Breaking the Rules

By MaryMagdalene912

Disclaimer: You all know that these characters don't belong to me, right? Well, I'm just reminding you of that unfortunate fact. But, on the other hand, if anyone steals my plotline, they can count on having their guts ripped out to make a necklace for me as soon as I find out. Thank you (:

A/N: Like I said, anonymous flamers should get a life already. No one MADE you read the goddamn story, so go do something useful like fucking yourself up the arse, alright? Don't you dare review with abuse AFTER I warned you beforehand about the themes involved being controversial. At least leave your stupid name so you don't come across as an entirely gutless, ball-less vagina-brain. I will write what I like, if you don't like it, don't read it. Simple.

Woah, sorry about that all that ranting, it's just that anonymous flamers really get under my skin! I am only writing for myself and other people who appreciate my work, let me make that clear. So this next chapter's for you faithful people who managed to review with encouragement and even constructive criticism. Before I go on, Strawberrie, thank you for your honest opinion, but as you can see towards the end of the last chapter, Serena isn't totally comfortable with the idea. She was crying for Raye, remember? Read this chapter, it will probably cater for your taste! And merangelgal, thank you.

Chapter 7

"Darien, don't! Please!" Ten-year-old Raye was lying in a pool of blood on an otherwise white, pristine bed. Her eyes had a look of pure terror in them, and she grew frantic as Darien pushed himself in her further. She screamed in agony as he thrust in and out of her. Darien smiled at me, his teeth glinting brightly in the semi-darkness that enveloped their room.

"Serena, help me! He's hurting me!" Raye called out weakly to me. She reached out to me with a bloody hand, and I screamed.

I jerk awake, finding myself hot and sweaty and tangled in my doona. My throat feels like someone had been crushing glass in it. I turn on my bedside lamp and reach for the bottle of water I always keep on my nightstand. Taking a sip, I disentangle myself from my doona, which was threatening to cut off blood circulation to my legs, and sit up, with my back propped up by the headboard.

Reviewing my disturbing dream, I realise that that probably wasn't what had really happened. If my memory served correctly, Darien had said that Raye had been as consenting as someone in her position could have been. At any rate, it wasn't completely forced. Maybe irresponsible, but he never intended to hurt her. My brain's newest coping mechanism it seemed, was sensationalising the shocking news Darien had delivered and making graphic dreams out of it. But why was that happening? Hadn't I already decided to forgive Darien and move on? I mean, it wasn't even any of my business, and it had happened so long ago, who was I to make the past into a huge deal? Plus, I should be appreciating the fact that Darien trusted in me enough to make me his confidante.

All through this rationalisation of Darien's actions, I realise that a knot had formed in my stomach and it is getting harder to breathe. I could feel the memories threatening to spill forward, activated by what Darien had told me, but with the near-effortlessness of someone who has practised for many years, I slam down the familiar mental block. I didn't need my own troubled past confusing this situation any further.

I knew that I had to pull myself together and deal with Darien's past. Either accept him for who he was (and that meant accepting his past as well) or reject him and move on. Deep in my heart, I knew that I couldn't reject him, not after I had essentially forgiven someone else who had made similar mistakes. But I couldn't accept what he had done either, not right now. The tightness in my stomach was telling me all I needed to know.

I get out of bed and go to the kitchen to make myself a pickle sandwich. I know it sounds weird, but it's the best remedy for insomnia. Or at least, it works for me! After finishing the sandwich, I sit at the kitchen table, my chin propped up by my hands, letting my mind wander. Was what Darien did ok? He was young and didn't know better, I suppose. But then again, he could've been sent to a juvenile court and convicted for that sort of thing. However, Raye wasn't completely in the right either, I mean, she had come on to him hadn't she? On the other hand, how could anyone interpret a ten-year-old's actions as coquettish? It was all so confusing...

The little girl is skipping towards the swings, smiling and humming a nursery rhyme. She's happy because her whole family and extended family are on a picnic at the park and she can play all day. Her uncle offers to push her swing and she agrees. She likes being pushed into the air, higher and higher, till she feels like she's flying.

"Higher, Uncle Rob!" she screams, "Higher! Push me faster!" she giggles as her uncle makes a 'vroom' noise as he pushes her.

All too soon, her swing comes to a halt. "Uncle Rob, you didn't push me, my swing's stopped." She pouts.

"Hey little lady, I know a place where the swings go even higher than this."

"Really?" Her eyes widen with pleasure at the prospect.

"Really, really! Come, it's behind those bushes, I'll show you." He takes her hand and leads her away from the rest of her family. All her other relatives occupied with all the little kids running around, creating pandemonium don't notice the little girl has gone missing for a little while.

"Put your hands on it. Come on Rena, I haven't got all day..." She does as she is told and blocks out what happens after that. The next thing she remembers is her mom approaching Uncle Rob and asking him why she was crying.

"She fell off the swing, I'm taking her to buy her an ice cream," Uncle Rob smoothly lied. And she also remembers what he said to her later on. "You say one word of what happened to anyone and I'll break your mother's neck."

I didn't wholly believe him because he was threatening to kill his own sister, but how could I risk not to? So the defenceless seven year old version of myself did as she was told whenever Uncle Rob took her off alone on his little "outings", until one day he was charged for distributing child pornography on the internet and sentenced to jail. My whole family was shocked by the incident but had never thought to investigate what damage he may have inflicted on the members of the family.

I had never told anyone what had happened in that dark period of her life, mainly because I was ashamed of my inability to speak out sooner. But the memories lay just below the surface of her consciousness, needing only sleep or a moment of my guard being let down for the thoughts to surface. And the thoughts were popping into my mind, vibrant with life as though I had only formulated them yesterday.

Opening my drawer, I took out the bottle of sleeping tablets I kept there for my frequent bouts of insomnia, and downed three for good measure with the help of the bottle of water sitting beside it. I could deal with my issues in the morning.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I am woken by the ringing of my phone. I reach over, grab it, open it to silence the incessant noise which is almost puncturing my eardrums, and put it to my ear. The bright sunlight of midday makes me squint as I listen for the voice on the other end.

"Hello?" Darien's rich voice fills my ear.

"Darien?"

"Yeah. Serena, I need to see you. I want to talk about what I said yesterday."

It feels as though something has caught in my throat. My mind is involuntarily cast back to the nightmare I had last night, involving Raye and Darien, and I try to shake my head to clear my thoughts. Except my head is throbbing from the lack of sleep and the slight overdose of sleeping pills. It wasn't going to be a very good morning.

"Darien, I don't think it would be a very good idea. I... I think we should take a break." There. I said it. I don't know how I suddenly mustered up the courage to do it, but I did, and let me tell you, it feels like I've made the right choice.

"But... we... Serena, you surely don't mean that."

"Yeah, I actually do. I need to think about what you told me. I still care about you, Darien, but I need some time to figure this out."

"Can I at least come over to talk to you while you figure it out?"

"Um..." I hear a noise near the entrance of my room. I step over to the door to see if it is Mina, but I can't see anyone. "Darien, I'll call you right back, ok?" Hanging up the phone, I walk out to investigate. Suddenly, a hand grabs me from behind and shoves a handkerchief in my face. Strong chemical fumes rise from it and weld themselves to the insides of my nostrils. Before I can see who my assailant is, the world goes black.