Err... so I guess I didn't get this up before July :/ but I did get it up before I left for my mini vacation, which was my real goal. Anyway, this was definitely the hardest chapter to write, because Katniss and Peeta aren't always together in Mockingjay. A lot of this comes from my imagination. Hope you enjoy!
I feel the need to do a disclaimer. I don't own The Hunger Games, or Facebook, or any of the other copyrighted things mentioned in this fic.
Peeta Mellark changed his current city to Capitol Prison
Katniss Everdeen ~ Peeta Mellark
Peeta! ! ! ! I need to know if you're ok!
Katniss Everdeen: please Peeta, if you get this let me know something!
Katniss Everdeen: Peeta plz plz respond!
Katniss Everdeen: PEETA!
Capitol Guard: STOP PINING FOR PEETA! SERIOUSLY GET A LIFE! WE TOOK HIS FACEBOOK PRIVLAGES AWAY, SO HE WON'T EVER RESPOND!
Katniss Everdeen: Peeta :(
Capitol Guard poked you
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Peeta Mellark: stole Enobaria's laptop! oh facebook how I have missed you XD
Johanna Mason likes this
Johanna Mason: and thanx for letting me borrow it too! Unfortunately, it was too late to save my FarmVille plants D:
Peeta Mellark: same here! I wish my friends would have the sense to take care of my farm for me.
Enobaria: Hey Peeta! I want my laptop back! I'm so bored without it!
Peeta Mellark: oh yeah, you must be so bored with the Wii, Iphone, 72" flat screen TV, soda fountain, waterbed, and swimming pool in your deluxe prison cell that for crying out loud isn't even locked! You could leave if you wanted!
Enobaria: first off, it's an Xbox kinect, not a Wii, second I can't do my online shopping with my Capitol credit card without my laptop. My cell is looking so dingy, I think I need to get new curtains.
Peeta Mellark: wanna get me some curtains too, oh wait a minute I don't have any windows!
Enobaria: You know what, keep the laptop. I've been meaning to get a newer, better one anyway.
Peeta Mellark likes FarmVille, Enobaria is a spoiled brat! and I miss you Katniss :(
Capitol Guard poked you
25 more similar stories.
Johanna Mason ~ Peeta Mellark
Hey, let's have a screaming contest!
Peeta Mellark: cool AAAAHHHHH! ! ! ! !
Johanna Mason: AAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA HHHHHHHH HHHHHHHH! ! ! ! !
Peeta Mellark: AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA HHHHHHHHHH! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Johanna Mason: EEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEE KKKKKKKKKK! ! ! ! !
Peeta Mellark: WWWWWWWWWW AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA HHHHHHH! ! ! ! !
Capitol Guard: SHUT UP!
Peeta Mellark: ah...
Capitol Guard poked you.
Caesar Flickerman invited you to Capitol Propaganda Interview
Peeta Mellark: I don't wanna... :(
Capitol Guard: YOU'RE GOING!
Peeta Mellark: well I guess that's settled.
Caesar Flickerman ~ Peeta Mellark
Welcome to the first interview with Hunger Games Victor/Capitol Prisoner/Teen Heart-throb Peeta Mellark! So Peeta, what are you going to talk about this time?
Peeta Mellark: Well, let's start with a snide remark about people having other plans, defend Katniss a bit, and close with a long winded speech about how we can't fight each other in the name of humanity that you condense into meaning I'm calling for a cease fire!
Caesar Flickerman: Brilliant!
Capitol Guard poked you.
43 more similar stories.
Peeta Mellark is now friends with Darius and Lavinia
Lavinia ~ Peeta Mellark
thanks for letting us use Enobaria's stolen laptop to check our facebooks.
Darius: and thanks for taking care of our FarmVille plants while we were busy being Avoxes! You know the best thing you can do for someone while they're being tortured is make sure their plants.
Peeta Mellark: No problem you two! Nobody took care of my FarmVille plants while I was in prison and they all died! I didn't want the same thing to happen to you guys!
Capitol Guard: YOU TWO AVOXES! GET OVER HERE!
Darius: well nice talking to u
Lavinia is now offline.
Darius ~ Peeta Mellark
I survived :(
Peeta Mellark: why is that a bad thing?
Darius: cuz now they're gonna torture me!
Sadistic Guard: oh no, we're going to have a nice calm tea party
Darius: your name is Sadistic Guard who are you trying to fool with this tea party crap?
