I was scared when my thoughts caught up with my actions, but I was shocked with Dimitri cupped my face and pulled me closer to his own lips, kissing me back gently. But, before it could escalate into something more, he took a deep breath and pushed my face back away from his.

We sat there for a while, both of our breathing echoing off the walls. I wanted to say something, but all that came out was a mumbled, "Sorry." He didn't answer me and finally, he stood up and helped me up. After drinking from him, I felt better and stronger.

"Dimitri?" I questioned in a small voice as we walked across campus.

He didn't reply at first. But he finally answered me, sounding weary. "Yes, Rose?"

"I'm sorry. About everything…" I muttered.

He still heard me. Looking around, he made sure no one saw us and then grabbed me, pulling me with him in the shadows where no one would see us. He placed his hands on my shoulders and bent his head to look me in the eyes.

I bit my lip and turned away. I felt horrible. What if he didn't feel the same way as I did? What if he was going to reject me right now? Tell me how wrong it was for us? Tell me how he didn't like me that way.

"Save it," I said in a strangled voice. "Save it. I don't want to hear it. I know you don't feel the same way and I'm making a huge fool of myself." I started to get up, but he shoved me back down, his eyes flashing.

"Rose, don't assume anything," he snapped. "What if I said I do feel the same way about you? What if I said you aren't being a fool?"

I was totally and completely shocked. His eyes were blazing with passion and I knew I had to believe him. All this time, I knew how to read people's emotions, yet his were usually closed off. Often, I would see an emotion in his eyes I couldn't place and would wonder. Now, I knew. He did love me back.

"It is true," I breathed.

He nodded. "Yes. But you're my charge. I can't let my love life get in the way of protecting. I need to focus on you and you alone. I do love you and I do feel the same way, but it can't go on. Someone who has some Ozera blood is supposed to be wed to you when you're old enough. I'm just your guardian." He put emphasis on the last part.

I sat stonily, hating the fact that it was true. Aunt Tasha, Christian, and I were basically the last Ozera's and we needed to find someone with some Royal blood for me so we could improve the Ozera line. It sucked big time since I knew Lissa had enough blood and was capable of getting together with Christian. Yet, the person I loved…well he was dhampir and he was my guardian.

Fucking hell, I hated life sometimes. I just wanted to be normal for once. I wanted to be human, or even a dhampir. Not a freaking Moroi who couldn't properly defend herself and constantly needed blood to keep myself from getting…sick in a way, like I had earlier.

Tears started to seep down my cheeks and I angrily swiped at them, not knowing why I was crying. But I was the rejection from him. It was wonderful to know he felt the same way, but it hurt because it was hinting at rejection because of the stupid, twisted world we fucking lived in. I longed to be free and make my own choices.

Aunt Tasha was the one who suggested that Dimitri—a lifelong friend of the family's—to be my guardian. I did meet him a couple times before he actually became my guardian and it was the reason we were so close. No one but Lissa outside the family actually knew that I had basically known Dimitri almost my whole life.

But things started changing when I started to grow up. I became the typical teenager and Dimitri became busy with his guardian duties. For a few years, I didn't see him and I realized that I had missed him some of the time when he wasn't around.

Fresh tears stung the back of my throat at the thought of losing him. He had always been there for me. He was there when my teachers said I hadn't specialized yet and would soon. He was there when people gave me weird looks when I finally told the truth about not specializing in fire, but in spirit, like Lissa. And he was there when I cried and needed a friend.

I sniffed and tried to keep the tears in, but it was too much to hold in and a sob escaped me. Wordlessly, I felt his arms envelope me. I reveled in the comfort I had sought all these years. He held me tight and murmured in Russian to me, knowing I loved it when I listened to his natural language rolling off his tongue.

Maybe there wasn't much hope for a love life between us, but at least there was something. I couldn't make him love me, I couldn't force love. Even if he had admitted it, I couldn't make him act on a relationship no matter how bad I loved him.

I let out a shuddering breath and he pulled me closer before releasing me. He stood up without saying anything and I took his hand. He held it as we walked. To anyone, it would just appear as if he was just comforting me, but we both knew that it was something more. Something different.

Suddenly, as if perfect timing, I remembered some song lyrics in my head that applied to our situation…I whispered sang the words under my breath….

"'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something it won't. Here in the dark, in these final hours, I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power. But you won't, no you won't. 'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't…. Just give me until then to give up this fight and I will give up this fight….'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't…"

Dimitri said nothing more as he led me to my room. I felt like a little kid with him once more. It was like old times when I needed him and he was around. He was always so kind and so gentle, never once judging me or anything. I loved him and he loved me. But there were obstacles in the way.

He waited to make sure I was alright as I walked into the bathroom, shutting the door and changing out of my sweaty clothes. I came back out and settled in bed, pulling the blankets up to me. He came over to me and kissed my forehead softly. He turned to leave, but my next words stopped him.

"Dimitri," I said softly. "Don't leave me."

He turned slowly. His eyes appraised me and I patted the side of the bed, moving to make room for him. I watched his expression change. I knew it was probably a bad decision and he knew it too, but I didn't want him to leave and I wanted his protection, love, and comfort.

Finally, he made up his mind. He sat on the side of the bed, taking his shoes off and settling down beside me for the night.

Phew. Again, nice long chapter. REVIEW!

SONGS:

I Can't Make You Love ME-Bonnie Raitt