Hanging by a Moment
"I'm falling even more in love with you."
Katie's head rested against the headboard, her hair tousled every which way. She watched James lazily as he got ready for an interview at an office. She rolled onto her side, taking several deep breaths, before she forced herself to her feet. "James, are you sure you're ready for an interview? Isn't it really soon? You just went on break from the band for a few years…"
"I know, and I hate doing this, but if Logan is going to be a doctor, then I'm going to work in an office." James smiled and kissed her forehead.
"Dearest husband of mine, what exactly will you be doing at this office?" Katie inquired.
"Beautiful wife of mine, I intend on being a records keeper. You don't want to be in this apartment forever, right? Well, it's time one of us starts earning money, and until you're good to go to work again, it's going to be me." He took her by the shoulders and walked her to the bed, gently forcing her to sit down. "You need rest."
"I'll be fine, it's just the medicine." Katie whispered, watching him move about the room fluidly. "James, please listen to me. It's the medicine I have to take; it makes me sick all the time. Stop worrying about me and let me work."
He shushed her and smiled. "You need to make an appointment. Until I know for sure that you didn't relapse, you're not allowed to work. Got it?"
"Fine, I'll make an appointment, I'll get checked out, and you can stop freaking out, alright? I want to get back on my feet, the company needs me." Katie hissed quietly.
"My sister is doing a fine job running your company. Calm down and take over when you're ready. Stop forcing yourself to get better, you can't rush results." He sat beside her and smiled, touching the back of her head. "Katie, you need to get used to living at home anyway. One day you'll be a mother."
"When?" Katie demanded her voice harsh. "Before or after the ten miscarriages in the last year alone?"
"It takes time to make a miracle. I have faith in you, Katie. You'll do it." He kissed her forehead. "Right now, it's probably the treatments making it difficult for you to conceive, but you will."
"I want a baby, James." Katie whispered on the verge of tears.
"You want Landon." He commented. "Landon is gone, and I'm sorry you had to go through that…I'm sorry I put you through it ten times. But Katie, fate doesn't want you to have a child right now. When the time is right, you'll know."
She kissed his forehead and handed him his keys from the bedside table. "Come home safe."
"I will." He smiled at her and left, wondering if it was a good idea to leave her as sick as she was.
"Doctor Harvard? Hi. It's Katie Knight, remember me? I need to make an appointment for later today if you have any openings. I've been sick and I'm afraid my cancer has relapsed." She looked at her shoes, toes pointed towards each other, as she waited for them to answer. When he finally did, she smiled wide. "Two? That works for me."
Until then, she'd deal with tidying up the house and looking around for something to wear.
One fifteen rolled around and she had finally decided on wearing a black shirt with one of James' hoodies over top, and a pair of old jeans. She grabbed her keys from the hook by the door and looked back into the room, fear overwhelming her body. She didn't want to think about what would happen if she was sick again. How could she tell James?
Flipping open her cell phone, she called James and waited.
"Katie? Is something wrong?" James asked, panic lacing his voice.
"I just got off the phone with my Oncologist, he's afraid I relapsed. He scheduled me an appointment for later today." Her hands trembled as she spoke. "I'm scared. Where are you?"
"I won't be home until late tonight. Katie, will you be okay?" The pain made his voice deeper. He didn't want to go through this again. Not with the woman he loved. The risks were much higher this time. "Say the word, I'll drop the interview and come right to your side."
She took a deep breath and smiled to herself. "No. I'm strong. I handled it on my own the first time, I'm sure I'll be fine this time."
"Except, you're not on your own." James whispered, his voice trembling. She could tell he was fighting tears from the thought. "You've got me this time. I won't let you go. Not without one hell of a fight."
She nodded, realizing he wasn't there to see her, and frowned. "I promise you're the first person I'll call, James. I swear. I don't want to be alone tonight."
"You won't be. I'll be home by nine. My interview got pushed to six, but I swear I'll be home by nine." He commented.
Katie climbed into her car and started the engine. "I love you, dear husband."
He laughed. "I love you too, dear wife."
James sat in a chair, reading and rereading his questions, hoping for a reprieve. Maybe one of the other men in line would get sick and go home. He needed this job. If Katie did have cancer again, there was no way he'd be able to afford her treatments. Not to mention the insurance would most likely drop her for a pre-existing condition. He closed his eyes, trying to fight off all of the thoughts crossing his mind.
The man next to him leaned over slightly. "You okay, man?"
"Yeah, it's just…my wife is really sick." He looked over at the person next to him. It was the first time he'd noticed that it wasn't a man, but a teenager next to him. He looked to James quietly, blue eyes clashing with brown. "She just got over cancer, her doctor is afraid she's sick again."
"Man that sucks. I hope she gets better." The boy commented, offering his hand. "I'm Alex. Hope you keep your story straight, they love sob stories. Mine is that my sister got hit by a car and I need the money to pay for her surgery."
"Sob story?" James didn't shake the boy's hand. "No, my wife really is sick."
"And my sister really was hit. It's always best to believe your story." Alex noted. "Man, you've done this before, huh?"
James turned away, watching people pass through the hall. An older, graying man came out and looked to the six remaining people in the hall. "Alex Carver, come with me, please." The man nodded to Alex and went back down the hall.
James sat in silence, praying Katie wasn't sick again.
Katie sat uncomfortably on the table, her brown eyes blinking rapidly to fight tears. Every time she took a breath, it was harder to keep from being sick. She hopped down and ran to the corner, throwing up into the trashcan. This was exactly how it started for her. She shook, all the time, and no matter what she couldn't keep anything down. Tears began to prick her eyes. "Not again…please, not again."