Sadistic Guard: did I forget to mention you'll be sitting on barbed wire chairs and drinking President Snow's tea?
Darius: gah!
Darius is offline.
Capitol Guard poked you
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Peeta Mellark ~ Prison Baker
you know what would make your bread better? Use whole grain wheat flour instead of the stuff you're using, and you could knead the bread for a little longer, and you could pick the maggots out. Just a few suggestions from baker to baker.
Prison Baker: STFU! YOU'RE LUCKY YOU'RE GETTING FED AT ALL!
Peeta Mellark: you give Enobaria good bread!
Prison Baker: she'll complain to my boss if I don't, and I'll lose my job.
Peeta Mellark: and if I complain?
Prison Baker: you'll get beaten, and I might get a raise!
Capitol Guard poked you
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Caesar Flickerman invited you to Capitol Propaganda Interview
Peeta Mellark: another one of these things?
Caesar Flickerman ~ Peeta Mellark
Welcome to the second interview with Hunger Games Victor/Capitol Prisoner/Teen Heart-throb Peeta Mellark! So Peeta, what are you going to talk about this time?
Peeta Mellark: I think I might make another comment for a cease fire, and then directly confront Katniss on her use as a poster girl for the oncoming war. But I think I'd like to keep this interview short, Caesar, and let my diminished physical state do the talking.
Caesar Flickerman: Brilliant!
Capitol Guard poked you
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Capitol Doctor ~ Peeta Mellark
all this 'poke torture' hasn't been effective, so were gonna try something different.
Peeta Mellark: like what?
Capitol Doctor: inject you with tracker jacker venom. DUH! I got the idea off of your facebook post in the last chapter.
Peeta Mellark: me and my big mouth.
Capitol Doctor sent you painful hijacking injections.
Peeta Mellark: wants to strangle Katniss Everdeen!
Capitol Doctor and Capitol Guard like this
Katniss Everdeen: I thought we were friends. :(
Peeta Mellark joined the group let's kill Katniss Everdeen!
Peeta Mellark wrote on let's kill Katniss Everdeen!'s wall
wait, why hasn't anyone done anything here in over a year? oh right, everyone died in the hunger games!
Cato: or did they...
Peeta Mellark: Cato's ghost!
Cato: no, Cato's brother Bruno! I hacked his account!
Peeta Mellark: oh good, you gave me a heart attack!
Capitol Guard poked you.
Peeta Mellark wrote on Capitol Guard's wall
I thought we established this form of torture didn't work.
Capitol Guard: it's still fun!
Capitol Guard poked you.
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Caesar Flickerman invited you to Capitol Propaganda Interview
Peeta Mellark: no! can't you interview Johanna or something?
Johanna Mason: don't drag me into this!
Caesar Flickerman ~ Peeta Mellark
Welcome to the third interview with Hunger Games Victor/Capitol Prisoner/Teen Heart-throb Peeta Mellark! So Peeta, what are you going to talk about this time?
Peeta Mellark: hmmm... this time I'll just ramble a little bit on the cease fire, then let it slip that the Capitol is going to bomb District 13.
Caesar Flickerman: Brilliant!
Coriolanus Snow: no Caesar, that is not brilliant. How did the prisoner even hear about the plan?
Peeta Mellark: some of the guards have loose lips.
Capitol Guard is now offline.
Sadistic Guard poked you.
Peeta Mellark: knocked unconcious after the last interview, head hurts. How long have I been out for?
Katniss Everdeen: long enough for District 13 to form a plan to break you out.
Peeta Mellark: awesome! Wait Katniss Everdeen, MUST KILL KATNISS EVERDEEN!
Katniss Everdeen: ru ok?
Peeta Mellark: not at all.
Gale Hawthorne ~ Peeta Mellark
Surprise! we're breaking you out!
Peeta Mellark: yay!
Johanna Mason: me too?
Gale Hawthorne: yup
Crazy Murderer Inmate: how about me?
Gale Hawthorne: err... no, you stay here
Crazy Murderer Inmate: not cool!
Enobaria: how about me?
Gale Hawthorne: in order to be broken out of prison, you have to be an actual prisoner.
Enobaria: I am an actual prisoner! They've even started locking my cell!
Peeta Mellark: and given you the key!
Peeta Mellark changed his current city to District 13
Peeta Mellark wrote on Katniss Everdeen's wall:
YOU'RE A MONSTER! I HATE U! I'M GONNA KILL U!
