the surrounding woods well enough not to get lost in them. Her destination came within view soon, and she was glad for that. The air was chilly and walking along within the trees only made her colder. The crest of the hill where she finally stopped was smooth and just on the edge of the forest, giving her the opportunity to lean back against a tree-trunk but still enjoy a spectacular view of the sprawling city below. It wasn't so much that Yori loved civilization and all the pollution that came with it, but the bustling lights whisking by below and winking up at her as she sat watching them from her high vantage point made her feel comfortably disconnected.
She watched the numbing view for a while before her mind wandered again to the more pressing matters weighing on her. Just a few days ago, her father had practically disowned her. Not in name, perhaps, but in responsibility he had pretty much shoved her future into her own hands and whilst that was something that Yori had wanted for far too many years to count, it nevertheless still hurt to know that her own father could be so disregarding of her. At least the Chairman had stepped in and, despite his comical nature, truly was trying to fill even a small fraction of the gap left behind and whilst Yori appreciated his efforts she was not sure what to make of them just yet. He was such a complete turnaround from her father that she just couldn't allow him to fill the same role as the one her father had, or still was, filling to a certain degree. Besides, she wasn't sure that she wanted to associate the kind, humorous Chairman with her ambitious and overbearing father.
She'd kept her subjects; a feat which she was truly proud of. She knew that, in years to come, she'd probably look back on that moment of defiance in the office and be glad for speaking her mind. In time. Right now she was feeling alone and even a little scared. It was like she'd been thrust into a vast ocean with a life preserver but no way of knowing where the nearest land was or even how far off it would be. There was land, Yori knew, but until she'd found it she would be battling to swim and find it.
But, she resolved, she would manage. She would be strong. She would not break and she would succeed and show her father that she could accomplish something with her own ambition.
Somehow, her brave thoughts caused her to choke up and her throat suddenly constricted painfully as her chest heaved with dry sobs. She'd kept her tears at bay until now and whilst they weren't necessarily tears of sadness, they were still begging to be let out.
Yori refused though. She'd just sworn that she would not break. So she wouldn't.
"Your stubborn side is showing again," a voice commented from the shadows and Yori spun her head around, searching for the intruder, her hand flying to her pocket into which she'd slipped Daquan.
He stepped forward casually, hands in his pockets and a nonchalant expression on his face, though she could detect the slightest lifting of his lips, indicating a barely-there smile.
"Aidou-sen-," she caught herself then, noticing the warning darkening of his eyes. "I mean, Aidou… what are you doing out here? Why are you only wearing a thin jersey? You'll catch a cold-"
His hand on her shoulder silenced her and as he took a seat beside her against the tree he gave her a reproachful look. "As you can see, I'm not shivering nor do I have goose bumps. So no, I'm not cold. As for why I'm out here, I could ask you the same thing, Yori."
Yori gave a slight, rueful smile. "Touché'."
Aidou gave the human girl beside him a quick scan. She was dressed casually though the rumpled way her coat was draping her shoulders made him think that she was cold. Her hair was messy – well, messier – and stuck up at random angles from her face and he assumed that she had only just gotten out of bed. Altogether she looked absolutely scruffy but to Aidou she looked nothing short of radiant in the moonlight. The sunlight put her delicate beauty to shame in the unbefitting lighting. The moon suited her better. He was sorely tempted to reach out and brush a hand through her soft, silky hair and trace the slight shadows that the tree and the city lights were throwing upon her skin.
However, her tensed shoulders and hunched form sitting hidden beneath the tree stopped him. She probably wouldn't like his advances right now. Her dainty hands were fisted tightly in her coat and she was worrying at her bottom lip, her white teeth barely exposed.
He sighed as he saw just how much pressure his - this he corrected himself - little human girl was under. It made him curse silently at himself for heeding her request and giving her space. Obviously, he realised now, that had been a mistake. She'd simply heaped even more upon her shoulders and was now struggling with the combined weight of all her troubles at once. And he hadn't been there at all to even help her slightly.
Making a split-second decision, Aidou reached over with his left arm currently pressed against Yori and draped it over her, bringing his other arm round her front in a sort of awkward, sideways hug. Yori immediately stiffened.
"A-Aidou-"
"Just shut up and relax, Yori." His voice carried no hint of malice and simply conveyed his calm demand. She still remained rigid and Aidou adjusted his grip on her, shifting to hold her better. "I have three sisters, Yori, so I know that whenever they get that look on their faces all they need is a hug. I promise I won't try to feel you up or do anything that will encroach upon your dignity."
He stated it so simply that Yori could not resist the blush rising to her cheeks. In an effort to hide it, she turned her body into his ready embrace and buried her face against his chest, choosing to ignore the way his muscles tightened just the slightest bit at her contact. His jersey really was thin and he didn't seem to be wearing anything underneath it either even in the cold night. Yori blushed further as she realised what she was thinking about and hurriedly focused on something else – like the way his strong scent was drugging her worried mind into a comfortable lull. Her muscles eased and within moments she had lost all stiffness in her body. She was beginning to lose the chilled sensation in her limbs too; Aidou was surprisingly warm.
But she had to say something. Despite her earlier revelation, she wasn't willing to let him in completely yet. And so she muttered softly the words that would put some distance between them. "I just don't want to give you false hopes… Aidou." Her voice nearly cracked on his name but she had to direct it at him. She wasn't… sure. She wasn't sure of anything yet.
She felt wretched.
Aidou merely flexed his arms around her, pulling her tighter against him. But he didn't say anything. What was there to say really? The very fact that she wasn't pulling away from him spoke volumes in her language and if he disregarded her words for the moment and focused on her hesitant arms coming up behind his back…
Sighing into her hair and inhaling her unique scent, Aidou wondered if he was into self-inflicted pain.
Carefully, so as to not give her a fright, he allowed his hands to splay over her back. Slowly, sensually, he began massaging her tightly strung muscles. His fingers absently fingered her vertebra one at a time through her coat as he moved his right hand up, keeping his left securely around her and holding her to him. He was unwilling to lose her soft warmth. He wouldn't let her go just yet. Unconsciously he turned his head so that his nose skimmed over the sensitive flesh just below her ear.
Surprisingly, Yori stayed still the entire time, simply tightening her grip on him and burrowing her head further into his hold. She'd been walking around for the past few days holding the huge burden over her head with a smile to keep Yuuki from fretting and she thought she'd been doing a great job of it so far. But perhaps she hadn't been dealing with everything as well as she thought she had. Yori couldn't even begin to describe how relieving it was to have another take her worries from her, even if it was only for a little while. Never in her wildest dreams had Yori ever imagined herself to be most at ease in the arms of a boy whom she had only recently begun to truly trust. And she wasn't willing to lose the sense of comfort yet.
Her hands pulled her closer, disregarding the fact that somewhere along the line he'd shifted her legs to drape over his lap in order to wrap his arms more securely around her. She curled up against him further, letting her eyes close slowly as she breathed in his heady scent.
Aidou watched her intently as her breathing evened out and her hands holding onto him slackened. Within a few more minutes of his hands running soothingly over her back her eyes had closed and her muscles slackening, her lips parting to form a soft 'o' shape.
This was how Yori fell asleep and then proceeded to spend the rest of the night under the tree with Aidou, in the noble's arms, warm. She hadn't slept so deeply in a long while.
A/N: I'm still on holiday next week, though I should be able to update on time. If not, you know why. See you all soon!
Please review! ^_^