Doctor Harvard walked in several minutes later, frowning when he saw Katie crying. "Katherine?"
"I'm sorry. I got sick. I didn't mean to do it." She looked at him with a frown.
"It's alright; I expect it by now dealing with illnesses. What exactly are your symptoms?" He sat on the chair across from her, spinning to face her with his clipboard in hand.
"I can't stop shaking, I've been throwing up constantly, and I've been unable to eat anything since Tuesday. I haven't had a period since I started taking my medicine a year ago, and I didn't mention it last time because I figured it was a symptom." She folded her hands in her lap, trying to fight the trembling and nausea. "I don't want to be sick again."
"Are you prepared for a hysterectomy, Katherine?" Doctor Harvard inquired. "It isn't uncommon to relapse so soon after surgery, but I was positive we got all the infected organs removed."
"I would welcome a hysterectomy at this point. After ten miscarriages, anything is welcomed." Katie quietly whispered, watching him write on his clipboard.
"Where is your husband?" He'd only met him once.
"At an interview…" She smiled softly.
The doctor nodded and smiled. "I hope he gets the job. It might get you guys to stop thinking about having a baby."
Katie looked defeated. "I still want one."
"If you are cancerous, Katherine, it would be incredibly dangerous for your health to continue trying to conceive. I'm sure your husband would agree." He spun to face his desk, scribbling on the notebook again. "We're going to send you down for an x-ray."
She stood from her place and looked at the doctor again. Instead of saying anything, she wandered down the hall, remembering all of the places she was. She'd been through this before so many times, it seemed like second nature to her. Looking up at the sign that said Radiology, her breathing sped up and she began to tremble again, fear clenching her heart.
She received a text moments before she could even put her hand on the doorknob.
You'll be okay, Katie. I love you.
For some reason his words were enough to give her the confidence to enter the room. She jumped onto the table and lay back, closing her eyes as the radiologist did her job. "Katie, you're back here? I was sure you were cured the last time."
"I'm as shocked as you are, Jane." She stared at the other woman for a long time. "I'm also sure I'll be seeing you again."
Ten minutes later, Katie was sitting in the waiting room, counting tiles on the ceiling. She was up to fifty-seven when Doctor Harvard came down the hall, holding her x-ray results. He turned to Katie. "Come with me."
Katie nodded and hesitantly followed him to the radiology room, where he lit up her results. He ran his finger along a large mass in her uterus. "I'll need to send you for an ultrasound. It looks benign."
Katie's voice cracked. "No. Not again. Not again! I won't go through this by myself!"
"You're not alone; you've got your husband. That's more than you had last year." The doctor looked away for a moment. "Katherine, we need to start talking about treatment options. I don't want this getting out of hand. We caught it in time last time, but this time you may not be so lucky."
She sucked in a deep breath and stood straight. "When can I get the ultrasound?"
He looked at his watch. "Iris has an opening in her schedule at eight, is that alright?"
Katie looked away, thinking about what James had said. "Eight…that's fine."
Katie texted James but he wasn't home yet. She sat in the living room and waited, since he wasn't answering any of her texts. She laid her head back against the couch, holding the pink teddy bear close, trying not to cry. She didn't know how to tell James what she had to tell him. The words just wouldn't come to her. Instead, she sat on the couch, taking as many deep breaths as possible.
James froze in the doorway, watching his wife biting on her nails, holding the teddy. Her eyes were dark with tears, puffy from crying. That wasn't a good sign. "Katie?"
She hadn't heard him come in. He had startled her. "James!"
"Katie, I have some news for you." He smiled weakly, but she didn't smile back.
Katie nodded, the frown still crossing her features. "I have some news for you, too." She paused and took a deep breath. "You first."
He sat beside her, taking her hands into his. "I got the job. I can afford your treatments. Katie, I'll take care of you, you aren't alone. I love you, we'll get through this."
"James, stop." She placed her hand over his. "I'm glad you got the job. Don't let me ever tell you otherwise. I'm actually excited for you." She looked away.
"The news wasn't good…its terminal, isn't it?" James' brain began to panic, negative thoughts crossing his mind, thoughts he knew he shouldn't be thinking. Things he didn't want to think of.
"I'm pregnant."
Her whispered words barely registered in his mind. He was too caught up thinking of the negative. It took him several minutes to speak. "Pregnant?"
"You heard me."
"How far?" He asked, scooting closer, bringing her small body into his arms. "Katie, how far?" He demanded, knowing if it was in the first trimester, she wouldn't carry full term.
"Four and a half months." Katie looked up at him. "Eighteen weeks, to be more exact."
James looked at his wife, mind wandering to slightly more positive things. "Katie, why are you upset?"
"Because I never thought this would happen for me. The doctor told me to stop trying, because it would be dangerous to my health. James, this is real. It's really happening. We're having a baby girl." She placed a hand on her stomach, James placed his over top. "Landon Ruth."
"Landon Ruth." He kissed her neck. "Are you out of the dark?"
"He said that she's growing healthy, and that I'm healthy, and both of us are fine. Can you believe she's six ounces, and I've gained fifteen pounds?"
"I hadn't noticed," James dropped to his knees in front of her, both hands on either side of her abdomen, kissing her bellybutton. "Katie, she's going to make it. The force is strong with this one."
"You know what James? I think you're right this time. And I'll be extra careful." She tugged his hand so he was sitting next to her again. "My first prenatal appointment is Tuesday…are you coming with?"
"I start working in a week…so yeah, I can do that." He brushed a hand through her hair. "I love you, beautiful wife." He touched her stomach. "And I love you, little Landon."
AN: I loved writing this chapter. I have another one after this finished. Five reviews and I'll post the next one. =)