Peeta Mellark: wants to kill Katniss Everdeen }:|
5 more similar posts
Delly Cartwright ~ Peeta Mellark
let's talk about our childhood. You drew amazing chalk animals.
Peeta Mellark: I don't want to talk about our childhood, I WANNA KILL KATNISS EVERDEEN!
Delly Cartwright: Peeta, that is not appropriate!
Peeta Mellark likes Being a lost cause?, Killing people, and Tiny milestones like being able to eat with a knife and not thinking Katniss is a mutt.
Finnick Odair ~ Peeta Mellark
Annie and I would like you to make our wedding cake.
Peeta Mellark: cool! can I come to the wedding?
Finnick Odair: um... no. Sorry, you're still just too... how do I put this nicely, DANGEROUS!
Peeta Mellark: it's ok, I understand, but I would like to meet Katniss.
Haymitch Abernathy: I'll work on it.
Peeta Mellark wrote on Katniss Everdeen's wall:
You're not very big, or very pretty.
Katniss Everdeen: you don't look very good either
Peeta Mellark: and you're not very nice, and people say I loved you. I don't get it.
Katniss Everdeen: you did.
Peeta Mellark: did you love me?
Katniss Everdeen: uhm... er... maybe?
Peeta Mellark wrote on Katniss Everdeen's wall:
do you care if I eat with you
Katniss Everdeen: uh no, go ahead.
Peeta Mellark: so are you and Gale officially a couple, or are they still dragging the star-crossed lover thing
Johanna Mason: still dragging.
Peeta Mellark: grrrr..
Peeta Mellark: was told to go to training today? Am I actually going to be a soldier?
Plutarch Heavensbee: no, it's just for propaganda. Everyone wants to know how you are doing. You're the talk of Panem, isn't it smashing.
Alma Coin: screw Plutarch's propaganda b.s. we're going to put you in the front line someday.
Plutarch Heavensbee: no we're not
Alma Coin: yes we are, I'm president and I say so.
Alma Coin ~ Peeta Mellark
good news, we have an opening for you on Squad 451! ready to go out and fight!
Peeta Mellark: no!
Alma Coin: too bad!
Peeta Mellark joined the group Squad 451
Peeta Mellark changed his current city to Somewhere outside the Capitol.
Peeta Mellark wrote on Katniss Everdeen's wall:
Guess what, I'm in your squad! Coin assigned me here herself
Boggs: there's no way
Alma Coin: yup, he's now an official part of Squad 451
Katniss Everdeen: do you want me dead or something?
Alma Coin: maybe…
Peeta Mellark is now friends with Jackson, Mitchell, Homes, Leeg 1, and Boggs.
Peeta Mellark wrote on Katniss Everdeen's wall
These past few years must have been exhausting, deciding whether to kill me or not.
Katniss Everdeen: No duh.
Peeta Mellark: I can't tell what's real and what isn't.
Finnick Odair: then you should ask
Peeta Mellark: who?
Finnick Odair: us
Katniss Everdeen ~ Peeta Mellark
You're favorite color is orange, muted like the sunset. You're a painter, you're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double knot you're shoelaces.
Peeta Mellark: um… stalker much?
Katniss Everdeen: we spent days with each other in a cave, I know more about you than you think.
Peeta Mellark likes Real or not real: the game, and Still being somewhat unstable.
Peeta Mellark: we're under attack! What do we do?
Gale Hawthorne: run!
Peeta Mellark wrote on Mitchell's wall
RAWR! I'M STILL PART MUTT, SO IMMA ATTACK YOU!
Boggs and Mitchell are now offline.
Peeta Mellark: needs to be killed!
Gale Hawthorne likes this
Peeta Mellark wrote on Katniss Everdeen's wall
You have to kill me.
Katniss Everdeen: not gonna happen.
Peeta Mellark: no you have to.
Katniss Everdeen: sorry, you are staying alive
Peeta Mellark likes Kill Me!
Peeta Mellark: Lizard Mutts! Maybe they'll kill me!
Katniss Everdeen: stop the suicidal thoughts. WE ARE NOT GONNA KILL YOU!
Messalla, Jackson, Leeg 1, Homes, Castor, Finnick Odair, Capitol woman, and just about everyone else are now offline.
Peeta Mellark and Tigris are now friends
Peeta Mellark: this is a nice little fur alcove. The shackles just make it better. I just wonder how Tigris can go without bread?
Tigris: it's all part of the image I eat raw meat because wild tigers used to eat raw meat.
Gale Hawthorne ~ Peeta Mellark
I know we've never been friends, but wanna talk about Katniss?
Peeta Mellark:sure she loves you more
Gale Hawthorne: no you!
Peeta Mellark: no you!
Gale Hawthorne: no you!
Peeta Mellark: no you!
Gale Hawthorne: no you!
Peeta Mellark: ok I get it, she loves both of us, question is how will she choose between us
Gale Hawthorne: go on a TV dating show?
Peeta Mellark: hmmm... I didn't think Katniss was into that kind of stuff
Gale Hawthorne: right, it'll be the one she can't survive with out!
Peeta Mellark: harsh!
Gale Hawthorne: yeah... but true!
Katniss Everdeen ~ Peeta Mellark
no offense to you, but I think it's best we split up.
Peeta Mellark: it's ok, now I can find another way to kill myself.
Katniss Everdeen: ...
Peeta Mellark: screw that last comment, I hate being on my own. HELP! I'M LOST! I DON'T EVEN THINK I'M IN THE CAPITOL ANYMORE!
Ron Weasley: you're lost? pfff... at least you're still in the right book! That's the I use the Paneminator for directions, lead me straight to this death-trap!
Peeta Mellark: I think you're supposed to use the Deluminator to get back to your friends, a Paneminator sounds like it would take you here.
Ron Weasley: That would make sense, thanks! Hey how do know about the Deluminator?
Peeta Mellark: you don't think we have Harry Potter in Panem? btw Voldemort dies and you get Hermione.
Ron Weasley: Sweet! Thanx for the spoilers, I think I'll be off now. btw, I think the Capitol is that way, towards all those shiny buildings.
Peeta Mellark: that would also make sense.
Peeta Mellark: why did I want to go back to the Capitol. I AM LITERALLY ON FIRE!
Gale Hawthorne: and you're on facebook while you burn?
Peeta Mellark: I'm facebooking and rolling at the same time.
Peeta Mellark: I think I'm going to the hospital, see you in a few weeks once I've healed.
Alma Coin asked you a question
Should we have one last Hunger Games using Capitol children?
Yes 4
No 3
Alma Coin and Coriolanus Snow are now offline.
Peeta Mellark: still cooped up in this stupid hospital! Can I plz go home soon?
Dr. Aurelius: once you've healed
Peeta Mellark: and when will that be?
Dr. Aurelius: after Katniss goes on trial and leaves for District 12
Peeta Mellark: sigh... it's gonna be a while.
Peeta Mellark likes recovering and hospital food
Peeta Mellark ~ Hospital baker
want some advice on how to make the bread better?
Hospital baker: all our bread comes to us frozen, we don't make it
Peeta Mellark: GAH! YOU SICK PEOPLE!
Peeta Mellark: heading back to District 12, or whatever's left of it.
Peeta Mellark changed his current city to District 12.
Katniss Everdeen ~ Peeta Mellark
You're back
Peeta Mellark: yup, miss me?
Katniss Everdeen: not really, I've been too busy wallowing in self-pity to think about much else.
Peeta Mellark: I can tell, you should get out more.
Katniss Everdeen: yeah
Katniss Everdeen likes The progress District 12 has made and Scrapbooking with friends!
Peeta Mellark wrote on Katniss Everdeen's wall:
You love me. Real or not real?
Katniss Everdeen: real.
Peeta Mellark: :D
Peeta Fangirls: OMG! awwwwww! yay yay yay! SO CUUUUTTTTEEE!
Katniss Everdeen: err.. Peeta fangirls stop killing the moment
Peeta Fangirls: sorry, we got carried away
Err... yeah it's one in the morning. I should not be up this late, but I really wanted to get this up before I left. I hope you appreciate my late night! I'm too tired to check for spelling and grammar, so if it's God awful, sorry! I really am a Grammar Nazi, I swear!
I hope you liked the parts I improvised. It's somewhat hard to make being in prison funny. And I've been in a Harry Potter mood lately, with the new movie coming out in all. so I saw the opporitunity to sneak Ron in and seized it. I'm not sure if it's hilarious or cheesy, you tell me in your reviews!
Happy Independence Day to my American readers, Happy (belated) Canada Day to my Canadian readers, Happy (early) La Fête Nationale to my French readers, and people who don't live in any of these countries, err... Happy summer! Go out and celebrate!
